This morning we arrived at the gym and headed straight to the treadmills where I did 15 minutes of incline walking (8.0 incline at a 4.0 pace) with 5 minutes of running thrown into the mix about halfway through for a total of 20 minutes.
After that it was on to BodyPump! The class actually started a little late today because the instructor threw up. 🙁 Apparently she took a sleeping pill last night and thinks that it totally messed with her stomach. Fortunately she felt much better after she threw up and still wanted to teach the class. What a trooper!
Post ‘Pump, I took Sadie on a 20-minute walk before heading home for breakfast.
Breakfast
Today’s breakfast was served in my winning Tupperware!
Yogurt Bowl
In the mix:
- Fage Greek yogurt
- Chia seeds
- Three different flavors of Gerber Graduate puffs (apple cinnamon, banana and sweet potato)
Stars of the Show
The Spread
I was totally feelin’ the crunchiness from the chia seeds and cereal in my yogurt bowl. Yum!
What Do You Call Your In-Laws?
Now for our interesting conversation from last night…
As you know, after work yesterday Ryan and I enjoyed dinner with my dad and one of his colleagues, Rom. About halfway through the dinner, Rom stopped conversation, turned to Ryan and said, “I have to ask you something. When did you feel comfortable calling Julie’s dad by his first name?”
He posed this question because he’s been married for more than four years and still feels funny addressing his in-laws. He made us all laugh when he said he usually just calls them “Hey!” or “Hi!”
Ryan and I thought it was really interesting because we both agreed that it’s totally awkward trying to figure out how to properly address your boyfriend or girlfriend or husband or wife’s parents.
Do you use their first name? Is that too casual? Does that lack respect?
Do you call them Mr. or Mrs. So-and-So? Is that too formal? Is that too stuffy?
Once you’re married, do you call them Mom or Dad? Is that just plain weird? Or does that feel right?
Both Ryan and I address our in-laws by their first names, but I’ll be 100 percent honest when I say that I still feel kind of awkward doing so! I was raised by my parents to always call adults Mr. and Mrs. So-and-So, and it’s hard for me to let go of that.
I think I started to feel more comfortable referring to Ryan’s mom by her first name when we started calling each other for various reasons because she would leave me voicemails saying “This is Diane,” which made it seem okay for me to address her this way.
Since our whole table had differing opinions on the subject last night, I am very curious to hear your take on this!
How do you address your significant other’s parents? Or, if you’re single, how did you address a past partner’s parents? Did this change when you got married (or do you think it will)?
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i was raised like you–everyone was mr. & mrs. so-and-so unless i had specific permission for my parents’ closest friends to call them by their first names. and even then it was weird!
i call my husband’s parents by their first names in writing- cards, emails, etc. but in person i rarely call them anything unless it’s talking to others, then it’s ben’s dad or whatnot (unless it’s talking to his family members where i call them by their first names). my husband calls my dad by his first name but not my mom. i think it’s because my dad will call my husband to talk sports and such, but my husband doesn’t really talk to my mom on the phone unless my dad puts her on. so…yeah, that’s how it is for us 🙂
I’ve always called my friends parents “hey!” or “hi!”…lol, even my ex-bf’s. It feels weird to call them their first names…
However, I’m meeting my current bf’s mom tonight and I asked what to call her…he told me to call her by her first name because “that’s what everyone calls her”. I’ll still probably call her “hey!”.
DH and I call each other’s parents by their first names. We didn’t meet until we were 25 and 29 respectively, by that time my parents were introducing themselves to all my new friends with their first names, so DH was no exception. I called his parents Mr. & Mrs. until we got serious and they started signing cards to me with their first names. It took some getting used to but now it’s no big deal.
I think if you and they are comfortable using Mom & Dad that’s fine (I’m sure both sets of our parents wouldn’t care; my Mom always called my Dad’s mom “Mom”, but my Dad calls my Mom’s parents by their first names or what we call them) but we weren’t into it. Plus in a few years when grandkids are in the picture, we’ll be calling them Grandma and Grandpa (or whatever they go by) anyway! 🙂
I usually do the “hey” or “hi” thing too!
Those puffs look great! Are they healthy? Just wondering what the nutritional stats are.
This is an interesting topic because everyone feels so differently about it for very legitimate reasons. And I too think it just depends. I really want to call my future in-laws mom and dad, and I want my bf to do the same with my parents. He feels awkward, but I’m a very family oriented person, so I think that’s the way it should be. Hmmm…I have a feeling this will be a huge point of contention for my bf and I once we get married. Oh boy!
It’s super awkward for me because my BF’s mom asked me to call her by her first name, but I still call his dad Mr. Last Name. It’s soooo strange to me to walk in and say “Hi First Name and Mr. Last Name!!” I usually just call them Mr. and Mrs. when they’re together, then use her first name when it’s just her.
