Sarah’s Story

Circuit style workouts may be my favorite. They’re challenging, super-sweaty and the combination of strength, plyometric and cardio exercises holds my interest and makes the workout fly by.

Today Ryan and I began our workouts with 20 minutes on the elliptical before I went on to tackle this circuit workout:

 

Reps

Exercise

15

Squats

15

Reverse flies

10

Burpees

15

Deadlifts

15

Upright rows

10

Burpees

15

Lunges (each leg)

15

Chest press

10

Burpees

15

Bicep curls

15

Tricep extensions

15

Burpees

60 sec.

Plank hold

I repeated the circuit workout again, substituting 35 seconds of jump rope for the burpees. I completed the circuit again after that for a total of three rounds, only I completely eliminated the burpees and jump roping to focus solely on the strength exercises.

Great workout!

In case you’re looking for additional super sweaty circuit workouts, here are some of my favorites:

Breakfast

Ryan and I made a pit stop at the grocery store on the way home to pick up some jelly because we were both missing the added sweetness on our morning egg sandwiches.

egg cheese jelly sandwich 001

The gooey yolk from the dippy egg added an extra punch of flavor.

egg cheese jelly sandwich 004

egg cheese jelly sandwich 003

Moving right along to the nitty gritty of this post!

An Eye Opening Email

You may remember a post I wrote last week on PBF about a study that was conducted that basically concluded that men prefer brunettes and curvy bodies.

I shared the study and asked you guys to weigh in… to share whether you thought the study was valid, ridiculous or if you were angry that a study like this even existed.

The comments were very interesting and many different opinions were shared and a discussion began in the comments section.

The different viewpoints were mostly respectful… though there were a few that were a little pointed about the bodies of “skinny” women. The women who are naturally thin.

Later that evening, I received an email from a blog reader, Sarah, saying that she was really hurt by some of the comments and I felt absolutely awful. Sarah and I emailed back and forth a few times, discussing her feelings. Her email to me was honestly eye opening.

Knowing how upset she was and how upset other naturally thin women may have been by that post and Sarah’s email really made me sit back and think.

As a “curvier” girl (okay, so I only have curves in my butt – not the boobs), I will admit that I am frequently envious of body types like Sarah’s and other naturally lean women. I think lean, petite bodies are beautiful. I know this sounds awful, but I think that maybe because the body types of these women are looked upon as “enviable” by SO many women, we don’t think these women have insecurities about being thin or small… which is TOTALLY wrong.

I thank Sarah for shedding light on the fact that every woman – no matter WHAT shape or size – can feel insecure at times.

Bottom line: We’re all different, we’re all beautiful and there’s no reason to say degrading things about ANYONE’S shape.

I asked Sarah to share more about her experience as a naturally thin woman to shed some light on the comments and judgments that these women receive regularly. I found her story interesting and thought provoking and thought you guys might as well!

Sarah’s Story

Hello PBF Readers!

My name is Sarah and I’ve been reading Julie’s blog for a while now.  I read whenever I can because I think her blog is a positive outlet for “healthy” discussions about “healthy” things, and because her easy crockpot chicken recipe changed my life (or at least my week day cooking strategies). Which is why I was surprised to leave feeling offended and turned-off after reading a post the other day. The post I am referring to is here.

It wasn’t the post itself that I found offensive, but some of the comments in the discussion. More specifically, some of these comments referred to thin women as scrawny, boyish, and not sexy and suggested that they “go eat a hamburger.”

Let me preface this by saying that I am skinny. I am a size 00, I still wear jeans that I’ve had since high school, and I fly away when the wind blows hard.  Kidding…kind of. In reality, I am a healthy young woman who strives to live a balanced lifestyle. I lift weights 3-4x per week, do a moderate amount of cardio, and balance my carnivorous appetite with fruits and veggies every day. But my whole life, I’ve been made fun of because of my weight. 

haters be hatin'

The teasing started at a young age, innocently enough with my family. My aunt would poke at my ribs, and my grandpa would ask me if I had to dance around in the shower to get wet. I would laugh it off, but deep down, it always bothered me. The teasing got malicious, however, when I got to middle school.  Kids at school, both boys and girls, were so cruel to me, making fun of me to my face about my skinny legs, my small chest, and everything else about my body. I remember one boy actually made up a song about me that he called the anorexia song, and he would sing it when I walked into the classroom.  It was very hard on me, and I would often cry myself to sleep at night.  Although most of the teasing subsided once I got to high school, this treatment caused some deep self-esteem issues that took me many years to overcome. 

To this day, I still get comments, mostly from my family, like “you’re so skinny” or “you need to eat more.” The fact is, I often eat more that my 6 foot, four inch 220 pound fiancé! The most frustrating part is that I know I am perfectly healthy, but I feel the need to constantly defend myself. As I mentioned in my original comment, the problem lies in that there is a negative stigma attached to insulting a woman about being overweight, but people think it’s socially acceptable to insult skinny women about their bodies. And to be honest, I really don’t understand why. I would never, in a million years, ever, insult a woman about being overweight. So why do people feel that it’s OK to tell me my booty is small or give me a dirty look when I turn down a piece of cake?  Don’t tell me to go eat a hamburger; I’ll eat whatever I darn well please, thank you very much!

Comments

  1. Lauren says

    Sarah, I totally agree with you that people think it’s okay to comment on the weight of a thin person, but would not touch the subject of weight with a ten foot pole for someone who is overweight. I don’t get it either.

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    • Lizzy says

      I dont understand all of this tal about people not making comments about overweight women. I’m sorry but when I was growing up I always go teased for being overweight and never heard any thin people getting picked on. Maybe it just where im from but the negative comments go both ways, not just skinny.

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      • says

        I think that what people may mean is that it’s more socially acceptable for adult women to say “you’re so skinny” to a naturally thin woman and question her about selecting a salad at dinner when it seems like people, for the most part, would never say “you’re so fat” and “why would you every order fries with that sandwich” to a woman who is overweight.

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        • Jen says

          Yeah I also wanted to say that it’s one thing to be teased about being “skinny” when your younger – after all your a kid and still growing. Being gangly and not fully developed is expected.

          But when your an adult women who is skinny or very thin – and I don’t mean beautiful Hollywood thin – but still gangly with a flat chest, flat butt, thin face and sharp shoulders…it’s a completely different story. THEN people judge you and immediately peg you as ugly and with an eating disorder.

          It’s shameful – for someone to do that to someone else.

          And SHAMING to the person affected. It makes them feel less than a human being and like crap basically.

          Don’t judge ANYONE , anyone, by appearances. It’s an ugly, ugly, ugly thing to do….

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      • Lauren says

        I guess I should clarify – I think there is a mindset that it’s rude to tease someone for being overweight, but not so much for people who are underweight. When I was growing up I always got teased for being skinny.

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        • Lori says

          It goes both ways, But I know growing up being bigger that I always got teased really bad about my weight. I disagree when you say its rude to make fun larger people so its not done cause I see larger women getting teased a hell of a lot more than thin.

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      • says

        I’ve had the same experience Lizzy. I think people for some reason feel okay to comment on either extreme. My super skinny friends were always getting teasing comments about being so skinny and I often got mean comments about my being obese.

        Honestly, people shouldn’t comment on other people’s bodies at all. If it’s not your body, don’t talk about it.

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        • says

          I was actually just talking to a friend about this the other day. I do find it so bizarre that people will comment on a skinny person’s weight without a second thought (maybe because they think they’re being complimentary?), but it’s not considered rude (or as rude as telling an overweight person to watch what they eat).

          When I went through my weight loss (over 40 lbs in about a year), I was blown away by how many people commented that I was “disappearing,” or how many people insinuated that I had an eating disorder. VERY few people had ever commented on my weight when I was 40 lbs heavier (and way overweight for my 5’2 frame), but suddenly, now that I was at a legitimate healthy weight, it was suddenly fair game in the conversation. So bizarre.

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  2. says

    Having suffered from eating disorders for years, and although on the way to recovery now still being thin attracts unwanted attention. I haven’t been picked on directly but get the envious/disapproving looks from girls and women that like to make snide comments about me being “anorexic”. It’s the common misperception that thin = eating disorder that needs to change as well as people’s lack of understanding of what it actually means to have an eating disorder as it’s far from self starvation or over indulgence which are both mere symptoms of which there are many.

    Really nice to see you taking your comments to heart and allowing Sarah to post a piece and interesting to hear her story. 🙂 Keep up the good work Julie!

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  3. says

    I tend to lean towards thinking people pick out of jealousy, but it doesn’t make it right or less hurtful.

    Thanks for sharing your story!
    though … I must admit, I giggled at your grandfather’s saying of ‘dancing around in the shower to get wet’. Grandparents have the funniest ways of saying things!

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  4. Lindsey says

    Wonderful post! Sarah, I have often felt the same way as you. I am naturally thin and petite (being Asian can do that to you). I honestly have been the same weight since high school, and I couldn’t agree with you more that in society it is taboo to tease a woman for being overweight, but if she is considered “too skinny” then comments can fly! Like you, I maintain a healthy lifestyle, and that can create even more comments. I suppose it’s one thing to be naturally thin and eat chocolate cake for lunch (people assume you have a “good metabolism”), but it’s another to be thin and conscious of your health. if I had a dime for everytime someone asked me how much I weighed, why I work out so often, that I should eat a steak not a salad, etc… I would seriously be a millionaire.

    I agree with Julie that we are all beautiful! Thin girls, unite 🙂

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  5. Melissa says

    Julie – I love that you really thought about Sarah’s reaction and asked her to publish this! What a great dialogue 🙂

    100% agree with Sarah we have a double standard about this. And just because other people envy a thin frame doesn’t mean you just get to comment on someone’s frame in a ‘positive’ negative way. I’m naturally thin as well (OO petite represent!) and am also gluten-intolerant so at nearly EVERY work function where we have cookies/pizza/cake etc I can’t eat anything and I get so paranoid people assume I have an eating disorder:( It’s definitely frustrating!

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  6. says

    Good for you Sarah! My mom is actually super thin as well. She is about 5′ 6″ and maybe 105 lb. She has just always been thin! My sister is the same way…and girls in high school were SO mean to her (mostly because she is also quiet and pretty).

    Don’t let comments bother you…you know who you are and that is all that matters. A lot of mean comments come from those who are insecure about themselves…we ALL have insecurities, and with all the hate in the world, we women have to stick together!

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  7. Annie says

    this was amazing. thank you sarah, for sharing your thoughts and the issues you deal with. i think judgement of any kind, especially woman to woman, just serves to further degrade ourselves. i hope some people, mainly those making those nasty remarks, are able to learn from this, and (as my mother would say) “dip your tongue in your brain before you speak [or type].”

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  8. Melanie says

    Sarah, your story completely resonates with me! I am also naturally thin, and I feel like I constantly have to defend myself even though I know that I take good care of my body. It seems that many people think that commenting on one’s thinness is a compliment, but when I receive these comments I end up feeling very self-conscious. I admire women with curvy bodies and often wish I were more voluptuous, but that doesn’t mean I would put them on the spot by commenting on it. We all strive for some sort of ideal, thin women included. Thank you for sharing your story- it helps me to hear that others have the same struggles as me!

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  9. says

    What an awesome post!

    You are SO right about women of any size having insecurities. I always thought that there was no way someone super skinny could be insecure about how they look, until recently. I’ve realized that EVERYONE has insecurities, just we all have them at different levels and we’re all insecure about different things. So if we all have insecurites, what good is it to pick on eachother all the time?

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  10. says

    Sarah – Thank you for sharing and allowing Julie the opportunity to present your side. I think the emphasis overall needs to be taken off of numbers (size, weight, etc) and be placed on health. If you are living a balanced and healthy life, then you shouldn’t ever be made to feel like you need to explain yourself or defend your numbers.

    The Kidless Kronicles
    Wag More, Bark….

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  11. says

    Sarah, thank you for sharing your side of the story! No matter what our body type we are all insecure about things. Although my first thought with someone as skinny as you would be, “Lucky! She can eat whatever and not have to constantly worry about gaining weight” (which is something that’s always on my own mind about myself and that I’m trying to get past), but we always need to think about walking a mile in someone else’s shoes. Sure, you could eat more food than me, but on the other side you are getting constantly teased! The grass is always greener on the other side – we all just need to love the bodies God gave us and not put others down!

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  12. says

    As another note, I recently caught an episode of Big Sexy and was very troubled by the show. I am all for people of any size being confident, happy, having self-esteem. But nowhere in this show did they talk about what these women do to stay healthy. It was all about loving being large and not wanting to be “skinny” but nothing about exercise, eating, health, etc. I found the message to be somewhat confusing and incomplete.

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    • stevie says

      I noticed the same thing. It was odd to me. In my opinion, they made it seem like being overweight or obese is the right choice, if you can help it. Or maybe that they were trying to rebel the idea of the “ideal women”by being obese? When in all seriousness it’s actually dangerous to your health and can cause a host of other problems. Embracing that is scary.

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  13. Tracy @ Tracy's Treats says

    I totally agree with Sarah. I think it’s strange that in our society, we generally keep our mouths shut and look away when we see the morbidly obese, yet readily gawk at those who are thin. I have been small and petite my entire life, and when I was younger (and very skinny) I would constantly be told to eat more…even though I already ate so much!! Now I embrace my size!

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    • Lizzy says

      I disagree, I think society opens their mouth more when it comes to the obese. I am an overweight woman (trying to lose weight) and I get told all the time to to eat less, so it goes both ways, I’ve always heard obese people getting nasty comments way more than any thin person. Its a shame we cant just all love each other for the people we are, it all has to be about the way we look.

