Grandparents often give the best advice! Today I’m sharing four pieces of advice we received from Chase’s grandparents – my parents and in-laws – in honor of Grandparents Day, coming up this year on Sunday, September 11. I’m teaming up with Hallmark for this post and would love to hear about any words of wisdom you’ve heard from the grandparents or great-grandparents in your life!
After Chase was born, I found myself on the receiving end of more advice than I could handle. Everyone has thoughts, opinions and words of wisdom to share when it comes to transitioning into life with a newborn and raising a child. Without a doubt, the piece of advice I heard most frequently centered around cherishing the time with your little one because it passes by in a flash.
It’s a piece of advice I truly took to heart and one I think about every single day. When I look back on pictures of Chase when he was a month old I am shocked by how small he was and how sweet and cuddly our baby was when he was a newborn.
Now that we have an energetic toddler on our hands, it’s hard for me to believe the baby phase is over!
Having Chase has made me feel more present than I ever have in my entire life. Watching the world through his eyes brings me so much joy and I feel like there are moments in every day that make me want to push pause and stop time in its tracks.
Of course some of the advice I received after having Chase was advice I took with a grain of salt while other words of wisdom truly stuck with me and shape the way I approach raising our baby boy. Four pieces of advice I received that I think about on a regular basis came from Chase’s grandparents – my mom, dad, mother-in-law and father-in-law.
With Grandparents Day on the horizon next month, I am teaming up with Hallmark today to celebrate grandparents and share some of the best advice I received from Chase’s grandparents below!
Advice from Grandparents
- From My Mom:
“When you find yourself doubting your mothering skills and worrying about your baby, think about how you would feel if you didn’t have other mothers and other babies to compare yourself and your baby to… How would you feel then?”
My mom is a nurse and is often my sounding board whenever I find myself worrying about Chase, my mothering skills and anything else related to raising a happy and healthy child. Whenever I feel insecurities arise related to Chase or my mothering abilities, I think about this piece of advice from my mom.
Though I already know and believe that comparison is the thief of joy, it’s hard not to look at other mothers and think they know everything and they’re doing everything right while I am over here taking my best guess and hoping everything turns out well. Remembering my mom’s advice helps me take a step back from everything and look at Chase from a different point of view.
If I had no growth charts, no walking 10-month-olds and no incredible eaters to compare my little guy to, how would I think he was doing? Fabulous. He’s energetic, happy, animated and so incredibly active. I know in my heart he’s doing so well but sometimes I need to take a deep breath and remind myself that there are no perfect mothers out there but there are a heck of a lot of really good ones.
When I start to compare Chase and myself to others, it never makes me feel better, so remembering to focus on my baby and being the best mother I can be is most important.
- From My Dad:
“It’s hard being a baby.”
My dad said this simple sentence when Chase was only a couple weeks old and it stuck with me. How hard must it be to not be able to express in words exactly what you want? How hard must it be to not be able to get exactly where you want to go without stumbling or falling? How hard must if be for you to rely on everyone else for every little thing?
This simple statement from my dad shifted my perspective and helps me practice patience toward my son. Of course I still get frustrated, but when I stop to think about things from Chase’s perspective, it’s helpful and makes me realize he is just doing his best to communicate, learn and grow in the best way he knows how. Sometimes that involves tears and screams but I just try to give him love, support and patience and remember it’s hard for him, too.
I was reminded of my dad’s statement again last April when this article began popping up all over the internet. It’s definitely worth a read if you’re finding yourself frustrated with the little one(s) your life: It’s Hard For Them, Too
- From My Mother-in-Law:
“Always be honest, truthful, consistent, loving, respectful and fair. Live by example and listen to everything he says. Be available and make learning fun. Love your family, celebrate big and little wins and cherish each day.”
When I think about the way Ryan talks about his mother, one thing that always sticks out to me is the way he describes her mothering style when he was younger. She has such a vivid sense of imagination and her advice to “make learning fun” is clearly a piece of advice she took to heart when raising Ryan. It’s something I hope to do for Chase and even though he’s only one, I do my best to teach him things and show him new things in a way that’s entertaining to a toddler.
We sing lots of songs, dance, make silly noises, raise our hands all over the place and explore the world around us every day. I’m truly shocked on a regular basis by how much Chase observes and already knows from some of our repetitive musings.
When Ryan and I got married, Diane once said “if you can communicate about everything, you can work your way through anything.” Communication is such a pivotal part of my relationship with Ryan and is something I hope flourishes within our family as Chase gets older. I know he won’t want to share everything with me but it is my hope that he will know he can always come to me for support, love and comfort.