My sis-in-law cracks me up because she rarely addresses my parents by any name, but when she has to she calls them Dr. and Mrs. Benner, which just makes me laugh because…her last name is now the same. They’ve always told her to call them by their first names, but I guess she has trouble doing it…I’m sure eventually it will happen though!
When I was with my ex-boyfriend I called his mom by her first name. For a while I did the “hey” or “hi” thing, but after a while it became more comfortable. If we ever had gotten married, I may have started to call her Mom.
My in-laws would LOVE if I called them mom and dad, but honestly, in over 6 years I have never directly addressed them, lol. They live 800 miles away, so I haven’t spent much time with them. I’m still uncomfortable around them. I’d probably call them by their first names if I have to. Hehe
My husband calls my mum ‘mum’ as well, which I’m fine with. But it is a bit weird when we’re out together as we’re both calling the same person mum, yet we’re clearly a couple… I think people wonder if there is incest going on!! x
My fiance parents are divorced and for that reason his Dad has grandchildren but not his Mom. I address his father as Papa Bob because that is what his grandkids call him. We all call him Papa Bob…even his children. His Mom is Mrs. Jenny… not sure that I could refer to her by just her first name b/c I’m so used to saying ‘Mrs’. I don’t think that when we’re married it will change. We’ve been dating for 11 years, so it’s habit now. I do think that when we have children, I will start referring to her my her grandmother name.
I have struggled with this, too! I fluctuate between first names (which seem weird) or Mama and Papa T. but often side step it by saying “your mom.” I never just call them mom or dad. I’m hoping when the baby comes this summer that it will be easier to just start calling them Grandma and Grandpa.
My husband was raised to be very formal in addressing adults, and the first few times he met my parents he called them Mr. and Mrs. But my parents (who raised my brothers and I to address adults as “Mr and Mrs”) got sick of it and told him to start calling him by their first names. Not sure what changed between my parents and my hubby, but after he returned from his deployment he started calling them “Ma (or Mom) and Pops” and to this day refers to them as such. And it works for everyone….and I love that they get along so well that he calls them that and they refer to him as their son. 🙂
start calling them***
I love this post because I totally get where Rom is coming from. I try to avoid addressing my fiances parents because I feel weird calling them by their first names, but would feel incredibly strange calling them Mr. and Mrs. so-and-so. I know that they want me to call them by their first names so really it is just me that feels weird. I will get over it at some point I hope!
My fiances brothers wife calls them Mom and Dad and I think it is the weirdest thing ever. I would never call anyone other then my parents Mom and Dad. That is just my two cents.
I don’t have in-laws yet, but I call my boyfriend’s parents by their first names. They’re the type of people who feel weird being referred to as Mr. or Mrs. because it makes them feel like their parents. 🙂 I don’t think I could ever call them Mom/Dad though.
I grew up in a really small town, so I have always called adults by their first names! When everyone knows each other I guess that is more the custom.
I was with my ex-boyfriend for 6 years and when we first met i tried like hell to avoid his parents like the plague (“Hi” & “Mrs.”)…but about 2 years into it when they started having me over for dinner with their friends, and seeing eachother consisted of cross-country flights – i figured first names were the way to go…and they said they liked it better that way! However, despite how I addressed his parents, it was absolutely neccessary that he call my dad “Mr. **** “.
I’ve never thought about this too much until now. I’m getting married this year and honestly couldn’t imagine calling my in-laws Mom and Dad. For me, I only have one set of those. My mom is one of my best friends and I think she would be hurt by that as well. I usually just call them by their first names. My fiance, on the other hand, is a different story. He is the “just start talking, hope they know I’m addresing them” type. To top it off, my parents have THICK british accents and sometimes he can’t understand them at all!! He doesn’t try and engage them in too many conversations, unless the translator (aka me) is around, ha!
I cant take sleeping pills at all.. Tylenol PM + Me= throwing up in the AM also.. Bad news!!
I kinda feel like washington is a very easy going state and isnt very formal with that kind of stuff.. Ive always called my bfs parents by there first names..Usually when im introduced its “this is my mom Linda..” So it just kinda naturally happens.
I’m fortunate enought to have a very comfortable relationship with my in laws. We all have nicknames for each other. I call my FIL “Big Ron” and my MIL “MJ”.
I can’t imagine calling them Mr. and Mrs.
I dated a guy for 4 years during HS and College, lived at his house during summers and still called his mom Mrs. It was weird that she never told me to call her anything else. I call my inlaws by their first names. My mom (and MIL) always say “Don’t call me Mrs…. Thats my MIL” Now that I’m married, I totally see it. There is already a Mrs. Pflum, 3 if you include me.
my husband calls his parents by their first names more than mom and dad, which i thought was weird at first but it definitely makes it easier for me to call them by their first names as well.