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      • Sarah says

        I think that this just goes to show that you never really know what other people are going through. Judgement and mean comments are every where, and I think the most important thing is to learn how to rise above it. In the words of the Jersey Shore, “you do you!”

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    • Jordan says

      Tracy, why would you say “we generally keep our mouths shut and look away when we see the morbidly obese…”? This whole comment thread and post is about accepting people for the way they are; however, when you see a morbidly obese person you have to look away? Because that doesn’t make anyone struggling with their weight feel even more awkward? Wrong. As someone who has struggled with my weight my whole 22 years, it makes me feel even more insecure when I see someone look at me and then try and avoid making eye contact, and i’m not even “morbidly obese.” It’s hurtful. Just thought you might want another point of view from someone who ISN’T naturally thin.

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      • says

        “it makes me feel even more insecure when I see someone look at me and then try and avoid making eye contact, and i’m not even “morbidly obese.””

        THIS. Actually most morbidly obese people do get gawked at. People stare at extremely obese people all the time… and then avoid eye contact. Maybe people stare at super skinny people too, but they are much more likely to actually acknowledge a skinny person than an obese person. It’s sad and if you are obese it makes you feel insecure and horrible. Promise.

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        • says

          I just had to reply to this! I think Tracey worded it wrong but I feel as if what she was saying was to their face skinny people get it more. and I don’t think in a rude way but people say “EAT MORE… go shove a burger you stick , yada yada yada and when they eat salads they get pointed at for an eating disorder or something.” Versus heavier people ( I mean this in a non rude way, Everyone takes everything rudely! haha!) don’t really get told “STOP EATING so freaking MUCH you pig!” to their face. People say negative things about BOTH heavy and thin when they are extreme, and most defintily behind backs but to their face I think people think its more “right” to call thin people out. If this makes sense.

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  14. says

    I’m glad Sarah e-mailed you. I consider my body type the epitome of average. I’m not skinny and I’m not heavy, but I have been envious of naturally “skinny girls” for as long as I can remember. I never would have thought that a smaller woman would have insecurities about being thin! Thanks for sharing your perspective, Sarah!

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    • says

      what she said.

      no, but really… I was just about to comment everything homegirl Colleen said. after growing into my lanky body in high school and ever since being not too skinny, but not heavy, I’ve always tried to embrace my curves.

      bottom line, NONE of us will ever have what WE think is the “perfect” body. everyone always wants what they don’t have. 🙂

      I’ve always been envious of the girls who are so skinny with daily doses of chicken nuggets and fries! maybe that’s where the teasing lies? it’s all jealousy, girlfriend!

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        • Sarah says

          LOL. But I love lettuce wraps too! That’s part of it…even tho I could eat crap all of the time and not gain weight, I wouldn’t be HEALTHY. I like taking care of my body with healthy foods and exercise, regardless of how much I weigh. Plus, after all that eating, you really just get sick of chewing 😉

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  15. says

    My mother-in-law has always been extremely thin and was always made fun of growing up. She has always told me that it was just as hard to be unusually thin as it is to be unusually heavy. I do think that most people do it out of jealousy because most women are insecure about even the teensiest bit of extra flub. It’s a really sad commentary that no matter what size we are, society doesn’t seem to encourage us to be very nice to ourselves or others when it comes to body image.

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    • Stephanie says

      This is so true. Anything diverging from the “norm” (whatever THAT is) causes people to stare and comment. I’ve been picked on, and I’ve been ignored to the point of feeling like I blended in with a wall. I’m not sure what’s worse anymore.

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      • says

        I don’t think even those who fit in the “norm” are exempt from ridicule, though we may get it a little less often. I think whatever your size and shape, there will be someone who has a problem with it, unfortunately. When you’re thin, the bigger people resent you for it. When you’re big, the little people insult you for it. I’m sort of in the middle, at a normal weight, and I still get flack occassionally from people who are overweight. I think women can be especially unkind to one another, in general. I was thinking about writing about that, actually, but I’m still sort of forming my thoughts.

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        • Stephanie says

          (It just took me 10 minutes to find this comment lol!)

          I think that’s exactly what I mean. There really isn’t a normal body type, and people can be so cruel when you vary from their “norm”, whether they decide you should be larger or smaller (or even if they’re just jealous). I can’t even just limit it to women anymore, even though you are absolutely right about women being especially unkind at times…I think there are just people out there who like making others feel bad (maybe it makes them feel better for a minute, which is sad).

          And this rambled a lot, so I hope you understand what I mean. And if/when you do write about this, I’d love to read it!

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  16. says

    I think its really interesting and eye opening to hear this side of the story. I have never been naturally skinny or thin so I honestly never knew what it felt like to be on the other side of the coin.

    I think our society is so use to defending their size and not their health which has gotten us all out of wack. We all need to take a step back and concentrate on our own health instead of others.

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  17. says

    I love this post! I think that so many people look at thin women and think that being super small is better than being overweight, when in reality I think the struggles are often much the same. I’m a thin girl, and always have been. I was always one of the smallest in my class and can remember numerous times when the hostess at a restaurant would ask if I needed a childrens menu when I was 16. My family would laugh it off, but it was very embarrassing for me. I always had a hard time finding clothes, everything always looked too big and I hated it. I even tried drinking weight gainer mixed with ice cream to gain weight in hs. It just isn’t the way my body works. I’ve come a long way to be happy in my own skin, but it’s still not always easy. I think the most important thing to realize is that we ALL have insecurities, and they are real for us no matter what they are. All women are beautiful in their own individual ways, and we need to lift each other up and embrace our differences.

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    • Sarah says

      LOL at the weight gainer in icecream. I got mono in highschool and lost 10 lbs off my already tiny frame. My dad would pick me up every day after school and we would stop at Sonic to get me a milkshake. My sister was so jealous, but after a while, I couldn’t even stand the smell of milkshakes 🙂

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  18. Amanda says

    THANK YOU FOR THIS! I couldn’t agree more. I’m so tired of people telling me I need to gain weight or calling me “skinny minny”! I eat 6 times a day, my metabolism is high and I’m thin. Get over it. 🙂

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  19. Lauren says

    Great post Julie and Sarah!!!!! It’s so nice to hear someone else tell it like it is! I’ve never understood why people think because you’re naturally thin that you should eat unhealthy foods, but some people definitely do! Just because I’m thin, doesn’t mean I don’t want my body to eat healthy, nutritious food! I don’t want to live (everyday, at least ;)) on pizza and cookies! I want to be healthy! Way to go girls!

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    • says

      It seems like what you just said really hits the nail on the head. I bet a lot of naturally very thin women feel pressure to eat dessert or order fries instead of fruit because of the judgment from others. caring about your health is about a lot more than caring about your weight!

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      • Anna Crouch says

        YES! I struggle with this VERY often. Although I’m of average height (5’5″), I naturally have a very petite frame (i.e. my hand easily wraps around my wrist). Thus, I often feel very pressured to eat when indulgent type foods are around. Sometimes I hate going to bridal and baby showers because all there is to eat there is JUNK! And while I think it’s okay to have a few snacky junk foods, I’m not going to fill my entire plate with crap. Yet, it never fails that when I just choose a few pieces to snack on, instead of overindulging, I get numerous comments. “Come on…live a little!” or “You know, a few treats won’t hurt you.” or “Gees, no wonder you’re so skinny….” or “Are you not hungry or something?” I feel like I constantly need to defend my food choices, because people are so focused on and concerned with what I’m eating. But then when a “normal” sized, or overweight woman has the same plate as me, no one even notices or takes a second glance. What I have learned, though, is that my confidence doesn’t come from what people think of me. I know that I don’t deprive myself; I know that I’m healthy; I know that I treat my body with respect, and that’s all that matters. If other women want to read into it, that’s not my problem.

        Along with that, as a few other women are saying as well, there are some downsides to being naturally small. It’s funny that people say they are envious of thin women, but I can attest that thin women are sometimes jealous of others! Oh, what I would give to be able to shop in the WOMEN’S department. What I would give to have some age appropriate clothing! And shirts that can’t be pulled out a foot away from my chest. What I would give to fit into a bra outside of the little girls department! Or even find a pair of women’s SOCKS that fit!!!!!! lol

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        • Shayla @ The Good Life says

          I struggle with this all the time too! I’m thin and so when I choose to have a salad because that’s what I actually enjoy eating for lunch, I’m ridiculed by my coworkers and they always say rolling their eyes, “oh a salad again?!” Or, “c’mon eat a hamburger or steak! You can afford it!” I really don’t appreciate these comments – especially since I have a past of disordered eating struggles.

          I’m at a healthy weight and I pride myself on feeding my body nutritious healthy food. I don’t think it’s right that my coworkers feel it’s necessary to say comments like that to me. I would never do the opposite and tell them to eat a salad or comment on their eating habits. Very frustrating, but in the end I think it just all boils down to jealousy and no one should comment about other people’s bodies or food choices, it’s their decision!

          Thank you so much Sarah for sharing your story and Julie for this awesome post. It feels good to know that we can all come together and talk about this! 🙂

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        • Jenn says

          I wouldn’t assume that only thin women get this type of reaction. Especially when we’re dieting, us larger women get comments from the food police all the time. Either questioning whether we should eat what we chose to eat or telling us, like you said, that it won’t kill us to just have a little cake (if we tried to make healthy choices).

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      • Julie says

        Julie, thank you so much for this post. I also struggle with feeling pressure to “overindulge” so people do not think I am some health freak. I’m naturally petite as well, so it was such a humbling experience to know that there are other women out there that feel the same pressure as me. I just started reading your blog about a week ago, and it has already had an impact on my life (I also bought protein powder and a blender last night when I was at the grocery store ha).

        PS: Love your name! lol. Not often I meet another Julie.

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        • Andrea says

          I agree completely! I too am naturally thin and I often feel pressure from others to finish everything on my plate (especially when eating out at a restaurant) even when I’m stuffed, just so they won’t make snarky comments!

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  20. says

    Hi Julie! I just started to read your blog a few weeks ago and I can honestly say it sets such a positive tone for my day! I love this post! When I was younger I got the SAME thing all throughout school and from my parents about being TOO skinny, and then when I graduated high school I packed on the pounds after living on fast food and frozen pizzas… I went from a size 0 to a size 6 quickly. I thought it was funny that the same people who criticized me for being TOO skinny were now criticizing me for being TOO fat… AT A SIZE 6! These days I’m at a healthy size 4 and can’t complain, but I realize that you can never please society-you and Sarah are right-women come in all shapes and sizes, and are all beautiful, and we should all remind ourselves of that daily!

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  21. says

    I don’t consider myself naturally thin, I definitely have a butt on me, but I have one mean commenter that always refers to me as a “little boy” and talks about how my ex broke up with me because he wants a real women with curves and boobs. That definitely hurts – it’s crazy how awful women are to each other and how some people envy what other women find awful.

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    • says

      Clare, I read your blog and you are not “little boy” in the slightest!! I think it’s awful that someone would write that and then say something in regards to your previous significant other. Who do people think they are? I know we are “online” but come on…that is no excuse to not use a social filter and monitor what we say to one another just as we would in real life.

      Let me stir the pot a little…Claire, Julie, Clare…we all got booties let’s embrace it! Hehe 🙂

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  22. says

    This was a great post! I think Sarah is so right when she (and you, Julie) highlighted that women of all body shapes can be insecure about how they look.

    Re: Circuits – I love em too! I just posted my most recent fave and love how circuits can get your heart rate up and strengthen muscles at the same time!

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  23. says

    My best friend has the same issue as Sarah, she too is smaller than a size 0. She shops in the little kids department because she can’t find clothes that fit. It has baffled me by how mean people are to her thinking she must starve herself. The reality of it is that like Sarah she eats more than the average man but has a very fast metabolism. This has also caused her to have crazy complications when pregnant with both her children. She had to be on bed rest at 3 months and eat stuff like cheesecake batter to get enough calories and still didn’t couldn’t carry to term. We need to remember everyone has their struggles and we shouldn’t presume to know what anyone is going through.

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  24. says

    WOW; loved this post, Julie!

    Sarah, It must get exhausting having to ‘prove’ you actually eat to everyone when, in reality, it’s none of their stinkin’ business!

    I can definitely see how that constant attention on your weight would be tiring and annoying. So glad you got to speak your mind!

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  25. says

    Once I was sitting in the bar area of a Legal Seafood to have dinner after a shopping evening. There are these long community tables, and after a short while two middle aged women sat done a few seats next to me to do the same, have a quick dinner. I think one of the woman, a more full-figured one, was ‘offended’ by me being ‘skinny’. Anyways, it was difficult to not overhear their conversation since we were at the same table, and I could hear phrases like “I will order this, because…. do I look like a freak’ anorexic?” with a look in my direction hurled in my way.

    I must say I was stunned. Such spite! It was kind of clear this was a slightly overweight person turning the tables; instead of admitting she could loose a few pounds she made me the freak object.

    But you know, in the end you just have to see through this behavior. It is obviously a person not happy with her weight, otherwise she would be at peace and leave other people alone.

    It still felt kind of unfair/hurtful to be mislabeled like that.

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    • says

      I’m sorry, I read every day and never usually comment, but THIS comment: “instead of admitting she could loose a few pounds she made me the freak object. ”

      is EXACTLY what the problem is. How are you any less at fault for your comment now then how they were making you feel? Why did she “have to lose a few pounds?” because you felt she was over weight? What if she was perfectly healthy (which is possible), and just larger then you?

      I don’t think what they did was right, but you clearly are in the wrong too. You said it hurt to be mislabeled like that, but you did it as well to her!

