Earlier this week we learned that Sadie has hemangiosarcoma, an aggressive form of cancer, and typing up these words leaves me in tears because I hate thinking that something is going on in our girl’s body that we cannot cure and help her fight. To be honest, I’ve been a bit of a mess. (I wrote and scheduled the blog posts I shared this week before Sadie’s vet appointment and since we received this news I haven’t been able to write or think about much else.) Sharing this news with all of you makes the whole situation feel permanent and understanding that we are approaching the end of Sadie’s life doesn’t feel real. It doesn’t feel okay. It feels like intense pressure on my chest, tears in my eyes and the very best dog wrapped up in my arms. A dog I don’t ever want to leave me.
We were hoping and praying Sadie’s ultrasound would reveal an infection we could treat that would explain her weight loss. With no symptoms other than decreased appetite and weight loss currently presenting (other than typical 13-year-old dog things), our vet was hopeful and so were we. When the results came back and our vet told me Sadie has cancer, I held her in my arms, stroked her soft fur and asked a million questions with tears streaming down my face.
Is there something we could’ve done? Could we have found this sooner? What do we do now? Our vet explained that this type of cancer is extremely aggressive and often not found until it has progressed to the point where palliative care is the only recommended option for older dogs. When our vet began discussing the end of Sadie’s life, I was overwhelmed. She’s not ready to go. Not yet. I know she’s not. She’s happy and still acting so much like herself. Our vet agreed. It’s not her time. Not yet.
She still has more nighttime cuddles to give when she presses her warm body against my belly under the sheets.
She still has more walks to go on with the boys when she stops to sniff everything from bushes to the air.
She still has more spoonfuls of peanut butter to lick and chicken scraps to eat as I prep dinner and she stays glued to my leg.
She still has a boat ride she needs to go on where she keeps us safe as Captain Sadie at the bow of the boat.
She still needs to lie down and place her head on my neck a hundred more times, Sadie scarf style.
She still has so much more love from us to receive and we need to make sure she knows deep within her bones that our love will be with her always, always, always.
When I left the vet with Sadie trotting beside me and her medications in my bag, I felt heavy and heartbroken. Sadie has been a constant source of love, comfort, craziness, humor and everything good wrapped up in a wiggly little body for 13-and-a-half years.
I know it’s not Sadie’s time to go yet. I hate thinking that her time is coming. Our vet said it could be days, a week, a month. She doesn’t know. We don’t know. If it’s her time, I hope and pray she will let us know. This is not a decision Ryan nor I feel at all prepared to make.
Right now I’m trying to keep my focus on Sadie. For the first couple of days after we learned about her cancer, I felt like I was almost grieving her before she was even gone. That’s not how I want to spend this precious time with our girl. I want to enjoy her. To love her. To cherish every amazing thing about her. I think Sadie thought I was insane at one point this week because I couldn’t stop following her around, stroking her sweet face and wrapping her up in cuddles every chance I could.
She’s not ready. We’re not ready. And we’re going to make sure that until she is ready, her days are filled with more love than she can imagine and all of her very favorite things because she is and always will be the very best girl.
![\"Quantcast\"/](\"//pixel.quantserve.com/pixel/p-1e3-7hOJ_U8Bg.gif\")
I am so, so sorry to hear this Julie. It’s always been evident that before and after kids Sadie has been a beloved member of your family. 💗
We have a sweet 12 year old GSP and Sadie always reminded me of her. We received a cancer diagnosis for her on Monday and it absolutely doesn’t feel like it can be real. You were able to put into words so much of what we’re feeling. Praying for peace and comfort for you all.
Truly truly heart broken for all of you. Sending lots of love and light.
I have never left a comment before, but I read this and felt I had too. But I am left without words. I am heart broken for you and your family. The love that you have for Sadie is shown in your posts and pictures. My prayers are with you.
So sorry to hear about Sadie. I unfortunately received the same exact news regarding my 11 year old yorkie Tuesday. A small wart had appeared on her neck and has spread to her lymph nodes underneath. I would have never expected to receive her diagnosis of hemangiosarcoma. Dogs truly are family, and I hope Sadie the best.
Julie, I am sending you all of my hugs, love, and prayers. I am so sorry that you are facing this.
I am so very sorry. I’ve been down this road and it is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Enjoy and treasure the time you have left with her. And when it’s time, you’ll know. It sucks and it’s hard and you’ll cry and cry. But know she had a wonderful life.
I am so sorry to read this and I gave following you since Sadie was a puppy. My prayers are with you I just went through this a few months ago with our pup ans your never ready. But just give her lots of loves like your already doing. ❤️
I’m so sorry to hear this. I know how hard it is and I just send hugs to your whole family and Sadie.