Haha I can see why this would be totally awkward.
Luckily in our culture we would just call them the same way we call other adults (or people old enough to be our parents): ‘aunt’ or ‘uncle’. nothing to do with being related to each other – that’s just the way it is lol. Thank God for that coz it’s just easier haha
I don’t have inlaws yet but I would probably have some of the same trouble, at least at first. I, too, was raised to call adults by Mr. Or Mrs. so-and-so. As I’ve become an adult though it’s become easier to refer to “adults” (aka people older than me) by their first name.
My uncle on the other hand, he calls my grandparents (his in-laws) “Mom” and “Dad” and it seems fairly natural. Sometimes though he calls my grandpa “junior”…not sure where that one comes from. 😀
Good question! I was brought up calling my friends’ parents by their first names, so I refer to my boyfriend’s parents by their first names. The tricky part is nicknames! His mother’s name is Andrea, but she goes by Andi, and his father also has a nickname. For the first three years or so, I felt like using their nicknames was too informal. Now I call them by their nicknames and feel comfortable doing so. It’s so interesting to read other people’s comments about this topic! 🙂
My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 4 years now, and we’ve always called each others’ parents by their first names, but that’s also how they introduced themselves to us. I don’t think that will change after we get married either…I definitely think calling your in-laws “mom” and “dad” is creepy. They may be technically family now but they’re still not your parents.
My boyfriends and I have been together for 3 years now and I remember after a year of us being together his mom comes up to me and goes “You know you can call me Sue! or Susan!” You never seem to really call me anything! Haha..so now I always call her Susan! (Which is her name , obviously!) but i definitely didn’t know what to call her.. i do refer to his father though, as dad! his parents are divorced and for some reason i’m a little closer with his dad and we have a joke that he calls me his 2nd daughter and he’s my dad #2!
I call my MIL by her first name. My husband isn’t close with her, so we rarely speak. On that note, my husband calls my parents mom and dad because they are his family now. At first it was weird,, now I think it’s cute.
It cracks me up that you eat Puffs. My kids LOVE them (they will steal them from babies – it’s slightly embarrassing), but I think they taste like cardboard. Hee.
I started dating my hubby when we were 19 (almost 14 years ago – yikes!) and have always called his parents by their first names. I definitely don’t call them mom and dad. Now that I have kids I mostly call them by what my kids call them (unless I’m directly talking to my hubby about them- that would be weird).
My boyfriend and I are Mexican. He calls my dad Don Miguel. Haha. It sounds really funny to me, but they both seem to be okay and comfortable with it. I knew I didn’t want to use “Don” and “Dona” because I wasn’t raised that way, but since my boyfriend sometimes calls his folks by their first name,(which I would NEVER do my with parents) I do too. What is funny to me is that my bf uses “don and dona” which are quite formal, but at the same time he calls his parents by their first names, sometimes even nicknames! (Weirdos. Haha.)
I am glad to have seen this post! It’s awkward with my Fiance and his parents because we first met because I worked for them. I am a Vet Tech, and his Dad is a vet. He is Dr Lawson to me, and his Mom is Mrs Lawson. Sometimes I would call her Judy or Mrs Judy at work as well. When the Fiance and I are alone it’s Mom and Dad for both sets of parents or “your” mom/dad if clarification is needed. My parents insist on him calling them Chris/Maria, but my Mom enjoys him calling her Mom 🙂
I think my parents called their inlaws Mom and Dad, but since they are now divorced my Dad refers to my Maternal Grandmother as “your grandmother”. My Mom calls Dad’s parents Oma and Opa, which is what we call them. It’s German for Grandmother and Grandfather.
My husband’s family is on a first name basis with everyone (aunts and uncles included… no uncle mike, just mike), so calling his parents by their first name seemed normal, even though I had a hard time with it at first. I was always raised to give formal names to everyone, even close family friends were referred to as aunt and uncle. After we got engaged, my in-laws insisted I call them mom and dad, which is still weird to me after being married all these years. I do it because they prefer this and my parents are OK with it (wouldn’t want to disrespect my actual mom and dad).
Definitely first names. My boyfriend’s parents are super laid-back, unlike my mom who terrifies my boyfriend and I think he is unsure of what to address her. The poor thing.
Love this subject because it’s SO weird!!! I call them Mom Dixon and Dad Dixon. I know they’re fine with just mom and dad, but my mom and dad are mom and dad… and that would be strange… right?
I always call my boyfriend’s parents by Mr. & Mrs. when we first start dating and I don’t switch over until they tell me to. My boyfriend’s mom addresses herself Mrs. K when she writes letters or emails to me so I still call her Mrs. his last name. Its funny though because for some reason guys always feel comfortable calling my parents by their first names (which my parents are totally cool with). Guess thats just how my family rolls, we like to keep it casual 😉
I keep reading about BodyPump everywhere. I really do have to try it!