      We shouldn’t be judging anyone by how they look, most of the time you can.not.tell. how healthy someone is by looking at them. End of story. EVEN the “over weight” or those who could “lose a few pounds”

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      • Sarah says

        Jessica, I have to say I agree with you. I think that Silvia’s comment was a defense mechanism, the same as the girl who was judging her at the bar.

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        • says

          I was not interested in her, I did not judge her, I did not hurl comments into her direction, and I don’t ever judge anyone with regard to their shape and size, not even if they are morbidly obese or anorexic.

          She did not admit TO HERSELF that she was unhappy with her body and weight because otherwise she would have not incessantly talked about food, what to eat, what not to eat, should she eat, was it worth it,could she afford it, the whole meal through and made her feeling of guilt and conflict so obvious. So, she was not ok with herself and in the by-process hurled comments around anyone who in her eyes might secretly judge her (I did not) for her choices (and was obviously thin and must judge her). She was clearly uncomfortable with herself. The “she could loose a few pounds” was in her mind, not in mine because I could care less and I don’t know her.

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  26. Holly @ The Runny Egg says

    Sarah — thanks for sharing your story here. I love that people come in different shapes and sizes, it makes us all unique and it bothers me that there are people who think they can comment negatively about someone’s appearance. Obviously if there is a health concern, I’m all for talking to someone, but otherwise, why judge? Sorry to read that you’ve dealt with this for a long time.

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  27. Briana says

    Thank you thank you thank you for posting this! When I read the comments from the brunettes and curves post I felt the same way as Sarah. It’s very true that it is socially acceptable to make negative comments towards skinny women and that’s not okay. I constantly struggle with defending my weight and that I DON’T have an eating disorder. Friends always say I look too skinny and it’s not a compliment, it actually hurts! I have been thin and lanky my entire life. I’m jealous of other women who have beautifully toned arms and backs because I simply don’t have the muscle structure to build muscle like that! Julie, I truly appreciate you posting this and opening up the discussion further. You’re a great writer 🙂

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  28. says

    Loved this post! I definetly feel the same way sometimes!! I am very short and tiny for my age, and have had to deal with alot of negativity as well. But thats the way it has been my whole life. It was very refreshing to read this, thanks 🙂

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  29. says

    What a great post – thanks for sharing Sarah!

    Growing up I was overweight/obese and was teased viciously by classmates all through public school which inevitably had a severe effect on my self-esteem. In turn, I would eat my feelings which only contributed to my weight issues and health problems.

    Over the past few years I have lost quite a bit of weight so I could lead a healthier life. I used portion control, cardio and strength training and lost weight slowly to help ensure I could maintain the weight loss. The benefits have been tremendous: more energy, improved immune system, and clothes fit a lot better!
    The downside, however, has been the comments I receive from family and friends about my weight loss such as “you’re wasting away!” and “where did you disappear too?” They don’t seem to care much that I am healthier than I was before and am much happier with my new approach to lfie. For the record, I’m between a size 4 and 6, my BMI is right in the middle of the healthy range for my height (5’7″), I have curves, I run, and I do strength training so have some muscle tone. I also eat a lot. And apparently this all means that I am “too skinny” and “wasting away.”

    We live in a society that has normalized obesity, has glamourized being “skinny” but also seems to think it is okay to pass judgment and publicly comment on other people’s bodies, regardless of how hurtful, idiotic, and baseless those comments can be.
    This is one of the reasons why I joined the healthy living blogging community; it provides me with a support system of people who have similar goals as I do and approach life similarly to me. It is so much easier to deal with the negative comments when I know that there are so many other people out there who will cheer me on in support but will also express concern if there is a legitimate reason to do so. It doesn’t always make the negative comments hurt less, but it does help me to move on in a positive manner.

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  30. says

    As a whole, our society has completely distorted views on what is healthy and what is “normal.” I love that you brought Sarah’s story to light because no one is safe from peer bullying when it comes to what you weigh, what you wear, and who you look!

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  31. Katie says

    My best friend and I frequently have this conversation. She is “naturally” small. She has a small chest and a very small build and when she complains about her legs being rubbing together I tell her that she must think
    I am obese being that I am 4 inches taller than her and obviously heavier. I am a very average build and like any woman I see areas of my body that i would like to change. It is always so eye opening to me to have a 100 pound friend who feels the same way as I do, even if she is 3 sizes smaller than I am. Everyone has their own body image problems and I know how Sarah feels because my best friend often feels the same way! Thanks for sharing!!

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  32. says

    Thanks for telling your story Sarah, I envy your courage to share your story with the blogger world! As long as you feel comfortable in your own body and your fiance/ husband to be loves you for you than forget about all those haters out there! 🙂

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  33. says

    You are awesome, Sarah and I love your attitude! 🙂
    You keep it up and keep loving yourself for being you. Knowing you are healthy is all that matters. I completely understand how others words can get to us, but ignoring it and believing in you is the only way to be!

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  34. says

    Thank you for sharing Sarah. When I was thin my family made fun of me and told me I needed to gain weight or just be sticks and bones. Kids at school were rude.

    I gained weight with a lot of health issues and people made fun of me for it a lot then. Even after I stared losing weight to be a healthy weight people told me I was “getting to skinny” and should eat more.

    The focus totally being one weight and appearance bothers me because me because I’m much more than it all. I’ve gained and lost due to poor diet and exercise but all due to extreme health issues I can’t control.

    Focus on me and base judgement on me.

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  35. Lori says

    There are an awful lot of comments on here about how society thinks its ok to say something about a thin person, yet wont about an obese person and I’m just wondering what planet you all live on cause its not like that on mine. For the most part obese women get it so much worse than thin women. Theres article in every gossip magazine about kirsty alley being huge, etc. Its unfair that as an overweight woman I cant dress cute because there are no cute clothes in my size. I get judged when I walk into a store (that dosnt sell my size) to buy something. I wont go to the mall unless I absolutely need something because of all of the looks and comments I get. I once went prom dress shopping with a friend that was thin and this lady came and complimented my friend that she was so cute and then turned to me and said “you’re a little cute too, you’re just a little bigger.” Right in front of my friend, in the mall. I was mortified. I left and went straight home and cried. I understand what you are saying about peolpe making insensitive comments, but it goes both ways, but for the most part it goes big.

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    • M says

      I agree. Being very thin is generally more accepted by society than being even a tiny bit overweight. Look at the jersey shore as a microcosm of society… We may not all be guidos but there sure are a lot of people who act just like them when out at a bar/club/frat party–you never hear them calling a girl too thin… She’s always a hippopotamus, a water buffalo, a beast, a swamp creature, or simply a “fat girl” (when the girls are just average and not even overweight!) Never is anyone called a bean pole or a twig. it doesn’t mean that being called anorexic is NOT hurtful, I just think people are MUCH quicker to call someone fat than they are too thin. And a lot of thetimes, the too thin comment is out of jealousy, whereas the fat comment is out of pure disgust (and evident on their faces). It’s messed up.

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    • Sarah says

      I agree. I guess maybe my perception is that people definitely make comments about over weight women behind their backs, but are more than open about making comments to a skinny women to her face. But again, that’s my perception. It’s actually ironic, but while I am underweight and experience that side of the spectrum, my sister, whom I love and adore more than anything, struggles with being obese. It’s just the genetic hands we were dealt. I see the struggles that she goes through every day, and it’s really hard for me to see her unhappy. I would never make a degrading comment to my sister about her weight. But she has always teased me about mine. I know that it comes from a place of insecurity which is why I just take it, but really, I don’t think it’s fair for her to make comments like that to me. But my experience with this is why I have the perception that I do.

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  36. says

    THANK YOU to Julie and Sarah for posting this!!!!!!!!!

    I am an overweight (okay, obese) gal, and am very frustrated at times with how the “healthy living” and “fat acceptance” communities can bash thin women.

    Just a few weeks ago I was outraged by a post insulting skinny women for saying they have curves. As if “having curves” means you have to be overweight. BLARG. I digress.

    I think all women deserve to be honored, loved, and respected no matter if they’re a size 00 or 28. We are all human beings. I love both of your positive attitudes, and commend both of you for stepping forward on this issue!!!

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  37. Rachel says

    Thank you for sharing your story, Sarah! I am sorry that you had to endure such hurtful comments over something so personal that is obviously out of your control. My mom is naturally very thin too, but she has never talked about being picked on for it, so it’s honestly not something I had considered a lot.

    Body-wise I am totally different than you. I’m 5’10” and am currently an 8-10, a size I’ve had to work really hard to get to. I’m at a healthy weight & BMI for my height (I have almost reached my goal), and I generally feel confident and happy. Sometimes my confidence gets shot down (like when random strangers at work ask if I’m pregnant after I’ve already lost 40 lbs), and I’m sorry to say that my reaction is to be jealous of naturally thin girls and wish that I could be in their shoes. I have never made a hurtful comment to a thin women, but for those comments you’ve received, please consider that it’s very likely coming from a place of jealousy.

    In my opinion, living a healthy, active, balanced life is the most important thing, and it’s what makes me feel beautiful. I hope it makes you feel beautiful too!

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  38. says

    I just don’t understand why kids (and people in general) can be so malicious. It breaks my heart that things that happen in our childhood can tear us apart for the rest of our lives. I’ve dealt with comments about my nose since I was in 3rd grade and have never wanted anything more than to get it fixed! It’s not something I talk about with anyone except close family and friends because I don’t like bringing any more attention than it already does.

    I am sorry to any naturally skinny girl I have ever made comments to! It has never been out of malice and always a compliment, but Sarah’s perspective made me realize that they may have not been taken as a compliment! I have always admired the body type and think it is so graceful and beautiful! I grew up around a lot of tiny ballerinas and always envied their beauty!

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  39. Geraldine says

    I think it’s great that you and Julie have highlighted that women’s shapes, skinny or not shouldn’t be a target for negativity. I think there are so many images and magazine articles out there focusing on who’s “too curvy” or “too skinny” that we’ve become de-sensitised to how women’s bodies are talked about, scrutinised and judged.

    P.S My grandmother once told my sister she was “A fine STOUT girl” which my sister (and I) interpreted as old people talk for “fat”. In my Granny’s eyes she was paying her a compliment but it gave my sister a massive weight complex.

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  40. Kristi says

    I think everyone no matter what size they may be will always feel like they are being “targeted” at some point. It may be because they are too big, skinny, short, tall…but in some point of their life someone is going to make a comment. (usually because the attacker is insecure themselves!).

    But, Sarah, I can totally relate to you being called too thin. Throughout school I was made fun of for being too skinny. While I don’t think anyone ever came out and called me anorexic, I still was told that I should eat more. When someone called me “bony face” I was so hurt! I just ignore comments now…as long as your happy and healthy..that’s all that matters!

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    • sonia says

      DUH Julie.. your ass is suppose to be bigger than your chest… your chest is just non existent so thats why its three sizes larger……. lol… Anyways when you say you envy those skinny ladies.. you are making the curvier women feel bad when you are just stick thin and what makes some women think?

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      • says

        my intent is never to hurt or offend anyone. i was trying to express that i envy the bodies of other women just like many women out there. i also envy the bodies of women who are “curvier” as you put it, but this post was about the “skinny” women.

        i really do appreciate your concern about me possibly making others feel bad when that is never what i hope to do here, but your comments (below and here) about me, my shape and my chest clearly have no regard for my feelings.

        the whole point of this post is that we should never try to bring each other down, but rather encourage and empower each other. i’m sorry if this post upset you and you missed the point, but i’m hoping it will make people out there – myself included – step back and think before they say degrading things.

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      • Annie says

        seems like you should stop worrying about how julie classifies her body, and start paying more attention to your inability to participate in healthy discussion without being offensive and ignorant.

        internet trolls… truly pitiful people.

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  41. sonia says

    uhhhh you are not on the “curvier” side. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? You are flat as a board… I guess little lumps count as curves in your head??

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    • Lori says

      That was a very rude comment sonia. Not to mention if you read correctly Julie said “As a “curvier” girl (okay, so I only have curves in my butt – not the boobs.)”

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    • Annie says

      …are you serious with this comment? you completely missed the entire point of her post.

      i know you try to ignore negative comments, julie, but i find it hard to ignore them sometimes. i think bullies need to be confronted, and people who leave idiotic comments should be confronted just the same.

      “sonia,” get your head out of your ass.

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    • Anna Crouch says

      O.M.G. Come on………. Julie….you’re not as flat as a board. LOL I’m not saying this out of insecurity, just in confident honesty….but you should see me!! If I don’t wear a padded bra, I AM as flat as a board. (and I’m not ashamed or embarrassed about it….that’s just how it is!!!!) You have beautiful curves. And even if you didn’t, you’d still be hott, in your own way, shape and form!!! I know you know this….just don’t let STUPID comments get in the way.

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    • says

      Wow, Sonia.

      You’ve just given us a perfect example women hating other women. Your negativity and cruelty towards Julie is compeltely uncalled for. I sincerely hope you take the time to be more positive in your life. You’ll feel better about yourself, and stop hurting others.

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  42. says

    Thank you for sharing this! My neighbor and one of my best friends has a similar story to Sarah’s, but before I met her, I never understood that the ridicule and teasing went both ways. Well…maybe I did, I guess I just didn’t realize it hurt someone’s feelings who was thin. I think I just figured they didn’t mind because they were thin and isn’t that what we all want to be? Well, obviously, I have learned alot from her and now from Sarah too. My friend is currently training for her first half marathon and instead of support, most of the comments she gets when she tells people go something like “Why are you RUNNING, you are already skinny”…But she is trying to help people understand that healthy is something that everyone wants to achieve and “skinny” doesn’t always mean healthy.

