PSA: We’re Not Perfect

First, thank you all so much for your congratulations on my seven-year dating anniversary with Ryan yesterday. Your kind words meant a lot and both Ryan and I were very touched!

And now I have a post with a bit of a different spin for you. I’ve actually been meaning to do this post for a while now, but I’ve put it off for whatever reason.

This post is intended to let you know that Ryan and I are not perfect. We’re a happy couple for sure (I wouldn’t marry someone who makes me unhappy!), but please don’t think that we whistle while we do the dishes together and sing sweet love songs to each other while skipping to the gym holding hands every morning. (Well, sometimes we do sing while we do the dishes, but the songs we sing would likely embarrass the pants off Ryan, so I won’t shareā€¦ šŸ˜‰ )

Please know that we’re a real couple. I blog about our life together, our shared and somewhat creepy love for Sadie, our random musings, date nights and our fun adventures together which are 100 percent factual, but amidst all of the fun and good times we’re bound to have disagreements.

I’m bound to get a little bitchy at times, just like he’s bound to act like a “poot.” (“Poot” is a word we snagged from the comedian Ron White. We use it to describe someone who’s being a real pain in the hiney.)

I felt the need to share this with you guys because I don’t want you to think that any relationship is perfect, let alone mine. I will say that my relationship is perfect for me and I truly believe with my whole heart that Ryan is the perfect guy for me, but I don’t want to paint a picture of this surreal couple when we’re really, really normal!

I try to keep my blog (and my life!) a very positive place. I don’t blog about how annoyed I was that Ryan left dishes in the dishwasher one night and I don’t blog about how I was being a total pain in the ass one day. It’s not something I want to dwell on (being happy is way more fun) and, truth be told, our disagreements would probably bore the heck out of you. Plus, they pass pretty quickly because we’re total sticklers for communication (your partner can’t fix the problem if they don’t know what’s wrong, after all!).

I’m not sure why I felt the need to share this other than the fact that I don’t want any of you over-examining your relationships if you’re truly happy because you see my relationship with Ryan on this blog and think that everywhere we walk flowers bloom and sun dances off our skin (like Edward Cullen). That being said, if you’re genuinely unhappy in your relationship, please know that there is someone out there who can make you feel incredibly loved and special. They just may forget to do the dishes from time to time. šŸ˜€

Question of the Afternoon

What is the silliest thing you’ve ever fought about with a significant other?

Comments

  1. says

    We really think alike! I’ve been thinking about posting something like this for a while, too. I always try to keep things positive, and will write about most of the positive things that Jay and I do together. But that’s not to say that my readers will know about the argument we got into one night, or an evening where I was being a total PITA. šŸ˜‰
    Great post…as usual! šŸ˜€

      (Quote)

    • says

      Funny that you said that, because I was actually thinking of doing a post on the same thing! I don’t want people to think my life is all fresh flowers and sweet nothings, because it’s not! Ryan and I are definitely human and have our moments, just like everyone else! (And so does the pup, Happy, ha!)

        (Quote)

  2. says

    Great post! So often, our blogs reflect our happy moments and I’m totally fine with that. I wrote a post last night about how crappy my day was. Then I deleted it instead of hitting publish. I hate being a Debbie Downer – it puts me further into a funk.

    As far as relationships go, you are right on the money. No relationship is perfect, but it should make you happy. I find it funny that he doesn’t unload the dishwasher, because my Fiance thinks the dishwasher is called the washing machine. Which tells you a lot about how much he uses it šŸ™‚

      (Quote)

  3. Lauren says

    Our last “fight” was who won a Disney Monopoly tournament! He had some crazy idea i was going bankrupt..when we all know i just needed a snack break. I mean, duh! šŸ™‚

      (Quote)

  4. Amy B says

    I really like this post. Honestly, I’m one of those who reads your blog and has had moments of jealousy of your “perfect” relationship and it’s nice to know that you’re normal like everyone else šŸ™‚ I’m in a great relationship, too, but there are certainly days where we annoy each other, so knowing even the most seemingly perfect relationships have those days too makes me feel so much better. Oh, and I LOVE your blog! Congrats on your 7 yr dating-iversary and your wonderful relationship.

      (Quote)

  5. Jessica says

    Oh my gosh – this has to be the silliest arguement of all time. It was a few days before Christmas this past year and I was STRESSED beyond stressed in the kitchen. I was playing Christmas music from our surround sound and baking. The house was a disaster and my baking wasn’t going well. Tyler (my absolutely incredible boyfriend) was sitting in the living room playing video games – which he does from time to time. He had just started playing so he was trying to get the surround sound to play Christmas music and his headset to play the horrendous sounds of him shooting people up in Call of Duty. They both ended up coming through the speakers at the same time and it must have been the straw that broke the camel’s back because that’s when I yelled from the kitchen … WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?! YOU’RE KILLING CHRISTMAS! bahahaha

      (Quote)

  6. says

    I recently faught with my Manfriend because he grew the UGLIEST mustache and would not shave it for soooo long. It was funny in the beginning but then it literally grossed me out. We totally got into a fight about it….haha. In the end, he shaved šŸ˜‰ Win! hahaha

      (Quote)

  7. Linda says

    That’s one of the reasons I like your blog. You’re pretty honest about who you and Ryan are.
    Once hubby and I fought cause he wouldn’t taste a candy I’d made. I was entering a candy competition and I wanted to see which one he thought was a winner. He didn’t like the idea of a chocolate covered fig and refused. We have since tried to compromise about the tasting of food.

