As I am sure you can guess, we spent the vast majority of the past few days outside. But first Ryan and I kicked off the weekend with a sushi and frozen custard date night on Friday which was lovely!
(Top: Amazon / Pants: Amazon / Heels: Amazon / Bag: Madewell)
The boys are increasingly interested in Chase acting as their primary babysitter and it’s prompted me to ask around to see when people start leaving their kids alone under the care of an older sibling. (In our area I’m hearing mostly 11-13 but internet Googling will give ya answers all over the place.) If you have older children, when did this start for you? Chase is 11 and while I fully trust him to watch over his brothers well, it’s the external things you can’t plan for that freak me out more than anything (a kid falling down the stairs, choking, etc.). Clearly we’re not quite there yet, but it’s somthing that’s increasingly on our radar.
Saturday
Saturday morning began with pancakes followed by a dirt bike adventure on some local trails.
The boys biked ahead of us but stopped often enough for us to speed walk and catch up with Comet. Comet just about lost his mind having to stay on his leash (he loves off-leash sprinting after the boys on their dirt bikes in our yard) but we all still had a great time in the sunshine and shade.
After our trail adveture, we didn’t have a ton of time back home before we had to head out for Ryder’s soccer game.
As Ryder played, Chase and Rhett were true sideline siblings and passed the time with an assortment of activities ranging from Battleship and card games to soccer on a nearby field. (Battleship is one of our favorites for sideline sports entertainment and this portable case edition works well for keeping all of the pieces together and organized.)
Ryder’s team didn’t win but clearly Ryder wasn’t wallowing in a pit of dispair as he came off the field saying, “Well, we lost but at least someone brought goldfish!”
(Tank: Target / Flannel: Lands’ End/ Pants: Z Supply / Sneakers: Nike / Tote: Lands’ End / Bag: Clare V.)
Post-game snacks = Liiiife in rec soccer!
On our drive home, we popped into Target to pick up snacks for Chase’s flag football team to enjoy after their early evening game. (Snacks = Life in flag football, too.) Chase requested puppy chow (a HUGE hit, by the way) so we got everything we needed to make that sweet treat along with apples and mini bags of popcorn.
It was Chase’s first flag football game of the season and if his spring season taught us anything, it’s to expect some clunkiness in the first few games as their team learns to play together and gets into a rhythm. They didn’t win their game but weren’t too beat up about it.
Sunday
The boys were craving some downtime at home after running around so much on Saturday so we leaned into a slower start to the day on Sunday. This looked like fishing, fort building and a little football in the backyard.
We had another game on the agenda around lunchtime and headed out to cheer for Chase’s soccer team at 11 a.m.
We’re so incredibly proud of Chase’s soccer progress and I attribute so much of it to taking a step back and letting him come into his own on the field on his own timeline. When Chase first started out on the soccer field, he was very timid (being one of the smallest kids didn’t help) but now that he’s a few years in, his confidence has grown and it’s been so fun to see him believe in his abilities as they’ve grown. He’s a true asset to his team now not just for his speed, skill and ability to score, but as a mom, I’m most proud of the way Chase has a strong desire to unite and encourage his teammates on the soccer field.
About two weeks ago, after practice with his new team one night, Chase said he was a little bummed that his team didn’t seem to really root for each other and celebrate each others’ successes, whether it be a solid assist, a great block by the goalie or a goal. I know this is very important to Chase (he’s truly the first kid to run up to a teammate and celebrate them after they score), so I urged him to continue to be the encouraging kid he is on the field and it might help turn things around.
While I was happy for Chase’s team for winning on Sunday, I was most excited see the kids celebrate each other after a great play. I laughed with one of my friends on the sideline because I truly got tears in my eyes when a kid came back and celebrated Chase after his goal because I know that means more to Chase than the goal itself. Clearly this is the stuff that sticks with me way more than a team’s record.
After Chase’s game, we made our way home and something wonderful happened!
We are currently fostering Madeline, a beautiful 5-month old kitten with the most adorable little bobtail. Madeline is the most timid kitten we’ve fostered and is a quirky little lady we’ve come to adore. We’ve quickly learned her preferences; she wants LOTS of love, pets and attention but she wants them HER way. Madeline does not want to sit in our laps but prefers to walk back and forth right next to us as we pet her. (She’s been phenomenal with the boys but they know to be very calm with her.) She will nudge our hands the second we stop petting her and thrives on love and attention in her safe space. I’m convinced she’d happily walk back and forth soaking up all the pets and love all day long if we could sit with her non-stop.