Sending you all so much love. Dogs are just the best thing in the world and my heart is breaking for you.
I’m absolutely heartbroken for you as I read this post…ive followed you for so long and seeing Sadie in your posts is truly one of my favorite parts of your blog! Prayers and hugs to you and your sweet girl…she knows how loved she is and I hope you get so much more time with her. 💜💜💜
I was so worried something like this was going to be the case when you mentioned that Sadie was losing weight. I’m a vet and hemangiosarcoma is one of the worst diagnoses to have to give to a family. I have been reading your blog since the early days and have loved following along with Sadie’s antics, especially her annual birthday challenge! She has lived such a wonderful life with you, Ryan, and your boys. One of the oncologists I worked with in vet school would tell her clients that this is the time that their dogs get to eat steak and ice cream. Spoil the heck out of that sweet, sweet girl <3
thank you for the work you do in caring for so many beloved pets. our vet said something similar — give her any and all of the food she wants. she’s had burgers, hot dogs and steak this week. <3
I am so, so sorry. Between Sadie and Taylor Wolfe’s Harlow, I am crying a lot this week over dogs I’ve never met. It’s been obvious over the years how much your family loves Sadie. She will know how loved she is when it’s her time to go. I pray you and Ryan don’t have to make that decision but if you do, I’ve heard amazing things about Laps of Love (here in Charlotte).
Spend this time cherishing your girl. Mine passed away very unexpectedly at the vet and I would’ve given anything to have her home during her final days. I hope you have more time left with Sadie than you think! Lots of love.
one of my good friends just told me about laps of love. i will absolutely be looking into this. thank you for sharing as well.
Laps of Love is who we turned to when Mason needed to be at peace. The doctor came out to our home and showed the utmost care and compassion. He was a shy cat when he didn’t know you, and he lit up and went right to her. In our hearts, we knew he was already at peace with having to say goodbye (for now). Again, I am so incredibly sorry for this devastating news. But Sadie has the best parents, brothers, and family in you all!
I am so sorry to hear about Sadie. I have been following your blog since the beginning and I remember little puppy Sadie, and how she was the start of your perfect little family with Ryan. This feels like the end of an era. Truly heartbroken. Sending love and prayers your way, and I’m so sorry for the news.
Sending lots of hugs to you and your family, and sweet Sadie girl. Enjoy the heck out of the time you have left with her. Highly recommend getting family photos taken with her – we did that with our sweet girl, and I’m so glad we did. I absolutely treasure them.
I’m so sorry to hear the news about sweet Sadie. The great thing is- she doesn’t know she’s sick. She has no clue. So unlike us, she gets the gift of living every day to the fullest without ever feeling sad. I have no doubt you guys will continue on your adventures and keep giving her all of your love until you know it’s time. Thinking of you.
Julie, you are all in my thoughts. Sending big hugs to you and Sadie
Crying reading your post. Long time reader so Sadie feels like a part of my family, too. I am so, so sorry and sending so many hugs and lots of love to you all. My heart is just heavy reading the post. Sadie is so lucky to have you as her family. ❤️
I’m sending a big hug to you, Sadie, and the rest of your family. It is so hard to say goodbye to a dog. She’s clearly been loved every day of her life with you and I’m sure she feels that with certainty.
❤️ Sadie and sending all the hugs to you and your family.
I am terribly sorry, it is so difficult to say goodbye to them! It is the one last show of unconditional love we can give them after a lifetime of them loving us conditionally.
Both of my dogs died of cancer and the decline was rapid, within a matter of 8 hours it became clear to us it was time. I wish the same clarity for you it is her time!
Oh Julie, this breaks my heart! I’ve followed you for so long and I know your love for Sadie is so big! We suddenly lost our cat, Gracey at the beginning of the year so I hate that I know what you are feeling. If there’s a bright side, you get to prioritize all of her favorite things so your time together is as special as can be. Lots of hugs to Sadie and your entire family!
tears streaming down my face as i read this. sending you love and comfort. enjoy the rest, sweet sadie. you’re the best girl <3<3<3
Im so sorry, and so incredibly sad to hear this. Sadie is the most amazing pup! She is so lucky to have you and your family – what an incredible life youve given her. Through your blog so many fell in love with Sadie girl and I hope you feel all our love and hugs during this time.
I’m so so sorry to hear this news and am praying for you all as you love and enjoy her in this time 💕 I started following you when I was researching Vizsla puppies for myself and have loved seeing her in blog posts throughout the years.
