Ideal Engagement Length
This afternoon I had lunch plans with my friend Laurel! She got engaged on Saturday night and even though I saw her on Sunday morning, I was more than excited for our lunch date today to hear all about her wedding day ideas and plans.
Once I picked her up, we headed out for a yummy lunch of fresh salads.
Why do salads taste so much better when someone else makes them for me?
My salad was very flavorful and perfectly fresh. A definite winner!
Laurel and I finished our meals quickly but kept talking until she had to go back to work. She already has a potential date in mind for her big day and it’s sooner than she initially thought it would be, which is very exciting! I can’t wait to be there as everything unfolds.
As the friend of a bride, I love short engagements! I get so excited for all of the wedding fun to start and want it all to happen now.
According to this article, the average American engagement is 14 months. Ryan and I were engaged for 13 months, but we both said we felt like you don’t need that much time as long as you can find a venue in a shorter amount of time. Once the place for the ceremony and reception is lined up, finding other vendors, flowers, a dress, etc. all seem to come together pretty fast (though it did take me a million different tries to find my dress). I honestly felt like Ryan and didn’t do anything for a good four to five months in the middle of our engagement other than wait.
Questions of the Afternoon
- What do you think is the ideal length of an engagement?
- How long were you engaged/ How long would you like to be engaged?
Filed under: Lunch
I was engaged for 13 months as well — 9 months was required by our church. We didn’t do months as well… especially since I lived in hawaii during 2.5 of those months
Katie @ Healthy Heddleston
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That’s an interesting question! I think 13/14 is good— some waiting is nice! But I also understand why some couples have longer engagements with little planning going on for a while. I think I’d like to be engaged for a bit over a year to keep it relaxed but fun!
Jess@atasteofconfidence
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I would like to be engaged at least a year. I think it gives enough time for planning and enjoying that time together. It is hopefully the only time you will have that period with anyone, ever.
Shari @ Chicago Cuisine Critique
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The ideal engagement length? No clue. Jason and I were engaged for 5 months — it was enough time for us to plan our small ceremony and I remember feeling like we were waiting too long!
Holly @ The Runny Egg
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I think the ideal length for an engagement depends on how long you’ve been dating each other. 9 months – a year sounds about right to me if you’ve been with your fiance for at least a full year prior to the engagement. Everyone’s different though!
Tessa
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I like this question.
I’ve been engaged since the end of March (roughly 3 months). We are planning on getting married in August of 2012. So we are almost about a month away. We are still in the process of finding a venue. 
Hope
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Hope Reply:
July 6th, 2011 at 2:27 pm
*not a month away, I mean a year away! Haha.
Hope
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peanutbutterfingers Reply:
July 6th, 2011 at 2:31 pm
congrats on your upcoming wedding, hope!
peanutbutterfingers
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Hope Reply:
July 6th, 2011 at 5:08 pm
Thank you, Julie!
Hope
Shannon Reply:
July 6th, 2011 at 4:06 pm
That is almost EXACTLY what I’m doing too
We got engaged in April and will be married August 11, 2012. We just found a venue and booked it and are not planning on doing anything else until this fall. I think that it will be nice to relax for a bit. I tend to get stressed out about planning events 
Congrats on your upcoming wedding 
Shannon
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Hope Reply:
July 6th, 2011 at 5:09 pm
Thank you! You too!!
Hope
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Daniella @Runner at Heart Reply:
July 6th, 2011 at 9:30 pm
I am getting married that same day.
Daniella @Runner at Heart
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I was engaged for just under 13 months and that was plenty of time.
I think I could have done it in 6 months, but perhaps 9 months is ideal.
Shanna, Like Banana
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I think that the ideal length is anywhere from 10-14 months. We were engaged for 12 months, and it gave us plenty of time to figure everything out, including lots of DIY and personal touches. There were a few wrenches thrown in our plans during that time (venue closed/new owners, we moved to another state) but since we had a year to plan, we had the time to fix everything and make it the perfect day.
I’ve known people who have had 5 month engagements and their events turned out perfectly. I suppose it all depends on how good of a planner you are and if you are willing to ask for help when you need it (I was not…hence the nice long engagement!).
Miranda
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I think the ideal engagement should be around a year, if not a few months less. I know a couple who were engaged for almost 2 years before finally tying the knot. Wayyyy too long if you ask me!
The Teenage Taste
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I am currently engaged. Our engagement will last 14 months and I agree it feels long. We have a lot of things already lined up so now we are just waiting.
Sarah @ goingongoals
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14 months seems like a solid engagement time to me. I know nothing about how long it takes to plan a wedding so I feel like I’ll need as much time as possible!
Sarah
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hmmm interesting question! My brother and his fiance would probably get married tomorrow if they could, but their venue was booked for 18 months, so they’re in for the long haul. I think they wish the engagement was a bit shorter.
Now, for ME, I’m aiming for a short engagement. The goal of meeting someone by 25 has come and gone. In three weeks, I’ll be 28. I am certainly not gettin’ any younger. So, I’d be just fine with 9-12 months for an engagement. Now, all I need is the groom-to-be
Jamie aka “Sometimes Healthy” Girl
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I don’t plan to get married, so it’s hard to say, but when my brother told me that he was engaged, I told him to get on a plane to the Caribbean the next day and elope so that he wouldn’t have to deal with family meddling in wedding planning.
Victoria (District Chocoholic)
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I’ve always had the thought in my head that you should date for at least a year before becoming engaged, be engaged for at least a year before getting married, and be married for at least a year (preferably around the 3-5 mark) before having children. A college professor confirmed this for me a few years ago.
She mentioned that people change with the seasons and with their circumstances. Being engaged in a relationship creates a different dynamic than being in a committed relationship; and as the year goes by their attitude will change. So hopefully by the time you’ve married, you’ve experience enough of that person to continue the relationship with a happy married life!
Jenny
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peanutbutterfingers Reply:
July 6th, 2011 at 2:33 pm
i had a child development teacher in high school say couples should date for at least 3 yrs. before getting engaged! so interesting to hear different perspectives!
peanutbutterfingers
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Katie Reply:
July 6th, 2011 at 2:50 pm
I totally agree with this! Of course if it’s not possible for whatever reason, it’s not possible, but I believe it’s important to get to know your spouse through and through before having kids. As your relationship naturally develops over time, it needs attention to get into its long-term happy place so that you can provide the best example of marriage to your kids. Plus, there are all kinds of crazy-in-love chemicals your brain produces during the first 2-3 years of a relationship, so it helps to make sure that a true connection is still there once the dopamine wears off
Katie
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Courtney @ Girl In The Pink Reply:
July 6th, 2011 at 4:03 pm
I agree! You need to get through the “honeymoon” phase before getting engaged! My husband and I dated for four years and were engaged for 9 months! We were young and in school when we met so I felt like 4 hrs of dating was a good length for us!
Courtney @ Girl In The Pink
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Lea @ healthy coconut Reply:
July 6th, 2011 at 7:47 pm
I love this comment and the reasoning behind the timeline.
I got engaged a year after we dated. I got married a year after we got engaged. The timeline was not on purpose but each step happened when it felt right.
Lea @ healthy coconut
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13 months for me! and that was more than enough time to accomplish everything! however, i did like having enough time for the many showers and parties we were graciously given
Lindsay
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We were engaged for 15 months, however I think that was mostly due to the timing of everything. We were engaged in Feb 2010, and my brother didn’t come home from Afghanistan until Sept 2010. Originally (before my brother was deployed), I wanted to get married in Sept, but that didn’t really work. So we waited until May 2011, you know for warmer weather. Plus we avoided a conflict with football season in the fall!
Ideally, I’d say 9-12 months. If you want the best choice of vendors (which can be hard to come by), you want as long as possible.