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  43. says

    Thanks for sharing Sarah’s story Julie, it’s nice to hear the other side of the story which unfortunately doesn’t get as much attention. Sarah, thanks for standing up for yourself and sharing with us all! I think what it comes down to is that it’s unfortunate anyone feels the need to make fun of other people in general whether they’re skinny, overweight, short or tall. Too bad people can’t channel that effort and energy into something productive.

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  44. says

    This is a great post.

    We all have our insecurities. No matter what, a person will always find fault with themselves & envy another person for something they have. I understand both sides of the argument here — people are either “picked on” or singled out for being “too fat” or “too thin.” It seems like no matter what is said or done, there is always going to be a struggle between the two.

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  45. EBlog says

    Thank you both for posting this! I am very underweight and have been all of my life. I have felt all of my life that I can never be “good enough” and I would get comments from my family and inlaws that I was “too thin” I even had a manager at one of my jobs when I was younger start a rumor that I was anorexic just because I felt sick one day at work! I was wanting a curvy body so bad that I ate the most fattening foods I could think of which included hardly anything but candy and fast food! This caused me even more problems and I ended up losing weight rapidly despite what I was eating and I really ruined my digestive system and insides. I still have malabsorption problems 3 years later but I have changed my way of eating to whole foods and no gluten, and I have come to grips with how I look in the mirror now and I learned that I will never be “curvy” and that’s OK, and I do the best with the body God gave me, and if people comment about me I make sure to speak up, instead of laughing it off!

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  46. says

    Thank you so much for sharing your story Sarah!
    For some reason it as become acceptable to judge other people and define them: we have come to think we can figure out who a certain person is and what they are going trhough just by looking at them; and in a world were dieting and aiming for a perfect body, people automatically think that if someone is skinny it’s because they have chosen to and automatically define them as “having an eating disorder”. Same thing happens for over weight people: we assume they cannot control themselves in front of food or are too lazy to be active. We never stop and think that we were all born with different bodies: some people may just be skinny or have a fast metabolism, while other people, whom eat healthy and are active, might be overweight because that’s the way there metabolism and body work.

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  47. Julia says

    I definitely identify with Sarah’s story. I am very thin (but somehow still have a ghetto booty, thanks genetics!) and I felt like some commenters were bashing skinny girls. I commented that I felt like the specific size standard given in that post might not be accurate for all body types and someone commented back in a way that made me feel attacked as though I was doing something wrong by defending the “skinny” (I hate that word) but healthy women. It was good to see you acknowledge that perspective.

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    • Julia says

      Also, as someone who is 5’10” I feel like I should add that thin and petite is not the only naturally thin type though that’s what many commenters seem to be mentioning. As a tall women I feel like I am called out even more for being so thin and I find it offensive because I am very healthy, very active, and my BMI is in the bottom of the healthy range. It just seems to strike people more and make them even more ready to comment when you are thin AND tall.

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  48. says

    ILOVE this post Sara! I’m not a naturally rail thin girl at all, but I Have cousins who are. My grandma always promised my cousin she would bake her a cake when she hit 80 pounds. That was in High school for her. I was a little chubby as a kid, so I envied this. Now, I live a healthy lifestyle and I guess Can be considered skinny. I am happier With my new eating habits And such, but a lot of people now say I am too skinny just Because I used to eat fast food, drink whole chocolate milk multiple times daily, and my favorite dinners Were potatoes fried in crisco. This was not healthy, and Now I am healthy, but am criticized for this Because I “lost weight when I wasn’t fat.” I fuel my body with what feels right for me. People do not realize That saying someone Is too skinny is like telling a recovered anorexic that they are too fat.

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  49. says

    I think this really showcases just how cruel life can be for absolutely everyone. I think if everyone was able to tell their story it would not be complete without at least some instance when someone else said or did something hurtful to them in regards to their appearance. It seems that it really doesn’t matter how big, small, short or tall you are, EVERYONE has insecurities and EVERYONE deals with them differently. Unfortunately many people deal with them by taking it out on others. Most people want what they don’t have and instead of learning to love what they have been blessed with they turn their negativity outwards. Pitiful really.

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  50. says

    I’m glad you posted this! That original post and the comments made me kind of uncomfortable. It sort of reminded me of the whole “real women have curves” thing. It draws this dichotomy that you either have to be an hourglass figure (of any size) or waifishly thin to be attractive. Makes me feel like crap because no matter how thin or heavy I am, I have an athlete’s body, I’ll never be waifish or have curves, So does that mean no guy thinks I’m hot? Or that I’m not a “real woman” because I don’t have curves? I know intellectually that the answer is no…but it still makes me feel bad when I hear things like that. I wish women’s mags and other sources would stop writing articles about celebrating curves or fnding the right skirt to minimize your butt. It just categorizes women and sort of forces a competiation. Let’s just accept that we are all studs no matter what our body type!

    I can also relate to the email in this post. I am not super skinny–a size 6 and 5’8″ but I’m not curvy at all so I think it makes me appear skinnier than I actually am- and people always comment on my weight. People at work are always telling me to eat more, or to stop being a vegetarian or to workout less. Drives me bonkers because they quite clearly don’t lead a healthy lifestyle. I’m NOT skinny, I’m just healthy and not overweight.

    Umm….that’s a really long comment, sorry! 😉 I really appreciate you posting this followup Julie!

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  51. Blair says

    This is SO true, and something I’ve experienced myself. It’s so bizarre how it’s socially acceptable to poke fun at people who are:
    -naturally thin
    -naturally tall
    -health-conscious (how many times have you gotten the eye roll from friends along with “She’s just a health NUT.”)
    -blonde

    I would never dream of saying anything to somebody who is overweight, below average in height, a junk-food fanatic, or a brunette. But somehow, it doesn’t seem to work the other way around.

    Thank’s for sharing your story Sarah. 🙂

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  52. Nicole says

    Ok….I love you and I love this blog but lets be real. You are not curvy, LOL! Do not get me wrong, I think you are super healthy and you look amazing and shouldn’t change a thing…but you are not curvy. We all have body issues and label ourselves one way or another but how about we just say we are beautiful just the way we are!

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    • krista says

      Every girl has a different definition of curvy. I’ve heard people from size 0 to 16+ describe themselves as ‘curvy’ so it’s in the eye of the beholder I guess!

      To some, curvy is an insult and to some a compliment!

      Same as when people talk about muscle tone, most females have their own definition of muscular for a girl as well. I’ll hear someone say another girl is ripped, and yet my definition of ripped is completely different. And to some it’s an insult, and others a compliment!

      Us females are strange creatures! 🙂

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    • Anna Crouch says

      You say:

      “We all have body issues and label ourselves one way or another but how about we just say we are beautiful just the way we are!”

      Ummm….Sine when does curvy=bad? I don’t think Julie was associating her curves with a negative body image…. Plus, I’m naturally thin and people tell me all the time that I’m too small, yet I still see a nice booty when I look in the mirror….not a BAD thing….but I see it, and I like it, yet people tell me all the time that they wish they didn’t have a butt, like me. So as Krista said, it’s in the eye of the beholder.

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      • says

        all i meant by “curvy” is that i have a booty. 🙂 i didn’t mean it in a good or bad way. it’s just that when i try on clothes, i am always a good 3 sizes bigger in the booty! sarah referenced people referring to her as having a “boyish” shape, so i was just trying to communicate that i never thought about the judgments these women may receive until i read her email.

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      • Nicole says

        I didn’t say curvy was bad, I just said Julie is not Curvy. That is my opinion. I also said that Julie is healthy and looks great. Every comment that doesn’t agree is not an attack.

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  53. says

    I completely agree with this. It’s great to hear your side of the story, Sarah. I do feel as if though people think it’s more than okay to tell a naturally skinny woman to “go eat a cheeseburger” and not say ANYTHING to someone who is overweight because it may hurt their feelings. People don’t realize what insecurities other people may have and if you don’t have anything nice to say, nothing should be said. There is no point in commenting on someone else’s body type unless it’s a good thing. Will it benefit you if you say something? No, I’m sure the person already knows they are skinny or overweight so there’s no need to point it out in the first place.

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  54. Sarah says

    THANK YOU FOR SPEAKING OUT FINALLY. I’m 5’7 and 112 pounds and HEALTHY. Yes I eat. No I will not go have a hamburger.

    This is awesome. I loved the curvy girl post, but it did hurt my feelings a bit as well. My boyfriend loves my physique b/c it’s healthy, not b/c it’s in a specific curvy or non-curvy category.

    Go Julie and Sarah 🙂

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  55. Carol says

    Thanks for sharing your story Sarah. I am a naturally thinner person as well and I’m a real foodie. When I was a teen I can still clearly remember a boy in class who called me ‘anorexic girl’ which I found hurtful. People have said other not so nice comments as a young adult as well but I’ve learned to not react to them but I still think about it and it hurts my feelings.
    In saying that I believe that a lot people have negative things to say about a persons weight whether they are big or small.

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  56. says

    Thanks Julie for the post, and thanks Sarah for sharing!

    It’s really sad how no matter what size or body type, women really do tend to pick on each other’s insecurities or put them down. I’ve witnessed so many people (and even close friends) make fun of other women/friends because they are “too skinny”, “so short”, “getting fit and have man arms”, etc. Really, what is the point of making these comments? Like you’ve posted before Julie, “Blowing out someone else’s candle doesn’t make yours burn any brighter.”

    Anyway, this post definitely made me reflect and think if I have taken into account my naturally thin friends feelings. I definitely try to only be positive with all my friends no matter what size, but this post will make me even more conscious that no matter what shape or size – everyone still wants to feel attractive/beautiful/etc.

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  57. M says

    It’s just as hard being overweight. I was called a “fat man cow” and “twinkies.” That stuff sticks with you forever, and I’d be lying if I said what I went through didn’t mess up my head.

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    • M says

      Oh and I wanted to add that it’s been 11 years since then, and I’d say I do have extreme body issues that stemmed from all that. Funny how such mean spirited people can warp your mind, but that’s what happens when you’re young going through those awkward years–for people of any body type.

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  58. Trish says

    I work in a gym and I have had people make some very nasty comments to me about how others look – as in making fun of other people who are there trying to workout and make themselves better It’s just crazy and I hate it when it happens. Why is okay to pick on another person?

    I have heard stuff about people being too big, and too skinny. They are too tanned, too pale. They are too this, or not enough that. Well who died and make you the body police?

    Most recently I had a woman come up to me and ask if I was related to somebody. I couldn’t figure out why she asked – until she started off on how she was disgusted by the woman’s cellulite and how dare that woman show up in shorts if her legs look that way. I was so stunned. I went home from work and was upset all night about this cruel attack.

    And I have to add that I have started visiting some blogs a lot less and not comment as much because of the negativity – not because of the blogger themselves, but because the comments can get so rude and mean.

    For me, I used to be overweight and I got picked on so bad. It still upsets me today when I think about it and it most certainly hurt my self-esteem. I’ve also been told my chin was too pointy, or my nose too big, or now, wearing a size 4, that my thighs were too fat. Good grief! Like Miss Gaga would say – I was born this way! This is how I look. If you like it, great. But if you don’t, then fine – but that doesn’t make it okay to put me down.

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  59. Alanna says

    Thank you posting Sarah’s story!! I can relate to a lot of it and it’s really nice to know that there is somebody else out there who deals with similar issues and feelings regarding being naturally thin. It’s also really great to be able to get a glimpse at the way she has dealt with these issues and feelings and encouraging for me– I’ve sometimes dealt with them in less positive ways which has only caused more damage to myself. She seems like a really smart girl and good role-model when it comes this issue.

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  60. maria @ a life to Bragg about says

    While I agree that there shouldn’t be ANY comments about someone’s weight, I think that it’s easier to accept skinny mean comments than obese ones. I’ve never been in that position before but I think maybe the comments about skinny people stem from jealousy because most women would prefer to be super skinny then super obese. The grass is always greener on the other side.

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  61. says

    Thank you for posting Sarah’s story. I think it is important to for us all to realize that all women of different shapes and sizes struggle with body issues. This is why I love reading your blog, because you are thoughtful and you really listen to your readers! Thanks again!

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  62. says

    Thanks for posting this story! I too am a “naturally” thin person, and have regularly received many comment/remarks about my body my whole life from family, friends, and strangers. People often feel the need to tell me to eat more, or eat this or that, and I have been approached more than once about having an eating disorder with out the person even knowing what I eat at all! Comments like “You’re too thin” with concerning eyes have always been a part of any conversation regarding food/workingout/being healthy that I have with people. I am constantly looked down on by friends for being skinnier than they are.

    All this to say, just because thin people received negative comments too does not negate the fact that overweight (or just bigger body types) receive negativity as well. It’s not truly the size of the person that is the problem, it is the inadequacy in the person making the comments. For whatever reason, people who are hurting in their own life feel the need to inflict pain on others. (This is true also with the people who make outrageous comments about people’s significant others).

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  63. Jessica says

    This discussion really reminds me of a saying “Where you stand depends on where you sit”. Overweight people are likely to hear the negative comments geared towards overweight people, and vice versa for the thin chicks. The truth is that people are judged all the time no matter what the number on the scale is. I consider myself thin but considered average by BMI standards; 5’6″ and 120 and I still get comments like “You need to eat”. In high school I was much smaller and use to be called anorexic! Truth is, I actually wish I was curvier. I have a chest as flat as a door and a butt to match! But, these aren’t things I can change, so I’m happy with my body. And when someone says “You should eat a hamburger” I reply with “No Thanks, I’d rather not die of a heart attack at age 30” and give them a big old grin! 🙂

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  64. says

    Great post! In India, the ‘done’ thing is for the girls to marry young (26 is considered old). My friend’s cousin is merely 17, and like Sarah, is naturally very thin despite the quantities she eats! Yet her grandmother/family members give her a LOT of grief and torment her that she will never find a husband if she remains one big bone- it’s so out of line.

