This morning we arrived at the gym and headed straight to the treadmills where I did 15 minutes of incline walking (8.0 incline at a 4.0 pace) with 5 minutes of running thrown into the mix about halfway through for a total of 20 minutes.
After that it was on to BodyPump! The class actually started a little late today because the instructor threw up. 🙁 Apparently she took a sleeping pill last night and thinks that it totally messed with her stomach. Fortunately she felt much better after she threw up and still wanted to teach the class. What a trooper!
Post ‘Pump, I took Sadie on a 20-minute walk before heading home for breakfast.
Breakfast
Today’s breakfast was served in my winning Tupperware!
Yogurt Bowl
In the mix:
- Fage Greek yogurt
- Chia seeds
- Three different flavors of Gerber Graduate puffs (apple cinnamon, banana and sweet potato)
Stars of the Show
The Spread
I was totally feelin’ the crunchiness from the chia seeds and cereal in my yogurt bowl. Yum!
What Do You Call Your In-Laws?
Now for our interesting conversation from last night…
As you know, after work yesterday Ryan and I enjoyed dinner with my dad and one of his colleagues, Rom. About halfway through the dinner, Rom stopped conversation, turned to Ryan and said, “I have to ask you something. When did you feel comfortable calling Julie’s dad by his first name?”
He posed this question because he’s been married for more than four years and still feels funny addressing his in-laws. He made us all laugh when he said he usually just calls them “Hey!” or “Hi!”
Ryan and I thought it was really interesting because we both agreed that it’s totally awkward trying to figure out how to properly address your boyfriend or girlfriend or husband or wife’s parents.
Do you use their first name? Is that too casual? Does that lack respect?
Do you call them Mr. or Mrs. So-and-So? Is that too formal? Is that too stuffy?
Once you’re married, do you call them Mom or Dad? Is that just plain weird? Or does that feel right?
Both Ryan and I address our in-laws by their first names, but I’ll be 100 percent honest when I say that I still feel kind of awkward doing so! I was raised by my parents to always call adults Mr. and Mrs. So-and-So, and it’s hard for me to let go of that.
I think I started to feel more comfortable referring to Ryan’s mom by her first name when we started calling each other for various reasons because she would leave me voicemails saying “This is Diane,” which made it seem okay for me to address her this way.
Since our whole table had differing opinions on the subject last night, I am very curious to hear your take on this!
How do you address your significant other’s parents? Or, if you’re single, how did you address a past partner’s parents? Did this change when you got married (or do you think it will)?
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I don’t really know what I call my boyfriend’s parents. But my grandfather told all of his children’s spouses that they could either call him Dad or Mr Thomas.
I always feel so weird introducing anyone to my family because divorce + remarriages + prefixes just get really confusing with names! A safe combination I’ve come up with for my friends has been Mom & Stepmom go by their first names and Dad & Stepdad go by Dr. First letter of last initial.
Now that I’m working in the adult world I feel more comfortable addressing older adults / parents by their first names – but I still have a problem doing that with my childhood friend’s parents! Its a shift!
I was raised to always address adults as Mr./Mrs. So-and-So as well, but it’s a bit more strange now that I’ve graduated college. I usually use the “Rule of 40” – if they’re over 40, they get a Mr./Mrs.
My parents insisted from day one that my boyfriend call them by their first names, but his parents are a bit more conservative and strict…so I address them as Mr./Mrs. Lastname
Haha, I’m definitely still at Ryan’s “awkward” stage of just saying “hi!” or “hey” or make it really obvious that I’m addressing one of my hubby’s parents so I don’t have to call them by name and/or mom and dad. I’d like to, I just have a mental block or something…
I think I’m super clever because whenever I email them, I write mom and dad, so then they internalize that that’s what I call them, but I never have to say it!… hehe.
You know, I never thought about it before you asked, but I don’t actually call them anything! I just say “Hi!” with a big hug whenever I see them.
I might refer to them as “grandma” and “grandpa” after we have kids. But it was just easier with my husband’s grandma because she told me the first time he brought me over as his girlfriend “I’m Grandma!” 🙂
I am also amazed at how many other people were raised to always call adults Mr. and Mrs. I was too! But I noticed that the women I know now (mostly at church) have their children refer to adults as Miss First Name.
When I teach sunday school I’m not Mrs. Last Name, I’m Miss Amber. What they have their kids call the men hasn’t ever come up, so I don’t know how that works.
Haha This is hilarious. I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years, and I avoid using their names at all costs! I just start talking and look at them so they will listen to me hah. It really is such an awkward thing. I have their numbers saved in my phone as Mr. and Mrs., but I try to not use any name when I address them!
In my culture, it’s common to call your in-laws (and other relatives) by what your spouse calls them….so basically mom and dad. It was really awkward and embarrassing at first, but I eventually got over it.
That was always really tricky! I was raised to always say Mrs. and Mr. but once you are married that just seems weird. Now since we have a child I call my husband’s parents Grandma and Grandpa and he calls my parents Gigi and Grandfun which is what my son refers to them as. I like that because it’s much more personal than Mr. and Mrs. but also not too much like Mom and Dad.
