Permission to Kiss

My fellow circuit workout fanatics, I have a good one for you today!

Following a 20-minute warm up on the elliptical this morning, I completed three rounds of the following circuit:

total body circuit workout

The circuit made my muscles burn and my heart rate escalate quickly, leaving me quite the sweaty mess!

Here are some links to videos or descriptions of the exercises that may be confusing:

Breakfast

Breakfast this morning was the usual egg sandwich served with a side of fresh strawberries.

egg sandwich 035

Whole wheat English muffin + Two fried eggs + Muenster cheese + Jelly

egg sandwich 037egg sandwich 038

Now let’s talk about kissin’!

Permission to Kiss

Last night Ryan didn’t get home until around 9 p.m. because he had plans to play golf with a coworker. This left me with a wide open evening.

Though I ended up sitting at my desk for longer than usual, at around 7:30 p.m., I plopped myself on the couch with Sadie and we watched horrifically fabulous girly television.

The Millionaire Matchmaker.

millionaire matchmaker

I find this show oddly entertaining and often agree with the advice matchmaker Patti gives to her clients. She’s blunt and abrasive (she would surely make me cry) but seems to genuinely want her clients to fall in love.

In the episode I watched last night, Patti was actually matched with two different men since she recently broke up with her boyfriend of seven years. On her first date, she was matched with a guy who, at the end of the date, asked her permission to kiss her.

I instantly cringed.

I laughed when Patti’s staff, upon reviewing the date, also cringed when the guy asked permission to give Patti a kiss.

While I can totally see why guys would think this is gentlemanly and sweet, and can understand why it might really appeal to some girls, it is so off-putting to me!

never ask

I guess I just prefer the guy to be gutsy and go in for the kill. I would hope he’d be able to read my signals properly and make his decision based off the things I say and my body language.

tongue

Thoughts?

Questions of the Morning

  • Do you think a guy asking a girl for permission to kiss her is really sweet or completely cringe-worthy?
  • Any horrific kissing stories out there? Please entertain me. It’s Friday.

P.S. The fashion page was updated this morning!

Comments

  1. says

    I am totally on the same page as you! I think it’s kinda creepy and odd to ask permission to kiss you. It’s much more romantic and natural to just go in for the kill when you feel the timing is right.

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  2. says

    haha i love sadie sayings! and my dogs neverrrr ask for permission, especially when waking up in the morning. I have a horrific “kiss” which more actually seemed like a frontal ‘face butt’…hahaha ohhhhh 8th grade…

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  3. Anne @strawberryjampackedlife says

    That guy was creeptastic anyway. Ugh! I liked the second guy though.

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  4. says

    Hmmm well it may be the feminist in me, but I prefer either party asking permission if there is even a shade of doubt. I think of it as a sign of a respect, since kissing is pretty personal business 😉

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    • says

      Catherine, I agree. And if you’ve ever been kissed by someone you didn’t want to kiss, you’d have appreciated the asking first! LOL… But I also think it can be done in a sweet, gentlemanly way and not done creepily. After all, creepy is as creepy does.

      Nice circuits btw! I’m impressed that you did two kinds of squats in a row and two triceps ones in a row. Is that that micro-targeting method?

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  5. Lauren says

    Cringe! I’m with you, I like the boy to be the boy and if he can’t tell whether I want him to kiss me, he probably shouldn’t!

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  6. Summer says

    Oh god, I wasn’t expecting my first kiss. I turned while leaning in to say something while he was going for the gold. Our faces basically ricocheted off each other. sexxxxyyyyy

    Nothings worse then the guy who vortexes your entire mouth in and seems to eat half your face. Easy there slugger

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  7. says

    Ok, I have to first say that I cannot stand that show. Some of the things Patti says about a woman’s role make me absolutely cringe. Oy!

    On the kissing thing, I guess I prefer a guy to just go for it, especially if (like you said) I’m sending out the signals that it’s a go. The first time my boyfriend kissed me, he picked me up, swung me around, and went for it. It was playful, sweet, and probably the best kiss I’ve ever had in my life. We’ve been together for five years, and (I can’t believe I’m admitting this) sometimes I make him recreate it : )

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  8. says

    I hated it when they would ask! I always turned into a super awkward idiot and made it weird for both of us haha… My husband and I first kissed on a drunken dare. Romantic, isn’t it?! The second kiss I attacked his face, he said “ouch”, and I died a little. Looking back, I find it hilarious that we managed to create a relationship in college. (Too. Much. Beer.)