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  65. says

    How about we all stop judging people?! I think that would fix every degrading comment. Yes, I think it would 🙂

    Besides, we don’t know ANYONE else’s full story, so we have no right to tell them one way or another what they’re doing is wrong.

    Very eye-opening, thanks!!

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  66. says

    THANK YOU for posting this!
    I honestly was offended by the post as well and didn’t even bother to read the comments. I feel as though Sarah took the words right out of my mouth. While I am not as small as I was growing up, I still a thin and lean women. I remember crying to my mom about peoples comments and wishing that I would grow faster. I have never, ever said “thank you” to someone who calls me skinny. In fact, I tell them that it isn’t a compliment to me. They usually always counter with “but I would kill for your body..” Then say that! Tell someone they have great legs, a beautiful smile, toned arms….whatever.
    I also HATE that people tell me “wow you’re a runner, you don’t need to run you’re skinny.” Why should I be able to do something I love? Something I am good at? I understand that some people exercise to lose weight but not everyone. Just because I could sit around and eat junk food and not exercise and still be thin doesn’t mean that I should or that it’s healthy for me. I, like Sarah, have always been a “human garbage disposal” (as sweetly nicknamed by my family) and there’s nothing wrong with me eating a lot of fruits, veggies, staying active as well.
    Well I guess I had a lot to say but bottom line is; we are ALL beautiful, no matter what our size it. All that is really important is whether or not you are HEALTHY.

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  67. says

    What an interesting post!!!! I’m small, and definitely get teased a lot about it!!!!! It is just plain wrong t o judge a person based solely on appearance, whether they are thin or overweight. It is hurtful, degrading, and really keeps people from getting to actually know what the other is like as a person.

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  68. says

    Discrimination, no matter what, is an evil for women and body image. No matter what a woman looks like, it seems there is always going to be a person or a society who does not accept her body. Curvy women are seen as healthy in some countries while other countries see them as overweight. It’s really a wrong situation because when I was “curvy” in my youth, my entire self-image was screwed up because of taunts/teasing. Now, I deal with issues I’ve had since high school. It’s unfair I have to live this way because people expressed their opinions to me in a negative way. If someone did not like my body or thought I looked “overweight”, why say anything at all? Okay, so you think it… Keep it to yourself. If you think it might be causing someone problems which may harm them, say it in a NICE way. TALK to the individual. Do not say things like ,”You need to go eat more.” How does ANYONE think that helps? “Go eat a burger!” Uhmm… Or what?

    I just hate it because the voiced opinions of others left ME with disordered eating. I struggle every day. I used to be very bright, healthy, sociable, etc. Now, I’m left with a struggle and a totally different mentality. I spend a majority of time on my own because of society and outspoken jerks. It’s not fair. At all. And I believe it’s just a sin for people to treat others this way.

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  69. says

    Such a great post, Julie and Sarah. So many times everyone’s trying to lose weight and be skinnier so it’s easier for people to bash those who are smaller than them. Great reminder that everyone does have securities and everyone is beautiful and as women, we should support each other and not ever be putting each other down.

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  70. Tabaitha says

    Sarah, thanl you for sharing this. I could be wrong but i believe you were referring to the comment i wrote and i mentioned a comment my husband made to me. I am deeply sorry for hurting yours or anyone’s feelings. You are completely right in that we shouldn’t judge anyone bc you never know there situation. I’m 5’8″ and have wide hips but no chest. At my lowest weight i was 112 lbs and everyone thought i had an eating disorder. When actually i just started taking better care of what i was eating and exercising more. I remember how that felt and the fact that i or anyone else could have hurt your feelings breaks my heart. Thank you for reminding us that we are all beautifully and wonderfully made. Thank you Julie for bringing light to this.

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    • says

      Tabaitha, my comments were hurtful too, I’m sure! I think a lot of women make comments – even if they’re quoting others (like my husband and your husband in this case) and I’m so glad Sarah could help to open BOTH of our eyes about not saying anything critical about anyone’s bodies! 🙂 I’m so glad you found Sarah’s story as poignant as I did.

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    • Sarah says

      Tabitha, It wasn’t the first time I’ve heard that, and it definitely won’t be the last. The truth is, I really like hamburgers, so I think I’ll start responding, “sounds great, wanna get me one.” 🙂

      But seriously, no worries!

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  71. says

    Good for you Sarah! My mom has had a similar problem her whole life, thanks for addressing it! Also, props to you Julie for bringing a readers concern out in the open 🙂

    My body has changed quite a bit from jr. high to now. Like most I endured the changed of hitting puberty, the dieting in high school, and trying to find balance during University too. I’m pretty short so any amount of weight gain I “feel” right away, even if it does go unnoticed. I’ve had the freshmen 15 as well as the “skinny-all-I-do-is-live at the library” look. But no matter what side of the coin I found myself I fell into the comparison trap. I think that’s where a lot of the emotions and comments about others people’s weight comes from…comparing ourselves to others. Does it make us feel better? I don’t know, but I’m learning to be comfortable and satisfied with my own body and be less concerned with how others look… I’m hoping that will be my best look :).

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  72. says

    My sister has this same problem, at 6’1 and size 2 she has spent her whole life getting cruel comments about being anorexic and the girl eats ice cream for breakfast on a regular basis!

    I find the nasty comments toward skinny girls comes from jealousy. It’s great to love your body and feel comfortable in your own skin but how many of us actually do? Many women like to make nasty remarks about skinny women simply because they are jealous and it makes them feel better.

    WE NEED TO STOP PUTTING EACH OTHER DOWN TO MAKE OURSELVES FEEL BETTER!

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  73. says

    Ok, weighing in here (no pun intended).

    I’ve come to the conclusion that there are two types of pre-pubescent children: those that tend towards skinny and then fill out once they hit their growth spurt, and those that tend towards chubby and then everything falls into place when they grow.

    I was one of the latter, most of my friends were the former. Because of this, and because many of those friends are still very thin, I’ve had to defend them to other people. I know how much my friends eat and I know their body image issues. It sucks for them because so many people might say things and my thin friends don’t feel they can fight back. Social stigma says being made fun of for being “too thin” is akin to being made fun of for being “too rich”; you have nothing to complain about.

    The worst was actually in college. I went to Bryn Mawr, which embraces tolerance of all people, and nasty girls would make fun of my best friend because she’s 6 foot and normally 125lbs. At one point, due to stress, she went down to 117lbs (way too thin, you could see the bones in her arms) and girls would say nasty things to her in earnest (ended up being an easily fixed health issue).

    With that behind me, I can say with total confidence that anyone who makes snide comments to someone who’s thin is showing their own insecurities. Whether it’s right or wrong, these women believe they should have the slender bodies of the women they make fun of. Perhaps the thin person does have an eating disorder, but that’s for those closest to that person to deal with, not a stranger.

    I’m not sure if realizing that helps girls who are thin and get snide comments, but it helps my friends.

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  74. Ali says

    Haha I’m not sure I’d call ya “curvy” either, Julie. Hottie with a body! I think you look strong, happy, and confident! Keep up the awesome posts.

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  75. Heidi says

    I just wanted to thank both Sarah for standing up for something that she believed in and knew needed to be shared from a different perpective. It takes a lot of courage to do that. And also to Julie for being such an understanding person and never sulking or hiding behind these issues. It’s refreshing and impowering to know that no matter what size you are, there are other women out there, amongst all the negativity, who are in the same boat as you and who will support you. You just need to look in the right place. Thank you Sarah for standing up and thank you Julie for creating a place where she could.

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  76. Rosa - Fitness, Food, Fulfilled says

    This is a great post and totally eye opening. As a person who has always been heavier than others, I can totally relate to your story. The words may be different, but the feelings they generate are exactly the same.

    That whole adage about “sticks and stones will break my bones, but words can never hurt me” is a crock of poo. They certainly do hurt and have more lasting effects than any bruise or broken bone ever could.

    Thanks for sharing your story.

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  77. Caree @ Fit-Mama says

    I completely relate with you Sarah! I always was teased by family and classmates on how skinny I was. They would tell me I don’t eat enough and I need to eat more…but I just ate until I got full and never had any sort of food issues. When I was in college, I actually got really excited about gaining weight, about finally being able to buy bigger jeans…but I wasn’t taking care of myself, I was constantly eating junk and feeling so tired and fatigued. Its sad how focused the world is on our appearance!

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  78. Haley says

    I think in our society saying something like “wow you’re so thin” is typically meant as a compliment. It’s interesting that we tend to forget that could be pointing out someone’s insecurities…

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  79. allison says

    Thanks for sharing Julie and Sarah. This is an issue I have been dealing with my whole life. With a small frame, I have been dealing with insults my whole life. Eat this, why don’t you eat that..etc. Never in a million years would I approach someone bigger and tell them what not to eat. It is the same thing. But people are capable of being hurt.

    As far as the curvy issue goes, there is a reason they sell curvies all the way down to size 0 and not curvies in sizes up to 16. Just because you are small doesn’t mean your body doesnt have curves and larger frames can have no curves at all.

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  80. says

    Thank you so much for sharing this! My roommate in college and one of my close friends is naturally very skinny and she told me that it’s frustrating because every time she goes to the doctor and she is questioned about having an eating disorder because she isn’t over 100 lbs. It’s so crazy to think that even doctors (people who should totally understand that every body is completely different) are sometimes judgmental about body size! You are so right Julie- everyone is beautiful, regardless of their shape and size!

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  81. Vikki says

    I applaud Sarah and her story. I am definitely in her boat as well with being a non-existent size 00 (finding clothes is a problem) and people telling me to eat more. It’s hard. I am so happy there are so many other people out there that are dealing with the same problem, which really isn’t a problem, just a reality. I agree with Julie that everyone is this world is beautiful. Thank you so much for this post.

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  82. says

    I think the most important thing to take from the previous and current post’s comments are that every woman regardless of her weight and height is going to have their insecurities. The next time that you’re feeling envious of how thin a woman is, or how she rocks those curves, remember that she could be looking right back at you asking those same questions.

    So I say rock whatever body you’ve got!

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  83. Alexandra says

    This post reminds me of the other night when i was watching jersey shore with my friends…and yes i know the show is total trash…but all of my guy friends commented on how gross jwoww looks now because she is so skinny and they all preferred her at a higher weight. I think that when a person is at their natural weight they look their best, its when a person tries to force themself to be skinnier than their body was meant for that one loses their beauty.

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  84. Kenda says

    I will never forget the day in high school, the mean girl next door told me to go eat something. Or the day after becoming an adult, getting married, and gaining almost 20 lbs, that my uncle didn’t believe that I wasn’t pregnant. I know it hurts either way. Since then I have started to work out and eat healthy (mostly). My body is still not perfect but because I actually work for it, I am proud of it and nothing anyone posts in comments on a blog can make me feel bad.

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  85. Bianca @A Healthy Gourmet Lifestyle says

    You tell it Sarah! My story has always been the complete opposite of yours: Lose some weight and you’ll actually look cute! I was belittled through middle school, and a guy actually made up a song called ‘The Butt Song’ because according to him my butt looked like a caboose train. Eventually our math teacher overheard him singing it and saw me crying and he got into some serious trouble, but it still left a profound impact on me. Irregardless of our weight, whether we are thin, average, or chubby like I am currently, we shouldn’t let it define ourselves. And we all need to see the value in ourselves that doesn’t include weight. That has been one thing that has changed for me over the past several months of my very slow weight loss. We are beautiful and strong capable women and we shouldn’t let society define who we are, we define who we are! My mom always put the utmost importance into appearance and she was constantly calling me the most horrid names because of it, especially because she worked at my high school and hated the appearance I gave off of her (me being overweight= bad mom) and treated me like crap. I tried not to listen to her, but that whole mantra is stuck in my head so I’m working on getting it out now that I am on my own. I’m sorry that you were so offended by the comments, I didn’t participate in that discussion, but I am deeply sorry for the pain it cause you. All of us just need to stick together and combat the negativity that society gives off, its plain and simple, but society isn’t plain and simple. As long as we are happy with ourselves we shouldn’t let society define us.

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  86. says

    Sometimes it’s so easy to pass judgement on others and unfortunately people forget how hurtful words can be. No matter what you look like, a negative comment directed at your body type never feels good. I think it’s really important for everyone to realize that a HEALTHY body is a beautiful body, and they come in all different forms. I work at a gym and I see sooo many different body types every day and I also notice how quick everyone is to judge each others bodies. If these people are in the gym every day and obviously care about their well being, who cares what their bodies look like?! We can’t change our genes, whether God gave us a “skinny” ( I hate that word) or a curvier body type. Embracing what you have and focusing on being healthy and fueling your body nutritiously always helps. 🙂

    In regards to the survey though, let men think what they want. Its MY body and like it however I like it. The man who deserves to be with you will love your body because it’s YOURS and he loves YOU! Plus, the sexiest woman is the most confident woman, the one who embraces what she has without worry of who likes it or doesn’t. I’m pretty muscular for a girl and I know my boyfriend likes me a little softer, but I love my muscles and I’m proud of them and he loves me how I am!