THANK YOU for posting about this! I always felt awkward with “hey you,” especially since we’re both Chinese and call our families by their relation to us, like Auntie 5, Uncle 2. The point is, the complete absence of any first names makes it very hard for an outsider to know what to say to not just parents but to other family members. My boyfriend goes the “hey” route too, I think. It’ll be much easier married because I grew up where the in-laws were Mom/Dad.
LOVE this question. It’s weird. I call Austin’s parents “Michelle” and “Mr. Martin”. LOL true story. I avoid calling him Paul at ALL costs. hehe
I loved your body pump description – I followed that link over – you’re so cute!
I call my Fiance’s mom by her first name and will continue to do so. His grandmother though, I call her by what he does, Nana. I think it’s endearing and I think she loves it. Everyone calls her that (even her own children), so I it just come naturally to me.
i do that w/ ryan’s grandma too (he calls her “bubbie”).
My BFs parents insist I call them by their first names…haven’t gotten used to it!
Good question! I’ve enjoyed reading everyone’s responses.
Interestingly, my husband and I both have been told to call our in-laws by their first names. HE is super comfortable with it and fine. I, on the other hand, am so awkward about it for some reason!
My dilemma was basically resolved once we got a dog and his parents became “grandparents” 😉 Now it’s “grandmommy’s” house, haha. Other than that I overly avoid using their first names. I don’t know why it’s so strange?
I call my in-laws by their first names….it doesn’t feel weird to me! But I am okay with doing this with other adults too 🙂
I was raised by my parents to always address older people by Ms. Mrs. Mr. etc.. actually it’s even awkward for me to speak to older people in a friendly manner because in Korean, there’s all these formalities even in the grammar and body language.. so transitioning to English is especially awkward, I definitely would feel super weird calling my in-laws by their first name!
I call my in-laws by their first names. I didn’t call them anything either, until my mother-in-law (who was just my boyfriend’s mom at the time) sat me down and told me it was about time I started calling her by her first name. THAT was awkward!
My husband calls my mom by her first name, but he calls my dad “sir.” I’m not sure that he does it on purpose, or because he’s still terrified of my dad and wouldn’t want to offend him by saying anything else lol.
Keith’s parents wanted me to call them mom and dad but that was so awkard fo me that it literally stressed me out whenever I was in their presence. I eventually just started calling them by their first names and that caused a hige family uproar. They had their feelings so hurt that I wouldn’t call them mom and dad. We eventually settled things when I explained that it just made me uncomfortable and I felt like I was disrespecting my own parents. Truthfully, I don’t think they ever got it. And now they pointedly call themselves by their first names whenever I am around. 5 years of marriage later and that is just the tip of the iceberg. Be very thankful you had good inlaws Julie! 🙂
I too was always raised to address adults by Mr & Mrs So & So. I call my inlaw’s Mom & Pop. My husband calls my dad by his first name. =0)
Hey Julie!
I have the SAME problem, except I’m not married. I’ve been dating the BF for almost 4 years and have a great relationship with his family. However, I think it’s too informal to call his parent’s “Dan’s Parents” or his sister, “Dan’s sister” because that doesn’t adequately reflect our relationship. But I’ve been told to call his parents by their first names, but I agree, it’s still a little awkward.
Mom & Dad for us. From where we were raised, it’s disrespectful to address in-laws by their names 🙂
Interesting question, Julie! I’d honestly never thought about this. I don’t know if it’s a Northern Midwest thing, but neither my family nor anyone I know was raised to call adults “Mr./Mrs.” (Of course I use those terms now professionally, but growing up, we did not.) I never thought twice about addressing my husband’s parents by their first names, even while we were dating. I call his grandparents by their first names, too; I don’t even know if they’re okay with that, now that I think about it! lol. For some reason I feel like it is slightly more awkward for the bf/husband in the relationship. I know my husband has asked me a bunch of times what he should call my parents/grandparents, and I have always said he can call them whatever he wants! Judging by the number of responses on this post, perhaps the issue is a bit more complicated than I thought 😉
Not dating or married or anything, but I know that my parents call their in-laws (my grandparents) by their first names. Unless they’re talking to me or my sister about them, then they’re “Grandma” or “Grandpa.” Or “Mom” & “Dad” if they’re talking about their own parent. 🙂
I’d like to think that I’ll be friendly/comfortable enough with my future boyfriend/husband’s parents that I’ll call them by their first names… We’ll have to see. But I’m pretty sure I’ll call them by their first names, especially if I’ve known them as friends BEFORE I start dating their son. You know?
The only people I call “Mr” or “Mrs” are my teachers, really. I mean, maybe I’ll start off calling potential in-laws “Mr” and “Mrs”, but hopefully the relationship will get to a point that they’ll be okay that (or even insist) I call them by their first names. 🙂
omg. my friends and i always have this conversation, and most of us just avoid having to to use their names at all…like ryan, just “hi, hey, etc”
it’s most awkward when you’re trying to refer to one of them in conversation with the other. i usually just say “she/he” even if it’s slightly awkward within the sentence.
when they refer to eachother while talking to me they’ll use their first names most of the time.
but my fiance (i’m still getting used to using that instead of bf) is totally comfortable calling my parents by their first names.