Madeline’s safe space in our home has been our guest bathroom shower. She purrs loudly the second we sit down in the shower with her and loves it when we join her in her domain. For the first six days we had her, Madeline absolutely refused to cross the threshold of the shower to explore. When I asked for advice from you guys on Instagram about what I could do to encourage her to come out of the shower, so many of you chimed in on Instagram to tell me not to sweat it and to let Madeline be Madeline and explore when she’s ready. I took this to heart and we’ve just continued to sit with her and keep her environment calm and quiet with the shower door open.
Well, over the weekend Madeline took a few timid steps out of the shower… and then a few more… and a few more! She’s still far from an adventurous kitten but I’m so thrilled to see her confidence and sense of security grow. We’re proud of her and will continue to meet her where she’s at, whatever that looks like. Here is all of Madeline’s adoption information should you be looking to add a sweet littled bobtailed lady to your family. I think she would absolutely thrive in a calm, loving household.
The rest of our Sunday included a lot of the usual — household tidying, a little meal prep, movie night, reading before bed and semi-early bed times.
As for today, I’m currently working from my favorite local coffee shop and will be here until I get antsy enough to leave and squeeze in a workout before school pickup and soccer tonight. I hope you all have a wonderful week and, as always, I am so grateful to you for making PBF a part of your day!!
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Consider signing Chase up for a SafeSitter class, which may be offered by a local fire department. It covers all your concerns and will help build his (and your) confidence in staying home alone
I LOVE this idea!!!! Thank you for sharing — I took a CPR and babysitter certification class as a kid and don’t know why this didn’t pop into my mind for my own kid!? Thank you!
I second the class suggestion. In Iowa, we have ISU extension offices in our counties which offer babysitting courses over the summer. I’m not ready for my child to be responsible for other families yet (sounds SO HUGE!), but being more confident in being home alone with her sister would really help us out. At almost 12, she’s still a little unsure, so I need to also take my own advice and sign her up. I’m hopeful she’ll learn she is capable of doing this and doing it well!
We have an almost 11 year old and a 5 year old. Once a week after school our older one watches his brother for about 30-45 minutes til one of us is home from work. Last week for the first time we let them stay home together for an hour while we went to a quick function at their school (and let them watch a pre-approved movie). We have a LOT of rules about what is off limits when they are home alone (basically nothing that involves any physical movement because, well…boys!). We also have gone over with our 11 year old, multiple times, what to do in certain emergencies (choking, blood, etc) and when he needs to call us vs. 911. Our next door neighbors work opposite shifts, so we know 99% of the time one of them is home, and our kids know to run there if there’s a true emergency. Definitely think all of this depends on your situation and knowing your kids. Our 11 year old is very trustworthy and a rule follower and our 5 year old listens to his brother very well. This has made it a lot easier for us, plus them being able to call/facetime us from his tablet so we can check in.
I think this is such a good way to trickle in responsibility. We’ve done something similar — we’ve let Chase watch his brothers while we take Comet for a short walk in the neighborhood. We’re reachable by phone (we leave one of ours with him) and they have a LOT of rules (no eating bc of choking risk, pick upstairs or downstairs and stay there, no outside time, etc.) and have also reviewed calling us vs. 911/running to a neighbor first, etc. I think this is a good “taste” of independence before we’re ready for more.
I think when to leave the kids home alone depends a lot on the family dynamics and maturity of the kids. My oldest is 17 and we just started letting her babysit her siblings about a year or two ago. She’s a great kid but it took her a little longer to mature and be responsible than other kids her age so that’s why it took us a long time to feel confident. Her siblings are now 7 and 3 but I wasn’t ready to leave them alone when the baby was less than 2 years old.
We are in a very similar life stage. We started leaving our 11 yo home at age 10 when he wasn’t interested in attending his little sister’s basketball games. We were gone just a little over an hour and we set some strict rules: no eating while we’re not home, no answering the door/playing outside/having neighborhood friends over, and he needs to have the family iPad nearby at all times in case he needs to call us or we want to check in. We sometimes let our next door neighbors know he’s home alone so he can go to them if he needs anything. He has yet to watch his little sister except for times when my husband and I take the dog for a walk in the neighborhood and they aren’t interested in joining. It seems like a lot of rules as I type them out and although he loves the independence of staying home alone for short periods, watching his sister is a much bigger responsibility that we’re not quite ready for.
