Ryan’s Second Guest Post

I enjoy nearly every lunch that I bring to work. Of course some are better than others, but I really do try to make an effort to pack lunches that I genuinely look forward to eating, so I’m not left envying my coworkers who bring delicious-smelling takeout into the office around noon every day. (I’ve noticed that Chinese food smells particularly intoxicating.)

One meal that’s a sure-fire hit with me is a noodle bowl.

Noodle Bowl

I love these things and am always anxious to dig into my lunch bag all morning.

Today’s noodle bowl included:

  • Carba Nada egg fettuccine pasta (12 grams of protein per serving = Win!)
  • Marinara meat sauce
  • Fresh spinach
  • Chopped portobello mushrooms

Nuts for Noodles!

Time for a Bite

As always, I enjoyed every last bite. Chomp!

And now, without further ado, I bring you Ryan’s second guest post. I can only assume it was inspired by the creepy men at our gym, considering he informed me of his idea for a post right after we were done working out this morning. I hope you enjoy it! 😀

Ryan’s Second Guest Post

I’ve always wondered how girls judge guys. Being a heterosexual male I’ve obviously never had to judge another guy from a dating perspective. However, I think I have a fool-proof method that may benefit you single ladies out there.

In full disclosure, I have no “game” when it comes to attracting girls. Somehow I got extremely lucky to catch the eye of the best girl I could ever imagine. But, one thing I do know is that I 100% passed the following test.

Obviously this “good guy” theory of mine could be completely wrong. Plus, I’m a guy and we’re always wrong… right? But bare with me, because I think my method for finding a “good guy” may have some merit.

Ok. Let’s set the stage. Frankly, being a guy trying to attract a girl is hard work. There is no handbook. No sure way to impress. Every girl probably looks for very different qualities, but if I were a girl, I’d have one staple quality I’d look for: A guy that looks me in the eye.

I’m not saying this a rule, it’s only my opinion, but eye contact would tell me all I needed to know about whether someone is a good guy or not. If a guy is attracted to a girl, he obviously can’t tear his eyes away from her, but which areas of the girl is he focused on? Face = Good guy. Anything else = Not good.

Good Guy's Guide: Where to Look

Of course a perfectly “good guy” could take a glance at the goodies too, but I think that most genuinely good guys will talk to you and listen to you while looking you in the eye… not the chest (or butt, though that would be kind of hard).

Obviously this rule won’t work for every girl. If you’re like the girl in the picture above who has made a career out of her sexuality and the desire to have men stare at her, then if a guy glances at the goods, it may get you excited and you’ll fall instantly in love with your boobie-looker.

But, the truth is that a single glance should be all you need to know. Guys aren’t stupid. We’re actually quite intelligent. Every guy knows that he shouldn’t be looking anywhere else but your face. We know it! But if he looks down, he either doesn’t care or takes you for a fool and doesn’t think you’ll notice.

Good Guy Test #2: Let’s say a guy holds it together with you but is constantly letting his eyes wander as other girls pass by. Same story as above, a guy knows he shouldn’t look. If he does, he’s either stupid or he thinks you are. Either way he’s not worth your time.  Exception: There are instances with Julie and me, when someone walks by, causing us both to look. Picture your classic Wal-Mart mullet, sequined-covered leotard, no shoes, 10 babies. If you can look, he can look.

So that’s my theory. Take it or leave it. But I’d really love to know what you think! How do you judge a guy? What makes you think a guy is worth dating and not a total creeper?

Comments

  1. Kaella says

    I love EVERYTHING about this post!!! I have one of the “good guys” and I agree with Ryan about what things are important.

    P.S. I think I’ve seen that same lady at our Walmart 😉

    Very enjoyable post!

    Oh, and can I add holding open a door? From my experience, I’ve noticed only the good guys do this.

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    • says

      yes!!! a guy who holds open the door = keeper. however, guys who pull your chair out for you are a little much. ryan only does this on “special dates,” though he does always wait for me to sit first, which i think is kinda cute. :)

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    • says

      i am going to disagree with you on the holding the door. i started dating someone that did that ALL the time, and well, he a) was cheating on his wife (i didnt know) and b) he wanted to not only sleep with other people, he wanted her to as well. like with other men.

      so no, holding the door is sometimes just a ploy.

      btw, hes divorced, broke and at the bottom of the barrel now with an exwife who DID marry a GOOD guy and he lost his daughter.

      and yes, hes still a horrible person with other women.

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  2. says

    FANtastic! and oh so true! If there is one thing that will make me respect a guy like I respect a serial killer :O) its when they look at other women right in front of me.

    SO disrespectful.