Anne @strawberryjampackedlife
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My husband and I just discussed this last weekend! I think the ideal engagement length is about 11-12 months. His thoughts are “the sooner, the better” (easier said by the groom, right?). That said, we were engaged 22 months, almost two full years!, before we got married. I’m still not sure why we chose a date so far out, but part of it was definitely that I felt 22 was a tad young to get married. Lots of factors go into that decision!
Brittany
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Carrie @ Confessions of a Dietitian Reply:
July 6th, 2011 at 2:32 pm
haha, I just posted the same thing right below. got married at 22, engaged for 2 years!
Carrie @ Confessions of a Dietitian
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I was engaged for almost 2 years! I didn’t really do any planning for the first year. We were 20 and in college when we got engaged, so not in a huge hurry. I thought he would wait another year or so to propose, but nope! I also wasn’t huge into wedding planning.
Salads made by someone else are infinitely more delicious than ones I make. It is magic. This is also true for sandwiches.
Carrie @ Confessions of a Dietitian
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I planned our wedding in 5 months. But my husband is military and we wanted to have the wedding before he left. It can be done!
Em
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As someone who just got engaged on Monday…whoop whoop…I think at least a year. But I think anything over a year and a half would be too long for me.
Sarah
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peanutbutterfingers Reply:
July 6th, 2011 at 2:34 pm
ahhhh! congrats! very exciting!
peanutbutterfingers
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We were engaged for 6 months, eloped and then are having the party in a few months. So if we got married at our party, it would have been a 10 month engagement. That probably didn’t make any sense!
Karen at Losing to Win
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I think for each is different….we were engaged for 11 WEEKS!! And everything came together perfectly
We loved each other, knew where we were getting married, and wanted to seal the deal soon.
It was the perfect day
Annette @ EnjoyYourHealthyLife
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peanutbutterfingers Reply:
July 6th, 2011 at 2:34 pm
oh my gosh! you’re hardcore! so glad your day was perfect.
peanutbutterfingers
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I’m the maid of honor for a wedding to be held on July 29th… and they got engaged at the end of february! I can definitely say that short of an engagement kept us on our toes as far as planning went, but if you like planning in a fast-paced manner, it was doable!
Alyssa @ Life of bLyss
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I was engaged for 14 months! I agree, it was a little long. I think that my planning timeline was about 9 months, which was a nice length, but I think it just depends a lot on the type of wedding you want
Congrats to your friend!
Elizabeth @ reads recipes runs
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haha this is definitely controversial topic to my in laws.
I DARED propose to my now husband after we had been dating for a year. My hubs and I wanted to get married 8 months later (before my dad passed away) but there were quite a few opinions about that.
So we had a bit more than a year and a half long engagement.
My parents met in march and were married in november of the same year! Happily married for 37 years before my dad died.
To each their own!
Jenny @ Fitness Health and Food
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How about this for a short engagement: 2 1/2 months! After talking/daydreaming about eloping, I decided I wanted a real wedding with all of our family and friends there. We had been dating for 2 years prior and just wanted to get to the alter!!! 5 years together and 3 years married – couldn’t be happier
Alex @ The Plum Foodie
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Indian weddings are always elaborate so I know planning will be nuts- I would like a 6-8 month engagement period…or so I’m thinking as of now!
Khushboo
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peanutbutterfingers Reply:
July 6th, 2011 at 2:36 pm
ryan and i were able to peek in on an indian wedding that was partially held outdoors when we were in atlanta and it looked amazing! so detailed and elaborate! we were in awe!
peanutbutterfingers
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I was engaged for 14 months and it felt toooooo long. Looking back though, it was necessary because it took my dress 9 months, I got my wedding planner’s last weekend of the year, and our photographer and limo service were both booking a year in advance…so it worked out!
We actually contemplated just going and secretly getting married, but didn’t. In retrospect, I am glad we had a long engagement because it meant I got everything I wanted. I was also only 22 when we got engaged, so it gave me another year to grow and mature!
Katie (dailymaiermusings.blogspot.com)
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It probably depends on how long you’ve been dating and how old you are. Hubbs and I were engaged for 11 months, but I could have gone shorter. 7 months sounds good!
Brittany @ Healthy Slice
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I was only engaged for 4 months and I think it was plenty of time. I already knew exactly what I wanted and had so many family and friends who were eager to pitch in and help. Honestly, I don’t think I could have survived a longer engagement, I just wanted to be married! We had a simple wedding and did it on a budget, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I think 6-10 months would be reasonable for most people.. It is plenty of time to get everything together and still breathe lol! It seems like if the engagement is longer there is just a lot of waiting and things still get put off until the last minute
Mary
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I honestly think it totally depends on what stage of your life you’re at, what kind of wedding you want, and who you are! I’ve been engaged since September and am getting married in August – the only reason we put it off is because we had just moved to the UK and weren’t planning to come back to Canada (our home!) until the summer. We are doing it all DIY – and will have less than a month to prepare! Maybe not ideal planning wise, but we are anxious to start our lives together!
Carolyn @ cool beans
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My husband and I were engaged for 9 months and that was more than enough time to plan a wedding. We initially had picked a date that would have been 13-14 months away but changed venues and moved the date up. I couldn’t be happier. The more time I would have had would have just given me more time to change my mind about the choices I’d made with the flowers, decorations, etc. I definitely think it is different for everyone, but I am an impatient person and like to get things moving.
McKenzie
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I think the right engagement time is probably different for every person depending on their lifestyle and what they want for their wedding. My engagement was almost 2 years, and because I had a job and was a full-time student, that was just the right amount of time for me! Any less time and we would have been scrambling to get everything we wanted done. Just depends on the couple!
Lauren @ Lawfully Wedded Wife
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I was engaged for 18 months which was a long time. We did not do a thing until 12 months (when we actually picked a date) and then we slowly pieced things together. You are definetly right that there are 3-5 months in the middle where you don’t do much.. there is a definite push in the begining and then again in the end. It can definetly be done in less than a year!
Ashley O. @ The Vegetable Life
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I think if your life isn’t too crazy at the moment, you can plan a beautiful wedding in 6 months. My friend’s engagement is only three months, but her mom and sister are doing a ton of scrambling for her.
I on the other hand, will have been engaged for 27 (!) months by the time we get married in September. I had grad school to finish up, then our jobs got insane. While I did have a lot of down time and waiting during the planning period, we were able to save up a ton of money for our honeymoon and some nice touches for our wedding. So I guess the length really depends on your schedule and of course, the availability of your venue/catering top choices.
Maria
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I’ve noticed that, for my female friends, the older they tend to be, the shorter they want their engagement!! I blame the fact that ladies have a biological clock they hear ticking, but it’s interesting when I see young friends who are engaged for over a year… I think it might have something to do with how sure they are and how much time they need to put things together.
Also, some of the younger women and men I know who get married need longer times to raise the money for what’s likely one of the more expensive days of their lives!!
For me, I think a year would be sufficient as I’d want to add a lot of personal DIY touches, and make sure that I get the venue and date I wanted!
Jordan @ food, sweat, and beers
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We got engaged in April of this year, after being together for about 7 years, and since we knew we wanted an end-of-summer wedding, we had to choose between a 5 month engagement or a 17 month one – we went with 5, and I’m having the best time! It’s stressful, and we’ve had to be pretty flexible, but that works for us. I always end up taking as much time as I have anyway; I can’t imagine living with a to-do list this long for more than a year! Plus, I’m already SO excited and can’t wait for the actual day – if it were a whole year away, I think I’d explode.
laura
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I don’t think that there’s any ideal length… it’s just whatever is best for each individual couple. I couldn’t imagine having too long of an engagement myself, but that’s just me. I was very ready to be married to Brandon!
We were engaged for 8 months. That was plenty of time to do all of the wedding preparation. And by the end, I was itching to get down that aisle! Of course, I also lived with a family that I barely knew while we were engaged (they let me stay with them for free until we got married… how nice is that?!). I didn’t move in with Brandon until after the honeymoon. So that’s a big reason why I was getting “itchy” haha!