      (Quote)

  8. mkr says

    SkinnyRunner posted a great post a few days ago about how blogs can often be like reality tv and readers get this glamorized perception of your life. Everyone argues, everyone has bad days. We can’t come to conclusions about people and their blogs based on these limited perceptions. Great post from you (as well as SR)!

      (Quote)

  9. Amber says

    Great post, Julie! I find the same to be true in real life, as well. I don’t want to focus on or rehash all of the minor problems/issues that arise in life and marriage, but at the same time, I don’t want to propagate the notion that marriage (or even life) is always fun and easy, and if yours isn’t, something must be wrong. Relationships require work and sacrifice, but there’s also plenty of fun!

      (Quote)

  10. Laura says

    couldn’t agree with you more šŸ™‚ I’m marrying my “perfect-for-me” guy this May! some of our silly disputes are also about the dishes, laundry — general household chores!

    PS – have been reading your blog since last year but recently saw you in the “Angelos”! too cool!

      (Quote)

  11. says

    I love this post. I think all relationships are different. They all have their ups and downs. No one is perfect but I agree with what you said, that your relationship is perfect for the two of you and you are perfect for each other. That is how I feel about mine too. šŸ™‚

    We had a stupid fight about how my boyfriend will always put his feet on our coffee table while watching tv! That annoys me so much. I’m afraid our table is going to crack in half one day! It is not a foot rest! So needless to say I got a little angry šŸ™‚ He doesn’t do it as often now. So I guess I won the argument šŸ™‚ Haha.

      (Quote)

  12. says

    Love this post!! Thinks it pretty much sums up that no relationship is perfect but it really is about being happy with one another!! The silliest thing I’ve ever ‘fought’ bout with my bf is who is going to hug who LOL!

      (Quote)

  13. Stephanie says

    HA! Love this. Though, I’m totally picturing you two skipping and singing while holding hands on the way to the gym. Awesome. =)

    Our friends think we have the perfect relationship too, and yet, I still snap at my husband at times, and it takes him 2 weeks to do things that I ask him to do somtimes. I feel like we have our “public” view and our “behind the scenes” view…and the BTS view stays behind closed doors…no need to air it for the public to judge.

      (Quote)

  14. says

    What a fantastic post! I LOVED how you stressed that your and Ryan’s relationship is perfect “for you” and that communication is key. It’s so true!

    I recently got engaged (NYE ’10) to my boyfriend of 3 years and 99% of our silly arguments are because we assumed something incorrectly. Our annoyance quickly dissipates once we each explain our feelings/thoughts at the time. At the same time, I doubt I’d ever find someone who laughs at my stupid made up rap songs before joining in the fun like Adam does.

    Our relationship? Is perfect. For us. And everyone deserves to find that happiness!!

      (Quote)

  15. says

    Wow, Julie… that post couldn’t have come at a better time. Are you spying on my life? šŸ™‚

    I’ve been struggling with keeping my blog a happy place while going through a breakup after two years… it’s hard to not even touch on something that is SUCH a consuming part of my life right now.

    It made me feel better to read this, and I’m going to continue to do the same as you… keep my blog a happy place.

    (..cause who wants to read about the rough stuff, anyway?)

      (Quote)

  16. Jess says

    Thanks for this post! Sometimes I do find myself comparing my relationship to those I see on blogs and I forget that even bloggers have bad days too! You do a great job keeping your blog an uplifting, positive place that always snaps me out of a funk (I’m sure those pictures of Sadie help a little too :))

      (Quote)

  17. says

    love the honesty!

    me and the BF just recently got in a little argument about how loud and hard he was laughing. Seriously! I was so mad.. I was also sleeping.. and woke up mad!! Soo silly!!

      (Quote)

  18. says

    I feel sometimes pressured to maintain a positive disposition on my blog. I definitely do not want to use my blog as a venting place because people read blogs to ESCAPE from the crap of the world. I admire how you are always positive!

      (Quote)

  19. Amanda says

    Thanks for sharing in this post! I definitely used to look at couples back in high school and think how perfect they looked. Once my boyfriend and I started dating and I started getting the “You guys are soo perfect” comments too, I realized how different things look on the surface! Unless it’s with close friends, I usually tell the adorable things my boyfriend does, not the fact that I end up doing his laundry AND putting it away because the build up annoys me so much!! Our fights are usually little spats because we live together and are such different people. I love him though! šŸ™‚

      (Quote)

  20. says

    Y’all are precious! I think communication is SO important and I contribute my fantastic relationship with Hubbs to the fact that we talk about everything… I’m not very good at keeping things bottled up inside and it works for us šŸ™‚

      (Quote)

  21. says

    Granted my silliest arguement was with a now EX boyfriend but we actually got into a HUGE fight on how to properly make brownies from a box mix. We also fought about how to boil water and cook noodles at one point in our relationship, too…needless to say it didn’t work out šŸ˜›

    My current boyfriend and I are more bicker-ers with little stuff but just recently we got into a fight because I didn’t tell our dog, Jack, to sit fast enough for his liking despite it was me holding the leash. I almost strangled him and I think he was close to strangling me but we both calmed down and got over it quickly šŸ˜› Looking back it was probably one of the dummest things we’ve gotten upset about with each other šŸ˜›

    Sara

      (Quote)

  22. says

    im so happy you did this post!! although i cannot relate.. im a little young for serious relationships!!.. i am sohappy you did post this because it seems you and ryan ARE perfect… !! thank you though for being so honest and open!