- From My Father-in-Law:
“Make every day an adventure.”
My father-in-law loves the outdoors and it’s something he definitely instilled in Ryan. Thankfully being outside and exploring new things is something Ryan and I both love to do and it’s something that we love to experience with Chase as well.
Right now Greg’s advice to “make every day an adventure” is something I think about all the time because I see Chase respond and thrive to the time we spend away from the home. Even if our “adventure” of the day is grocery shopping or hanging out with friends for a pool play date, these small experiences seem to truly stimulate Chase!
I think joy is contagious and I really try my best to bring enthusiasm and excitement to the table for Chase every day. We practice waving at new friends and clapping when we’re at the grocery store. When we’re on a walk with Sadie, we’ll often stop so Chase can touch leaves or crawl in the grass. “Adventure” at this stage in Chase’s life isn’t anything wild and crazy but I think that’s sort of the point of Greg’s advice. Find adventure and excitement in the small things every day.
Celebrating Grandparents Day
Two days ago, Chase and I popped into Walgreen’s to pick up Hallmark cards for the grandparents in his life from the highlighted Grandparents Day section. I feel very fortunate because we will actually be celebrating Grandparents Day with Ryan’s mom and grandma – Chase’s grandma and great grandma – in Sarasota this year!
It already feels like a treat knowing we’ll be able to hug them and give them their cards in person in less than two weeks! There’s something so special about seeing Chase with his grandparents and his great grandmother. Knowing how much they love and adore him and want the very best for him means so much to me.
Even though we live 6 hours from my parents and 11 hours from Ryan’s family, Face Time, texts, pictures and cards keep us connected and I’m so grateful to have family in our life who love our little boy so completely.
Happy (almost) Grandparents Day to the grandparents in our life and all the wonderful grandparents out there!
Question of the Day
- What is one of the best pieces of advice you’ve heard from a grandparent or great-grandparent?
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From my mom when i had my children. How do i do this mom? I asked her. She replied, “it’s simple, just love and protect your children always and everything else will fall into place.” After 27 years of parenting and sending my youngest to college last week…she’s never been so right. I am thankful to have two healthy boys that continue to make me proud and happy.
I love that! Wise words for sure!
Love this post Julie! Grandparents are such blessings, aren’t they?
My mom has always modeled sacrifice. She homeschooled me and my siblings all the way from Preschool through highschool and I know that it wasn’t easy. As much as she enjoyed homeschooling me, I know she made plenty of sacrifices in order to fulfill her desire to homeschool me and my siblings.
Not only that, but my mom is the first one to bend over backwards for me, go out of her way if it helps her family, stay up late talking about my dreams/hopes/ fears, and always willing to take the job that no one else wants.
As I am now on the verge of becoming a mom, (any day now!) I am so thankful for her example that she continues to model for me. If I can be at least a little like my mom, I will be content.
So excited for you, Bethany!! And your mom sounds like such a blessing. <3
“Don’t insult fine liquor with plastic. Pour that in a glass!”
Of course we all got a good chuckle when Granny blurted that out one Christmas Eve when us grandkids were mixing drinks, but her comical statement demonstrates her belief that life is meant to be enjoyed to the fullest. She is always doing that little “extra” to savor every moment, even the simplest of pleasures, and she instills that in her family.
LOL!!!
“This too shall pass”
My grandmother passed away last summer and these wise words continue to be frequently quoted by the rest of our family. It’s a phrase I find myself repeating when facing a challenge or am in a rough spot, and a reminder that we can make it through anything we put our minds to!
I LOVE these nuggets of wisdom, thank you so much for sharing. Along the lines of the way your dad’s advice comes to you when you find yourself frustrated, I think of the lines from twentyone pilots’, “Stressed Out”: “Wish we could turn back time/to the good old days/when mama sang us to sleep/but now we’re stressed out.”
It reminds me that these are the good old days right now, for both of us. Right now is the only time my little bud can just be a baby and know that mom’s going to (try!) to take care of his needs for him. Right now is the only time I can still hold my baby in one arm, that there will come a day that he doesn’t want to just be held. It melts my heart, especially during those middle of the night stretches when he just refuses to back to sleep and I can barely stay on my feet.
I’ve gotten some amazing advice from my mom and my mother-in-law. One paused her career to raise kiddos and the other was a single mama, and I am blessed to learn from them both–constantly!
Love that! I read a quote somewhere that said “one day you’ll put them down and never pick them back up again” which obviously turned me into a sobbing mess but also reminded me to cherish this time right now when my baby needs me more than ever.