Like Chase my son also joined a low key, travel-lite soccer team this fall. It is so fun to watch him and whenever he makes a good play he looks to us on the sidelines with the sweetest look of pride in himself and I almost always tear up. I’m just happy to support anything that gives him confidence and makes him happy – he’s been asking to play travel sports for years and we all weren’t quite ready yet. This low key program is perfect for him and our family.
our oldest is 10 1/2 and we will leave him home alone for short periods of time (like 1 parent going on an errand, running, or to the gym, less than 1 hour and staying nearby our house). we’ve prepped him on what to do in various emergencies/difficult situations, as well as which neighbors are around. there’s also an ipad available he can use to text or call us. we also have an almost 6 year old. we will leave the boys home together for ~30 minutes max when we go on walks in our neighborhood, again with the safety caveats as before. there are almost ALWAYS multiple neighbors that we know and trust home, and our oldest is very cautious, reliable, and responsible and we’ve gone over all the “rules” for staying home alone multiple times. probably sometime in the next year we will transition to letting the boys stay home while we go on a shorter dinner date near our house but we aren’t ready for that yet! we also plan to get a landline or basic cell phone so making phone calls is very easy. this is certainly a transition time as parents but i’m loving the extra flexibility/freedom!!
I think it depends on the maturity of the oldest. Ours is 13 and is medicated for adhd. I have been leaving her alone at the house for 1-3 hours since she was in the middle of 6th grade. When we started, I would always make sure that there was a neighbor home that she could go see if there was an emergency or if she got scared. Now I don’t check anymore. We don’t have a land line phone so we have discussed how she could get help if needed (try x neighbor then y neighbor then z neighbor til someone answers the door).
My husband and I will take walks of 30-40 minuted from our house with her in charge while everyone watches tv. We stay within “shouting distance” lol. I do not trust her to watch our kids while we leave yet because there’s still too much squabbling and she doesn’t always take the most mature approach in handling it. Sibling justice is not the same as how they treat others. 😂
But she has been working as a mother’s helper for about a year for different friends of mine which was a good way to get experience while a parent is still there to ask for help or handle an emergency.
She just had her first gig where the parents left, but the expectation was “eat pizza and watch a movie together.” She didn’t have to do bedtime as the parents were back by 7. Things went well!!’ She does not have a phone yet, so we had to review with the family how they would like her to handle an emergency.
I am hoping to find a babysitter’s course for her to take. They don’t seem to be as many in the area as I expected! There is one at CPCC occasionally but it seems to fill up immediately.
Anecdotally I was babysitting for groups of kids by 13, making $20 for like 5 hours of work. Times have changed! I would never hire a 13 year old for my current crew if I was going to leave.
I’m sure you’ll make a thoughtful decision!
I should add that the behavior of your other kids is part of what to consider as well, and if there’s any medical needs. I wouldn’t hire a 13 year old because one of my kids has medical needs. But I was actually comfortable with my daughter babysitting for the family recently because their kids don’t and behave well.
Hi Julie! Deciding when to leave the kids home alone is a tough one (but oh, does it open up life a good bit!). We have two boys, currently 11 and 13. We left them home alone either for the first time when they were 10 and 12. We hadn’t planned on it, but our childcare fell through last minute when we had tickets to a comedy show, so we decided to try it out. We explained to them what we expected they’d do (and what not to do), and told them it was a trial run to see if they could handle it and that we believed they could. It was for a couple of hours and we weren’t going to be home super late so we were comfortable trusting them and thankfully they did a great job and got themselves ready for bed with no problem. We had started leaving them home individually for short periods when they were each stone 9/10, but we wouldn’t leave them at night or alone together until they were older. Now that they’re 11 and 13 we feel pretty comfortable leaving them on their own and they’re pretty responsible. They love the freedom (a break from Mom & Dad, sign them right up!) send it makes it so much easier for us to make plans. They have ways to get in touch with us if they need us as well; we’ve had a Google home in our house that they could use to call us for several years, and now they each have a Bark phone) which helps. It’s not an easy decision, but I’m sure you’ll figure out what is best for y’all.