    Julie, I appreciate how you make the effort to make sure everyone’s voice is represented. 🙂

    Xo Lindsay

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  87. says

    Sarah! Agreed 100%. I have a disproportionate body but I’m mostly boney and thin and people STILL do the same thing to me – poke at my ribs or hip bones and say I need to eat more. I eat all day every day – God just made me this way! It really bothers me when people think I have an eating disorder. My body just is this way and has always been this way. Funny how no one would walk up to an obese person and say, “you should really eat less”… come on!!!

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  88. says

    I think it’s really awesome that you took the time to think about what Sarah said and use it to facilitate a serious discussion. I always think back to a lab I took in college – my degree is in nutrition and I took a Methods of Nutritional Assessment lab senior year. In the class we did body fat testing using calipers (big claw looking thing). I have always been self-conscious about my body and completely dreading this assignment. Some of my lab group members had amazing, tiny figures, but interestingly enough many the girls I envied had a higher percent body fat than I did even thought I was a few sizes bigger. Bottom line: Everyone has a different body type. Everyone has different genes. Everyone has different activity levels and eating habits. XS is not necessarily someone who only eats lettuce, XL is not necessarily someone who only eats french fries. As women, we all need to be a little kinder to one another’s bodies.
    My younger brother once said to me after I made an “I feel fat” comment that “Skinny and Fat ain’t nothin’ but a state of mind.” He is absolutely right.

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  89. Leslie says

    Why can’t we just all realize, we’re all human, we all have feelings and insecurities regardless of size. WOMEN are probably the main reason we have these insecurities because of the comparisons we make. I even remember an article in a fitness magazine that when women go to the beach, they are more self-conscious about women seeing their bodies than men. THAT IS RIDICULOUS!

    Women, all shapes and sizes, are BEAUTIFUL! Whether you’re rail thin, normal or overweight, who the hell cares? We have ONE LIFE on this earth, do we really want to define that life by telling people how they should look? There are more important issues, in my opinion.

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  90. Jill says

    Thank you for posting your story Sarah, I have had similar experiences. I think that in general, people (in a work setting) are more comfortable commenting on the way a fit or skinny person eats, and how they look, than the habits of someone a little heavier. I think these comments are generally meant to be compliments of sorts, but don’t come accross that way. I’m often left feeling self conscious, judged, and as if my diet it under constant scrutiny.

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    • says

      you’re so right about the work setting… I’ve recently lost weight and someone at work commented on it and I said ‘Yes I have lost weight, thank you!’ and to that he responded ‘OMG I’m going to have to go buy you a hamburger!’

      Really… why is it always a hamburger??? what does that actually do for anyone?

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        • says

          another 1+ on the hamburger train…

          Seriously makes me want to punch people in the face sometimes. It’s not like people go around yelling at people who have more meat on their bones to “go eat a piece of lettuce.” How is it any different?

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  91. ashley says

    Everyone is teased as a child at some point, and it touches us all in some way. As women, we’re hard on ourselves and each other. There is no shape, size, or color that constitutes a real woman. We’re all real women, correct? We all have 2 X chromosomes no matter what size jeans or bra we wear, so why hate on each other? We all have problems and we’ll never know because we can’t walk in each other’s shoes. So no matter what we look like, I think we all deserve to respect one another and receive respect in return. So do what Thumper from Bambie would do, “If you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all.”

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  92. says

    When people make comments like that it’s because they themselves are insecure and by putting you down it makes them feel better. You have to understand that this behavior actually means they are not happy with themselves, try not to take it personally, and instead feel sorry for them and try to help them…

    Since I’ve made a commitment to being healthier and more active all I hear from my family is that I’m getting ‘too skinny’ and they should worry and if I lose any more weight I’ll look awful – I’m a size 4, nothing crazy. I have a normal Body Fat percentage and slightly high weight for my height I run and I strength train. It is hard to hear things about yourself but if you know you’re not starving yourself and you’re happy just realize you’re a lot further in life than most ppl are 🙂

    I have to say, since weight & food have always been such a struggle for me I’ve always looked at tiny women with envy — until I found out one girl whom I was always envious of was actually severely anorexic. Then I took a whole different look at the way I was seeing beauty in people. Everyone has their own body type/metabolism and what’s beautiful is a healthy, confident woman who is active and fit 🙂

    Thank you for sharing your honest story Sarah! I may be slightly jealous of your high metabolism, but I promise not to make fun of you for it 😉

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  93. Whitney says

    “there is a negative stigma attached to insulting a woman about being overweight, but people think it’s socially acceptable to insult skinny women about their bodies”

    SO SO SO true! I find that being petite always leads to “nice” comments about be being so small. I feel that any attention to someone’s size is strange if they’re not losing weight or drawing attention to it themselves!

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  94. says

    My best friend growing up had a body type like Sarah– in fact, she still struggles with being underweight (by BMI standards).

    She’s a registered dietitian now so she really is focused on being healthy over being the perfect weight. I think she’s beautiful no matter what!

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  95. says

    I agree with the other comments that when people remark negatively about someone’s petite size, it most likely stems from jealously. It seems weird that anyone would comment about another person’s weight at all. I also agree with Sadie’s wise words ‘The haters be hatin.” So true, Sadie, so true. 🙂 Thanks for sharing your story, Sarah!

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  96. Primrose says

    Great post Julie. As a pre-teen growing up, I was extremely skinny and was made fun of for that. A boy in my English class said he could never date someone like me because I was ‘too skinny’.

    Anyway I hit my mid-teens and with that came a booty and now I was made fun of my ‘ big butt’. It was never very malicious but still affected me enough to think it was something undesirable and I used to wear long tops to cover my booty. It took me until a few years ago or so to realize that having a booty is not a bad thing and is part of me being a woman and not a 13 year old.

    My point is no matter what your body looks like people will always find something to criticize you about. Haters gonna hate!!

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  97. says

    I said it in my comment above, but I will say it again. You can not tell how “healthy” someone is by the way they look, ever. You may THINK you can, but really – unless you are running blood tests, oh and their MD, you are just judging.

    I think all women really need to get in the practice of supporting one another, not judging and bringing others down. I see A LOT of these comments as super negative, “oh, obese people have it easier, no one comments on them, it is so taboo” or “I am obese and people have been so terrible to me!”

    Everyone has their own life experience and to try and think YOU have it worse then someone else is just ridiculous. How about we stop focusing on how we look, what others eat and how hard we have it (Helllooooo “white girl problems” (http://www.rachelwilkerson.com/2010/10/12/white-girl-problems/) and just live our lives the best we can! Loving our life, our loved ones, other people and even our bodies!

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  98. says

    I personally think that people tease thin women and girls because they are jealous. I have been at both ends of the spectrum. It is really annoying to have people think you have an eating disorder. When I was growing up, I was a little bit chunkier, and all my friends were absolute “sticks.” That’s what was normal for my school and I was always called “bigger” by people. In this society, obesity has become such as epidemic that it’s now called a disease and it’s considered very rude to call someone fat because you do never know if they have an underlying medical condition or something. Overall, I feel like most of the time, people making fun of thin girls are just envious. I don’t think they are malicious as “fat” comments can be.

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  99. says

    Let me please quote a young writer who made me (luckily) realize that judgement is the worst thing ever:
    “We are not our bodies. Our souls are not our stomachs. Our brains are not our butts” – Courtney E. Martin, Perfect Girls Starving Daughters (review can be found on my blog).
    This book just made me realize: How can we expect others not to judge us by the way we look, if we do the exact same. I thought I was pretty “judgement free” but once I started paying attention I noticed I really wasn’t. Not saying your judgements out loud does not mean you’re not judgemental. Everybody is beautiful, just the way they are.
    I am a naturally more curvy girl, but never have I been overweight. A friend of mine is one of those naturally very skinny girls. I once had a conversation with her about body types. She said: you know, you don’t eat much! And I answered: No I don’t, this is just the way I’m built, I mean, I could maybe be a bit smaller with even healthier eating and more exercise, but that would take the joy out of food. It’s just how I am built. And she answered: Oh… that sucks!
    She didn’t realize what that did. In some way or another she was saying that my body was apparently not something admirable, that my body was not “right”. It still haunts me. Everybody, every body, is different, so don’t judge by the body. Judge by the brains, personality, humor, generosity and all those other things that really matter in a person.
    Inspiring story Sarah, thank you for sharing this.

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  100. Ashley A. says

    I’ve been on both sides of this topic. Growing up I was teased for being “too” skinny also. I ate what I wanted, which some days included 2 Big Macs. In college I gained weight and then began to receive comments about my weight gain and how I needed to “lose” some weight. Again, when I lost all that weight I started getting comments again about how I was too skinny and needed to eat more. What nobody knew was that my insecurities got the best of me and suffered from an eating disorder in order to meet other people’s expectations.

    Sara and Julie have a point. No matter what body type a woman is, she is beautiful. People don’t think before they speak sometimes. They don’t realize how a comment will affect somebody’s life. We can’t control what they say or what they think. So, instead of blaming others for their comments just shrug them off. Nobody else will tell you who you are other than yourself.

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    • Sarah says

      You MUST be talking about the 2 for 3 deal at McDonalds…2 Big Macs for $3. Highschool staple! No matter how much I weigh, I can’t believe I used to eat like that!! Blech…

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  101. Alicia says

    I can totally relate to Sarah because I’m tall. People are always saying “Wow you’re tall” “How tall are you?!!” “You must play basketball” No thank you I play volleyball. I suppose I live up to that stereotype that all tall people play a sport. It does get old though when strangers say something about my height. Its like YES I’M TALL, GET OVER IT! Great post!

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  102. says

    Does everyone else see the parallel to Julie’s post a few days ago about how she felt the need to defend what she ate? I remember a commenter on that prior post said that the people who are making the mean or judgmental comments are probably doing so because they are insecure about themselves.

    I think the lesson is very clearly that we need to try and be less judgmental. Sometimes its hard because you don’t even realize you are being judgmental because you have good intentions. Holding someone to your idea of what a healthy person eats or looks like is making a judgment though.

    I think its human nature to compare yourself to others and feel uncomfortable will you feel you come up short in the comparison. If there’s a real concern, there are much nicer ways to raise your honest concern. In the end we’ll never fully know or understand what another person’s life is like, so rather than passing judgments, I think the best way to combat this problem is to find more love for ourselves and show more love to others.

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  103. says

    I hate two things: Female on female hate, and when women,girls, teens etc. have low self esteem usually resulting from the first thing. It breaks my heart when a girl doesnt see her self as beautiful inside and out and it makes me wonder who or what made her that way. I think the healthy living blog world from what I see, is a great example of women coming together in a positive way. I also think that people need to be understanding of that fact everthing someone feels and thinks is relative to them. I used to not understand (as a bigger girl) when my thin friends would say ” I am having a fat day”. I would look at them like they were crazy and proclaim : “your not fat WTH” but it dawned on me that to them on that day maybe they felt less like themselves. This is just an example but the point is you never know what that person has been through thin, heavy and so on. I got into an accident a few summers ago and fractured my back and I had just lost about 40 lbs but i was too scared to do anything physical that I did’nt, I felt sorry for myself and in return I put all the weight back on plus some. Another example, a friend in high school could easily put back 2 boxes of kraft mac and cheese as an after school snack and then eat dinner everyday and never gain a pound on her tall but very thin frame. YOU NEVER KNOW. My point is that we need more love and less hate in this world and if you struggle with low self esteem then you should strive to see yourself in a better light (bc you are beautiful) than to tear others down bc it does NO GOOD. You are just going to effect the daughters of future generations to come. PHEW ok I am done.

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    • says

      “I also think that people need to be understanding of that fact everything someone feels and thinks is relative to them.”

      Exactly. I used to be overweight, but have changed my lifestyle for the better. I never understood how ‘skinny’ girls could dislike their body. It is so true though, everyone sees themselves in the harshest of lights, and even though I am 100% of envious of my friend’s body and extremely high metabolism, I have no idea what goes through her head or what it is like to be in her shoes.

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  104. Lori says

    I agree with you Sarah, people can be insecure about their body no matter what body type it is. It is absolutely something that people should be aware of and realize that their comments and actions can be hurtful. Thank you for speaking out!

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  105. says

    Sarah, thank you for sharing. This is my story as well – and the hurtful things that were said as I was growing up are still very vivid in my memory today. I almost laughed about dancing around in the shower because my grandpa used to say that to me also. I distinctly remember a girl on my cheer team telling me that I was too skinny and it was gross – that no guy would ever find me attractive. Or being told to put my shirt on over my swimsuit because my skinniness was “sickening”. Very hurtful things.
    Unfortunately, I don’t think this ever really stops. I recently had a baby and now when I go to the store or anywhere people will look me up and down, look at my baby, look back at me and make a comment like “its disgusting you are so skinny after just having a baby how old is he anyway?”
    I’ve learned to live with this kind of thing. I think people really don’t realize that their comments are so cruel. I’m confident in my health – eating and working out and I’m confident that although I don’t look like the cover of a magazine or some curvacious babe ( 🙂 ) that I’m beautiful because I look the way I was intended to look – and that’s all I can expect of myself.

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  106. says

    I’m really glad that you posted this story from another viewpoint. It was really eye opening.

    As one of those curvy girls (all booty and no boobs like you Julie!) I too always envy those naturally thin women. But sheesh! I would hope I’d never put anyone down for that! I really think that insulting anything about a person’s appearance is just low.