      (Quote)

  23. says

    I got really upset with james when he ate my pumpkin shaped reeses..they have the best chocolate to peanut butter ratio fyi. I had been saving it and then I caught him eating it!!! not cool. he knows better than to come between me and my peanut butter. šŸ™‚

      (Quote)

  24. says

    I LOVE that you posted this!! I sometimes feel that blogger’s personal relationships are perfect and fairy-tale like all the time, because no-one ever posts about their little issues! But its good to know that you guys are human too! šŸ˜›

      (Quote)

  25. says

    While we’re usually pretty good about perspective, my partner and I have had a few squabbles recently over his pee jar habit. At night, he goes to the bathroom in a jar rather then go outside (we’re not toilet flushers – eco-overload). I have no problem with this. However, when said jar sits in our room for five days without being emptied, I get a little irked šŸ™‚

      (Quote)

  26. says

    Oh goodness…we have fought about all sorts of silly things. I think the worst was when I was pregnant and craved McDonalds. He told me that he knew I would prefer eating something different and I got SO mad and said he was trying to make me feel guilty. I remember feeling especially ridiculous over that one. LOL

    And I think this was a great post to share.

      (Quote)

    • says

      i feel like the same thing happened to me! i told ryan “don’t let me eat dessert” one night on a cruise we were on b/c i ate so much that i literally felt sick and disgusting earlier that day. when it came time for dessert, ryan was like “you may not want to get that tonight. remember how you felt?” and i got PISSED! we’re complicated creatures, huh?

        (Quote)

      • Emily says

        My boyfriend and I did that too! Once I told him, “don’t let me have any more candy tonight or I’ll be sick” of course when I reached for the bag, he said something, and we had a huge argument…but I probably would have gotten mad if he DIDN’T say anything either…so weird!

        And THANK YOU for this post, as a reader, its hard not to compare my life to bloggers sometimes. It means a lot that you were willing to be open!

          (Quote)

  27. says

    This is so good that you shared this. I can see from other people’s blogs how they reference yours and Ryan’s relationshap as idyllic and while it does seem wonderful, it’s important to let the world know you have the same problems as every one else.

    I get upset about super silly stuff..like not shutting the tupper container completely on cookies so they become stale. Actually this seems like a perfectly sound complaint!

      (Quote)

  28. Whitney says

    Julie,
    I think you and Ryan make an awesome team! You show how much fun marriage is. It’s awesome being married to your best friend isn’t it?? šŸ™‚

    ohhhh boy- My husband and I hardly ever fight, usually just stupid bickering that lasts five minutes. BUT this one time, I was baking a strawberry cake for my mom’s b-day. It was two layers andddd I didn’t let the cake cool before I iced it…you can see where this is going.
    The top cake slid off and fell apart…my husband was watching the whole thing and LAUGHED. At that moment, I had a complete out-of-body experience. I yelled at him to stop laughing, picked up the entire cake and went pyscho – mushing, squishing, and tearing the whole thing apart until it was a pile of strawberry disaster.

    NO more two layer cake attempts at our house- but no more laughing from the hubby at my cooking either!! šŸ™‚

      (Quote)

  29. says

    Our “disagreements” are usually silly – though due to his work travel (about 80% of the time) we have some hard days…but I, too, try to keep it off the blog.

    Some silly disagreements: whether or not he ate the fruit I packed him for lunch….and the latest and greatest that usually happens once a month – how to load the dishwasher. There is a right way!!! hahaha.

      (Quote)

  30. says

    Ha, that’s easy. My blog! It was a real balance finding what amount of time was appropriate for me to be blogging when I first started. I got upset and it was totally silly! He is my husband and he deserves not only my full attention, but also the biggest portion of my time.

    Thanks for sharing about this on your blog. It was very well put and I agree entirely with keeping your blog a positive place. I think we all understand that your relationship isn’t perfect as no one’s is. But that doesn’t mean you guys still aren’t stinking cute, because you are!

      (Quote)

  31. Kaella says

    Someone asked me the other day what “drugs” my fiance and I do b/c it’s not possible to always be so happy. I’m serious!! (side not: I obviously don’t do drugs…I couldn’t believe it!) This post really hits home for me. Life isn’t perfect…relationships, especially, aren’t perfect. But I do believe that being happy and positive is the best way to live. Of course, I have bad days, my fiance and I don’t always agree, but I think it’s best to realize that there’s no point dwelling on the small things– I AM actually happy and positive most of the day, so I’m kinda happy that’s how it comes across (no matter how stupid her comment to me was!!) šŸ˜‰

    Silliest thing we’ve fought about? The lyrics to a song (I’m seriously horrible at remembering lyrics and I was tired of him always being right. I tried sooo hard to convince him I was right, until he pulled out his phone and google..LOL!) We still laugh about it every time we hear that song on the radio!! šŸ˜€

      (Quote)

  32. says

    Fab post! I feel the exact same way about my and my husband’s relationship–everyone see that awesomeness about our relationship and how much we love each other (which is very, very true), but we also disagree.