Kristen @ notsodomesticated
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i want to be engaged for about 18 months. i say this only because i hope to be engaged next spring and married the following fall (just season-wise). i agree about engagement length only as long as you need to find the venue
allison @ thesundayflog
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We were engaged for 7 months, honestly we did everything in the last 2 months except choose the dress, venue, and wedding party. It would’ve been PLENTY of time if had been in the States to work on it. Since I was out of the country until the last two and a half weeks, it was a little bit stressful planning online/over the phone.
I think 6-8 months is plenty long if you know you want to get married. Unless you really want to wait for summer or whatever. JUST DO IT!
Corrie Anne
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Ahhh I am JUST about to post an update regarding that very article!! We got engaged in October and our wedding is THIS WEEKEND!! So…nine months was perfect for us
I only wish I had time for more DIY projects…It seems like I find something fun and new online every single day!
Sarah Jayne
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Interesting. I was engaged for 14 months. We waited so we could save money mostly but also I wanted my wedding in either Feb or March because it’s too hot any other time in Florida.
Of course, I ended up going to Vegas instead. But the weather was perfect there in March, so it worked out.
I did a lot of waiting in the meantime too. I think 9-12 months would probably be ideal.
Paula @ Eat: Watch: Run
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I think it all depends on how long you’ve known each other (after all, you do want to make sure it’s the right choice!) and how much time you have to plan. Like you said, if you can find a venue etc and get all the arrangements made fairly quickly, I don’t see why it should be drawn out any longer. I think around 1 year is about right.
Angela @ Eat Spin Run Repeat
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We were engaged 6 months which worked out great for us, since we were a bit flexible on the date. We got engaged in May and knew we wanted a fall wedding. A year and a half seemed to me like a loong time to wait, so once we were able to snag November 13 at our venue (the last available fall date), we didn’t look back! I didn’t have any problems planning in 6 months – just had to be organized and manage my time well since I was also in grad school and working full time!
Rachel
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I’m like you, whenever a good friend gets engaged I get SO excited and want everything to happen NOW!
For me, I think a year will be about perfect. I live in another state than most of my long time friends and my family, so having a bit of time to get things planned with out having to freak out will be nice. Now, I’ll just have to wait and see what happens!
Lisa @ lisalettinggo
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I just got engaged on June 3. Our engagement will be exactly one year. We are getting married on June 2, 2012. We have gotten the ceremony and reception booked as well as did the cake tasting and have gotten a few little things such as ring pillow/flower basket, invites, candles, etc. There will be a lot of down time since I am not getting my bridal party attire or talking to a florist until next year. Funny thing is some of my bridemaids are getting snarky with me because I am planning things now, yet most reception venues I called were already booked. Shows them I guess. Plus we have a VERY limited budget so i have to do a lot of planning now if I want to get what I want for my budget.
Eli
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I don’t know what I think the ideal engagement length is. I would love to get engaged to my bf, but we won’t we wouldn’t be able to get married for 2 years due to grad school- that would be a really long engagement, but I don’t think I would mind if there was a legitimate reason for us to wait on the marriage. Then again, the engagement could just happen later too. Nothing would really change for us other than the title or the fact that I’d have a ring on my finger
Lindsay@ In Sweetness and In Health
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I don’t really think there is an “ideal” I mean it really depends on the type of wedding, the location and what an engagement means to you. My husband and I were engaged for 12 months and 1 week before we got married but that was do to the fact I had to finish up my last year of university and we were having our wedding in a different location than where we lived.
Lindsay
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We were engaged for 13 months. It was perfect for us. We paid for everything ourselves and hubby had lost his job just after asking me to marry him. We needed all the time to come up with the money to have a wedding!
Linda
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We were engaged 6 months and we pulled it off together in plenty of time! Considering we had over 300 guest I was pretty proud we actually did it in that amount of time! 9 months would have been ideal though…less stress
Amber
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Holly Reply:
July 6th, 2011 at 2:53 pm
Oh my gosh! 300 guests & you only had 6 months?! YOU GO GIRL
That is AWESOME!!!
Holly
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We’ve been engaged for 16 months, which most people think is wayyy too long. We didn’t originally plan for it to be this long, but we wanted to have time for both us and our parents to save money for an elaborate wedding, so we were actually planning for it to be another whole year away! Then, 2 months ago, we realized that we were waiting for all the wrong reasons and all we really cared about was actually being married. Now, our date is 4 months away! I’m doing a lot of DIY projects (including our cake- am I insane?) so the planning has pretty much been a breeze after booking the venue.
Aaaand I just wrote a book. Sorry!
Carly @ Cooking With Carly
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We dated for over 3 years before getting engaged in January ’08 and were married end of August ’08, so we had just over 7 months and I felt like that was plenty of time. In fact, as long as you get the big things done first, we would have been ok with something shorter like 5-6 months! I was ready to make it official!!
Leslie
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We will be engaged for about 15 months by the time our wedding rolls around next May. We initially wanted to get married in October but when we got engaged in February it felt like not enough time- but we are also paying for the wedding ourselves and lived in different states at the time of our engagement so there were other things for us to consider. Waiting until the following fall felt way too long, so we decided to re-think our plans and get married in the spring.
Now that I am actually in the planning stages, I think I could certainly pull off a wedding with a short engagement, but we are also enjoying this time and don’t feel rushed or stressed, which is so nice.
Krysta
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Very interesting question! My one friend was engaged for two years, and a friend of a friend was engaged for five years! Everyone else was average. I haven’t been engaged yet, but my boyfriend and I say that once that time comes, we’ll get engaged, then randomly go to city hall to make it official and then have a big cookout with our friends and family. We’re so not traditional (and I feel bad for our friends because I love attending other peoples weddings).
Katie
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We had a long (18 months) engagement, and for us it was just fine- I don’t think we really benefited, and I don’t think we should have pushed it up. We were 22 and had known each other for two years, but had only been dating seven months when he proposed. We took into account grad school and work factors when we were setting a date, and June 2008 just happened to work best. It gave us PLENTY of time to plan, not only for the wedding, but also for our marriage. I have to say the only downside was that I haaaated wedding planning, so a long engagement just meant more months of “So how’s the wedding planning coming?? Have you decided on xyz?” People often say their wedding day was one of the happiest of their lives, but I really loved the day after, when it was over and we were married and could just relax with our families and friends before the honeymoon
Katie
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I was engaged for 5 months! Short. I didn’t even know he was going to propose.. but I wanted a summer wedding and didn’t want to wait a year and 5 months.. so we just did the damn thing.
janetha @ meals & moves
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I was engaged 4.5 months. It was perfect – we planned everything quickly but it kept us from adding more and more details (and more and more $$$). It also was so nice to know it was coming quickly – after he proposed we were so ready to be married… and then we had to wait some more! I loved having a short engagement and wouldn’t have it any other way! Plus, it helped us maintain physical boundaries (we waited til we were married) and we know extra time would have just continued to put stress on that and make it even harder.
Kim @ girlevolving
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We were engaged for 17 months – worked out to be the perfect amount of time for us
I did a lot of the “big” planning early – getting venues and securing vendors. We live in the DC-Baltimore metro area so a lot of the best places and vendors get snagged up early – often more than a year in advance! We took the time to make sure we got what we wanted and also save $$ since we were paying for it ourselves and could proudly enter our marriage with zero debt 
Laura
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I love the short engagements! I hate waiting to celebrate someone! ha!
We were engaged after only dating for 2 months & only had an 8 month engagement. We’ll be married 3 years this August
Sonja
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We were engaged for two years…which was a little too long in my opinion, but I wanted to wait until I finished grad school. Plus I married young, so there wasn’t a huge rush (engaged at 22, married at 24). However, I’m glad I was engaged two years because wedding planning was very stressful between grad school, interning, and working and the long engagement allowed me extra time to make sure everything was perfect.
