Writing My Matron of Honor Speech

Friday is officially on the horizon and today is flying by! Ryan and I have both had some late nights at work this week, but today we should be home at a decent hour and I’m hopeful that a long evening walk with Sadie is in store.

Today was a shorter day at work and after I taught TRX and worked through the rest of the morning, I grabbed lunch in the break room, worked a little more and headed home in the early afternoon.

Lunch

Lunch today (which was photographed yesterday) was another rendition of my chickpea salad served with pulled chicken and feta cheese.

DSC_0551

The feta added a lot of flavor to the salad. I’m a fan!

chickpea salad with chicken and feta

Writing My Matron of Honor Speech

After lunch, I sat down at the computer to go over my matron of honor speech. I keep waking up in the middle of the night with new ideas or important things I want to incorporate into my speech at Leslie and Ross’ wedding next Saturday.

Since I’ve known Ross for more than 10 years (he was Ryan’s best friend in college) and think my sister is basically the best person in the entire world, I want to make sure my speech is heartfelt, loving and conveys just how much they both mean to me and how much I love them together.

Though I’ve been a bridesmaid in a number of weddings and spoke at Merri and Pete’s rehearsal dinner last October, I’ve never been a maid/matron of honor before and feel really nervous! I know Leslie and Ross are really laidback, so I don’t feel pressure from them or anything, but I want my speech to be good for them!

If you’ve ever given a speech at a wedding or seen some seriously rockstar maid of honor or best man speeches, I’d love any advice you may have when it comes to writing a good one!

Comments

  1. Kaci says

    My brother’s best man gave one of the best speeches ever. They’d been roommates for years and so it was something like “10 Things to Know about Living with Scott”. He then told funny stories about things that happened while living with my brother and followed each of them with a sweet reason on why that made my brother a good person. Like he told a story about how one night my brother was going to make everyone omelets. He even took everyone’s order about what veggies they wanted. He then proceeded to forget to add eggs (yes to the omelets) and set off the fire alarm. He’ll go to the ends of the earth (or attempt something he has no idea how to do) to take care of people. I’m not doing a great job of describing it, but it was the perfect combination of funny and touching.

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  2. Sky says

    I was the matron of honor at my best friend’s wedding in September. My whole speech was built aound the premise of how we’d been best friends for 15 years and spent many memorable moments together (both happy and sad) and that I was turning that privilege over to her husband. It was sweet to see how much it meant to him to see that I trusted him I be her number 1 person.

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    • says

      Haha. I did to, Monica!

      I haven’t given a speech of this caliber, Julie (I have one younger brother, unmarried, and none of my close friends are married yet), so I can’t give you much advice other than speak from the heart, which I’m sure you will. As you may know (being married and all), it wasn’t necessarily the lovely things that were said by my man of honor and best man, but the love with which they were delivered. Best of luck!

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  3. Bridget says

    I think you’re on the right track. I think the best speeches are ones where the person talks about the bride or groom and then makes sure to talk about them as a couple. (That is after all the reason for the big party!) You seem to be in a special position to speak about them both individually and also together, which I’m sure will make for a wonderful speech! Good luck with the nerves, but I’m sure you’ll do a great job and they will both love whatever you decide to say.

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  4. Kari F says

    I know you’ll come up with something good! Share some great stories and moments, but try not to refer to any “inside jokes” that no one else will understand. You don’t want to leave out the rest of the guests! Talk about some of the travels you have all taken together.

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  5. Fiona MacDonald says

    We got married this past October and our best man gave honestly what I thought was the best speech I’ve ever heard, it was funny and emotional with a hint of a few low blows for my husband to be….honestly I am HAPPY to share it with you if you need some inspiration. I think if you just speak from the heart ( the MOH is always supposed to be more emotional-we’re girls!) then it will be a winner!

    You’ll be awesome!! Maybe have Ryan help you out to add some extra jabs in about Ross??? ;)

    Good luck!