I’m 16 weeks pregnant and this post definitely made me tear up! So glad that our little one will have our parents for grandparents!
This is so sweet! I don’t have kids yet, but I will say I didn’t walk until I was almost 22 months old. My mom wasn’t too concerned and knew it would happen when I was ready. I ran a marathon at age 25 and grew up dancing and performing. Definitely don’t worry about it yet and my mom always told me how she wasn’t worried about what other babies were doing.
http://www.kaylainthecity.com
Hi Julie! What a warm, heart felt post! Makes me miss my Grandparents very much. I lost them when I was very young. Hopefully, my parents will be around much longer.
This post is adorable. I love that all of the advice you remember is based on moments, rather than “get (x) brand of diapers.” The comments shared are pieces that all of us, even those of us without children, can apply to our lives.
Adore seeing the pictures of Chase with his grandparents. There’s so much love in their eyes. 🙂
XO, Jessica
http://www.semisweettooth.com
This is such a sweet post! I love it! My 1 years old is so blessed to have Grandparents that watch her while I work. I always try to show how much that means to me because I know there are others who aren’t that fortunate. Grandparents are the best!
This is so sweet and such a good post idea! My favorite was your dad’s advice: “It’s hard being a baby.” Lord knows my parents hope to be grandparents soon… Oof!
I have a six month old who is an extremely poor sleeper and was getting SO confused from all the mixed messages about sleep training and don’t do this and don’t do that .. I was so lost and felt everything I was doing was wrong. Then my Dad asked me:
“if you had no books, no internet, and no one to get advice from … what would you be doing? And I said without hesitation “having her sleep with me in bed” and he said “okay …. then do it!”
Basically doing what FEELS right in my gut, rather than getting confused by outside opinions. My Dad’s statement above made me realize right now, co-sleeping is the best answer for our family. It’s what feels right in my gut and what I’d do without a second thought if I didn’t have any outside advice to think about! I now try to apply that advice to all aspects of child rearing.
I really enjoyed this post! My husband and I don’t have kids yet but I grew up living in the same town as my grandparents and wouldn’t change that for the world! My brother and I were always so close to them. I’ve been following your blog for a few years and actually just started working at Hallmark on Monday. If possible, I would love to meet the person who you collaborated with to be able to start getting to know people around the organization. It’s such a huge company and I would really like to get to know folks outside of my department. I would really appreciate it if this would be possible! 🙂
Yay Kansas City ! 🙂
I’ve never been a picky eater, but when I was little there were things that I liked less than others. We also had the rule that I had to eat some of everything on my plate, so I’d usually struggle to eat my broccoli or whatever after I’d fill up on the good stuff. My grandma told me “You should take care of the stuff you don’t like first, then you’re free to enjoy the rest of it.”
I know she just meant my vegetables, but as I got older I applied it to my whole life. In school, I would get off the bus and do my homework first thing. In college, I put my least favorite classes at the beginning of my day. I do my workouts in the morning so I can’t talk myself out of them. Probably the best advice I’ve ever gotten, and she didn’t even do it intentionally.
That is such a sweet post. Made me think of my adorable grandma who is always there to give me advice when I don’t know what to do or how to make a tricky decision. 🙂
What a beautiful post, Julie! I love the advice you shared and will definitely think about it and apply it to raising my little 14.5 month old.
This made me tear up, especially your mom’s advice. It’s so, so hard not to compare baby milestones, even when you know your baby is doing great. I have a 9 month old daughter, and the best piece of advice I’ve heard, which my mom told me one day when my daughter was brand new and I was worried about something or another, is “You are the expert in your baby.” It has helped me countless times, when I get conflicting advice, or worry about meeting a milestone, or disagree with a suggestion from a pediatrician or caregiver. I remember that all those people giving me advice are well-meaning, but at the end of the day, I (and my husband!) know our daughter best, and we have to trust ourselves to make the decision that’s right for our family.
I’ve loved following your sweet adventures with Chase, and since he’s a few months ahead of my little girl, it’s always fun to read his updates– they feel like a sneak preview!
I don’t have any children of my own, but I have a special relationship with each of my grandparents, as I am their first-born grandchild.
My Pop-Pop John taught me to drive when I was 17. When I passed my driving test and I got my license, he said to me, “Always keep a dollar in your pocket and you’ll never be broke.” And he gave me a dollar. I still keep that single dollar folded in my wallet and think of him each time I see it. I just pulled it out the other day, actually, and noticed the year marked 1999, lol.