I call my inlaws Mom and Dad.
In Spanish we have a word for in-law “suegro/suegra” which is what many people use to call their in-laws.
However for some strange reason me and my husband and my sister and her husband, we all call our in-laws by the church salutation of “Hermano/Hermana” which is just brother/sister. Depending on how you say it, it is casual or formal, distant or friendly.
We’ve had conversations about this and my mom doesn’t like the spanish word but she has no suggestions for replacements so “sister” it is! Since my mom forbade either of our husbands from calling her “suegra” that’s what they both use. Sometimes my husband will call her “jefecita” as a joke, which means boss-lady and she doesn’t really like it!
In my culture, we refer to all adults as uncle or aunty. Once you get married, you call your inlaws mom/mummy and dad/daddy/papa. I know I’m going to find this super awkward at first. When my sister first got married, she didn’t refer to her MIL as anything, she would just speak directly. Fortunately it’s become a habit for her to call her MIL ‘mum’
I call my in-laws by their first names. It was awkward at first, but ten years later it isn’t anymore!!!
i love puffs too!! actually, i love most baby snacks that are fruit flavored. you have to think they are healthier than adult food- you wouldn’t feed an infant cookie crisp. that’s my philosophy.
My parents and their friends were always informal and had me call their friends by first names, so I have never felt weird calling my in-laws by their first names, even before I was married. The only time I say Mr. and Mrs. is in work and non-personal relationships.
I’m not married, but my boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 and a half years or so…. we are both graduated from college, not that that makes a difference, but I guess it makes us a little “older”, but I totally agree! It’s so awkward! He calls me parents mr. and mrs. but he kind does the same thing by saying Hi! or Hey! I don’t call his parents by their first names, I normally don’t really say their names now that I think about it LOL I do the same thing! Hey, or hi! But I imagine if/when we get married, we will go to the first name basis. I think thats appropriate. It’s a really weird thing for sure! His sister is married and her husband calls his parents by their first names, so I’m sure we will do the same!
My hubby calls my Dad, Mr Lastname. He’s not comfortable calling him by his first name and we’ve been married 3 years. I call my MIL Mama and my FIL by his first name. It just feels very comfortable that way.
I’ve actually always called my fiancé’s parents by their first names. My best friend actually married into his family last year, so I met my future in-laws through her, not my fiancé!!! But Dan used to call my parents Dr. and Mrs. but has since switched to their first names. I really don’t think I could ever call my in-laws Mom and Dad though. They aren’t really my mom and dad!
This makes me laugh! I’m totally a “Hey” and “Hi” person! I already have a mom and dad, so I don’t want to call them that…and I haven’t gotten around to calling them by their first names…yet I’ve been married for 3 1/3 years. 🙂 Ha!
I call my future in-laws by their first name, but we have two different types of
“you” in my language, so I call them with the “you” that is formal
Before I was married, I would address them as Mr. and Mrs. Whaever. When I was dating my husband, before we got married, I called his parents Mr. and Mrs. Whatver, until my mother in law asked to me call her by her first name. I usually don’t call her anything and just start talking in her direction.
My in-laws were nice enough to tell me to call them by their first names when we first met. They are casual people and it works well that way. I think my parents kind of said the same thing (because they are not comfortable with the “mom” and “dad” thing). It makes it so helpful when the parents are helpful with telling you right away. But otherwise, I think calling them Mr or Mrs first shows respect and allows them to tell you otherwise. 🙂
I was struggling with that the other day while writing my thank you notes for my bridal shower gifts. I had no idea how to refer to my fiancee’s mother. My mom suggested I refer to her (in the note) as “Mom Wilson,” but I’m not sure if that’ll stick or not…
you always ask such good questions on here. i now call my bf’s parents by their first names, but still feel a bit shy about it (used to just say hi or hey, like you hehe). but also like your in-laws, they always refer to themselves with their first names, so i take it they don’t mind me doing the same.
my bf’s mom would probably love me to call her ‘mom’, actually, because my boyfriend and i have been together so long (8.5 years) so she refers to herself to me that way sometimes too (and she really treats me like a daughter a lot) but i don’t know if my mom would like me calling someone else mom! haha
I’ve been married almost three years (and we’ve been together for ten) and I still use the “Hi!” instead of any names. My parents make my husband call them “mom” and “dad” but my in-laws are another story…they just said “Call us whatever you’re comfortable with.” Big help! So now they have no names at all. 🙂
I use the whole Hey, Hi, or wait to make I contact and just start talking thang too. My other half calls my parents by their first name but we are much closer to my parents 25minutes vs. 8 hours. Both of my parents called their in-laws (my grandparnets), mom and dad which I always thought was strange.