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  6. Elisabeth says

    I’ve only given one maid of honor speech (my best friend’s wedding last summer) & was super nervous about it (I hate public speaking). I went with a fairly short speech – less time for me standing up in front of everyone, but also because most people don’t want to listen to an endless speech of too personal of memories. It was short & sweet, but also got the point across about how much I cared about her – basically the gist of the speech was that all you need is love (Beatles fan here ;) ). Good luck!

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  7. says

    The greatest speech I’ve heard was at my friend Kelly’s wedding two summers ago. Her younger sister (Jackie) had actually started writing the speech during her freshman year of college. Kelly met her husband as a freshman at the same college, and Jackie wrote about how she hoped to meet someone who would be the other half of a relationship as great as Kelly’s. There was obviously more to the speech than that, but there were quite a few tears when Jackie read just the first couple sentences. It was the perfect maid-of-honor speech. Best of luck with writing yours! Knowing both the bride AND groom so well will make for a great speech, I’m sure! :)

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  8. says

    I have never been a Maid of Honor, but my cousin was for her sister’s wedding. She started her speech by standing up and saying “My dad always taught me that if you don’t have anything nice to say then you don’t say anything at all.” Then she sat down and everyone’s jaw hit the floor. She then stood up again and everyone laughed and then she went on to the heart felt part of her speech! It was one to remember and what everyone was talking and laughing about months after the wedding.

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  9. says

    Haha, I wrote a poem for my best friend’s wedding! I wanted it to be heartfelt, but I’m not really good with putting things like that into words without sounding really cheesy, so I made it purposefully a little goofy. It was laid back, but meaningful and I think they both appreciated it :-)

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  10. says

    I was the Maid of Honor at my best friend’s wedding last year. I think as long as you say something touching about each of them and about them being together and throw in a few funny moments you should be good to go! Don’t over think it or make it too long. Oh, and don’t forget to pick up your glass at the end for the toast! I almost forgot so when I got to that moment I was really awkward as I scrambled to grab my champagne flute (maybe just have it ready in your hand instead of leaving it on the table). I’m sure your speech will be amazing! And if you need some more inspiration, this speech has a really sweet idea behind it:

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  11. Cristin says

    I was the maid of honor at my sister’s wedding and from what I have found, short, but sweet is the best. I talked about how over the years my sister and I didn’t always agree on everything, but one thing we always agreed on was music. I quoted Silly Love Songs by Paul McCartney and talked about how I was so happy that my sister found someone with a heart as big as hers. I think she liked it, she cried, I’m pretty sure they were tears of joy haha.

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  12. Hannah Wilson says

    The fact that you are able to talk about them both as individuals and as a couple is great. It kind of stinks when the best man only talks about the groom and leaves out the bride or when the maid/matron of honor does the same with the bride leaving out the groom. Because you know both of them so well and can speak sincerely about your feelings for both of them I think that you will give an amazing speech that will make their wedding day :)

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  13. says

    Very exciting!

    I’m the maid of honour this summer in my best friend’s wedding (who happens to be marrying one of my brother in laws…crazy!!), and I’ve already been thinking about everything I want to say. I think a good mix of humour and heartfelt thought is essential. We were at a wedding last summer and everyone was super pumped for the best man’s speech, as we thought it would be quite funny, but it ended up being very brief and soooo serious. I think it’s crucial to have lightheartedness and poke a bit of (unembarassing) fun at them. It’s not easy to blend the two, but I think those are the kind of speeches people enjoy and appreciate the most :)

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  14. says

    My sister and her boyfriend have talked about getting engaged. Knowing that I’ll be her maid of honor has already made me consider a speech at the wedding! I think the best advice is always to speak from the heart – you’re a great writer so I’m sure it’ll be fantastic!

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  15. says

    I have never written a speech for a wedding but I am a little timid and can’t imagine doing it! Good luck to you I know how great you are with planning everything for her! You have been such a thoughtful sister.