Julie, I’m devastated to learn this news. Sadie has been such a constant in your blog that I feel like I know her. I can picture her wrapped up in the blankets all cuddled up. I know you’ll continue to love your girl well. Prayers for you and your family and sweet Sadie girl.
I messaged you already on Instagram Julie but please know all the love in the world is surrounding you and sweet Sadie. There is so much in my heart I would like to say, but the words just seem so deep they hardly can come out as actual WORDS here. You are loved and Sadie is loved. I know this is one of the hardest times in your life, for you and your entire family. Surround yourself right now with all of your family and mostly cuddling and loving and spoiling sweet Sadie girl.
I too just received news the my sweet hardy 14 year old Maggie girl (mini schnauzer) has an aggressive oral cancer. It is truly breaking my heart that she has weeks to live. I feel for you all! I know Maggie had the best life and she will cross the rainbow bridge to be with my momma and they will always be near.
pups just don’t live long enough…
i hate that we have this journey in common right now. sending you and your sweet maggie tons of love and the best doggie snuggles.
Sitting here in tears. I understand this pain and it is excruciating. We lost our sweet Kelly under similar circumstances in 2013 and the pain of her loss can still bring me to tears. Our pets are such a huge part of our lives and losing them is like losing a close family member. They take a huge part of our heart with them when they go. But, I don’t believe God would give us an animal to be our best friend and not have a place for them in heaven. That gives me peace and hope that I will see all of my furry babies again some day. Sending hugs and prayers to you and your family. I am so sorry.
I’m so sorry you completely understand this feeling — it really is so heartbreaking. I loved your thoughts about God giving them a place in heaven — I have to believe this is true as well because the thought of losing Sadie and never getting to see her again is just crushing.
I have followed you for years and have loved watching sweet Sadie grow up! Those fur babies sure have a way of stealing our hearts! You are in my prayers.
Oh my word, I am so sorry. Sadie is such a good girl, and your love for her is so obvious. She knows how cherished she is, and you have given her such a good life. Sending you hugs and peace in your remaining time with her.
Julie I’m so sorry for what you are going through and you and your family are in my thoughts. I have followed for several years and have enjoyed reading about Sadie in your posts. Sadie surely feels the love from her family and I hope it brings you some small comfort in knowing that you have done everything you can to give her a great life. Sending hugs to you all.
This is heartbreaking! I’m so sorry. We dealt with this last July with our first “baby.” We knew it was time when he no longer seemed to enjoy his normal activities. His breathing also became extremely labored. Praying that you’ll have divine comfort and that you’ll know when it’s time.
Long time reader but I’ve never commented before…I’m so sorry to hear about Sadie. It’s sooo hard to lose a pet. The only thing I can say is that she will let you know. I never knew until we lost our first girl Molly 2 years ago…but one morning she just looked at me and I knew it was time. You’ll know in your heart. Sending hugs and prayers!
Julie, I’m So very sorry! May I just say that throughout the years of reading your blog, I’ve always been so impressed at what an exceptional dog mom you are to Sadie. You give her so much time, love, attention, exercise, EVEN WHEN you’re so busy with your 3 human babies. I can’t think of another dog who has a better life than Sadie. Please feel SO GOOD about your time with her. When the time comes for her to pass onto her next phase of being, you might be able to have the vet come to your house so that she can pass in a place that’s more familiar and comfortable for her. (We did this with my dog years ago.) I’m sending love and positivity your way.
Hi Julie,sending you a big warm hug and after losing my own dog I know the pain and sadness you are feeling right now.I love all the pictures of Sadie and look forward to the stories you tell of the adventures that Sadie has with you and your family.It is so hard when our fur babies get sick and you know they are not going to be around for much longer.You gave her a wonderful life and are making her as comfortable as possible.I’m so sorry and I’m in tears as I write this because Sadie is the sweetest dog and I know how much she is loved.
Im so sorry to hear this. I hope you get lots of extra time with your girl. As someone that has gone through this twice. You will know when it is time. Having the vet come to our house both times was a huge blessing for my husband and myself and later with our family. Thinking of you.
I am so very sorry, my heart is heavy reading your post. I’ll be sending prayers and love to your family❤️❤️
I have been a follower of your blog for a while but have never commented, your post on Sadie however has me sitting here with tears streaming down my face and I just felt the need to write. Our beloved lab-retriever, Toby was in our family for 13 years. My husband and I got him after the youngest of our 3 sons was born, so we always referred to him as our 4th son!
Memories flood back of him pulling the boys on a sled, going down the slide with them at the park, having to lock him out of the bathroom so he wouldn’t jump into the bathtub with them (he loved water!) and just basically following them everywhere they went…I truly believe he thought he was another brother! My heart breaks for you as I know the pain you are enduring, be strong and take comfort in remembering what a wonderful life Sadie had. As a retired librarian may I recommend, Dog Heaven by Cynthia Rylant for your children (when the time comes). God bless.
