Remembering Bubbee

Early Saturday morning, Ryan received a call from his mother letting him know that his grandmother, who we all affectionately refer to as Bubbee, passed away in the middle of the night.

Though Bubbee was fighting two forms of cancer, you never would’ve known she was sick until the past few months thanks to her spunky personality that was still in full force when we visited her in the hospital this past spring. Not many people would laugh and smile and play cars with their great-grandson on the edge of their hospital bed the day after emergency surgery, but Bubbee did and she didn’t miss a beat, showing Chase how to roll his truck up the bedrail and hide it under her sheets.

It’s impossible for me not to think of that moment and cry both because it was the last time I saw Bubbee and because I remember the conversation we had moments before. Bubbee looked me in the eyes and told me how sorry she was about our miscarriage, an experience she could personally relate to, and told me I would be okay.

These are words I heard from people before Bubbee, but for some reason, when they came out of Bubbee’s mouth, they really, really touched me and I believed her. Thank goodness Chase ran up to her with his truck and wanted to play moments after this conversation because I was a mess inside.

Ryan and I have been together for 13 years and I feel so lucky to have known and loved Bubbee for so long. In so many ways, she felt like a grandmother to me and I always felt such a strong connection to Bubbee and enjoyed every enthusiastic conversation we had together. Bubbee had a way of lighting up when she spoke and making everyone around her feel important and comfortable.

She treated me like a member of the family from the moment I met her and I’ll never forget her telling me that she knew I was a keeper when she saw how much I ate at family gatherings. I loved talking to her about anything and everything from books (we shared a similar taste!) and food to dogs, the early years of her life, Ryan’s childhood and more. Bubbee owned and ran her own restaurant when Ryan was growing up and made the kind of food that always tasted like it was cooked with a lot of love… and a lot of butter. The best!

Bubbee was an incredible mother, grandmother and great-grandmother and loved her family fiercely. She was such a pivotal part of Ryan’s childhood and his life and the relationship she had with her daughter was nothing short of the most beautiful kind of unconditional love and friendship. I feel lucky to have known her and will always remember her for her bubbly and upbeat personality and the way she made me and everyone around her feel included and loved.

After Ryan received the call from his mother on Saturday morning, he said good memories of Bubbee almost instantly began flickering through his mind. I think that the incredible number of happy, funny and joyful memories we all have of Bubbee is such a testament to the way she lived her life and the impact she had on those who knew and loved her most.

Our Weekend

I offered to take Chase off on a mother-son day of adventure to give Ryan some time to be alone and process everything on Saturday but he said he wanted us with him and so we spent the rest of the weekend together as a family. We hiked, took the boat out, made cookies and laid low together.

I smiled when I thought of Bubbee watching over us on Sunday as we swam in the lake. She was an avid blog reader and never missed a PBF post which meant the world to me even though she told me she always hated it when a post went up “all about that fitness stuff” and just wanted to see pictures of Ryan and Chase and check out my latest book recommendations. (I told you she was spunky! Haha!)

Bubbee, we love you and we miss you so much. Thank you for being such a strong force of positivity, love and joy in our lives. We will treasure memories of you forever.