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  16. Courtney Fisher says

    Last September, my best friend got married and I was her maid of honour. Not only was it my first time being in a wedding party, but it was only the second wedding I had every been to. I felt so lost about what to say in my speech! I was so worried I wouldn’t be funny enough, or that I wouldn’t have enough stories to tell etc. In the end I decided that I would forget about giving a speech to the wedding guests and focus on talking to my friend and her new husband. It took a lot of the pressure off and helped me create a more natural “speech”. In the end, I conveyed the exact sentiment I wanted and even though I blubbered through the entire thing I was so thrilled when numerous people came up to me after and told me how much they enjoyed my speech. For me, that’s the biggest thing to remember. Create a speech that is for the bride (and groom) not for the masses, the words will flow easier then. Good luck!

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  17. says

    I was the maid of honor for my sister’s wedding in 2009 – and it’s a challenge. I think my mistake was that I made the speech all about my sister, instead of my sister and her new husband… but the best man’s speech was mainly about her husband, so it balanced out. But I think it’s special when it’s a sister speech. You’ve known her your whole life. Call back on her embarrassing moments, throw in some touching moments, and most of all just let her know that you are so so happy for her and her new husband, and that this is just the beginning. It’s quite a task, but hopefully knowing that everybody really will be satisfied with whatever you have to say (no, really.) , hopefully that makes you feel at ease.

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  18. says

    Being inclusive is key….a BM I heard not long ago said at least three times “but i’ll talk to BRIDE about that later.” Most boring speech ever!

    Genuineness, a bit of mushy heart stuff about the little sister marrying, one or two anecdotes that can be fully realted and understood. Have someone, maybe a girlfriend who isn’t going to the wedding….helps to see lulls, etc

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  19. says

    The best speeches are those that both come from the heart but also involve the whole crowd on a story. So not using in jokes that only 10 people know about unless you are going to tell the whole story and other people will get it :)

    Sure no matter what you will do great and Ross and Leslie will love it.

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  20. says

    You are going to do an amazing job on your speech. I was the matron of honour for my sister too, and also knew her husband well. I talked about how amazing they were as a couple, and how as the “older sister”, it was my job to worry about my little sister, but I never worry about her with her husband. I also shared a few cute childhood stories that everyone seemed to enjoy :) Good luck!!!

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  21. jillian says

    I speak for a living, and my best advice is to practice, practice, practice. I’d practice in front of Ryan, Sadie, and the mirror so many times that you have it practically memorized — and then you can actually be yourself, and focus on telling the stories — and not remembering the words. Even if you mess up, it’s not a big deal — just speak from the heart, smile, and be yourself. That’s what people like most! You will be GREAT! :)

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  22. Alison Z says

    One of my best friends got married about 18 months ago and her sister gave the most amazing maid of honor speech. The thing that was most special about it was that everyone in the room could feel how much she loved her sister and her new husband. As long as that is evident, and by the amount of work you’ve put in, it surely will be, then people will remember it fondly. Good luck!

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  23. De says

    For one of the weddings I gave a speech at, I actually based it around the song “My Wish” by Rascal Flatts, since it was an important song to them. I listed my wishes and hopes for them as well as incorporated funny stories that showed what the best that they brought out in each other.

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  24. Alexa says

    oh my goodness her wedding is next saturday!! that came up fast. and your double dates must have been so great then, no awkwardness at all!

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  25. Tara says

    Our best man, who was my husband BFF for 20 years, was soo nervous, you felt bad for him. And he is a goof ball, so I was surprised that he was so nervous.
    Then my sister, Matron of Honor, totally showed him up by being witty and direct! She wrote a very funny, cute and personal Irish Limerick about us, that had everyone laughing! I had her write it for me and we had it framed.

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  26. Nic G says

    My sister is my best friend and I was her maid of honor. I wrote a 2 min poem that was funny and touching. At my wedding 3 years later, she did a poem rebuttal, it was amazing.