I don’t think there is an “ideal” engagement length, because every couple and situation is different. And a wedding can be beautiful whether planned in three weeks or three years!
Eliabeth
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Oh I have an opinion on this! We were engaged for 17 months and it was TOO LONG! Everyone I know that’s gotten engaged since, I’ve told them don’t make it a long engagement but no one listens!
I understand it doesn’t always work out based on when you get engaged and when you want your wedding (which was my case). But, for me at least, I would’ve rather had my wedding at a different time of year than had the engagement so long. Engagements just feel like you’re wishing your life away waiting for the wedding and the lesser amount of time you can feel that way the better! I think mine was also made more difficult by the fact that I was in NY and my fiance was in FL. A long time to be separated.
Gina @ Running to the Kitchen
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We were engaged for 10 months..it was pretty perfect, although, honestly it could of even been a bit shorter. We had a few months in the middle where we did nothing too!
I can’t wait to go!!
My friend that is getting married this weekend was only engaged for 8 months! But she was able to get everything done & ready for this weekend
Holly
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I was engaged for four months and thought it was perfect. Sometimes it felt really busy trying to get everything planned, but I got it done, and was glad I didn’t have to wait any longer to get married.
Andrea (Run. Learn. Repeat.)
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Well…I met my husband for the first time, fell in love, got engaged, and married all in one years time exactly. We were engaged for 6 months, and it was enough time to make things happen for a really nice ceremony and reception. We’re married for 10 years (anniversary in April) and very happy too!
I think when you know, you know! And the more simple the wedding/reception is the shorter amount of time needed to plan.
Roz @ My ViSalus Journey
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My husband and I were engaged for 9 months which was plenty of time! We also had a destination wedding, so venues were a bit more flexible – definitely not as booked up as places get here in NJ!
Rachel @ The Avid Appetite
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I love this discussion!
We got engaged in May (of this year) and by early June we decided to get married on September 3rd…of this year. (And I swear I’m not preggers!)
So basically we will have a four month engagement and three months of planning. We are incredibly lucky and planning has been a breeze. I have a few little things to do…most of them crafty DIY items. Everyone is different, so I wouldn’t say this is right for everyone…but I am here to say that it can be done. We aren’t stressed out, and we are incredibly ready and excited to be married.
Holly
[Reply]
We were engaged for 11 months and that was just about right. We didn’t feel rushed with planning and we felt ready to be married by the end, a good place to be in, I think.
Kate
[Reply]
I’m engaged and our wedding is going to be almost exactly 15 months from the date he proposed. This is longer than I would have liked, but I wanted to wait until after my college graduation, which will be three weeks before the wedding.
Julia
[Reply]
I don’t really want a long engagement, but that’s because I’d like to be dating the man for a while before we even get engaged. I don’t really want to get married for at least another two years, and I’d prefer to date the guy for at least a year beforehand…so we shall see!
Faith @ lovelyascharged
[Reply]
My hubby and I were engaged for 16 months. It didn’t seem all that long to me though, with all the planning. Our wedding was small and intimate, and well worth the wait!
Stephanie
[Reply]
I’m totally the odd one out here, but I’ve always wanted a loooong engagement, 3 years ideally but absolutely no less than 2 years. I just want time to plan and explore all options, plus it’s the only time i’ll ever be engaged (hopefully), so why not just enjoy it? After that, I want to wait 2-3 years before introducing kids to the mix. We’ll see though… I’ve been with my boyfriend for nearly 7 years and I’m getting old! haha.
Dani
[Reply]
Hannah Reply:
July 6th, 2011 at 3:07 pm
I definitely want to enjoy being engaged, too, but I don’t want to get ‘bored’ with it or have ‘too much time’ like a lot of people on here are saying. Now I feel more confident that I could plan a wedding in a year if needed
but we are also in college so that would take up a lot of planning time, too, if my boyfriend decides to propose in the next year or so….. 
)
Hannah
[Reply]
Dani Reply:
July 6th, 2011 at 3:18 pm
ooh yeah, i didn’t mean that planning = not enjoying an engagement! haha! i don’t know what girl wouldn’t enjoy being engaged! i just meant basically, i wouldn’t want to do any immediate wedding planning.
Dani
[Reply]
i’ll be engaged for 9 months…a lot of people thought that was really short. :/ a friend of mine was engaged for exactly 1 year.
erica
[Reply]
We were engaged for about 5 months…give or take a week! People thought I was pregnant and wanted to be married before the baby arrived!
It was long enough for us as we had been a couple for over 5 years…. The ideal length is whatever works for YOU. 
marcia
[Reply]
My fiance and I have been engaged foe almost a month and just booked rhe reception and ceremony for a year fron TODAy! I think its perfect and suited us!
cait
[Reply]
I’ve always wanted a long-ish engagement (at least a year), but everyone I’ve talked to says they wish their engagement was shorter no matter how long their engagement actually was, so now I’m rethinking that idea. I’m sure it will just come down to when I get engaged and what time of year I’ll want to get married.
Jessica @ Sushi and Sit-Ups
[Reply]
I was engaged for six months before we got married. We got engaged in January and got married that August. For us it was logistics. I’m a teacher and didn’t want to get married during the school year and not be able to go on a honeymoon.
Mrs. Fish
[Reply]
I think “to each his own” as far as engagement time goes. I was engaged for 10mos before we got married; truth be told, I would have married this man on our first date. (We’ll be celebrating 12yrs of marriage this fall.)
tasha
[Reply]
We had just shy of a year, and I definitely wished I had more time. We did get everything done, but I wish I could have done it at a more leisurely pace. Granted, I work full time and go to school every night, and our wedding was in a different city than we live so a lot of travelling was involved. Brides with less hectic schedules probably don’t need as much time. I will say that in the city where I got married, most popular venues get booked more than a year in advance. So even if you personally don’t need as much time to plan, you’ll find yourself with fewer options if you have a short engagement.
Suzanne
[Reply]
I think it will depend on the time of year that I get engaged. I want to get married in the spring/summer, so if I get engaged DURING that time period it will be 9-12 months and it would be shorter if I were asked in the fall or winter, but I think I want at least 6 months.
My boyfriend’s older brother got engaged in March and they’re having their wedding in October (7 months).
Ellen @ Undercover Runner Eats
[Reply]
We were engaged for 5 mos~ which I thought was perfect! It gave us enough time to plan but not soooo much time that we were agonizing over decisions for too long. We just made a decision and moved on to the next one. Check!
To me, that was the perfect amount of time. I’m glad that I didn’t have to wait too long to be his wife!
Lauren B.
[Reply]
My husband and I were engaged for 13 months as well. I was finishing college so we had to wait a few months longer than we would have liked.
I think ideally around 6-9 months would be ideal if you’re already in the ‘adult world’ and not in school.
I think the best thing was dating for 4 years before we were engaged. It scares me for people who date for 6 months and then get engaged (most cases, not all!) You barely know someone after six months!
A few years of dating really makes all the difference. It’s the rest of your life for goodness sake, no need to rush!
Whitney
[Reply]
Dani Reply:
July 6th, 2011 at 3:24 pm
i agree… i love my bf and have loved him since before we dated (we were good friends)… but i would not have accepted a ring before at least 2 years of dating.
Dani
[Reply]
Though I’ve never been engaged, I think when I do get there I’ll be ready to get married as soon as possible. 6 – 9 months sounds great to me.
Carolina @ Peas in a Blog
[Reply]
I think I’ll need to be engaged for a good, long time before I get married. I’m a commitment-phobe so I’m afraid I’ll end up backing out, haha!