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  9. says

    Omg I definitely had a guy ask permission once. The worst part is, it was right outside my college dorm and my friends were spying from the balcony. When I came up to my room they were dying laughing!

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  10. says

    I agree… go in for the kill. It would totally kill the moment if the guy asked! Though I can see how some women would find this to be really respectful and appreciate it, I am not one of them!

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  11. Emily says

    I don’t have any good stories to tell about my experiences besides the usual sloppy, nasty, wet ones that I’m sure we have all experienced at least once in our lifetime. BUT… one of my girlfriends got bit by a guy! Not like he nibbled on her bottom lip to try to be sexy, he full on bit her… and she doesn’t think he realized it because he did it AGAIN. Some guys really need to watch a kissing tutorial lol 🙂

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  12. says

    My friend is a sex educator, and she always really emphasizes the importance of getting consent for Everything, especially first kisses. It may seem less romantic, but you should make sure the other person is ok with what you’re doing and you aren’t making them feel pressured or uncomfortable. People misinterpret my body language a lot of the time, so I appreciate someone asking if they can kiss me so I have the chance to say no if it isn’t what I want. I tend to ask for permission before kissin someone too, just because some dates are ambiguous, and when I do it’s usually met with approval and my partners appreciate my respecting their space. I think it can be sort of sweet and romantic to ask instead of just diving right in.

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  13. says

    Ya know, I think it really depends on the situation/personalities, so I can see it going both ways. Generally, if you have to ask & don’t *know* that the other person wants to kiss you, they probably dont.

    And as for the tongue, I just posted some hysterical photos of my Vizsla showing off her tongue today. I was inspired by all your adorable Sadie photos.

    http://www.clickthegoodnews.com/2012/05/04/mia-the-mashed-potatoes/

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  14. says

    That is one of those instances where I completely believe in gender roles and think the guy should gauge how the date is going and kiss if it seems appropriate. I really like when a guy takes charge like that.

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  15. Erin says

    I don’t think guys should ask. If they have to ask it probably means the date is not going well. That’s something that should happen naturally.

    My dog is more a fan of wet willies than kisses these days. And she definitely uses tongue :-/

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  16. says

    haha bravo tv is excellent girl television! my husband usually runs out of the room anytime i turn it on, but for some reason if its Millionaire Matchmaker, he can’t tear himself away. must be something to do with the abundance of awkward situations (like the one u mentioned above)….like a trainwreck, you cant stop watching!

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  17. says

    I hate guys who are constantly asking permission to do things! One time at a party I was talking to a guy who asked if it was okay for him to ask me on a date. What?? I get wanting consent but don’t ask if it’s okay to ask… that’s weird. I also agree with the people above who mentioned the super slop kissers!

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  18. says

    A friend of mine had a crush on this girl for a long time and finally got up the nerve to ask her on a date. He took her to a nice dinner, then on top of the Kennedy Center overlooking all of DC. He then asked to kiss her and her response was “uhh I guess.” Needless to say, there was not a date number 2.

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  19. says

    I definitely would prefer the guy to just go for it. But I have to say, I had a guy that I was NOT into at all starting drunkenly trying to kiss me in college. We were in a stairwell, and I couldn’t get away, and he just kept lunging and I kept dodging.
    … Rereading that it makes it look almost like date rape. It wasn’t… he was a sweet guy that I’m friends with, he was just drunk. I was trying not to laugh the whole time 😛

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  20. Liana says

    CRINGE WORTHY. 95% chance if he has to ask then the moment is not right, when the moment is right then someone goes in for the kill. Plus, it makes the situation so awkward if you don’t want to kiss….”sorry I don’t kiss on the first date….” lol 🙂

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  21. Melissa says

    I have been asked if they guy could kiss me before. It makes the whole situation more awkward.- Now I am just sitting here staring at your face wondering if you are going to kiss me, or if you want me to kiss you.