    I guess the key to any good MOH/Best Man speech is to keep it short and from the heart. 2-3 minutes tops:)

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  27. Laura says

    Try to avoid inside jokes! I went to a friend’s wedding this summer and the bride’s twin was her matron of honor. I expected something great because they’re SO close, but I swear 90% of it revolved around inside jokes. Even their husbands looked bored. Another bad one I heard was where the maid of honor bragged about herself so much (“Stacey and I met in yearbook in high school – I WAS THE EDITOR”). It was so bad that a lot of people were talking about it at the wedding. You don’t seem at all like the type to do that though!

    I feel like for matrons of honor, the speeches are always very heartfelt, and the best men go for the laughs. I am sure with your long history with both the bride and the groom, yours will be great!

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  28. Maressa says

    I was the maid of honor in my sister-in-law’s wedding and knew that they weren’t necessarily lovey-dovey/feelings-type people! I knew that while a touching speech would be nice, they wouldn’t appreciate is as much as something creative. So..knowing that they both love action/superhero movies, I wrote about how their life is like an action movie. The villians being their adorable dogs, the groom saving the damsel in distress, their superpowers being their neurotic organization skills, and their uniforms being their tux/wedding dress!

    The speech was creative and was a huge hit because it spoke to them as a couple!! It sounds like you and your sister are super close, so a heartfelt speech may be more appropriate, but I would go with something that speaks directly to who the couple is together!

    There is nothing worse than when the MOH speech or the best man speech is directed solely at the groom or bride and their friendship for all those years…You want it to be about the couple together!

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  29. Katie says

    You’re in good shape since you know both of them so well. Be sure to speak to both of them, don’t feel pressure to make everyone laugh (that’s the Best Man’s job!) but getting a laugh from everyone will help you relax, keep it somewhat brief (not in a bad way), and watch the use of the word “so”. I’ve heard some speeches that say “so much” “so happy” etc and I feel like it can sort of take away from the speech itself. Good luck! And try not to get choked up!

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  30. Ashley says

    1. Don’t make it too long (less than 4-5 minutes)
    2. Incorporate funny and serious moments with both of them and then how they are with each other
    3. Don’t read from a card if you can help it (looks so much more sincere when it’s coming from your head and heart and not a piece of paper). Just review the speech beforehand and it will flow naturally.

    P.S. random addition to my comment, but I wanted to say thanks for recommending the Almay mascara a long time ago on a blog post. I had also tried the pink and green one (maybelline?) and wasn’t thrilled, but tried the Almay one finally, and it is great! It goes on feeling like a more expensive mascara. Thanks!! :)

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  31. Sara says

    I was at a wedding where the moh was terrified to speak and kept taking the mic then saying “I can’t I can’t.” She finally did and I was so glad because she would’ve
    Regretted it. The best man at our wedding started the speech with “I was told a best man’s speech should never
    Be longer than it takes the groom to make love”. Haha awkward but everyone laughed

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  32. Laura says

    I’ve been MOH twice, and I sort of have an outline for my speeches. First, I talk about how I know the bride and share a special memory or two we have (making it funny if I can) and tell her something I appreciate about her…then I talk about how I met her husband and some memories of them together (also making it funny if I can), I mention why I think they are great for each other, and then I express my wishes for their future and what I’m looking forward to for them. If I can, I tie something into the beginning of the speech. For example, I mentioned that my best friend and I would daydream about our husbands – she wanted someone tall, dark, and handsome – and then I said cheers to my Best Friend and her Tall, Dark, and Handsome. :)

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  33. says

    Some tips from having gone through it myself and witnessing many good and bad ones:

    1. Don’t try too hard to be funny.
    2. Avoid inside jokes.
    3. Keep it under 5 minutes.
    4. Relax and have fun with it! People will laugh with you, cry with you, and be joyous with you.

    I’m sure you’ll do great!

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  34. says

    Ive seen a very funny best man speech, the poor guy went on way too long. The new wife had to get him to stop, the video ran out and guests had to use the bathroom mid speech. Keep it short and sweet, its their day after all.

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