Hayley @ hayley daily
[Reply]
I’m currently engaged and will have had a 17 month long engagement when we get married next May. We chose the date with the hopes that my fiance’s sister and her army husband would be in the country at that time. That said, I think the ideal engagement length would be shorter than 17 months…
Whitney L.
[Reply]
We were engaged for 2 years, but I didn’t even start planning anything until about 8 months before. Honestly, I felt like we were “pre-engaged” for the first year and a half anyway (engaged 2 months into dating).
I figure, however long it takes you to get the stuff planned for whatever you really want is as long as the engagement really needs to be (I think you have to wait 3 days for a marriage license in MA, so yeah!). Though, one of my friends had her wedding planned BEFORE her engagement (LOL! They’d been together for like 10 years at that point).
Stephanie
[Reply]
I definitely agree that every couple and situation is different. Our engagement will be just over 7 months, we’re getting married in December. I’ve had some people ask why so soon and others comment that 7 months is way too long. I guess engagement length, like everything else wedding related, is something people are very opinionated about!
Jessica
[Reply]
The husband and I were engaged for 5 1/2 months… It was good for us, we had dated for almost 4 years and knew that it was time, so we just did it!
….It was long enough to plan a wonderful wedding!
Julie H. of Spinach and Sprinkles
[Reply]
I was engaged for 13 months…I think 9 months would be perfect as long as you aren’t set on getting married during the prime wedding months (since they book up fast)…we definitely had 5 months where I buried my head in the sand and I didn’t do any wedding planning and my wedding turned out absolutely perfect.
Ashley
[Reply]
My husband and I were engaged for just under a year–he proposed on March 19th, 2010, and we were married on Feb. 26th, 2011. For some reason I really didn’t want to be engaged longer than a year. And I’ll be totally honest that we planned everything in less than 5 months. The only arrangement I made between March and early October was buying my wedding dress!
A lot depends on what you want your wedding to be (large, small, hotel ballroom, parents’ backyard, etc.). We had a family-only destination wedding in Bermuda. If I had wanted a designer dress, I might have needed to allow more time. If we had gotten married where we live (DC metro area) we might have had to wait if we wanted a specific venue, photographer, caterer, etc to be available. The more flexible you are, the shorter your engagement can be.
My friends and family have been all over the map engagement-wise. My bestie from high school was engaged for only three months, and was so tired of being asked if she was pregnant (she wasn’t) that she threatened to carry around a used negative pregnancy test to show everyone! And another friend has been engaged going on 5 years now, with no wedding date set. Honestly, I don’t think they will actually get married–not a great relationship all around.
My coworker married her husband six weeks after their first (blind) date! And they are still happily married 25+ years later–now that one still blows my mind!
Dukebdc
[Reply]
Well… I’m crazy. I was engaged for two months! And we had only dated a month before we got engaged.
Timeline was like this:
July 1, 2008: First date
August 8, 2008: Engaged
October 12, 2008: MARRIED.
I never thought I would get married so I had no clue what I wanted my wedding to be like so I just sort of made decisions quickly and wanted to keep cost down (and splurged on a great photographer.) I don’t think it has to be stressful but we had a VERY small wedding and I think that helped.
There were some extenuating circumstances in my case – the main one being my father was really sick and I didn’t want to wait in case he passed. Sounds morbid/nuts but I knew by the 4th date my husband was ‘the one’ and I also knew my dad was really really ill. He skipped his week of chemo to be able to walk me down the aisle and passed away just under 2 years later. My wedding was perfect because of the men there-my husband and my dad! All the details like flowers, dress, etc were fine but not the most important thing to me.
Sorry that got so long!
Melissa
[Reply]
I think the engagement length all depends on the individual circumstance, but I prefer a shorter engagement. Mine was just 8 months. I couldn’t imagine it being any longer. I would have gone bananas!
Erin @ The Grass Skirt
[Reply]
My engagement will last 13 months when I finally get married next month! The only reason it’s that long is because our reception venue gets booked so fast on Penn State’s campus, and our weekend was the only weekend available when we booked it! And Dan booked it before he proposed! I do feel that we didn’t need all 13 months. From November to April, we literally did nothing for the wedding because everything was basically done!
Amanda @ Cucina Amanda
[Reply]
I was engaged for 12 months. I suppose we would’ve gotten married sooner but we both loved Autumn and the prices also dropped a bit after summer.
Laura
[Reply]
I was engaged for a year (Dec. 22nd to Dec. 28th – with a whole bunch of months in between) and it was just too long. I swear I was tempted to elope about 5 times. If I had to do it all again (and hopefully I don’t) I would go with a 6 month enagement.
My brothers take the cake though — one will be engaged for 2 years and 5 months and the other is still up in the air. I really just want them to get married already!
Michelle @ Crazy*Running*Legs
[Reply]
I was engaged for 5.5 months, but we had dated for 3 years before that. Almost 6 years of married bliss!
Angela
[Reply]
We were engaged for 18 months and I loved it. I never felt rushed or stressed to plan the wedding and was able to enjoy the planning and engagement more. Being in the events field (I am an Events Coordinator) I would never plan a wedding in less than a year!
Lindsey
[Reply]
I admit that we were engaged for 20 months (i.e. after college graduation). Which was a really LONG time but that was great for us.
We were both full-time students. The school was 3 hours from home/where the wedding was held meaning some things could only be accomplished while we were in town. We had 1-3 part-time jobs each at various times. And we were busy applying for jobs (him) and medical school (me). Plus his family is slow to make decisions so stretching everything out like that made it a more comfortable process for them.
If we hadn’t had all those things though I definitely would’ve wanted a shorter engagement! But this way we got to enjoy planning the wedding without feeling rushed.
Ashley from Texas
[Reply]
I would say around about a year or so would be ideal. I think I’d want a while to plan a wedding as it can be stressful. Saying that, it depends a lot on when I was proposed to, our finances would have a big impact on the length of engagemen. As sad as it is with the economy at the moment, I’d need quite a while to save up :p
Sian
[Reply]
I guess it all depends but for us – it was 6 months. We had a destination wedding and just jetted off and had a killer time on the beach! Wouldn’t change a thing!
Corey @ Learning Patience
[Reply]
I just want to be engaged before I think about how long it will actually be…
Abby @ Abz ‘n’ Oats
[Reply]
I am getting married 9.10.2011 and we will have been engaged for 8 1/2 months when we get married. I think 8-9 months is perfect, plenty of time to do things without being rushed, but short enough that it is always on your mind and it stays exciting!
Stephanie
[Reply]
We had a 8 month engagement. I think that was a perfect time, much longer and I think I wouldve gone crazy. BUT I also had been in the event planning biz for 4 years before so knew all the good places to go…..
SaraRM
[Reply]
We were engaged for one year and I thought it was way too long. I didn’t like planning my wedding, so I wanted the big day to hurry up and arrive! I could have easily done a 6 or 8 month engagement.
Molly at Duchess of Fork
[Reply]
Coming from someone who was previously engaged (me), it does take quite awhile to get to know someone’s “true colors”. Granted I was engaged quickly after beginning my relationship, there was still SO much to learn. I was engaged 7 months in total, and during this time things drastically changed…so I would recommend at least 10-12 months for engagement if you haven’t been dating for very long!
In the future (and yes, this will be the final engagement, hehe) I would probably want to be engaged for about one year. It seems traditional, and I’m all for tradition
Claire
[Reply]
I think a big piece that is missing here is the financial aspect of wedding planning. I think a short engagement is wonderful if you are planning a small wedding or you have your families financial support, but speaking personally, when paying for things solo that is not always possible…so, short and sweet is great if you can afford it, but waiting longer to save up is a much better option than going into debt to have your wedding more quickly!