    However, I have also been kissed by people I did not particularly want to kiss me. When I was in high school one guy who “liked” me started talking to me (I guess trying to be romantic?) in spanish. I don’t understand spanish and it freaked me out! The only words I could understand were heart, and love. Uhh, spanish boy say what?! Then, he rocketed toward my face, and went in for a really slobbery kiss. I pulled away and I remember wiping my lips afterward (I couldn’t help it he was practically drooling on me!). He was clearly horrified, and never spoke to me again. – It would have been okay if he asked first… in a language I speak. 🙂

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  22. says

    a guy asked me this on a date once and I was so turned off. I decided right then and there that I would not go out with him again. Obviously, if the date had been going well I could have probably overlooked it, but I already was unsure and that just pushed it over the edge for me. Just thinking about it makes me feel awkward for him and myself and it was years ago ahaha.

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  23. Christina says

    I have a horrific kiss story for you! I was on my third date with a guy, and we decided to go to a professional sporting event. Well wouldn’t you know it, but we ended up getting featured on the “kiss cam” during one of the intermissions – only we hadn’t had our first kiss yet!!!! We both sat there mortified while the camera remained on us, and I finally awkwardly pecked him on the cheek, and the stadium BOOED us! It was so embarrassing (and needless to say the relationship didn’t go anywhere). My friends still laugh about that story, all these years later. Even now, when I’m at a game with my husband and the Kiss Cam comes up, I run in the other direction!

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  24. Amy says

    Jeez, everyone is so judgmental! My boyfriend (who was my good friend for about 3-4 years and who I’ve known for 12 years) asked me if he could kiss me after our first date. Maybe our situation is different because we were still kind of in that “are we really going to take our friendship to the next level?” place, but I thought it was sweet. I guess I just don’t see why it’s a turnoff for someone to ask if they can kiss you…

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  25. says

    permission to kiss maybe if you are a teenager..but later on in life is just awkward. I guess it also depends on what you prefer..i’d rather my guy just take charge. I’m pretty sure *i’m* usually the one that goes in for the first kiss anyways, why wait for him? hahaha

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  26. mel says

    Do not ask permission to kiss me or hold my hand…that is just weird!! If a girl is not feeling a guy, he should be able to tell!!

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  27. Cindy says

    Usually I agree but it can be cute if done in the right way. Once someone said “Is it weird that I kinda wanna make out with you right now?” Somehow, I thought that was adorable…or it could have just been the guy that I thought was adorable 😉

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  28. Miriam says

    I totally agree!! It’s such a turn off. But I’ve seen that in movies plenty of times… It’s only nice in movies. In real life, I am pretty sure that most girls will agree with you : don’t ask!

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  29. says

    this is forcing me to remember wayyyy back. 9 years ago way back. I was just 20 when my husband and I started dating. (he was 31-hahahaha, thought I was older) His first kiss was on my damn forehead. Good gravy I thought he was pathetic for a minute. Then he kissed my hand, then my nose, and finally….

    Yes. go in for the kill. Even if you dance around it a minute….in fact, YES, dance around it. It’s quite effective, in my experience.

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  30. says

    Bahahahaha Sadie.

    Guys: just for it. Ask me for permission, and I may laugh at you. I’m not a mean person … but that situation would make me feel so uncomfortable I would laugh my way out of it. Just go in for the kill.

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  31. Laurel says

    John took so long to kiss me that I just kissed him…nothing crazy…just a quick peck on the lips…my heart about pounded out of my chest. We wandered around a few hours later and then the most obvious moment for him to kiss me presented itself…nada…finally I just asked him “are you gonna kiss me or what?”…he laughed and finally kissed me. So technically I asked…and it was not awkward 😉

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  32. says

    I missed on my first kiss. True story. It was at homecoming in tenth grade, and my date and I were slow dancing. I could tell he was about to kiss me, so I closed my eyes like they do in the movies…and ended up with a mouthful of chin. Since we were both heinously awkward 15 year olds…it was heinously awkward. I’d like to think I’ve improved since then.

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  33. says

    Definitely awkward to ask. In the movies they always make it seem so romantic to be like “now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to kiss you now” and the girl is all *swwwooooonnnn*… but I just really don’t believe that’s the case in real life.