    The silliest thing we’ve ever disagreed about was which bread to buy at the store. I got all huffy and upset and he was sold on a certain kind I didn’t like. SO dumb! But we have since moved on and have a great relationship with each other and are super happy!! I am glad you both are happy as well (and normal too!) I could totally relate to this entire post- thank you šŸ™‚

      (Quote)

  33. says

    Oh my, my husband and I can find ourselves bickering about the most random unimportant things. We usually call eachother out on it and just end up laughing at how weird we are being bickering over something that we both don’t care about!

      (Quote)

  34. says

    Such a great post. I think this is so important to remember. Obviously in blogging, we try to share our positive moments, not our negatives. But of course, everyone has them. I think it is great the you recognized that your relationship (while it is great), definitely has it’s not-so-perfect moments. šŸ™‚ I think some people think that there is such thing, when in my opinion, I don’t think a “perfect” relationship exists. I think you said it best, “perfect for you”.

      (Quote)

  35. says

    Love this…and the big sister in me wants to give you a big hug for keeping it real. I think there’s a danger in people thinking that everything we do goes on our blogs, when really, it’s a synopsis of the good *and* the bad.

      (Quote)

  36. says

    Hi Julie!

    This was a really great post, and I totally understand about keeping the complaints out of your blog. Who wants to hear about little silly fights? Everyone has them. I would probably only bring it up if it was funny, cause yeah, no one likes a Debbie Downer šŸ™‚

    I don’t know about THE silliest thing my boyfriend and I have fought about, but yesterday we fought about him leaving A SPOON in the sink. So. Dumb. It’s funny the little things that get under your skin, especially when you live with someone!

      (Quote)

  37. rosie says

    i’m so glad you posted this, julie! i’m sure it means a lot to some of your other readers, too. although, i don’t really envy your relationship with ryan [even though i’m sure he’s AWESOME] – but sometimes reading your blog makes me miss orlando and my old life SO MUCH. reading this is a happy reminder that not being in orlando right now is what’s right for me. so thanks. šŸ™‚

      (Quote)

  38. Sarah Elizabeth says

    It’s great to hear that you and Ryan are a living breathing couple that argues from time to time like the rest of us! Sometimes I feel like my boyfriend and I are that couple that always seems happy, and I’ve even had people ask “do you ever fight?” I think the key to maintaining a positive relationship is openly communicating about issues that matter and being open to compromise. As for the random little stuff, sure I get frustrated when he leaves a wet towel on the floor after showering, and he gets frustrated when I rush him awake at 9:00 on a Saturday morning! But we recognize that those little things don’t really matter in the big scheme of things, so we don’t dwell on them.

    We often make jokes out of the little things that bother us about one another. Last weekend actually we were out at a friend’s house, and by the end of the night we both had a little bit too much to drink. So he was kind enough to persuade me to get up off the couch and onto the air mattress we brought (not an easy task!), and then I proceeded to curl up in a little ball. That would have been fine if we were able to spoon like that, but every time he tried, I would turn around to face him – still curled up in a little ball! It made sleeping that night rather problematic for him, but then the next morning we laughed about how sharing a bed with me after I’ve been drinking is like sharing a bed with a sea urchin! I then gave him a hard time for wanting to sleep until noon when I was awake at 9:00. By that time, we were laughing hysterically at how trivial and silly the whole situation was. It all evens out! =)

      (Quote)

  39. says

    I’m so glad you shed light on this, Julie! It’s important to showcase that nobody is perfect… we’re all human and have our faults/spats. I’d actually say a realtionship that didn’t have any fighting might be even unhealthy? I would see this as one of the partners keeping something inside/building up resentment…. Anywho, I am a firm believer in “communication is key!”

      (Quote)

  40. says

    Thank you for being honest and sharing this! I think it’s obvious you two are such a great couple but it would seem unreal if it was always only smiles! I agree about finding the perfect person for yourself, and how important communication is!

    One of the silliest things I have ever fought about with my boyfriend at the time was about toothpaste. I had had a really rough day at work and that night he went to use my toothpaste (the same kind I always buy because my Mom was allergic to spearmint growing up) so we always got cinnamon flavored Close-Up. A lot of people don’t like the cinnamon. He had had a bad day at work too and when he started to brush his teeth he immediately grunted and said how much he hated this toothpaste. I took it SO personally. You’d think he said he hated my face I got so upset. We fought for a few minutes before we both started laughing because we were fighting over toothpaste. Then I pulled out my travel tube of colgate for him and it was all better šŸ™‚

      (Quote)

  41. says

    My fight wasn’t really a fight, but it’s worth a giggle maybe: While on hormones for fertility treatment recently, I looked at my husband asked that he leave our hotel room because his mere presence was bothering me. (I may not have said it so nicely.) After a few seconds, we both just started to laugh at how INSANE I sounded. It was really nice that we could both see the silliness in that and not allow it to turn into a major argument. *I also have to remind people that my marriage isn’t perfect (I think it seems that way), but we’re perfect for each other. Turthfully, no one else would be able to handle either of us. ;)*

      (Quote)

  42. says

    Haha, you make me laugh.