Lindsay
[Reply]
gabriella @ embracement Reply:
July 6th, 2011 at 4:59 pm
Totally agree. With some relationships, it’s obvious that the engagement is coming and money can be put away (or the families’ have put money away already for their kids), but for others its a complete surprise and they haven’t planned at all. I do not want to bankrupt myself for a wedding, because living comfortably afterward is personally more important to me, so I’d much rather wait longer to be able to afford what I want and still have food
gabriella @ embracement
[Reply]
My husband & I got engaged in June, 2009 and were married in December, 2009. We both knew we wanted a Christmas wedding and didn’t want to wait 18 months to tie the knot. It took a lot of precise planning but it all came together beautifully.
Amy
[Reply]
i think what matters more is at what age you get engaged and/or married. from what i notice people who get engaged or marry a person they dated in college tend to hit a crazy spell in their late 20′s (esp the guys) where they want to go out a lot and party. eventually this leads to divorce. its much better to be single for a few years after college and expereince dating.
tom
[Reply]
Oh!! We will have been engaged for 13 months too by the time it rolls around! Right now we’re at 5 months
This is a fun and interesting post! haha, I feel like I didn’t do a lot either for the first few months b/c of school. It’s not easy getting started is it? It’s so fun though once we get into the groove of things. 
Ellie@fitforthesoul
[Reply]
I was engaged for 15 months before I got married. There were definitely a few months in there that i wanted to just pass by. Looking back now, I am glad i had a little bit longer on an engagement. The planning was so much fun, and we really enjoyed the time we were engaged – we will never experience it again, and it was truly special for us.
Mary
[Reply]
I feel like the typical engagment is 6 months. I think there are a lot of differences for length of engagment goes along with if you are living together/sleeping together. It seems that most couples who are have longer engagments. Those that are saving sex and living together until they are married have shorters engagments lengths. My husband and I were in the latter…waiting to have sex until we were married and were not living together. We were engaged 4 months.
marisa
[Reply]
OH and also we only dated 15months before we got engaged..
marisa
[Reply]
Keith and I were engaged for 9 1/2 months and we both agreed it was plenty of time to get everything coordinated. I think anything between 6 and 12 months is plenty of time depending on how large your wedding is going to be.
Kelly
[Reply]
i think i’m in the minority… [admittedly though i did not read every comment]
we were engaged for 19 days.
and my wedding was perfect; went off without error and the only bridezilla moment i had was 10 min before start time- i threw a fit wanting everyone to hurry up already so i could go downstairs and get MARRIED already. my best friend snapped a picture of me on the phone, bouquet in one hand and finger waving angrily in the other hand, balancing the phone on my shoulder, telling my father on the other end to tell everyone else to HURRY UP because i was done waiting.
haha, that memory always makes me giggle.
Annie
[Reply]
My hubby and I were engaged less than 9 months. I gotten married sooner but the winter months in NJ isn’t good for out of towners. I thought it was a great engagement length
Lizzy @ runbakerace
[Reply]
I think I’d like to be engaged for about a year—just enough time to get things sorted out, not so much time that I start getting antsy or bored!
Hillary
[Reply]
I would like to be engaged for a year… just to make sure i have money sorted out and everything goes smoothly!
alyssa – fashion fitness foodie
[Reply]
I got engaged in January and my fiance and I are getting married on September 10, so when all is said and done we will have had a 9-month engagement. Honestly, at this point, I am so glad we didn’t wait any longer! Like your friend, Laurel, I had always anticipated a longer engagement but everything just came together and Chris and I are more than ready to tie the knot. I’m so excited!
Joanie
[Reply]
I’m not sure if this will be the longest one here but, we got engaged at the start of March 2010 and our wedding is booked for July 2012!! Granted, we got engaged in Australia (my home country) and then had a long holiday before moving to Sweden (his home country). We’ve needed time to get settled here and then my family/friends need some notice to arrange travel etc to Sweden…since it’s the other side of the world and all. Sending out save-the-dates next week. I think people will fall off their chairs when they see that we actually have a date and venue.
Nerida
[Reply]
I’ll be engaged for 16 months when I get married in April! I’ve known people who were engaged for over 2 years & some who were engaged for 3 months… depends on what kind of “planner” you are!
Erica @ For the Sake of Cake
[Reply]
I think it all depends on when you get engaged. If I had gotten engaged in the summer, I would have had to wait a whole year before I could have a summer wedding with enough time to plan. Instead I had closer to 8 months because I got engaged in December. Since my husband is a teacher, we wanted to get married in the summer.
Honestly, I felt like the 8 months was too long (for me). While the planning can take a while, I hated wedding planning. It caused way too many fights and frustration.
Erin @ GoBananasBlog
[Reply]
I’m a fan of short engagments! My hubby and I were engaged for 5 months. It was a bit stressful, especially since our wedding was in a different state than where we lived, but we’d been together for 4 years already, so we were ready to be married.
Sara
[Reply]
I feel the same way about salads- I love them when they are made by someone else!
I don’t know about the perfect amount of time to be engaged- I guess it depends on the person and how elaborate their wedding is going to be. But I know my friend was sooo ready for her wedding to happen about 2-3 months before it did; she almost wished they had just had a super simple wedding on the beach right after they got engaged.
Amber @ Stop and Smell the Wildflowers
[Reply]
Initially we planned on a 13 month engagement and then wedding planning stressed me out so we ended up getting married in less than 8 months. I wouldn’t have changed it though!
I agree salads do taste better when someone else makes them or at someone else’s house for some reason! Maybe it’s the change up of ingredients haha!
Juliene
[Reply]
I think I’d like a year in between getting engaged and getting married, mainly just to have time to enjoy being engaged. I guess at this point, I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 3 years, if it works out it’ll likely be another couple before I see a ring on my hand and at that point I’ll just want to get married, but I think it’s nice to just enjoy it before the stress of the wedding planning takes over. Granted I want a super simple wedding, so hopeeeefully there won’t be too much stress and planning to be done.
gabriella @ embracement
[Reply]
I got engaged in December and am getting married next week (!!) making my engagement 7.5 months long. I don’t think I could handle it much longer and we never felt super crunched.
P.S. I’m calling for guest posts to run while I’m on the honeymoon, if any readers are interested! (:
Mimi
[Reply]
I agree with you Julie! Once you get the venue, flowers, photog, you can do the rest so quickly! We had a 6.5 month long engagement that was perfect but there was about 2 months where we didn’t have anything in between the major planning and then right before the wedding. We got engaged in July and married in February so we had lots of holidays in between…Halloween, Thanksgivng, Christmas and New Years so we had lots going on the time flew by! And I didn’t want to seem so consumed in my wedding so it was fun to be celebrating lots of holidays with family and friends! PS someone pinned one of your wedding pics on Pinterest!! xoxo
Ruthie Hart
[Reply]
I got engaged on June 25th and we got married on June 5th the next year. I think 12 mo is the perfect amount of time, when your engaged for too long you start to lose focus of the wedding I think.
Bethany
[Reply]
We got engaged in early August (8-8-08) and were married by late August of 2009….so a little over a year and that was more than enough time.
I agree that once you have your venue picked out and the major things done it goes pretty smooth. We also didn’t go a whole lot of anything for months and pretty much just waited for the wedding. I say that as long as you can get the venue you want, a short engagement should be no issue at all!
Amber Starr @ Love, Laugh, Live Well
[Reply]
Jay proposed on 8/13/10. We both wanted an October 2011 wedding in Santa Fe, NM. We started looking at venues early September 2010. And already most of the dates for Oct 2011 were booked! There were 1-2 dates open but we were given less than 24 hours to make a quick decision and a deposit. With October being a busy wedding month, we also wouldn’t have had very many choices as far as vendors. We decided it was fate to be patient (something we’re not good at!!), take time to save money and plan our wedding for October 2012. We have been so happy with our choice because we’ve been able to get first pick of our favorite venue’s date (10/13/12!!), photographer and dj. A year long engagement would have been great but our 2 year works for us!