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  34. LG says

    My biggest thing isn’t about a guy going in for the kiss per se, but I HATE it when a guy doesn’t have a “define the relationship” talk before getting physical. I mean, what does the “hanging out” mean? A friendship with benefits? Just a good time with no commitment? I think if a guy is man enough to go in for a kiss, he should have a conversation with the girl sometime that evening and tell her how much he likes her and wants her to be his girlfriend. Otherwise he should get a kick to the nuts when he tries to kiss her. :0)

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  35. Annie says

    On a first date about 4-5 weeks ago I was asked “How bad do you want me to kiss you right now?” I did not want this guy to kiss me, I was not interested, but I figured it would be easier to give a little peck than to turn him down and have it be awkward for the rest of the night. So, in describing with both numbers and adjectives I said something like a 7.735 and I don’t even remember the adjective. And he told me that that was a pretty good response for a first date, but he’d have to take me out again because he doesn’t even kiss on the first date!! Talk about one of the most douche-bag moves I have ever experienced! What if I had really wanted him to kiss me? I would’ve been so embarrassed!

    Also, let me just say that there are two main reasons why I do not like him: one, he is shorter than me, and I’m pretty short (5’4). At the end of the night, to “kiss me goodnight” he had to pull my head down to kiss me on the forehead. ICK! and Two, his ego is taller than he is, he always makes you feel like it’s YOUR pleasure to be with HIM and not the other way around. He also told me on that date “This date worked out in your favor since we decided to dress up, because I look pretty dang good tonight” (Yes, he was talking about himself).

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  36. says

    if you had asked me that 3 weeks ago, I would have said the same. I absolutely hated when guys were all shy. But now… I have met that super cute, super sweet, super awesome guy, who is kinda shy and who actually ASKED if he could kiss me. To my surprise, I didn´t mind, since I like him that much. Luckily, though, on our first real date, he didn´t ask, but just kissed me instead 😉
    Seriously, it depends on the guy, I have learned.

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  37. melissa says

    I think it’s interesting how aversive someone asking for permission can be. I agree that it sounds strange and awkward, but at the same time it’s kind of unfair to assume that a guy will always be able to just understand when a girl wants to be kissed via body language. It doesn’t seem like a big deal for kissing because the worst is that you kiss someone you don’t want, but if we expect men to just read our body language and take it as our consent, what would happen if they misread our body language in a more serious or intimate situation, if you get my drift.
    Maybe we should be a bit more accepting and appreciative that a guy wants to respect our boundaries and not put us in an uncomfortable situation – it can be a little weird at first but it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not confident!

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    • says

      i know and i can TOTALLY see why some people would like it or why guys would think it’s a nice thing to do. it really is… in theory. i don’t know why it just seems so awkward to me! but i agree that being accepting of boundaries is VERY important.

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  38. tjordan says

    Thanks for the workout…totally doing this one today! I love your blog and all of the great things that you put on here. Thanks for all of your efforts!

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  39. says

    Wow, I wish some guys had asked me before they dove in – there is nothing worse than someone misreading my signals! But romance = spontaniety for this girl. 🙂 Sadie, that is quite the sweater you have on! Stylin’ Sadie…

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  40. says

    Oh I would totally cringe if a guy asked to kiss me!! My first kiss was actually pretty horrific haha…at least in my memory. I felt like he was mauling my face with his mouth and I’m pretty sure he slobbered all over me. After that I was wondering why everyone enjoyed kissing! Then I had my first good kiss and I got it 😉

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  41. Alexandra says

    I did the circuit workout today at the gym and wow you weren’t kidding! I was defintitely sweating by the end! Only change I did was separating the dips and tricep extensions because I heard you’re not supposed to work the same muscle group back to back. Thanks for another fun workout!

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  42. says

    Omg so excited about this post and to read everyone’s comments! I couldn’t agree more with you… I HATE it when a guy asks if he can kiss me. Then there’s that awkward… uhh yes? Totally ruins the moment!! I once dated a guy who I swear didn’t know how to kiss… he’d literally use his teeth and try and bite my whole mouth? It sounds as disgusting as it was. I tried to help him out a little but in the end I knew I couldn’t date him anymore when I began to dread the end of the night!