    Honestly, I could not even tell you what our biggest fights have been about. They usually start over something small and silly and escalate because we both happen to be in a bad mood or because one of us is secretly mad about something else, which goes to the point you make about communication. It’s sooo true! It’s like that saying “You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.” It’s so much better if I tell Ryan (my guy is a Ryan too) what is bothering me right away in a normal big girl voice, than if I hold it in and end up flipping out and verbally karate chopping his ass.

      (Quote)

  43. says

    Julie, I only discovered your blog a few months ago, but I find I can totally relate to you. I do think you make an important point though — it’s easy for outsiders reading your or any blog to have misconceptions that the person’s life is perfectly wonderful in every way because they eat right, go to the gym every day, and have a caring significant other. It’s only natural that bloggers would write about the good in their lives — as you point out, why would you want to dwell on the dumb annoyances of the day? Life is way more fun when you focus on the good. Thanks for this post though — it’s an important reminder for anyone who reads blogs that no one’s life is perfect! šŸ™‚

      (Quote)

  44. Kristina says

    LOVE this post! My boyfriend and I really only fight over little things that mean nothing. Then we both realize after an hour of pouting in separate rooms and avoiding eye contact at all times no matter the circumstances that its not worth it, and then usually end up having a dance party on the couch shortly after. I realized young that being a gigantic hag your whole life over trivial things is a waste of time, and time that could be spent doing something positive with someone who shares that belief as well!

      (Quote)

  45. Lauren says

    Communication is key! We don’t fight too much because I’m so bad at fighting, and I’d rather talk things out. I love that we can joke around about things that may bother us a little but not to the extent to fight about.

      (Quote)

  46. Jena says

    Whew! Thank goodness y’all are not perfect šŸ˜‰ Though, I think you do make a lovely couple! & Sadie is quite adorable! I think it’s important that we don’t air our dirty laundry all over the internet. I mean honestly, my Mom reads my blog and I don’t need her knowing every time Chris & I argue. I’d have a million voicemails from her making sure everything is alright. Plus, who wants to read about how mad I got that Chris laid in bed while I folded 3 baskets of laundry (true story, lolz).. that’s boring and stupid.

    I love your positivity, it’s contagious!

      (Quote)

  47. Pixie says

    Whether or not Groupon makes sense from a business perspective. It’s like 7 am on a work day and I am telling J. that the nail salon I go to said she won’t participate in groupon for a variety of reasons. J. decides to come up with a hypothetical situation about why it could possibly make sense, which annoys me to no end. Finally after 30 minutes, including him following me into the bathroom as I showered, I finally said why are we arguing about a hypothetical. I am merely telling you what the lady who owns the nail salon said, let’s stop arguing.

    As you can tell we obviously have alot of time on our hands.

      (Quote)

  48. Katie says

    Love this post, Julie! Thanks for both your honesty AND your cheerfulness on the blog- it really is uplifting!

    I get really snappy when I’m hungry, so when I’m acting up, the first thing my husband asks is if I need something to eat. Then, when we were home recently, my mom mentioned to him that when I was a baby and got overstimulated by the lights/sounds/etc. wherever we were, she’d put my blanket over my head and I’d instantly calm down and usually fall asleep. Recently, I was being a biatch (for no good reason!) and DH asked if I was hungry. I snapped that I wasn’t, so he calmly took our throw blanket off the sofa and put it over my head. I was totally stunned into silence, then burst out laughing when he told me the story about his convo with my mom. No matter what, I love my husband for his patience with me and willingness to try anything to tame the moody beast :0

      (Quote)

  49. Caree@Fit-Mama says

    Great post! And so true that relationships aren’t perfect!! But you have to be with the right person for you to make it work.

    My hubby and I believe that communication is a huge deal. He has made me better at it (like Ryan has you).. After silly fights, we forget about it so quickly and he is great at making me laugh, even during a fight.

      (Quote)

  50. says

    Love this post! We are about to celebrate our 3 year wedding anniversary anniversary next week!! But have know eachother for 8 years. Crazy how fast time goes by.. but one thing that is the dumbest thing ever is that my husband cannot take a shirt off without leaving it inside out.. so everytime I do laundry I have to switch it back.. which can be a Pain in the rear, when you have a ton of laundry done.. so now I just hang up his shirts inside out. .;)

      (Quote)

  51. Amy says

    My husband and I “argue” over switching sides of the bed. I have “my” side and don’t want to switch(for no good reason at all) either way one night he wanted me to face the opposite way in bed and I said no and he was like fine i’ll go sleep in the other room…totally ridiculous but i still love him. and we may or may not have arguments over who loves each other more (when we are not arguing over switching sides of the bed!)

    great post Julie!