Mari@BFF: Better Food and Fitness
[Reply]
Most of my married friends were engaged for about a year, and it does seem like most of them took a few months off from planning in the middle. But I think that gives you time to enjoy your engagement! I definitely would rather enjoy the experience then feel rushed!
Laura (Cookies vs. Carrots)
[Reply]
My husband and I were engaged for 4 months. I had just watched my sister do a 13 month engagement and knew that I wanted a shorter one. I wouldn’t change a thing.
Kelly
[Reply]
i think it totally depends on how long you’ve been together, the area you live, etc. we dated for 4 months before getting engaged and then were engaged for 10 months before the wedding. we only knew each other 5 months prior to dating (and no, we didn’t beat around the bush at dating…there was no 4-5 month hang out period first).
so i think long engagements go well with shorter dating time and vice versa. but you do have to take into account your geographical area and stuff too. i wanted to get married in my hometown which is a small-medium city/college town so there wasn’t much competition for venues and stuff. but we were also bound by my job with campus crusade for christ and i had to work until may, and the town i lived in had zero jobs for my husband-to-be. so we had to wait til my job was over before getting married because we didn’t want to do a long distance marriage. yuck. so there you have it!
Sarah K. @ The Pajama Chef
[Reply]
Jay and I were engaged for 9 months, which I thought was the perfect amount of time for us. We had already been together almost 10 years, so it was time to get things moving..
One thing I did NOT expect when we announced our wedding date? The number of people who thought we were “rushing down the aisle” because I was, umm..preggers.
Really?!? I couldn’t believe it! The thought had never crossed my mind before that, but people honestly thought that’s why we were moving “so quick.” CRAZY!
Courtney @ Sweet Tooth, Sweet Life
[Reply]
Harriet J-V Reply:
July 6th, 2011 at 5:29 pm
Agreed to this! We had been together for nearly 7 years when we got married, and more than half the wedding guests asked if I was pregnant. What they didn’t know was that we more or less had the whole wedding planned out before we got engaged… the ring was the last thing, not the first!
Harriet J-V
[Reply]
My husband and I got engaged May 1st, and got married Sept. 25th… but we had been together for nearly 7 years at that point. I think a long engagement only makes sense if you need to wait on others (like the church, venues, etc.) Since we had our wedding at my brother-in-law’s house, we didn’t need to wait for anyone.
Harriet J-V
[Reply]
We were together 7 years and then engaged for another 18 months! It was a lonnnng engagement. But we had the perfect wedding so it was all worth it.
Kelley
[Reply]
I guess a year….I am newly engaged (march) and we already have a venue. We only are waiting until next summer because I am a teacher and that’s really the only time I can get married and have a honeymoon (which kind of sucks) and because it’s in Punta Cana so we want to give everyone enough time to have the funds to do so. I’m checking stuff off the list so quickly, I could get married this fall! So I’m sure Jim and I will be hanging low waiting like you and Ryan did!
Kristyn
[Reply]
I would think no more than a year, but then again I am only 18 sooo maybe my thoughts will change when the time comes haha
Lauren @ What Lauren Likes
[Reply]
I think it depends on how long you’ve been together. My hubby and I were engaged for 8 months before we got married, but we had already been together for 5 years! However, if you’ve only been dating for a year or less, a longer engagement would probably be a good idea.
That salad looks delish! And yes, salads are ALWAYS better when made by someone else
Jen @familyfoodfitnessandfun
[Reply]
We were engaged for 8 months and it was way to long in my opinion. The sooner the better I think. If you know you want to get married why wait. I think 4 or 5 months would be good.
Rachelle
[Reply]
On our wedding day this July 30 we will have been engaged 14 months and 2 days!
Lauren
[Reply]
We were engaged for 7 months. That was plenty of time. I can’t imagine being engaged longer than that!
Whitney
[Reply]
I was engaged for a year… It wasn’t too long and wasn’t too short. Definitely perfect for us. (Maybe even a bit shorter would have worked. Ha, ha). I don’t think I could wait longer than that though.
Nicole
[Reply]
I just got engaged this Saturday! WE ARE SO EXCITED! My fiancé is a 2nd Lt in the Marine Corps so we are getting hitched in January 2012. So only a 6.5 month engagement but it is prefect for us and fits around his military training schedule and when I graduate from graduate school in December!
Sarah
[Reply]
Samantha @ Mama Notes Reply:
July 6th, 2011 at 7:44 pm
I cant help but say CONGRATULATIONS!!
Samantha @ Mama Notes
[Reply]
I was engaged for 5 months. I thought it was perfect! I am not a fan of the idea of being engaged for a year +. Seems silly to me!
Samantha @ Mama Notes
[Reply]
My engagement was 12 months and we got married, the same weekend of our engagement, but exactly a year after.
I did a destination wedding and even though I started planning 9 months before the wedding, all the details of the wedding didn’t happen until 5 months before. I think I could have done it in 5 months to think about it.
Lea @ healthy coconut
[Reply]
I think it varies a lot depending on the circumstances of the relationship. On the whole, really really long engagments kinda annoy me. That being said, whatever suits the couple is obviously best! When/if (!) the time comes for me, I know I won’t want to wait around for more than a year…
Sophie
[Reply]
I think it depends on the situation. We were engaged for a year and a 1/2 but only because we were waiting until we finished school and bought a house. If you don’t have anything like that, than I think a good 6 months is usually suitable to plan a wedding.
Lauren
[Reply]
We were engaged for 13 months as well. I think it was the absolute best thing for me because I changed venues several times!! I am so terrible at making decisions so I needed the time to go back and forth a bit
Presley
[Reply]
I definitely think it depends on the situation as well. My best friend from childhood got engaged on July 3, 2010 and isn’t getting married until June 2, 2012 (also fun fact: my roommate at school next year got engaged near the end of October and is also getting married on June 2, 2012. Stellar.). That makes sense, though, because my best friend and her fiance are both graduating in May of 2012. I know another girl who got engaged in April of 2010 and was married on September 25, 2010. Personally I thought that was a bit too short, but they pulled the whole thing off because both the girl and the guy were out of school. I think how long I’d want my engagement to last would depend a lot on how much free time I have–more free time = shorter engagement. At least, that’s what makes the most sense to me.
Bethany @ Accidental Intentions
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I think a year is perfect engagement time! I think I would start to antsy after a year!!
Erin @ Naturally Addicted
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Craig and I have looked at rings and have been talking ALOT about marriage. We are leaving for Costa Rica in about a week and I am so hoping he pops the question. We have discussed engagements, and we are planning on having a destination wedding, so we are talking a 6 month or less engagement. I am so happy with it, I am 28 and would love to start having a family…I am not getting any younger. I know the sooner we are married the sooner we can have kids!!!
Chelsea
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I will absolutely be the girl that will want to plan for the wedding the second I get proposed to. I would probably get really antsy after a year but I wouldn’t want to be completely stressed and rushing if it was too short.
Jackie @ That Deep Breath
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I totally think everything is better when someone else makes it for you, but salads and sandwiches the most!
I agree with a lot of other readers, I think about a year is a good amount of time: my husband and I were engaged for 15 months.
Katie @ running4cupcakes.com
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I just got engaged in June and our wedding will be in October 2012.
Nikki
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I would say between 1 year and 1.5 years. My fiance and I have been engaged for exactly 1 year and it’s almost perfect! The only problem we ran into was venues were starting to get really booked up even one year in advance. A year and a half would have given us that extra edge, but we found a perfect venue anyway!
Bee Goes Bananas
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I just got engaged a little over two weeks ago and we are planning a 13 month engagement. For me, it is more about the season I want to get married in (summer) that decided the length of time. However, in the Boston area things book up early so I feel like a year is necessary to plan!
Jessie
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Yum! That salad looks so good!