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  43. Amanda says

    My fiance and I had our first kiss in my dorm room. He didn’t ask if he could kiss me, it was like their was a magnet forcing us together. It just happened. Those are the kind of first kisses that are magical. Although, he basically shoved his tongue down my throat after our lips touched. It was weird. I pulled out of the kiss. I was so disappointed. I really, really liked him though so I thought we better give it another shot. We noticed that we had two different kissing styles, so he said let’s try that again. Then he pulled me in and kissed me again. Our second kiss was perfect. I still make fun of him to this day. He’s gotten a lot better… lol 🙂

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    • Debbie says

      Ugh, I’m in the same predicament at the moment. I’ve recently kissed this guy who I’ve just started dating. And my god, he was terrible. I know I sound harsh, but it was like really bad. I now know what people mean when they use the expression “like a washing machine” to describe a kiss. It’s a shame because we get on so well, and I really like his personality, but the kissing thing is just such a deal breaker for me, unfortunately! Although you’re story has given
      me a little hope, maybe I should give the guy a second chance! Haha

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        • Amanda says

          I always tell him that I taught him how to kiss. I seriously want to know just how bad his ex’s were or if they liked that kind of “style.” I knew that he really liked me. He explained it then and still today, that we had two totally different kissing “styles.” Then I normally say, “Yeah, your style was bad.”

          I was the SAME way after our rocky first kiss… Kissing was going to be a deal breaker for me. I literally thought that in the moment. You have got to be kidding me was all I kept thinking because like I said, I REALLY liked him and I felt so comfortable talking to him that I just couldn’t let him go. So, we gave the kiss another shot – have been kissing ever since, and got engaged over Christmas! 🙂

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  44. Lauren says

    I also find it totally cringe-worthy when guys ask permission to kiss a girl. If you can’t tell that the answer is yes, odds are you shouldn’t try it. I do have a pretty funny story about this though…

    Once upon a time, I was talking to a male acquaintance of mine. I had no interest in him and was keeping the convo strictly above board even though this was following a late night out drinking. I am about 1000% positive that I wasn’t giving out any kiss-me vibes. Regardless, at one point he started looking at me all seriously and asked if he could kiss me. I said no and started trying to tell him politely that I wasn’t interested, when he went in for the kill anyway. I literally blocked his face with my hand to keep him from kissing me. His response? “Oh man, that’s the second time that’s happened to me this week!”

    Seriously?!?

    Moral of the story: If you’re going to ask, at least listen to the answer.

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  45. says

    Bahaha Sadie is cracking my up today!

    In terms of the kissing question, I think it’s really a matter of how it’s done. For example, if I guy walks you to your door and acts all Ryan Gosling Notebook-esque, tucks your hair behind your ear and asks in a sultry voice if he can kiss you (while leaning in for the kill anyway) – then by all means, Ryan, ask away! But if they’re all “so dude, can I like kiss you now?” or WORSE “Can..umm..I… umm…kiss you…?” Then back off bud, it’s not going to work. haha.

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  46. says

    I think it’s sweet. I think this is mostly because of the movie Now and Then when Devon Sawa’s character asks Christina Ricci’s if he can kiss her. He just looks so sweet and vulnerable and it’s such a cute moment! If I liked the guy I’d definitely think it was cute.

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  47. Annalise says

    So I have to say that this happened to me! I dated a guy a few years back and on the eve of our first “official” date, we met up with some of his coworkers for happy hour and afterward, when he walked me to my car, he asked if he could kiss me so it wouldn’t be awkward on our “first” date. I have to say that was a turn off! I mean, you’re right, read the girl and see if she’s ready for it! Needless to say, my fiance, a different guy, waiting until date #4 to kiss me because he could tell I wasn’t ready. To me, that’s a man and why I’m marrying him!

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  48. says

    I agree that seeing a guy intuitive enough to know when to go for it, is more appealing than the other. It shows a confidence on his part, and that’s always attractive!

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  49. says

    Great workout. Saving that one. Ick, if a guy asked if he would kiss me it would turn me off instantly. I find it completely awkward! It is just the worst, there is no non awkward response to that in my opinion. It would be hard to come back from that one.