Now that I’m a mom I really appreciate this post. Thanks so much for linking to the post, It’s Hard For Them, Too. My 8-month old is currently boycotting naps, and I find myself being frustrated and impatient with him more than I’d like to admit. That article made me cry and was a good reminder that my little guy is probably just as frustrated with me, if not more…ha! And he can’t even have a glass of wine to help take the edge off like mama does 😉
Cora didn’t walk till about 15-16 months old! 🙂 Chase is doing JUST fine 🙂
‘Everything else can wait’ …. My Dad
My Dad told me when I was feeling overwhelmed when my daughter was 3 months old. Dishes can wait, housework can wait, shower can wait, getting back in shape (eek!) can wait. Everything else can wait while you cherish and nurture this babe.
Super cute! My maternal grandparents co-raised me, it reminds me what a blessing it was to have them!
Cute post! The best advise I got was from my mother in law who tells me to “follow your gut and you’ll know what to do” it’s been right so far! Unsolicited advise is always super annoying. I was telling my mom the other day – we live in a society where we share a lot of information – which can be a great thing. It’s great to know that a kid sleeping through the night doesn’t happen for some and is a real struggle. On the other hand there are a lot of “experts ” out there that can flat out make you question your parenting skills and make you feel like a failure. I’ve been thinking along what your mom told you – if you don’t compare yourself or your child to other people how would you feel?? the comparison trap is a bad place to be – I’m still there sometimes! And also – my third baby is going to be 6 months old tomorrow and I thought I’d feel like an expert by now. I still feel like I’m guessing and hoping everything turns out okay 😉
Grandparents are so special. My great-grandmother passed last year, and I miss her terribly. The best piece of advice she ever gave me was to simply follow my heart and passion. I think of her with every decision I make!
-> http://www.poweredbysass.com
Just wanted to say that I really like the way you present sponsored content. On some blogs it can feel forced, or like a straight up TV advertisement, but this is a post I would have enjoyed regardless. Now I kind of want to send my mom a card and thank her for all her excellent advice!
Thank you, Danielle!! I really, really appreciate this! <3
Love the advice of your dad….Never really thought about how hard it would be for little babies to be so unexpressive. And love your article. I’ve always received my best advice from my grandpa. It seems like they always know it right 🙂 Enjoy these lovely moments with Chris.
I’m extremely close to my paternal grandparents and I feel lucky to have spent so much one-on-one time with them. They always emphasize maintaining the relationships that fill me up. They are two of the most social people I know, making new friends all the time, but are also still close to friends from their small town high school. Every time I see them, they ask about a small list of my friends and reiterate how nice it is that I have those relationships.
Great advice!
Your mother-in-law looks like Martha Stewart!
I was going to comment that too!! haha 😀 she really does!
Hmm, sadly I can recall any really good advice. The advice I would like to offer to all us “adults” is to SEND THAT CARD! I had bought a Valentines card for my grandparents a few years ago and forgot to send it. Through the ending of my relationship with my mother, my relationship with my grandparents went by the wayside. The next year, I was informed that my grandmother had passed. I still have that card. I see it monthly when I sort through my card stack to send for birthdays etc. It may seem like just a card for but it does make a difference, to you, to them, to someone. Sorry to be a “wah wah” but this one hit home. Grandparents are so wonderful to have in our lives and I wish I would have told mine more. xoxo
And I’m over here bawling. Motherhood is so hard, and every time I hear someone else’s kid is sleeping when I’m up at 3 am for the 3rd time of the night, I get so frustrated (and then so mad at myself for being frustrated with this tiny human who can’t help but need me).
The best piece of advice I’ve gotten is from my mother. “There’s a reason there are 3 years between you and your sister.”
I get in my head about wanting my son to have a sibling, and think about how hard it will be do to all this with another one, and I forget that he’s only 9 months and I don’t have to do anything about that right now. I have to remind myself that even though not everyone admits it, it’s hard for everyone, and to take things as they come.
Great post! I was just visiting my grandma last weekend and we talked about how different things are than when she married my grandpa. So much wisdom.
Such a sweet post! Can’t wait to welcome our first baby in a few months!
Love this! Our pediatrician tell me the two things not to do is compare my child or help them with everything. I understand that comparing is hard not to do. Our LO has been staying around the 10%-20% on weight and he is 5 months. I exclusively bf and people talk like he is not getting enough or needs grains. We have chosen not to add them and get a lot of advice about it. He is such a strong guy….rolling over both ways and standing alone while holding something. The comparison will get it. Follow your momma heart! You are doing great!