I think engagement length definitely depends on each individual situation! My boyfriend and I always talk about maybe getting engaged in grad school but then waiting until after we both got our masters/save up some money to actually get married… so I have a feeling I’ll have a fairly long engagement!
Danielle (Shrinking and Studying)
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YES! Salads ALWAYS taste better when someone else makes them. Why is that?
It’s a universal mystery!
Missy
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I was engaged for a year. I thought it was a good amount of time, but I am also a procrastinator
Fit Chick Britt
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7 months and it’s too long.
duddes02
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My engagement was 7 months and it worked out great! Once we had the venue and the photographer, everything just fell into place. We had to keep it short because we were engaged in March, wanted to marry in October and we couldn’t wait a whole year because of his army commitments. But everything worked out great and I’m glad to have kept it short.
Alaina
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I don’t think I could do more than 6 months — I’m just impatient. I also feel like during a long engagement, the pressure builds and people start to go nutty.
I’m not sure that I would want to get married in the winter, though, so I suppose it would depend on when I got engaged. Note to the future Mr. Peacock: Dec/Jan would be a great time to pop the question
Alison
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We were engaged for 8 months – it was perfect. We seriously even had a long lull!
chelsey @ clean eating chelsey
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We got engaged in December (the 17th) and will be married Oct 9th— so 9 months. I think we would have done it sooner but I am in quite a few weddings this summer (including my best friends) and wanted to be able to concentrate on their special days without worrying about what was on my own to do list. Plus, my brother was supposed to be deployed until the end of September and Oct 9th is Thanksgiving. What better way to be thankful then spending an amazing day with all the people you love. 95 days…
Kaella
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We were engaged for 9 months. It was the perfect amount of time!
Michelle
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I was engaged for 14 months and that was wayyyyy too long for us.
Btw, where did you go for lunch? Those salads look delicious!
Essie
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Husband and I dated for 5 years before he asked then we were engaged for 2 years before we got married, for us we loved our ‘long’ engagement. We wanted to plan a wedding and enjoy it and also be 100% done with college
Hollie
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This is a very interesting question. I think it all depends on the couple, their lifestyles, and the type of wedding they both want. My fiance’ and I have been together for 2 years. Our entire relationship has been long distance, with me being in Tennessee and he in Kansas. We gotten to see each other regular, as I was a school teacher and got regular breaks to fly out and visit. I ended up spending all of last summer with him. We got engaged on Christmas Day 2010. Initially, we were going to wait until 2012 to get married, but that would’ve meant another year of long distnace or us “living in sin” (I would’ve left my teaching job and moved), but neither of us or our parents were fans of those ideas so we settled on a date for this year. Once I got the venue, everything else was fairly easy. Our wedding is this Saturday and we both can’t wait! 7 months is all we needed!
Stacie
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I…yeah.
I used to think that I would not get married, even though I have a loving partner and we are in a committed relationship. However, I have just found out that my mother has pancreatic cancer, and it’s in Stage 4, which is the “buying time” phase as opposed to “finding a cure”. It’s still too hard to take in.
Apart from the initial denial (“this isn’t happening…this is a nightmare”), all of a sudden I was flooded with anger for the moments I thought I would have which I might not now have; I really want her to be there as I try on wedding dresses, having a laugh and finding “the one”. I wanted to have lunch with her afterwards, and I wanted to buck the trend and have her walk me down the aisle as she had more of a hand raising me than my dad, to be fair…It’s things like that.
So now I almost feel “cheated” from these moments I didn’t even know I wanted, or pressured into getting married soon so I can have those moments…Is that selfish?
Sorry to leave a comment like this – but I would tell everyone that you don’t know what’s around the corner and it can change what you feel almost instantly; everything’s changed for me. Never take anything for granted in this world. I would say, tell everyone how you feel about them all the time. It’s something I do now and it makes a difference.
Becki
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This is such a fun comment log!
I’ve had crazy stories around me! My boyfriend’s grandparents MET and got MARRIED in 6 weeks! They are now going on 55 years of marriage! His parent’s MET and got MARRIED in 6 months! They are going on 25 years of marriage! And now his sister is planning her wedding–and their total engagement is just over 6 months, with some down time! I’m starting to think it is possible if you want it to be!
When I get married one day, I want NOTHING longer than a year–and that is pushing it! But it really all depends on venue’s availability and the budget I’ll be working with! I think this plays a huge factor!
I had two friends that were engaged for 2 years… and the time their wedding came around, they were SO over planning and SO ready to just be married to each other! So it was sweet, but it showed me how annoying (hahaha) wedding planning can be if it is dragged out too much!!
Love wedding talk*
Keri
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This is a super fun discussion. My husband and I were dating for almost 10 years (we were high school sweethearts) before getting engaged. I was so worried that he wouldn’t ever want to get married that when he finally proposed, I was perfectly happy to just be engaged for a while…but that while turned into a year before I even thought about making any wedding plans. When our one-year engagement anniversary came up, Jared was actually the one who told me to stop being silly and just pick a date already. We set a date for 4 months later and had a small and beautiful beach ceremony, complete with a boat captain to marry us!
Jackie
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I don’t think the engagement time matters as much as the dating time before hand. I think 8 months would be the perfect amount of time, long enough to plan without feeling stressed- but not too long where you get antsy.
Dani @ Dani Delicatessen
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My husband and I were engaged for 18 months and for us it was the perfect amount of time. We didn’t view it as a time to prepare for a wedding, but as a time to prepare for a marriage.
We read the five love languages book, we read a book with about 100 questions to ask one another before you get married. We discussed how we would handle finances, kids, and other major issues. We didn’t want to rush into anything.
We both come from divorced families and we wanted to make sure that we were both on the same page that divorce is not an option. It’s not even a consideration. We are in this for the duration, through better AND through worse. And with the current divorce rate and the tendency for so many people to rush into things, we’re really glad with how we did it.
But it’s also what worked for US, we would never claim that anyone has to do it for the same amount of time. It has to feel right for the couple.
Amber K
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We were engaged for a 11 months & 3weeks. My husband wanted 6 months and I wanted a year so we compromised
But I had to finish college and we were very young. We got married when I was 21! We have now been married for 2 years and are blissfully happy 
Emily
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I was engaged for 10 months and it worked well. If we could plan a wedding in 10 months in a place where we didn’t even live (Florida to Ontario, Canada isn’t exactly a short drive!), then I believe you could probably do it in a shorter amount of time living in the town/place you’re getting married.
On the other hand, I guess we did cram a lot in on our trips down to Florida, because we knew we were only there for a limited amount of time, so we tried to use it wisely by booking everything that needed to be booked!
char @ char on a mission
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We will be engaged for 9 months when we get married in September! I think it is a nice length of time. I would never be able to be an 18 month fiance. I would change my mind about too many things and drive myself crazy.
Amanda (modernation)
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We were engaged 18 months. I picked the month of October because there was little going on our families during that time. Maybe a birthday or two. I just didn’t want my day to conflict with a bunch of other activities. I knew I didn’t want to get married during hot weather or rainy weather either. October just seemed the best bet. Which extended our engagement longer then we intended. Roughly a year I think is a good amount of time. We got married in 2000 so it was expected to be a jam packed year. I booked many vendors early which proved awesome since their prices all went up once January 1, 2000 hit. I was locked in with the cheaper prices.
Danielle
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I think it probably depends on the couple. If you want a short engagment, it’s probably because you want to get married and finally begin your life together. But if you want a longer enagment-maybe something’s holding you back. Maybe you don’t really want to get married to that person. It’s just a thought.
Annie
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I was engaged for 5 months before I got married. It was perfect!
Carolyn
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I think I’d want to date for 2-3 years first, then be engaged for around a year. I’m not planning on living with the boy before I get married, so I think a long engagement would give us the best opportunity to prepare for marriage. But in saying that, my parents met and were married within a year, and they’ve been together almost 35 years!
Amanda
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