I’m so incredibly sorry! I actually just put down my puppy (13 year old Cairn terrier) this morning. His name was Gus and I completely understand how you are feeling – enjoy those last moments because unfortunately I did not get those 🙁 As a reader, I know that Sadie was a lucky girl who has led a great life.
Oh Julie I am so sorry. Sadie is just sweetest pup. The life of a beloved pet is so cherished and the idea of losing them is unthinkable. This week marks one year since we lost our sweet kitty girl very suddenly to a neurological issue. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and I hope the time you do have with your pup is the best!
The only positive thing I can think is that Auntie Jean and Uncle Mac will be waiting to welcome Sadie into heaven… sending our love to you all! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I am so sorry Julie. I will be thinking of you guys as you cherish this time. We recently lost our dog of 15 years and the grief was unlike anything I could have imagined. My heart goes out to you but take comfort in knowing Sadie has had the most wonderful life with you and your family. You have provided her with everything and let those happy memories take hold during the difficult days.
I’m so very sorry to hear this news, Julie. Sending you all love and strength.
I understand. Our sweet 10 year old golden had hemangiosarcoma, too. He stopped eating one day, wax diagnosed the next day, and then we had to put him down as he was in pain. We never get enough time with our dogs but the pain is worth it for the years of love they give us. Will be praying for you and Sadie!❤️❤️
I’m also a long-time follower, but rarely comment-but this post just has me in tears for you all. I’m so so sorry to hear this news-news you are NEVER prepared for. We lost our 13-year old yellow lab, Jade, to hemangiosarcoma on July 6, 2019-she was our first “baby” and truly, honestly part of the family-just as Sadie is to yours. We also didn’t even know she had this cancer ravaging her body until she collapsed and when we rushed her to the emergency vet, we got the hemangiosarcoma diagnosis. We had to say goodbye to her that same day and that remains one of the hardest days of my life. Hemangiosarcoma just sucks.
I’m so glad you still have some time with Sadie girl to give her ALL the love and cuddles. I find comfort knowing Jade is at the rainbow bridge waiting for me-and I truly believe Sadie will be there for you, too. We also have Shutterfly books we created for the kids, ornaments at Christmas time, and regularly talk about Jade, so she still lives on in our conversations, memories, and pictures. Sending you all so many hugs during this incredibly difficult time.
I have gone through the loss of many dogs and it is never easy. The time leading up to it is honestly the worst part though. When they cross the rainbow bridge, I hope you will find the peace that I have always experienced. Knowing Sadie is without pain, had a long and wonderful life, and you will be seeing her again.
I’m so sorry, Julie Losing a pet is one of the worst things in life – it’s just so unfair that we can’t keep them for longer. 🙁 You are absolutely right that you need to cherish the time you have left with her and make her as happy and comfortable as possible. I hope you will get some good quality time. I know you definitely don’t want to think about this right now, but when you do, I wholeheartedly recommend finding a vet or service to do home euthanasia. A few years ago I came home from a 2 week trip and my cat was covered in lumps. He had cancer I didn’t know about that quickly spread to his skin and just exploded while I had been away. I got home from the trip on Saturday and had to put him down the following Wednesday. I’m sure you can imagine how painful and shocking it was for that to happen so suddenly – and really, the only thing that comforted me was that we were able to say goodbye to him in our home, lying on his favorite towel, where he felt safe and comfortable. Almost 3 years after my kitty died, I still miss him but feel better, and I’m happy to have another cat to love and snuggle with every day. It will be a tough road ahead, but knowing that you gave her a happy life will comfort you.
I am SO sorry! This is one of the hardest things to go through. My family just went through this recently, and it just hurts my heart. Sending you and your family so much love.
Julie, I am crying right now reading this. Sadie has been such a joy and have loved seeing her daily! I have been reading since you were in Orlando and got my dog right after you got Sadie. We lost our boxer mix last year and I hate knowing how much pain you are in right now. We learned the morning of putting my dog down something burst and she had internal bleeding. That was the hardest decision, but just so thankful of the time we had with her and knowing she had the best life. It shows what a great life Sadie has had and I hope your family enjoys every last day with her!
If I had the choice, I would have used laps of love as well. My sister has had to twice and only had the most amazing experience given the situation.
I am so sorry to hear about Sadies health. I have fallen in love with Viszlas as a result of being a long time blog reader. I know how happy Sadie is to be part of such a wonderful family . I pray you guys continues to enjoy your days with her, and that she remains comfortable