      (Quote)

  52. anon says

    I’m not in a relationship & never have been so i cant join the discussion but i just found that song sooooooooo funny hahaha. it would be wicked to sing it so i can imagine Ryan singing it hahaha

      (Quote)

  53. says

    Love you even more for this post šŸ™‚ I feel the same way, every day isn’t sunshine & roses (damnit why does he leave his underwear on the floor EVERY MORNING…!! šŸ™‚ ) but it’s about compromise and lovin’ the one you’re with!
    xoxo
    s

      (Quote)

  54. says

    Oh I have a good one! Last year at the grocery store, I asked Evan (my husband) what kind of apples he wanted. He said he “didn’t care,” which led me to believe that he was apathetic toward the food we were eating. He is just so go-with-the-flow and honestly didn’t care, but I felt like he wasn’t stating his real opinion. It was so darn ridiculous!

      (Quote)

  55. says

    I LOVE this post. I have always (since I began reading) admired your positivity, and now I also really admire your honesty.

    I can’t remember the last stupid fight my boyfriend and I had. Except that time we were watching “Say Yes to the Dress,” and he liked one dress whereas I liked a different dress. OMG I was convinced our future was doomed. He will hate my wedding dress and why even bother getting married if your husband doesn’t like your gown?!

      (Quote)

  56. janet zhwaitz says

    Our kitchen is open concept to family room and if I pop up to do something
    In the kitchen he FOLLOWS ME there while I stir or do whatever…
    We are still in sight of each other but he follows me…the dogs don’t.
    It make me nutty as he gets in the way (and usually grabs my butt
    Or boobs while in kitchen … It’s like I am his merchandise and he owns me!)

    My friends say I’m nuts to compalin about this but I need my space…
    And have the oven rack burns on my arms to show how often he’s
    Behind me and knocks me half over!

      (Quote)

  57. Michelle @ Give Me the Almond Butter says

    I think this post is so great to bring attention to. I sometimes have little disagreements about how someone takes something. Like overreacting, but sometimes its just a bit more communication and things turn out okay šŸ™‚

      (Quote)

  58. says

    The funniest disagreement I’ve had with my fiance was which ride to go on at Disneyland. It was just a long day and the most little things and insignificant decisions blow up. It’s funny looking back at it now, but my god…..if we can only listen to that arguement now, we would laugh our a$$ off.

    So funny!

      (Quote)

  59. says

    I can win this award – crimping! As in hair crimping.

    One day (when we first started dating years ago) we saw a commercial for a hair crimper and I mentioned how much I’d like to own one. Adam told me crimped hair was ugly. Somehow from there it devolved into me storming out of the house saying Ididn’t want to be with him if he wouldn’t let me crimp my hair.

    Now we’ve been married 3 years and he could care less what I do with my hair. I’ve never crimped my hair.

    šŸ˜€

      (Quote)

  60. SaraRM says

    Its funny bc it seems like our “fights” (we dont even fight, I bitch and hus just takes it, which annoys me even more :)) are always over silly things. But its bc I let small things go with out saying anything and then it builds up and i release it when its over something that doesnt even bother me. Lesson learned, if something bother you its better to get it out and not bottle it all in.

      (Quote)

    • Katie says

      Haha, my husband and I are the same way! Our “fights” are totally one-sided. We joke that he just witness me arguing with myself. He’s a great listener, so he listens to me whine and then finds something to fix the problem or cheer me up.

        (Quote)

  61. says

    OUr first real fight as a married couple was after a trip to dairy queen. They messed up his order, even though the server asked him if that was really what he wanted and he said “Yes, it was’ and I was thinking ‘weird, you never get that’ Walks out the door of DQ takes a bite of his blizzard and instantly makes yuck mouth. I tell him I thought it was odd he ordered what he did and that he then confirmed it to the server. He then told me he couldn’t understand the server and that I should of corrected them. lol. Needless to say, we didn’t talk for a good 24 hours but almost 15 years later, we still laugh about that story.

      (Quote)

  62. says

    This is so sweet..I love your realness and honesty! I am truly so happy to have found a boyfriend that treats me so well. Some have joked to me that I love my boyfriend so much because I found myself a “good southern boy, because they love their women more than they love themselves”. (I recently moved to VA from NJ.)

    He makes me feel like a million bucks.. and the things we argue about are similar. Leaving doors open, dishes.. I figure if these are the biggest of our problems, there’s no need to fret :D. Also as you said, COMMUNICATION IS KEY. Talk it out!

      (Quote)

  63. Julia says

    I recently got into a fight with my boyfriend of five years over whose dish washing technique was “the right way.” Needless to say, we both felt like idiots after it was over.

      (Quote)

  64. says

    Everything my boyfriend and I fight about is silly! We can somehow handle the real thing but we can get into a huge fight about how I’m afraid to rollerblade and I’m a quitter…which ends in me being a crying mess. I guess that might be a blessing though and I’m not sure if I ever commented and said you were perfect, if I did I meant perfect as in perfect for each other or adorable. I have no illusions about perfection=)

      (Quote)

  65. says

    I think to be perfect, you need to have disagreements and fights. Like the whole “you can’t have good without evil” thing. Every couple’s bound to fight…but it’s whether or not you let those fights bring you down is what matters. Plus, they make you so much stronger afterward!