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  50. Rachael says

    100% agree and i love the millionaire matchmaker! it is one of my many guilty pleasure shows. also, sadie is so darn cute! i come from a “boxer family” but your blog has made me seriously consider getting a viszla when the time is right…

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  51. Lin says

    I once dated a guy that asked if he could kiss me….. every.single.time. Then he’d assign names for the kisses. For instance: He cooked me dinner one night and afterward he said “Can I get a dinner kiss?” Another time I saw him briefly on Easter as I was driving through his city on the way to my hometown and he asked “Can I get an Easter kiss?” He was a super nice guy but this drove me nuts.

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  52. says

    Right after moving to a new city, I joined a group of new hires at my company for a night out on the town. We were at a nightclub on the dance floor and one of them leaned in and said “kiss me, kiss me!” in a really awkward, but forceful way. It was so offputting that I grabbed one of the girls with us and ran away to another part of the club! haha. A couple weeks later I was on a first date (with the guy who I’d end up dating for almost 2 years) and told him about that awkward refused kiss as a funny joke. Apparently he took that story super seriously and didn’t try to kiss me for the entire 1st month of our dating! Lesson learned – never share stores like this on a first date.

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  53. cora says

    i went on a few blind dates before i met my now-husband. there were many cringeworthy moments, including one guy who left me repeated messages begging, yes begging, me to call him back. after hearing “come oooon, talk to meeeeeeeeeeee” in a high-pitched whine, i vowed to never again go near the fellow.

    but i digress. awkward kissing story? i went on a very casual date (along the lines of “hey i’ll be here, so if you are too that’s fine”) with a reasonably ok guy. there was no chemistry, but he was smart and entertaining, so we at least had some good conversation. i gave absolutely zero “oh yes i am interested in you romantically” signals because, well, i wasn’t at all. and frankly, as he was not shy about sharing the heavy tranquilizers he took three times a day i did not think he was really trying to impress me either. shows what i know.
    after dinner and a beer, he walked me to the subway. i didn’t ask him to, he just did it. uh oh. he started getting weird, acting very awkward and nervous. i said something along the lines of “hey nice to see you. have a great night!” and he leaned in to say,
    “i have something to ask you. would you.. would you.. like to be kissed?”

    D’OH.

    i nearly started laughing form the awkwardness. but i’m not a jerk. so i politely declined, and he reached out to SHAKE MY HAND.
    the next day he invited me to a bbq. i declined. two weeks later i met the man i ended up marrying. the man who, by the way, just went for a kiss without asking first because it was so obvious we were both into each other.

    moral of the story: if you have to ask/beg/deceive/manipulate, she’s probably just not that into you.

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  54. says

    My first kiss is a horror/comedy story for the ages. Please note, everything in “quotes” should be internally recited with a heavy Spanish accent.

    Very long story short, I was in a night club on the last night of a cruise with a female friend I’d met and the guy who did audio on the ship, who I ended up talking with a bunch. Just the three of us (I was 18, this didn’t seem bad to me then). The guy was Giovanni from Costa Rica (so strange), and he’d just finished telling me and the other girl that his girlfriend at home was bisexual, and he “let’s her have the ladies, if he can watch” (what a charmer) when another guy joined us. He spoke rapid Spanish to Giovanni, who immediately got up and put on a salsa tune.

    I dance salsa with my brothers in our kitchen, so I (stupidly) thought nothing of it when Giovanni started dancing with me. Within 10 seconds he was rather aggressively kissing me and I was in shock. I remained in shock when he stopped, looked me in the eye and said, “you look so innocent, but you are not.” Seriously.

    So I told him that it had been my first kiss. He looked mortified, apologized up and down, and kept me at arms length so I thought everything was settled. Until he pulled me tight against him, tried to roam with his hands, and delivered the best line I’ve ever gotten: “So, you have never been…touched…by a man?”

    I was out of that night club in 2 seconds flat.

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  55. says

    Hey, I was wondering if you ladies had the same mentality about sexual encounters; would you rather the man know you are into him through body language and not ask, or do you think it’s better for him to make sure you are OK with it?
    ~Ego

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