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  107. Jessica Corbin says

    So true! Many woman have done the same to me that I am curvy (big boobs and butt along with the thighs) and have a great body, but once I got real lean and all, my family and some friends would think I was too skinny. My Aunt suffered very badly from anorexia for many, many years and the family often compared me to that saying that, “I do not want to end up like my Aunt” when in reality, most my body is MUSCLE! I basically said, enough. If you have nothing nice to say about all my hard work than I do not want to hear it. Period. They shut up, but it is sad that it got to that point, I mean seriously. I work out 3-4 times a week, with obviously muscle, but I am too skinny…HAHA now I laugh because really people have NO idea.

    Its simple. Don’t judge and like all our mothers taught us all those years, “if you have nothing nice to say than don’t say anything at all.”

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  108. says

    Thanks Julie for posting this and Sarah for sharing! I’ve been on the thinner side my whole life (just crossed into “normal” territory, whatever that means) and constantly dealt with people calling me things like skinny bitch, crackhead (I mean really?), anorexic and all kinds of other rude things. I would never tell an overweight friend or anyone else for that matter that I thought she was “fat” so why would it be okay for them to criticize my body? It’s something I never understood.

    When I got to college, I would eat when I was hungry because I don’t eat just to eat, and people would tell me that they never see me eat, no wonder I’m so thin, and all kinds of nonsense. I don’t think anyone should have to prove that they eat just because of their natural body size.

    Anyway, I just think women need to be nicer to each other and take the time to recognize what they might be feeling instead of taking it out on others. And you never know how those inconsiderate comments might affect someone. We should spend more time complimenting and encouraging each other instead of tearing people down.

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  109. says

    I used to be overweight and now I’m very thin so I’ve been on both sides. I think there are two reasons why people tease skinny girls:
    1: they’re jealous. Not necessarily because they want to be skinny, but because they wish their body was “the ideal” and by putting skinny women down, they think it makes it less acceptable to be really skinny and more acceptable to be overweight. Everyone wants to be the norm. And then there’s that dream, to be able to eat whatever you want and not gain a pound.
    2: They think it’s a compliment. They want people to say that stuff to them. And quite honestly, sometimes it feels good when people say that stuff to me. I’d much rather be called a twig than “thigh master” <– by my fifth grade peers in the worst possible way

    Of course these reasons don't excuse the behavior. I'm a firm believer in if you don't have something nice to say…

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  110. Kimberly says

    Honestly, I was a little shocked when I read the comments last week by how many people were willing to compare skinny women to “boys” etc. I have many female friends whose body types vary, and I think they’re all beautiful. I have a girlfriend who is 5’3 and weighs under 100 lbs, and the guys she’s dated hardly seem to mind. I have a friend who is much taller and curvier, and the guys she’s dated hardly seem the mind. The point is that attraction is based on so many things. Physical appearance is one of them, yes, but attraction is also based on how you think, how you move, how you talk and the list goes on and on.

    I think self acceptance is extremely important, as long as an acceptance and appreciation for others comes with it.

    Attraction depends on so many things.
    No matter what, I have to think that there’s someone out there who “prefers” every single body type imaginable. And even though “that person” may not be “the majority of the UK men polled” , there’s someone out there who thinks you look like the most gorgeous thing to grace this good earth.

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  111. says

    Thanks for sharing, this is a great post! Why do people always have to judge others, it seems we live in a standardized society where everyone must be perfect and look perfect. Enough!

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  112. Sarah (a different one...lol) says

    Bravo! Can I nominate this post for your 3 year anniversary “Bests Of”? That is unless you get preggers or something…

    One thing that I can weigh in on (no pun intended) is the harsh assumption that based on body weight alone, that person is purposely putting themselves through a certain regimen in order to achieve their physique. And it goes both weighs: overweight and underweight.

    A person with added pounds to their frame doesn’t necessarily mean they are always overeating and consuming non-nutritious foods. If there is anything I’ve learned from the blog world, is there are plently of women who would be considered “overweight” per the BMI scale (25-29.5kg/m2) who post their meal intake and workouts and are completely healthy.

    The equally goes for women who are naturally thin. Having an underweight BMI (<18.5kg/m2) does not always mean that person is suffering from anorexia nervosa and severely cutting their caloric intake and obsessively exercising in order to achieve their thinness. A perfect example would be Chocolate Covered Katie’s blog.

    That’s the BEAUTY of us all being different with different sizes and shapes. Sometimes its just genetics. Sometimes it is more serious issue of women self inflicting disordered eating upon themselves. Many healthy weight or overweight women can also be victims of eating disorders (ie bulimia). The bottom line is – you never know.

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  113. Claire says

    This is my first time posting a comment, I’ve been reading your blog for a couple of months. I just wanted to say that I’m shocked by the nasty comments (even though there are just a few) directed at you personally and your body. I think its a lot easier for people to hide behind internet anonymity and say cruel and catty things than saying it in real life. Just wanted to say that I think its ridiculous that you have to keep making posts defending yourself (I don’t post everything I eat, I didn’t say I was curvy all over, etc etc) and people are just silly! That said, I always appreciate how open and honest you are, and I am really sorry that anyone would see the need to attack such a nice person. You are a lovely, healthy individual who deserves respect just like any other woman and don’t let the negativity get you down because you have so many readers supporting you! I love reading your blog 🙂

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  114. Allie says

    This was such a great post! From someone who was overweight growing up and through sophomore year of college- words hurt, plain and simple. That sticks and stones saying is crap!

    As someone who has also lost weight and is now in the higher end of a healthy bmi, I think it’s hard to see a naturally thin woman and not be jealous. I’ve struggled with my weight all my life, and to see someone who, in my mind, doesn’t have that struggle is hard. I have to be super careful of what I eat, and work out all the time, just to TRY to maintain.

    What I’ve come to realize is that even if in my mind that person isn’t struggling with their weight or shape, they may be. Like others have said, insecurities come from every height, weight and shape; I don’t know what that person has gone through, or how they feel about themselves.

    I think bringing awareness to this topic is awesome, and thanks for sharing Julie and Sara!

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  115. Shell says

    When I lost a lot of weight in college (putting me in a healthy BMI range), people would say HORRIBLE things to me, like, ” are you eating” and ” you’re too tiny now” and “ok this is enough weight, don’t lose anymore” and judgements left and right about my body.

    It was the worst! Of course, some of these comments might have been aimed at being complimentary, but I wanted to shout, “Please stop making comments about my body! I don’t make comments about yours!” Ugh! It really goes both ways

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  116. Molly says

    Julie I think this goes along with your post about co workers, family, friends nagging you about making healthy choices and saying, come on just have a piece of cake (or cookie, or other office goody).

    But those same people will totally judge you on your green smoothies or fruit and granola, etc.

    It is so annoying…

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  117. Sarah says

    i have always been teased for my weight- because i was obese! since ive lost weight it has subsided, but i will never forget the hurt and pain that i still carry with me. I am in a Christian family that always taught that God looks at the inside and not the outside. If only as humans we were that way! The rest of my sisters are thin, and i was and am still jealous. But they never turn down a piece of cake 🙂 I too suffered mostly good natured jokes about my weight from my family. That hurt me the most! All of us have insecurities- what we need is someone to tell us that we are beautifully and wonderfully made, just the way we are.

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  118. Allison says

    As someone with a former ED, who has been skinnier and curvier- thank you for the story! I feel that you should never judge people based on weight and shame them. I’ve never received rude comments, but I often feel that people are critical of my size. For those who are skinny, they may eat all the time but are labeled as “anorexic”… I’m normally thin with curves, but at the moment have mysteriously gained weight. I think it has given me insight into the problems many women face. I try not to mention weight and size, whether mine or someone elses. Usually that kind of conversation is deprecating.

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  119. C says

    Having been (naturally) very thin until I was about 17, I did get some negativity. On the whole though my experience was actually the opposite to what Sarah experienced (this isn’t to say that her and others don’t get terribly rude and hurtful comments on their weight, just my own experience and thoughts). However, this wasn’t really a positive thing, as I began to feel purely defined in terms of my thinness.

    Pretty much the only thing that I was ever complimented on from the age of 12 was how ‘lovely and thin’ or ‘perfect’ my body was. The fact that I was the top of most classes, was a good friend and daughter (most of the time!), or anything else, was never reinforced as being as much as an ‘achievement’ as being thin. Within my friendship groups, others were labeled the prettiest, most popular, I was always the ‘thinnest one’, and although I got some mean comments, more were about how they wished they were the same size as me. As someone who already has low self esteem and self worth I held on to this, feeling like it must be the only thing that made me special and became a huge part in how I defined myself. Whilst I never had a full blown ED I definitely had ‘disordered eating’ and body image issues, which I feel was largely caused by this (obviously there were other reasons too). Even now, whilst I am not as thin as I used to be, my BMI is still sub 18, I always get quite damaging comments like (quoting) “You have a great body – you’re skinny but would look bad if you were any heavier”. I am small framed, and I understand they think they are complimenting me, but seriously – way to make me paranoid about ever being in the ‘healthy’ weight category!!

    I feel like much of society is obsessed with thinness and now idealises being thin as almost the greatest thing ever a woman can achieve, which is pretty screwed up. Although, I appreciate there is as schizophrenic attitude towards thinness, where the same gossip magazines that portray thin as ideal also ridicule thin celebrities, and the same in everyday life (as Sarah experienced). I just hate how comments about weight and size are so much the focal point of our day to day lives.

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  120. Lindsey @ Cardio Pizza says

    I think this was a great post to read and definitely sheds some much needed light, not only for discriminating about being skinny or overweight, but simply discriminating each other based on what we look like.

    It’s a sad reality that our society puts SO much emphasis on what we look like and what we SHOULD look like, when in the end, does it REALLY matter? I mean, when you look back on your life, do you want to remember all of those times you were envious on what others looked like? I would much rather remember my experiences and relationships.

    I think that by talking about it more though, we can definitely get past it and move towards being a more compassionate society….baby steps!

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  121. says

    This was so great! I’m sure this has happened to many healthy living bloggers when someone does this and thinks it is okay. It is hurtful and obnoxious. Most friends would NEVER point out that the other is curvy but the curvy friend will often point out that the other is “so skinny”. I’ve found that co-workers used to say oh my goodness you are so tiny, etc. until they see me eat lunch. I eat A LOT. I workout/run A LOT. They get it now.

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  122. Catherine 'T' says

    It’s all about perspective. We’ve all lived different lives, which in my opinion makes us wonderfully unique. We as humans tend to want what we don’t have, whether more curves if we are small or a stick figure for us curvy girls…bottom line we need to love ourselves, each other, be healthy in whatever body we have and mind our own business. Before commenting on someone’s size/intellect/talent etc think of how it would feel if someone made a degrading/snarky comment to you for whatever reason. People are mean, and the meanest ones are usually the ones that need the most hugs!

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  123. says

    I’m so glad you posted this… Two of my best friends from high school are twins and are naturally super slim, and they can eat literally ANYTHING they want (which I’ve always envied them for!). I think they have beautiful figures but it’s happened on multiple occasions when I’ve been with them that someone has come up to one of them (perfect strangers) and said something like ‘eat a burger’ or the worst I ever heard, ‘anorexia isn’t attractive, love’. That one ended with my friend being in floods of tears and me having a huge argument with the guy that came up to her to say that.

    For some reason people think it’s okay to say that to slim people when they would never dream of telling an overweight person to eat a salad, I guess because of societal standards? Either way it can be massively hurtful for people to comment on someone’s weight so thanks for pointing out the other side of it!

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  124. says

    I certainly agree that nobody should be ridiculed for whatever size they are or food choices they make.

    However I think there is a difference between an attack and stating a personal preference and having that taken as an attack.

    “Girls with small boobs look like boys.” is an attack.

    “I generally find girls with wide hips and plump breasts to be more attractive than other body types.” is a personal preference.

    Don’t confuse them.

    Some people will think your abs are unattractive. Some people will think they are the pinnacle of sexy. Same goes for big butts, small breasts, brown hair and every other physical trait you can think of.

    Oh well!

    It’s just their preference!

    Focus on your health, what you want your body to be and don’t worry about trying to be every single person’s ideal of hottness.

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  125. says

    I don’t think that you were being malicious in intent with your survey post. I’ve been teased for my weight, over and under; both made me cry. I’ve had someone in my life (close cousin) who could never put on weight and is currently a model because of it. She’s just a beautiful as I am, even though I have to work out to keep a healthy figure. Some people will always be cruel, even if it’s unintentional.

    Remember when ‘retard’ was not a dirty word? Me either, but you just have to show them that their words have consequences. Never say anything that you wouldn’t say to your grandmother (if she’s nice. If not, use mine.) to a complete stranger. You never know what they’re going through and you may set them on a spiral with your offhand, “Wow, you’re basically a bobblehead” comment. (One I received and couldn’t believe.)

    Julie, way to go with post. Sarah, I’m glad you said something that got J’s attention enough for a follow up post. The negativity goes both ways, ftl. =/

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  126. says

    Thanks sarah and julie youre awesome. I’m thin and small, and I get really annoyed and self-conscious when people, especially other women, are always saying things against skinny women. How it’s bad to have small breasts and hips and we look like boys and no one would find us sexi, etc. like we’re not real women (the whole ‘real women have curves – yes they do, but real women also can NOT have curves too). I always feel not sexy and very awkward. I’m small as well, and often have to get kids clothes and shoes, and wear padded bras just to try and look like everyone else, and to make the fronts of shirts and dresses fit. Also, I find that anyone, coworkers, nail ladies, waiters, strangers, take it upon themselves to comment on my eating habits, either assuming I never eat (oh, I’m not good like YOU), or saying I cant eat something because I wont be skinny anymore (oh youre eating a muffin – be careful, you’re so thin, you don’t eat those!! Um yes I do!!). So rude! People also routinely ask me my weight. No one asks bigger people THEIR weight! I agree that people DO make fun of fat people as well, but its still considered taboo, whereas making fun of people for being skinny is a free for all. I do eat, I eat plenty. I work out, I’m healthy. So yay for healthy people of ALL sizes.

