Surviving a Long Distance Relationship

Get ready for a LONG post about long distance relationships. (How fitting, right? ;) )

Before we dive right into the nitty gritty, we must properly fuel ourselves with lunch!

Wednesday Lunch

On the menu for today was a leftover sloppy joe sandwich paired with grape tomatoes and Greek yogurt with honey.

"Have Some More Slooooppy Joes! I Made 'Em Extra Sloppy For Ya!"

I also sipped on a tumbler full of Starucks VIA mocha-flavored coffee, which was only okay. I nabbed the packet from my parents’ pantry when I was home over the weekend, and must say I was a bit disappointed with the overall taste.

Viva la VIA

I think I was hoping for hot chocolate with a touch of coffee flavor, and unfortunately the chocolate flavor wasn’t very strong. Oddly enough, I liked it more as I continued to drink it. Maybe I just had to overcome the initial coffee shock?

Surviving a Long Distance Relationship

After seeing how many of you guys are currently in a long distance relationship when I mentioned ‘em last Wednesday, I knew I had to dedicate an entire blog post to surviving a long distance relationship (LDR).

I found myself in a long distance relationship with my long-term high school boyfriend at  the beginning of college (we dated for 3+ years) and I know how hard it can be to go without seeing someone you love very much.

Though my LDR obviously didn’t work out (hello, Ryan! :D ), I do think that if two people are committed to making the relationship work and pour their hearts into it, a long distance relationship can thrive and be totally worth the heartache.

You guys had a ton of wonderful words of advice  ranging from the practical to the just plain adorable. Below is a summary of your most common words of wisdom. For additional advice, definitely check out the comments section of this post.

  • Utilize Skype to Video Chat and See Each Other Face-to-Face. Amanda and Melissa even planned Skype dates! Melissa said that she and her boyfriend would “pick out a recipe, buy the ingredients and then Skype while we cooked together. Then we could eat the same dinner and chat. Sometimes we would watch the same show or movie afterward, too.”
  • Create Habits Together. Create rituals and habits that you both do for each other every day, even if it’s simply calling each other when you first wake up or sending a lunchtime email to say “I love you.” Setting your alarm to the same alarm ringer may also remind you of each other. Blog reader Megan and her boyfriend even had their own book club!
  • Send Letters and Small Packages. There’s something so exciting about receiving a package from anyone, let alone a significant other. Sending packages to each other keeps you thinking about what the other person might like and helps them feel cared for and appreciated. Include their favorite baked cookies, a gift card to Starbucks, a picture of the two of you or silly items from the dollar store. My ex-boyfriend would spray his letters to me with his cologne, which I thought was really neat because smelling his smell made it feel like he was that much closer.
  • If Possible, Always Have a Trip on the Horizon. Knowing when you’ll see each other next allows you to have a countdown and an “end date” in sight which can make the time apart seem much more bearable.

Exploring Key West

  • Communicate. This is a BIG one. As if communicating in person isn’t hard enough, communicating over the phone can be trickier since your significant other can’t read your body language or see your facial expressions. Make sure to verbally express how you’re feeling, especially when an issue starts to arise. As blog reader Katie said, “Say how much you love each other often.” Also, when you’re on the phone, be on the phone. As Sarah said, “Don’t sit and play on Facebook or scan blogs when you’re on the phone with the other person.” It’s so obvious when someone isn’t giving you their full attention and that can be very hurtful.
  • Trust Each Other. Enough said.
  • Make the Reunion Special. Blog reader Sara says, “My biggest tip is to make the reunion special. My boyfriend always did something special… picking me up at the airport with flowers, stocking the fridge with my favorite foods, picking up a bottle of my favorite wine… anything to make our time together special. “
  • Stay Involved in Each Other’s Lives. It’s important to care about what’s going on in your loved one’s life when you’re not there. Sable says, “Know who their friends are, what they’re up to, how their hobbies are shifting, their goals, etc.”
  • Have Your Own Life. Just because your loved one isn’t there doesn’t mean you can’t have fun. Use the time to yourself to really enjoy your friends and immerse yourself in your favorite activities and hobbies.

  • Set Expectations and Discuss the Future. Bethany says, “Set expectations. You should know how often you plan to see each other and how often/how long you’re going to talk over the phone/Skype. ” She also advises couples to talk about the future, saying, “A long distance relationship can’t go on forever. At some point, someone is going to have to move which can have a huge impact on other areas of your life such as your work and family.”
  • Don’t Put Pressure On Your Time Together. Try not to feel like everything needs to be totally perfect when you’re finally together again. Blog reader Casey says, “If you get all angsty about those weekends being perfect, then something is bound to go wrong and leave you feeling stressed and let down. There will be more times – just enjoy each for what it is and keep reasonable expectations!”
  • Send Texts and Picture Texts. Many people said that picture texts really help make them feel closer to their significant other. Seeing the face of your loved one when you’re really missing them can help brighten your day a bit.
  • Hide Surprises Before You Leave. Marisa says to leave little things to help your loved one remember you behind before you go. “I would leave little touches around his house before I left. Such as leaving a note in the bathroom drawer and a piece of jewelry on his nightstand. I know he loved it because he keeps a stash of my little notes to this day.”
  • Become Friends with Their Friends When You’re in Town. Blog reader Jordan says to get to know your partner’s friends. Though you may be tempted to live in a couple bubble when you’re together, make it a point to at least meet your loved one’s friends so you can get to know the people they really care about and they can get to know what an awesome person you are as well.

P.S. The Fashion page was updated this afternoon!

Comments

  1. says

    My current husband and I were in a LDR for three years while he was in law school in Virginia Beach and I was living in D.C. We saw each other almost every weekend since we only were three-and-a-half hours away from each other, but it definitely was a change. We had been together for just under two years while attending FSU before we both moved up north, and I think living in two different cities actually helped our relationship. We realized how much we wanted to be together and how much we valued each other. That won’t happen for everyone, but it did for us. We definitely had our ups and downs throughout the three years we were apart (we actually planned our wedding during this time, too!), but it all worked out in the end. :)

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  2. Amy at the scene from me says

    Kohl’s has round toe nude pumps that aren’t sky high right now and they are so comfortable!!!

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  3. Ashley says

    Billy Madison quote looove…haha.

    Thank you for this post! I read every bit of it and loved it…I also sent it to my BF (we are 6 hours apart) because sometimes I find it hard to let him know what I need from him, so thanks for getting some of my points across! :-)

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  6. says

    Exceptional post but I was wondering if you could write a litte more on this topic?
    I’d be very thankful if you could elaborate a little bit further. Thanks!

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  7. Emma says

    this is probably one of my favorite posts on your blog. so inspiring! ive been in an LDR for 2 1/2 years now, 16 hours apart! but an end is in sight!! finally…

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