My mom has always said to everyone, including my friends and boyfriend, “Just call me Itzy, none of this Mrs. stuff!” It always makes things less awkward for people. I still don’t know what to call my boyfriend’s parents though!
My husband and I had a very long discussion about this before we got married. We finally decided that we would call each others parents by their first names. I have no problem calling my in-laws by their first names but I don’t think I have ever heard my husband address my parents…and we’ve been together 12+ years. : )
David’s parents are divorced. So i call his mom: Mama! and his Dad: Dad. I call their respective spouses by their first names.
What time do you wake up in the morning to work out? I wake up at 5:30 am to work out because I have to be at work at 8:30, but i feel like I don’t get nearly as much accomplished as you!!
My Fiance is from up by Chicago and EVERYONE there calls all the parents by Mr. and Ms…..and the Parents refer to other adults by Mr. and Mrs.. I think its classy and old school which is pretty hip. However where Im from the Mr. and Mrs. is a no no…makes people feel old and not friendly, and the fiance had a hard time calling my parents by their first names while omitting the Mr. and Mrs.
As we dated I sometimes would slip and call her parents by their first name, but still call them Mr. and Mrs. Ristich out of respect and their norms in that area.
That’s absolutely hilarious about the in-law naming… I’ve had the EXACT same conversation with my husband. We first started dating when we were 17, so of course I called his parents Mr. and Mrs. After a few years, it was still the same. Even when we got engaged, I couldn’t figure out what to call them. It was weird addressing them by first name because I first called them Mr/Mrs, but I couldn’t call them Mom or Dad..it turned to “Your Mom, Your Dad, Him, Her”
Now we’re 23/24 years old and I FINALLY am calling them by first names (after a year of marriage…). Weird transitions.
I seriously love that you asked this question. I got married last year and still do not feel right about calling my in-laws by their first names…so I also avoid saying their names at all. When I have to write out cards, I feel so awkward when I write their actual names down. It just doesn’t feel right!
I’m jumping in on this convo a little late, but with my in-laws, I just called them Mr. and Mrs. until THEY told me it was ok to call them by their first names. My hubby did the same. My parents took longer than his, but Getting the green light from them has made me feel much more comfortable calling them by their first names 🙂
I call my bf’s Dad by his first name b/c he is technically his stepdad and that’s what he calls him. I go back and forth with his mom though. Sometimes I’ll call her Ann and sometimes I’ll just go with Mrs. Ann, even though she tells me not to call her that. It’s so tough b/c like you said I don’t want to be disrespectful!
I agree with you that I feel awkward not saying “Mr. or Ms.” when addressing the in-laws. I use their 1st names, until now. Now that they are grandparents, we call them by what our daughter will call them. Little less awkward for me.
Oh. My. Goodness. The night of my wedding rehearsal, my MIL had a couple of glasses of wine and decided that would be the perfect time to tell me she really doesn’t want me to call her by her first name, but understood that I probably didn’t want to call her mom, either. WHAT THE HECK, LADY? What does she expect me to call her? We’ve now been married for almost 4 years and I STILL don’t know what to call her. Like your dad’s colleague, I try to say “hi” or “hey.” She does, however, leave voicemails and signs cards both referring to herself as Mom. I don’t like it because she isn’t really a “mom” to me…. 🙁
What an interesting topic!! I’m not married (yet) and Ryan actually feels perfectly comfortable calling my mother Annie. My stepdads name is Gerry, and even I call him that… so there is zero reason for anyone to feel uncomfortable calling him Gerry.. even my friends do! On the otherhand, I’m not yet 100% comfortable calling Ryan’s parents’ (all 4 of ’em!) by their first names. I’m more comfortable with his mom and stepdad (same reason as my stepdad) but that just because they’re more talkative and open.
I call my in-laws by their first name. I’ve been married 10 years and have know my in-laws for 17. My husband calls my dad by his first name and the silly man he is calls my mother, mother-in-law. It’s too funny. He’ll be all ‘Hi, mother-in-law’ He also calls her by her first name but mostly it’s mother-in-law. She thinks it’s funny. When I would send out christmas cards I could never write mom and dad on the one for his parents and they always got offended by it. So I started making my husband do it. I just couldn’t call them mom and dad. Oh and for the record to them I’m daughter-in-law more time then I am Danielle. Doesn’t bother me one bit. We all get along really well.
I just stumbled upon this one. I asked my now fiance what I SHOULD call his parents when I met them for the first time. He said “Ron and Katie” so I did. It also helped that when I was introduced they said, “Hi Shannon it’s great to meet you..I’m Ron”. I will just call them by their first names still when we’re married…Mom and Dad seems weird to me. My fiance calls my parents by their first name and will also be skipping the Mom and Dad thing. We know both sets of parents would find it awkward. His brother in law tried it once and was told immediately “Call me Katie” ha ha ha