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  127. says

    I feel like the moral of this whole story is that we would could all really use to keep our opinions of other people’s figures to ourselves. For one thing, I think most people are pretty aware of what their body type is–I doubt anyone realized their body type for the first time after hearing it from someone else. For another thing, I also think everyone, regardless of how they act or what they say, is in some way insecure about their body. Unless you’re speaking the truth in love (“Wow, I know that you’ve been working really hard for the past six months to lose weight in order to get healthy, and I can see that your work is paying off! I’m proud of you for sticking with your plan” etc. etc.), there’s really no good way to talk about someone else’s body, as far as I’ve experienced. I never liked the “You’re so skinny, Bethany,” comments I would get sometimes in high school. I never agreed with it, so comments like that would just frustrate me. I don’t really think it’s anyone’s place to comment openly about someone else’s body unless it’s absolutely necessary.

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  128. Kara says

    I love this post and I’m so happy you spoke out on this overlooked issue. I have always been naturally thin, but recently I have become even more so after I have started paying more attention to what I eat. Strokes, high blood pressure, and all sorts of other diseases and conditions run in my family and I have taken it upon myself to try to get an early start in hopes of preventing myself from this same unfortunate fate. I eat a lot of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and other heart healthy foods. Again, I want to make it clear – I eat for my HEALTH, not to lose weight. However, because I eat healthy, people make a lot of assumptions that I am on a “diet” or have an eating disorder. With heart disease as common as it is today, I don’t understand why people look at me like I have two heads when I say that I try to eat healthy. Now, this is not to say that I don’t splurge – I by no means restrict myself or deny my body foods that I love. I just try to make sure that I am also feeding my body the proper fuel that it needs to grow and be healthy.

    Very often, I receive hurtful comments about my weight. People will tell me to go eat something or question what I eat. As a result, I always feel like I have to prove myself when I’m with others. My eating patterns are not your typical 3 meal eating patterns – I eat smaller portions, but I am pretty much CONSTANTLY eating. I have found that this is what works best for my body and keeps everything in order. However, whenever I’m with other people I tend to overeat and eat more than my body can tolerate just to prove to others that YES, I EAT. The result is that I almost always end up with a massive stomach ache.

    I know that I should not let peoples’ comments affect me this way but it’s hard to continuously ignore them. Everyone’s eating patterns are different and just because someone eats differently than you DOES NOT mean that they have some sort of eating disorder. People should not only stop saying hurtful things to others but should also stop making assumptions based on peoples’ weights or eating habits. Just because someone is thin does not mean that they are secure enough with their body to be unaffected by malicious comments. Everyone is human and deserves to be treated that way, no matter what their size.

    Thank you Julie and Sarah for sharing your thoughts on this issue and starting this discussion!

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    • Lorin says

      I totally agree with you on this! I always feel as if I have to prove that I indulge but indulging too much. I try not to let other people’s comments bother me, but I guess that’s how I handle it because it starts getting old after awhile when people are like come on eat a piece of cake, eat this eat that. It’s like okay, I indulge but I balance it out. Leave me alone,haha. 🙂

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  129. Rachel says

    I cannot tell you how much I relate to this story. As a ruler-shaped, size 0 girl, I often feel like the term “real woman” doesn’t apply to me according to today’s media/cultural standards. It’s disheartening and, as I’ve matured and become surrounded more often by full-figured women my age, makes me feel increasingly self conscious. Thank you for this post!

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  130. says

    I commend you both – – Julie and Sarah – – for this phenomenal discussion. Brave, kind, and wise.

    I also LOL’d at the “dance around the shower” comment – love the grandpas. And when I read this post and ALL of its comments, I think of when my own grandpa used to tell me, “Sweetie, don’t judge until you have walked a mile in someone else’s moccasins.”

    True words. Kudos to Julie and Sarah and to everyone who weighed in on this with a fresh dose of insight into why we should never wish to break the human spirit. Even inadvertently.

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  131. Dena B says

    Great post…Great discussion…I get comments alot about my large hips and I always think “wow” did they just state the obvious for me or for them. I’m 42 years old I think I know how wide my hips are by now…

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  132. says

    Preach it Sarah! Know you’re not alone. There are so many different forms of beauty and tons of judgmental people who no matter what will try and bring you down. As long as you’re proud of who you are is all that matters.

    Like Pink said, “You’re F$ck#n% PERFECT!” :)))))

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  133. Hannah says

    I nearly cried reading this post! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU to Sarah & Julie for sharing this story. I grew up being verrry skinny and I always got called a “twig” or “bean pole.” Of course, I secretly loved it but it also messed me up a little bit. For example, I HATE HATE HATE the saying that “real women have curves.” Who came up with that? I want to be considered womanly too!

    When I got to college & gained 10 pounds it made me look much more average-sized & it freaked me out to not be ‘skinny’ for the first time in my life. I’m 20 now and I still have insecurities about looking boyish because I feel so feminine on the inside, but these A-cups just aren’t foolin anyone 😉

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  134. Lorin says

    This post is definitely true! There are so many times when I’m eating a salad or eating healthy and people always so, “Oh come on, you are skinny, eat more.” It’s like, okay, you didn’t see what I’ve been eating all day, maybe I had a lot of grains earlier in the day and want to balance with veggies. It’s annoying when people have to comment on how people eat, either naturally thin or heavier. It’s really not anyone’s buisness to put down what others are eating. Especially in front of a bunch of people at a dining table or parties, it’s just rude. I wouldn’t say, well why are you eating a plate full of cookies. I’m not saying that’s bad, I love cookies! I just know how to balance it and I guess people want you to join in their indulgences.

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  135. says

    What a great post! Thank you Sarah for sharing your story! I’ve always been envous of some women and i suppose i always will, no matter my size! I’ve always compared myself to other people in lots of areas- not just weight, and body image! The way we look is such an immensely personal thing. Women can be so judgemental regarding each other’s bodies and sizes, it’s ridiculous. I have apprehension that being overweight i’m always being looked at, and it may be happening or it may just be me being self-conscious.

    We need to love each other, respect one other, and let each person be who they are no matter what!

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  136. says

    Good points, Sarah. I do find that many women judge thin AND overweight women, and while I think society is biased against the overweight, women are far more vocal in criticism to a thin woman. For a great example any day of the week, read the comments on Glamour.com! Women constantly criticize celebrities and models for being too thin, often very harshly, yet when a plus-sized reader or model is featured commenters do not complain about her weight. Instead they congratulate Glamour for picturing a “real” women. Real women come in many shapes and sizes! And as an artist, I find beauty in all men and women. We are each uniquely beautiful. I hope that someday society moves beyond viewing weight as an appearance issue, and can instead address only the health aspects of the topic.

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  137. says

    I am just catching up in blogland and read this post and tears almost came to my eyes! LOVE THIS POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can SO relate to Sarah’s story!!!!! I’ve been teased ever since I was little about being thin. I have always been known as a “skinny mini” amongst my family/friends… and although my family get’s it (because, well, they’re just like me!) I grew up hearing “gosh, how do you stay so thin?” or “I hate how it’s so easy for you to stay so skinny.” It definitely led to self-confidence issues and me feeling judged by others, and it wasn’t until I picked up running and weight training that I feel like i’ve been able to view myself as a “strong” person… just because I’ve always grown up hearing how skinny/thin I was. In my heart, I’ve always known I am strong, though. Heck, in my HS gym class, I won the pullup contest by about 30 seconds and every girl was AMAZED that I could hold myself up on the bar longer than them… and even longer than some of the guys who couldn’t do pullups! Sure, I may be “slim”, but I sure am strong!! And now that I’ve been putting on even *more* muscle, I’m even stronger! I seriously have the most confidence now than I ever did growing up. Although, I’m still majorily self-conscoious about my collar bones. I think they’ll always be pokey, though.. as my mom/aunt/cousins are the exact same way. There is no reason for me to ashamed of something that is such a part of my family. It’s makes us unique, and it gives us something to bond over, lol!!!

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  138. Jacquelyn says

    I love your blog and positivity towards a healthy lifestyle 🙂 I’m so glad Sarah’s story was featured. I can relate to both sides of the story when it comes to being treated badly for being overweight or thin. I have recently lost 80 pounds. I used to be considered in the ‘obese’ category and transformed into a different person through a healthy, balanced diet and regular exercise. I used to be the person that was picked on for being overweight, and the only thing worse than that has been the way I have been treated since losing the weight. People make comments like “you need to eat something” or “you need to put bricks in your pockets so you don’t blow away” and find it easy to make comments because I’m thin. Telling thin people to put some weight on is like telling someone that is overweight that they need to lose some weight (which, if you were told to lose weight, wouldn’t you be offended?). I’m still self conscious now, actually probably moreso than when I was overweight. Sarah’s story really got the point across and I could not agree with her viewpoints more. Thanks!

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  139. says

    Oh my goodness thank you for saying this. I am in the same boat as you (I am very thin and I am also very petite at 5’1″), and I’ve had people tell me to eat more or that I need to gain weight, blah blah blah. Well, I eat quantities that are more that sufficient (plus I certainly indulge in the typical “no no” foods like pasta and bread), and my body has naturally maintained the same weight for so many years now that I know it’s where it wants to be. I am happy and healthy and certainly not deprived, so I don’t give a hoot what others say!

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  140. Lee @ in the pink of condition says

    I can totally agree with Sarah. I am also very petite, a size 00, and I have to get all of my clothes tailored. I frequently get comments about my weight from my family and have gotten a lot of comments from my peers, people saying that i’m “anorexic” or that I have body issues, when in fact I have always been this way. It makes me sad when people comment on my looks or my weight, because I don’t do that to anyone else. I’m glad Sarah was able to point out this problem.

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  141. R says

    “As a “curvier” girl (okay, so I only have curves in my butt – not the boobs), I will admit that I am frequently envious of body types like Sarah’s and other naturally lean women. I think lean, petite bodies are beautiful.”

    No offence, but I find the fact that you are particularly pointing out thin bodies as beautiful is just encouraging the whole hype of having to be thin and that being thin is ideal.

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  142. says

    I just want to let you know I tried your workout you suggested in this post yesterday and I loved it! I ran 15 minutes, did the eliptical 15 minutes, then ended my workout with 2 sets of your suggested exercises from the post! It was great and I was super sweaty. I also did my workout while listening the the new “Workout” genre station on Pandora! Score!

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  143. Cortney says

    The reason (and I’m not saying I agree with it) it is more socially acceptable to say to someone, “you’re so skinny”, is because generally, it is said out of jealousy. I know several naturally thin people who “claim” they don’t watch what they eat or exercise. This is soooo frustrating to me, because I am one of the many women who really have to watch what I eat and exercise almost everyday just to maintain my weight. Which is much higher than the “naturally thin” people. In our society, it is feminine for women to not weigh much. So, even though men say they like curves, women who struggle with losing/maintaining their weight, are going to be jealous of those thin people who don’t have to work at it. The reason people don’t say “you’re so fat”, is because that’s not what anyone longs for. So many women strive to be thin, and when it comes naturally to other women, the words sometimes just come out, out of jealousy. Everyone has insecurities, and those naturally thin people really shouldn’t be victims of others’ desire to be thin. But, with our society obsessing that thin=beautiful, be it in print, on TV, etc., I doubt it will stop happening any time soon.

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  144. Vicki says

    Reading through all these comments, it’s very obvious that no matter what your size, everyone has been picked on or felt self-conscious about their bodies. We could go on all day about whether skinny or fat people have it worse…the fact is, we all need to be secure with what we have been blessed with and love ourselves. Work hard, eat healthy and be proud! Even the person with a “perfect” body gets picked on for a big nose, squeaky voice, frizzy hair, whatever! So don’t waste time wishing you were smaller or bigger… haters will just find something else to pick on! Live with confidence ladies!

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  145. Daniel says

    I did this circuit workout 3x this morning and felt amazing afterwards. I was wearing a heartrate monitor and burned over 700 calories in 45 minutes. Thanks for sharing and I really enjoy reading your blog 🙂

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  146. Molly P. says

    I’m so late to the game commenting on this post! But I was really moved by Sarah’s story and by you, Julie, providing her a place on your blog to tell it.

    Growing up, I was very, very thin. I had an enormous appetite but just happened to be blessed with a speedy metabolism. I never thought much about my weight, or in comparions to others, until people started making comments. They were never particularly ruthless or malicious, but I found myself getting offended simply by comments like, “Eat something!” or “Oh my God, you’re so skinny.” It grew increasingly uncomfortable when people brought up anorexica . Again, I was never point-blank asked, but it was joked about. I never experienced anything to the degree that Sarah describes, and I’m so sorry she had to endure all of that 🙁

    Women, for whatever reason, are very judgemental towards each other. We can be each other’s worst enemies when it comes to body image. We make fun of women for their size, their clothes/make up, and all I can ask is, why?

    Maybe it’s cliched, but a woman’s size is not what makes her beautiful or ugly. It is her personality, how she treats others etc. No one has any right to talk about or comment on someone else’s apperance for any reason.

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  147. says

    I know this is an old post but I just wanted to say thank you for posting it. I am the same size as Sarah and feel the same way. It gets old listening to people questions your eating habits. It is possible to have a fast metabolism and remain thin while eating decent meals.
    Thank you very much for sharing her story.

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