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  3. LoLo says

    Well, seeing as I have never dated and don’t really feel the need to seriously date till I am out of college, I might not have to best view point. But I do agree with you Ryan. A guy should most definitely look me in the eye while talking to me and he should be more interested in my likes/dislikes, hobbies, personality, etc., instead of only how I look on the outside. Yes, you are a very lucky man! and Julie, you are a very lucky woman :) I pray one day I will meet my Prince charming and that when we talk he will be looking deep into my eyes :) haha

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  4. says

    not that i’m a huge expert on guys… but i AM married to a very good guy so here’s my 2 cents :)

    i think only good guys get (slightly) nervous on first/second dates. if a guy isn’t nervous, that usually indicates a great deal of cockiness. that, or confidence. some confidence is okay but too much means he ain’t worth your time because he’s too self-absorbed! :)

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  5. mkr says

    I firmly believe that guys who ask you questions and try to have a 2-sided conversation is a good catch. There is nothing worse than a guy who catches your attention, but then just talks and talks about himself…and you’re stuck standing there, just nodding your head. Boo.

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  6. says

    I just laughed out loud with Ryan’s final question – I have used the phrase “total creeper” often lately when meeting new guys (who are in fact, total creepers!)

    I 100% agree with the eye contact and the attention. I also find that when you’re first meeting a guy and getting to know them, sure you want some flirtation but if sex/anything sexual comes up a lot in that first conversation = total creeper alert! That guy is usually out for JUST the goodies.

    The good guys tend to keep conversation on getting to know YOU, not your bedroom etiquette 😉

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  7. Jillian says

    Hey Julie! Where can you buy Carba Nada pasta? Thanks! :) And loved the guest post and totally agree with Ryan. I judge a guy by the conversation. You can tell if he’s listening to what you’re saying or just nodding his head to make you THINK he’s interested. Key: repeating what you say, answering your questions, answering with intelligent responses, looking in your eyes :)

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  8. Natalie says

    I ordered those noodles on line and I love them. I can eat pasta again! Are you eating your noodles cold or are you heating them up?

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  9. says

    Julie, you have yourself an amazing guy, right there! Not that I have to tell you that, of course. 😉

    I completely agree with this….though I’ve never really thought about it! (So maybe not enough guys are lookin’ at my goodies??? I need some help from Ciara).

    I have to go with the example my dad has always set – they do good things for others. I know that seems pretty simply and, well, obvious – but I think the *key* is that they do these things without bragging or even wanting to take credit. If a guy pays for a friend’s meal and tells me about it, well, so what? But if he does it without getting praised and even keeps it to himself, well….that’s a good guy right there. :-)

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  10. says

    a nervous guy who works hard to make you happy and gain your trust is, in my opinion, generally a good guy.

    i also feel as if when a guy tends to disclose plenty about himself is also a keeper.

    those who are shifty, sketchy, don’t introduce you to people, and don’t tell you much are usually not the kind you want to keep around.

    another gold star: when you learn he’s been talking about you to his family and friends. :) ding ding ding, winner!

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  11. steph says

    loveeeee this theory !! i also just emailed it to my friend because we are always trying to figure guys out and i loved every thing about this post !

    ps – i read ryans first guest post for the first time today and was LOL-ing at work. (did i just admit i was reading pbfingers at work ?!! oops)

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  12. Laurie says

    Thanks Ryan for a great post! You’re one of the few good ones out there! My husband used to open the car door, pull out the chair, etc. for me while we were dating, but now since we’ve been married for 10 years, not so much :(, but he’s still a great guy!

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  13. says

    I love this post! I remember when I first met my boyfriend and first started dating, he always looked me in the eye, asked me questions and really showed that he was interested in what I was talking about. He is always a gentleman and always holds the door for me, even over 5 years later. There are good guys out there. :)

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  14. says

    “…you’ll fall instantly in love with your boobie-looker.” <— definitely caused me to giggle!

    I agree though that eye contact and focus are two ways to weed out the good guys. My mister also won me over by showing a genuine interest in getting to know me by asking me lots of questions and actually paying attention to my answers! He also confessed that he had been wanting to talk to me for a long time, but didn't have the nerve to approach me. A little flattery never hurts!

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  15. Katie says

    Great post! I love getting to see Ryan’s personality and why you two are such a sweet couple together. I totally agree with Ryan’s points! I would also add that good guys are patient and listen to what you have to say without getting defensive or up in arms if you’re trying to have a serious conversation (whether you’re in a relationship and talking about an issue or you’re just on a date talking about politics or other controversial issues). I also think good guys may think of themselves as such privately, but don’t go around proclaiming, “I’m a good guy!”

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  16. says

    LOL This is one of my favorite posts ever! Especially because he did a Kim Kardashian diagram! I think you can tell a total creeper within the first 5 seconds. They generally have these crazy eyes…

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  17. says

    What a cute post. This definitely had me chuckling. Go Ryan!

    My hubby is definitely a good guy, he always opens the door for me (when I don’t beat him to it) and when I cook, he automatically cleans up with no complaints.

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  18. ashley says

    i’m going to add that a guy who wants to take you on an actual date is a good guy. My friends are always meeting guys who take their number and then want to “hang out” at their place rather than go out, which turns out to be code for hook-up only every time.

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  19. ashley says

    oh, also a guy who takes the time to call you rather than communicate only through text message after meeting you and never calling.

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  20. says

    Love it! I’m living in France right now and am dating a guy that always looks me in the eye when he talks to me. And when I catch him looking at me, he’s looking at my face with a huge smile. It makes be feel so good! If a guy can’t keep his line of vision in the right direction when we’re talking, I find it really distracting!

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  21. Shelby says

    I agree with the eye contact thing. ( although it sometimes makes me nervous if the guy is super cute)
    I have never had a boyfriend or a date really (unless you count a really awkward prom date, set up by a friend), but for me any guy who is good with children I find really attractive. Also his use of “potty words.” I think a guy should be able to talk to his friends with out using a curse word every 5 seconds.

    P.S I love love love your blog.

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    • Shareece says

      I completely agree with you, guys good with kids are appealing. And cursing.. yeah. There are PLENTY of other words to use out there!

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  22. Gillian Young says

    I’m so happy to have found a keeper! After a couple of days of knowing each other he bursted out mid-sentence “You have the most amazing eyes!” It was done in the most genuine, non-cheesy, thinking out loud kind of way. Then he went out to buy me an espresso- then dropped the espresso because he was holding the door for someone- and went back out to get me another. Sold.

    You and Ryan are a great couple, and lucky to have one another!

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  23. says

    hahaha, great post, from the part about having a good lunch so you’re jealous of other people’s food to Ryan’s thoughts.

    About Ryan’s post though, I think it’s not just about eye-to-eye contact vs. eye-to-boob contact (I think I should trademark those terms) but about being able to look at you in the eye at all. So many guys (maybe because they’re shy, lack self-confidence, are schizo, I don’t know) just can’t keep eye contact not because they’re checking you out but because they just can’t look you in the eye, they looking next to you, around you, hold your gaze for half a second… a good guy can just look at you. I’ve noticed that!

    Also, I know your guy shouldn’t be all over other girls or anything, but I do believe in the idea that it’s biologically natural for guys to check out other girls. It’s not like he has to do it every five seconds, or tell you all about it, but it’s normal for him to check out another girl if she’s attractive, the same way we look at a passing guy if he’s hot. We realize it doesn’t “mean” anything to us, so we should realize it doesn’t mean anything deep to them either!

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  24. says

    Haha I loved his guest post! He is soooo right… a good guy will appreciate the assets that the girl has, but will also respect her enough to pay attention and look her in the eye when talking, etc.

    I am about to get married and me and my fiance do the same thing where we judge or look together, its kind of funny (such as like you said in Wal-Mart)! If he can look, I can look!

    But… there is def. a fine like that should not be crossed!!!!

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  25. says

    I love this. “Fall in love with your boobie looker”…that line is priceless. I agree with both statements, especially number 2. I’ll admit that at this point in our relationship, I get kind of flattered when my boyfriend isn’t exactly looking me in the eyes, but he’s never checked out a girl in front of me. I love the “if you can look, he can look” rule too though, because my man and I have both done the “wow she’s gorgeous” look!

    Another good guy trait: he treats his mom with respect. I hesitate to say that because my mom and I don’t have the greatest relationship, but in a man I think that it’s essential. He doesn’t have to be a total mama’s boy, but if he treats her like dirt that’s probably the way he’s going to treat the other women in his life as well!

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  26. Karen says

    What a great post Ryan!! You two are so adorable!! Eye contact is a very important thing to me and I sometimes find my husband looking away (at the tv) when I am telling him something. So being the person I am, I’ll go stand in front of the tv and that gets the attention back on me…ha-ha. Of course, that only works if it’s not a White Sox game & Bears game…ha-ha. I wish you two all the best and you’ll have to come back to Chicago soon!!

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  27. Sarah says

    I agree with Ryan’s comments. I would like to add that I sooooo wish the book “He’s just not that into you” had come out earlier on in my dating years. I read it post-college, but while also still in my dating years. I read it while walking on the treadmill at the gym. I didn’t want anyone to know what I was reading, so was cautious to keep the book flat so noone could see. I can’t count the number of times I almost fell off the machine trying to stifle my laughs while still walking and fearing someone would ask what I was reading. Long story short, there’s alot of lessons in this book that I could have used so I would have known how to recognize a guy that “just wasn’t that into me” and that was ok because it was better in the long run to be with a guy that was. I think that even though I am now happily married to a guy that is crazy about me (and vice versa) I’d still crack up at the book if I went back and read it.

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  28. says

    i have to say that when i met my husband i knew he was a good catch because he shook my hand and looked me in the eye. he was genuine, held open doors, and really cared. there are a lot of guys who will do the right things with the wrong intentions, but the really great ones will show that they genuinely care!

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  29. Kristina says

    I could not agree more with the whole eye contact thing. Especially when hes looking at you and you catch him looking you in the eye. Another thing that I find so sweet is when he protects you a little bit. I’m not saying full out punch any guy that even so much glances at you, but if my boyfriend and I are out somewhere and there are lots of males, or just in a sketchy environment period, he will grab my hand and bring me a bit closer to him. Its a small gesture, but it makes me feel like he really doesn’t want anything to happen to me, or for any guy to think that they can even begin to get ideas in their heads!

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  30. Heather says

    I loved Ryans post! So true! I am lucky enough to have also married a great guy! We have been married almost five years and it’s funny because he’ll go to open my car door for me and I’ll yell, “are you crazy?! It’s -3 degrees outside today! Don’t open my door for me, just get in the car & start it!”. Lol! Maybe I should be a little more appreciative if his good guy manners!!

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  31. Mary says

    “If you can look, he can look.” – This is so true! My friends and I like to point out girls to our husbands that are outrageously dressed or just ridiculous looking. It’s so funny to see their reactions!

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  32. Jamily says

    Hilarious and great job, Ryan! When my husband and I were dating he never let me carry any bags or push a shopping cart. I loved it :). The great thing is that after almost 4 years of marriage, he still does those things :)

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  33. says

    Ryan is hilarious! Using words like ‘boobie looker’ & ‘goodies’ had me CRACKING up! 😀
    I love ‘people watching’ too- so fun! It’s amazing what you see sometimes!

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  34. Kennis says

    It always melts my heart a little when….

    They remember the details of your conversation, or little things you like/dislike — even a month or so later.

    Spontaneous surprises — like dropping your favorite coffee off at your office just to make you smile or if they kept you up late.

    Kisses on the forehead — just because.

    Openly showing they care about you in front of anyone — no crazy PDA though — ew. haha :)

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  35. says

    I pretty much have a flat chest so havent had any issues with guys looking there haha
    But I am a model…and although I never come right out and say it, the guys assume (im super tall) or they find out from friends etc.
    Its not that im ashamed of being a model but if that “title” is all that matters to a guy…im not interested.
    Same goes for other women Im sure who have a high paying job or are extremely successful.
    Guys need to look past titles and appearances and not only look into the EYES of a woman but also into her soul.
    I refuse to add guys to facebook after one date, I dont show them any pictures…they can take me or leave me once they get to know who I am.
    OH AND CHIVALRY COSTS NOTHING!!!!

    amazing guest post! pleeeeeeease write about these kinds of controversial topics more:)

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  36. Shady says

    Sorry Ryan,
    I’m going to disagree. I’m not foolish enough to believe that guys aren’t looking at other girls. Girls look too though. I think it’s a part of human nature. It’s when they start touching or talking about what they see that bothers me.

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    • Kelly says

      I agree. I find it funny that boyfriends or husbands could not care less if you say a guy is hot (well most wouldn’t), but if most girls heard their boyfriend or husband say that it would make them very jealous. I used to get so upset when my boyfriend would look at porn, but I know it happens and he means nothing by it. guys have to have variety, maybe not in real life, but in their head.

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  37. Michelle @ Give Me the Almond Butter says

    Fantastic post! I always love seeing things from a guy’s perspective.

    I like a guy who is just a positive person. It’s so hard being with people who are constantly down, pessimistic and complaining. I can’t stand it. But learning about their personality I guess comes in the dating stage, not the actual “catching” of the person.

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  38. Nathan Miller says

    Us men are always wrong Ryan…always…if when we are right our better halfs wont admit it…its a never winning battle..i just accept it and move on

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  39. says

    Something that always made me MORE attracted to a guy was when I was out with a guy and he was polite to people in public, especially servers/cashiers, etc.

    I don’t care how good looking a guy is, if he’s a douchebag or just plain rude, it makes him ugly in my eyes!

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  40. Emily says

    i love love love this post! however, while i agree with everything ryan said, i have found it extremely hard to find these said guys. maybe it’s because i’m in college and they all are still immature (haaaah), but it’s been quite the task!

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  41. says

    Thumbs up! I agree with this. I have been dating my boyfriend for over four years, and I have, honest to Goodness, never seen him check out another girl in front of me.

    It is so nice that many of these comments are about how wonderful the men in our lives are. I’m glad there are so many good guys and so many women who value them!

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  42. Kelly says

    I like it when guys remember things….and not obvious things like your birthday but simple things you mention in passing. Obviously this wouldn’t be a first time meeting but as a relationship progresses I think remembering the little details shows that he really cares and values what you have to say.

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  43. Geraldine says

    When I was single I would always judge a guy by how he was with me in front of his friends. If he didn’t think I was worth introducing, or acted a bit “off” with me infront of them, then I’d know he wasn’t worth my time!

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  44. says

    Any guy, unless he’s gay or just not into you, is going to stray his eyes every now and then and that’s perfectly ok. I mean, if guys had something bursting out at us that we liked, we’d probably look too. But I think to be a good guy, he should be able to look you straight in the eye, deep into your eyes where you can tell he genuinely likes you for you.

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  45. says

    I love this!!! Ryan, you are hilarious, and so spot on with your analysis!

    I also am lucky to have landed a *good guy* (whos name is Ryan, btw!) and I’d have to say that one of the things that drew me to him was that in addition to the direct eye contact, he was all about getting to know me when we first met, even though there were tons of other beautiful girls in the room he could’ve been meeting/talking to! Oh, and following up with a text/phone call the next day is always a plus in my book, none of those games or 3-day rule!

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  46. says

    Great guest post! The good guys are those who respect their mothers, those who are honest –not that one can truly know if a person is being honest. As for checking out other women, it’s human nature. You can look just don’t touch or drool for goodness sake. Nor is there a reason to make it known to your spouse that you are checking out another woman! As in don’t gawk over them!

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  47. best123 says

    I enjoyed the guest post even though I am not a heterosexual female – I still look for similar things. Guy or girl I want to be respected, not a piece of meat. And I LOVE it when Ryan appears in the posts (guest or just you mentioning him) becuase he seems pretty fun and you two love each other very much. I am similar in age (a wee bit younger) and it is nice to see that much lovie and committment so young. I am on track for that :)

    I have often wondered about Carba Nada when you post about it….. I am from Canada and if I want to try it, I need to order quite a bit. Whenever you post about it, it looks pretty tasty. I am not a huge pasta eater but I would like to encorporate the AMAZING noodle bowls you like into my diet. Do you have any complaints about this product? AND do you notice a difference from normal noodles? Or have any recommendations for cooking them?

    THANKS! Happy Weekend!

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  48. says

    I feel very blessed to a have a good guy. I have always loved that he fully respects me and doesn’t do any “typical” guy behaviors while still being all-man. That’s why I married him :)

    I also love when he opens doors for me, lets me pick where to sit first, and I still feel like a newlywed even after four years. I’m not sure when you stop being a newlywed, but I say not anytime soon!

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  49. MJ says

    my sister got a good guy for sure. he’s always surprising her with different things. they’ve been married for 15 years and together 19. he’s a minister in the army and went to afghanastan in November for a few weeks, missing both their birthday’s in the process. they had a celebration for his before he left and he said they’d do something for her’s when he got back. well he had something up his sleeve. on her birthday he called to wish her a happy birthday and told her to tell their youngest son to check his email. in the email was a message to go get the surprise out of his closet. in the closet was a gift and a card with money in it for my 2 nephews to take my sister out for lunch for her birthday.

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  50. says

    i was browsing through your site on my lunch, and i am so glad i found this old post! can i just tell you, i would eat carba nada pasta all the time my senior year of college (sadly, 6 years ago) and no one could believe me when i told them the nutrition info! i would get it at le gourmet chef, but then they stopped carrying it and i couldn’t find it anywhere! i cannot believe that i randomly found it here and realized you could buy it online! this is such a great surprise. i am ordering today! i seriously always mention this pasta when we are in the food store haha yipppeeee! thanks julie.

    i wish i knew where everyone was finding all these great guys! i think i live in a part of the country where they are extinct 😉 there’s got to be one left who wants a nice, good girl!

    i have to say though, i just dated a guy who opened every door for me, car/building/etc, who wouldn’t let me lift a finger, who told all his fam/friends about me, but then turned out to be SUCH a jerkface. it’s like, some guys think that if they do those things, that alone makes them a good guy. but that’s just the surface!

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