      (Quote)

  66. says

    I’m glad you blogged about this. šŸ™‚ Sometimes people ask me how my bf and I maintain such a “perfect” relationship. The assume that because both of us are pretty happy, laid back people, we don’t disagree or argue. That’s NOT true! I think our disagreements make us stronger as a couple because every disagreement is an opportunity to learn about one another and yourself.

    Our silliest arguments usually center around the way he does the dishes and how particular I can be about cleaning. We all have our quirks!!! šŸ™‚

      (Quote)

  67. says

    thank you for being honest, keeping it real and balance what real life is vs/ what ppl want to read/hear about (no one wants to hear day in, day out how miserable someone’s marriage or life is) but on the other hand, we all have our off days and arguments and tiffs and spats. That’s marriage.

    I am at the 10 year mark. I have had PLENTY of silly arguments. Usually at 3am after drinking has been involved šŸ™‚

      (Quote)

  68. Brittany says

    Love this post, Julie! You two are clearly perfect for each other!

    I’m sure there have been many stupid arguments over the past 8 years I have spent with my husband, but the stupidest, most recent one that comes to mind happened last year a couple months after our wedding. I was putting my stuff together for a marathon I was running the next day, and my husband was asking where I wanted to go for dinner. I said I didn’t care, assuming he knew from my past marathons that I would want to go to an Italian restaurant to carb load. I got SO, SO, SO mad when he suggested his favorite burger place (that I happen to dislike). It spun from a simple question into me throwing an absolute tantrum (hysterically sobbing and packing my bags to leave?!) about the fact that he doesn’t support me and doesn’t respect the amount of effort I put into training and into staying in shape. It took hours for him to convince me that his restaurant suggestion was a simple oversight. I’m lucky he loves me, wild irrationality and all šŸ™‚

      (Quote)

  69. Laura@ Backstage Pass says

    Julie – what a refreshing and honest stance / post! Thank you for this, seriously. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 6.5 years, and while we’re very happy together, we’ve both worked hard to keep it that way. Relationships are work, even after several years together. People grow and change as individuals, and that’s not to say you can’t grow and change and still be happy as a couple. It’s so important for young women and men to realize that healthy, happy relationships thrive from good communication.
    The silliest thing we’ve ever argued about? He was crabby for an entire vacation because he started off on an early AM plane ride without visiting the bathroom before we boarded. Let me tell you, a three hour flight with a grown man that has to go potty, but won’t until after the flight lands is no fun whatsoever! He was totally crabby for the duration of the flight, which set the tone for his attitude for the entire weekend-long vacation.

      (Quote)

  70. says

    So I just had to leave a comment on this because last night I was all pissed off that my boyfriend hadn’t called/texted me all day because he was busy at work. I went out with a few girlfriends, then got home, debated starting a tiff via drunk text, but decided to lay off for a few minutes while I ate granola and read blogs. And it’s like this post was the good angel on my shoulder, because I realized that it wasn’t worth starting a drunk argument over. So thank you- there’s one stupid fight averted šŸ™‚

      (Quote)

  71. says

    This was a great post! Sometimes I feel like bloggers edit themselves so much that it makes them seem unreal. But you have always seemed very honest!

    My husband and I usually argue over the same things: him sitting down after work and pulling off his socks right there. Then I find these piles of socks after a few days. I just wish he would put them into the washer! lol

    We have a misunderstanding argument more often than I care to admit, in fact, we had one just this morning! I thanked him for turning on my computer for me and he flipped out! “Fine, then I’ll never do it again! I just knew you would be up soon!” Um, dude, I said THANK YOU. Then he felt sooo bad.

      (Quote)

  72. Alexandrina @ The Cardio Queen says

    Completely agree with communicating!! It’s definitely a must and just makes everything so much better once you let them know what you’re feeling because as cool as it’d be, no one is a mind reader; you need to just let them know what’s going on. Great post!

    It’s not super silly, but I may have some trust issues and though my current bf is awesome (!), I still can’t get passed the fact that I feel like I should be cautious about everyone since I’ve been burned in the past (cheated on, sucks!). But yeah, I always question where he’s going and I really don’t like that because I want him to be able to go out with his friends and have a good time!

      (Quote)

  73. Katie says

    Great post! One time my boyfriend and I had a legit argument over how much money we think a scientist gets paid. The argument didn’t last long and we laughed about it afterwards. I’m also a PITA when it comes to how neat things are in our place. One day he made the bed wrong and I fixed it the way I like it (I felt bad afterwards, because at least he made it!). We try to make fun of those things and rarely ever stay mad at each other for long.

      (Quote)

  74. says

    Myspace was the stupidest thing I’ve ever fought with a boyfriend over… He was annoyed that I was commenting on a former boyfriend’s page (I’d made some snarky comment about a football team the guy liked, I think) and he (the more recent ex) got really mad… I don’t remember most of what was said (because it was SO stupid), but I do remember saying, “Fine. Call me when you grow the f*ck up,” and hung up the phone on him. It was a long-distance relationship, so things were already a little tricky, but yeah… TOTALLY dumb, right?

      (Quote)

  75. Liz says

    First off I have to say how much my husband and I just love, love, love Ron White! He is so funny!!
    Not long after Brian and I were married he came home from lunch and I was on my way out the door to run some errands. I hadn’t the time to wash the dishes and planned on doing them when I got home. Brian began washing them and I told him to leave them and I would take care of it when I returned but he insisted that it would just take him a minute. I got so mad that I stormed to our bedroom and slammed the door. He came back to see what was up and I was so mad because I said that I was home for the summer and he worked and shouldn’t have to wash dishes on his lunch break! Why couldn’t he just leave them for me to do when I got back?!?!
    Yes, I was mad, slammed the door, and yelled because my husband was doing the dishes. I’m a freak!

      (Quote)

  76. Andrew says

    Wow, I don’t know where to begin in thanking you for writing this post. However, when Chantal was so touched by it that she had to share it with me, I knew I had to try.

    You and I have both been in the same position. When one is happy in their relationship they want to both share it with the world and to have everyone be as happy as they are. The sad part of that is that when other people see how happy you are for some people it takes away from their belief in the possibility of their own happiness. It appears to them like it’s magic or a divine blessing that was bestowed on you, but not on them.

    This has been a concern of mine for years. When people see Chantal and I being loving and affectionate to each other, living in our own private perfect little world, some of them smile warmly, sharing in our joy. Some others however would scowl or look away pained. I would always be concerned about those people, about what they saw and what they felt.

    A happy, loving relationship is magic and it is a blessing, but it comes to those who believe that they are going to receive it and are willing to never give up on getting it. Your own relationship *is* perfect. It’s perfect because you make the choices every day to make it perfect and to keep it perfect.

    I guess what I’m saying is that for years everyone that Chantal and I have known has told us that they look to us as their example of an ideal couple or their perfect relationship. While I was always touched by that because I thought the same thing about us, it always made me feel a little guilty or dishonest. I knew the work that both of us do to take care of each other and each others needs. I knew of all the little times and big times that it worked less than perfectly. I also wanted everyone to just use us as a “proof of concept” that if this exists for us, then it means that it can exist for them. That they should take that positivity and joy that they feel in seeing us together and us it go out and find that for themselves as well.

    So thank you, thank you for saying what I would have wanted to say myself and what I would have wanted everyone to read.

      (Quote)

  77. says

    I’m going to make my husband read this so he knows I’m not the only wife in the world that would like their husband to put their dishes away from time to time. Just kidding. But we have came a long way with “some people” needing to pick up more after “themselves”. Thanks for being real with your readers. It’s difficult to know what to share sometimes and what to keep to yourself. I can totally relate.

      (Quote)

  78. says

    Great post! I completely relate! My boyfriend and I have been together 5 years and people just assume things are perfect (or worse try to paint us as the couple they want to be). And they are … almost. But we are also not always singing while doing our dishes. And, may have to nag more than I want to get the bathroom cleaned. But, at the end f the day, he is perfect for me and a perfect match!

      (Quote)

  79. says

    late to the party here, but glad i saw this. props on posting this.. so true! i dont type about my arguments with marshall because, well, no reason to dwell on the past. but those arguments are for sure there! i just love you.

      (Quote)

  80. says

    Again – awesome post. I’m going to have to say that the silliest fights are usually those about dishes, chores or even just being grumpy all together. My boyfriend and I don’t really fight but we have days that you can tell patience has worn thin on either side with small things. For the most part we are very good at reading each other and communicating. I find making a slight joke about things gets the point across better than nagging. “Wow, your underwear sure does look great sitting there on the bathroom floor but you know where it would look even better?” then we laugh and go about our day. You hit the nail on the head with communication and that there is someone right out there for everyone.

    Keep up the great work!

      (Quote)

  81. says

    Julie, I just love your honesty in this post! My husband and I are soul mates and have been married for 23 years and going strong, so I can relate to what you are saying here and with that being said….it only gets better! Thank you for sharing…it is amazing!!! Hugs!

      (Quote)

  82. Michele says

    I just recently found your blog, and I have to admit, I’ve spent WAY too much time the last few days pouring over your previous entries- especially the ones about you and Ryan. I was JUST thinking “wow, my boyfriend is going to be sorry I’m reading this, because he officially has a new standard to uphold” when I stumbled upon this entry šŸ™‚ I love the idea of date nights, and your proposal story definitely made me cry! Y’all really DO seem “perfect for each other.” And while I’m sure neither one of you are “perfect” in real life… I think as far as couples go, you’re in a category that few people reach.

    I’m (mostly) kidding about holding my guy to your standards… but at the same time, I think you and Ryan are pretty legit role models as far as couples go. And the world needs more of that!

      (Quote)

  83. says

    Julie, I can;t say enough how much I like to read your blog. I enjoy the variety and the way you write is awesome. It’s so descriptive and personal. I just wanted to give you that compliment! And I love how you and Ryan share the same loves for fitness, Sadie, and everything. It makes me think of my boyfriend and I hope we will be that way for a long time yet! Happy holidays!

      (Quote)

  84. Devin says

    Hi Julie! I absolutely LOVE your blog! You have really inspired me to really stick to my goal of making my own blog by September! I love your positive attitude, your way to make life fun, and your ways of balancing your life.
    Regarding this post… I was wondering how you handle your “me time,” Ryan’s guy time or me time, and/or girls nights? Thanks! (:

      (Quote)

Trackbacks

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *