I am sitting here with our sweet little newborn baby cuddled up on a squishy Boppy pillow in my lap with my laptop propped up in front of me. My heart is so incredibly full. The first few days of Ryder’s life were unlike anything we predicted or imagined and having our baby home with us feels like the biggest blessing.
I want to share Ryder’s full birth story on the blog today and it’s taken me a while to have both the time and the energy to type everything up, mostly because the first few days of Ryder’s life were incredibly stressful and scary and filled with long hours in the neonatal intensive care unit. Seeing our tiny baby hooked up to breathing tubes and feeding tubes made me feel more helpless than I have in my entire life and I am so beyond grateful for the amazing care Ryder received. I could not be more proud of his amazing strength. The nurses and doctors did not think he’d be home with us this quickly and we are so beyond thankful.
I want to share Ryder’s birth story on the blog in a way that focuses on just that – his birth. It’s hard not to feel like Ryder’s birth was clouded by everything that followed since four short hours after he arrived he was unexpectedly whisked off to the NICU but I want to focus on his birth in this post because it was a moment we hoped and prayed so hard for and it was truly one of the most incredible and emotional moments of my entire life.
Ryder’s Birth Story
Ryder was born on Monday, June 18 at 3:29 p.m. He arrived right on time – on his due date! – which shocked me mainly because I fully anticipated going into labor early since his big brother was born at 38 weeks and I had two experiences with false labor prior to his arrival. I was just beginning to think that I might need help to go into labor this time around since my doctor mentioned stripping my membranes at my 39 week appointment and said we’d discuss induction options at my 40-week appointment if I was still pregnant and no further dilated or effaced.
(39 weeks, 6 days. The day before Ryder was born!)
On the Sunday before I went into labor, we went out to dinner to celebrate Father’s Day at Hawthorne’s Pizza in Huntersville. We were on a mission to order The Inducer Pizza, a buffalo chicken pizza said to induce labor by many expectant moms in our area. A few of Ryan’s coworkers and a handful of moms I know recommended the pizza to us and even though we had no expectations of it working, it seemed like a fun activity and the buffalo chicken pizza was quite delicious!
Though I clearly cannot credit The Inducer with causing me to go into labor, we couldn’t help but laugh and say, “Well, it worked!” when I woke up around 5 a.m. on Monday morning to a serious contraction. It was very painful and I immediately rushed to the bathroom. The pain was intense and lasted about 90 seconds. Half an hour later, another contraction followed and less than 30 minutes after that, another.
I didn’t say anything to Ryan right away since he woke up just before my first contraction and went into our garage to work out. Plus, with two false labor experiences under my belt, I didn’t want to sound the alarm just in case this wasn’t the real deal. By 6:30 a.m., the pain increased further and my contractions were about 20 minutes apart. I became increasingly convinced this was the real deal. By the time Ryan was done with his workout, I told him what was happening and encouraged him to keep his cell phone on but still go into work because I didn’t want him to just wait at home and stare at me, especially since I still found myself doubting everything and worrying about another false labor experience.
Ryan headed into work just before 7 a.m. and soon after he left my mom and Chase were up. I told my mom what was happening and we both said we were pretty darn sure this was the real deal. I took a shower to try to relax and pulled on the ugliest pajamas I could find just in case my water broke or any bleeding occurred and tried to rest in our bed.
Chase joined me to “talk a little bit” which was such a great distraction. It also helped me think of things other than the pain and my thoughts mainly centered around the fact that this could very well be our last morning together before he became a big brother. Cue all the emotions!
I ended up calling Ryan at work around 9 a.m. and told him to head home within an hour because I was pretty darn positive this was the real deal. After I called him, I called my OB/GYN’s office and explained what I was experiencing. My contractions were strong and relatively close together but kind of strange. I would get one really big contraction that lasted between one and two minutes and then about 45 seconds later I experienced what I could only describe as an “after shock” contraction that was still painful but not quite as intense and lasted for 25-45 seconds.
When the nurse asked me about the spacing of my contractions I explained that they were somewhat regular but still rather far apart – about 10 minutes. I didn’t count my “after shock” contractions when I spoke with her which, in retrospect, I should have because I very likely would’ve been sent directly to the hospital. Instead, the nurse made me a 10 a.m. appointment at the OB/GYN’s office where I was hooked up to a monitor for nearly 40 minutes.
Ryan and I gave Sadie and Chase hugs and kisses, took a few last-minute family pictures during a contraction reprieve, loaded up Ryan’s car with our hospital bags and headed off to the OB/GYN.
When we arrived, I was checked and told I was 3 centimeters dilated which was encouraging since I was 2 centimeters at my 39 week appointment but also a bit discouraging since I was hoping to be further along.
During the 40 minutes I spent hooked up to the monitors, my contractions became very regular and I had one big contraction every four minutes but my “after shock” contractions continued in between each of them with just as much pain but a shorter duration. I was given apple juice and Cheez-Its to try to make our baby move since I wasn’t feeling much movement at this point. Thankfully the juice seemed to do the trick and made our baby move but 40 minutes later I was in so much pain and feeling more and more nauseated by the second.
When the nurse practitioner came in to check on me for a second time, she looked at my contraction readings and said she had no doubt this was the real deal and sent us across the street to the hospital. I ended up throwing up in the parking lot of the OB/GYN’s office and then Ryan and I sped off to the hospital where I was immediately admitted a little after 11 a.m. and hooked up to the monitors.
They didn’t check me at this point since my contractions were so close together and the nurses said they thought things were going to progress very quickly. I was in so much pain – I truly think I blacked out how freaking painful contractions are after my first delivery – and when they said I could request the epidural immediately, I didn’t hesitate when I said YES.
It took a while to get fluids into my body and for the anesthesiologist to come into our room with my epidural and I did everything I could to work through the pain of seemingly back-to-back contractions. One thing I remembered from my labor with Chase was that there was NOTHING I could do to alleviate the pain of a contraction and no position I could get into to make myself feel better. That rang true this time as well and I moaned and groaned through the pain.
Eventually my epidural was ready and I didn’t care at all bout the needle because I just wanted the pain relief! Unfortunately the epidural didn’t work for me the first time. My legs and feet were numb but I still felt the pain of every single contraction. The doctor apologized and said this was extremely rare but assured me he thought he could try again with success. The whole process of getting the second epidural took nearly an hour and I ended up throwing up again and continued to try to breathe my way through contractions, this time with tingly legs that required me to stay in bed.
My second epidural worked quickly and the pain relief was so ridiculously wonderful.
I relaxed and found myself thinking more and more about the moment I’d push and we’d meet our baby for the first time. I was totally awake and alert (I refused any pain or nausea medication prior to the epidural since I received something before my epidural with Chase that I HATED because it made me feel mentally fuzzy) and I truly had FUN talking with Ryan about baby names and the excitement surrounding not knowing whether we were about to meet our son or daughter. I know epidurals aren’t for everyone but man oh man it was the right decision for me. Bless that epidural. Phew!!!
Soon after my second epidural took effect, I was checked and told I progressed to 8 centimeters and was 100 percent effaced. Our midwife broke my water and told me I’d likely be pushing within an hour. It was so exciting!
The next time I was checked was less than an hour later and I was 10 centimeters dilated. The same midwife who delivered Chase was working on Monday and since we have such a great relationship, I was absolutely thrilled when she said she couldn’t wait to deliver our second baby, too. She told me I could try one “practice push” to see how it felt and that was all Ryder needed to begin his journey into the world!
Our midwife saw his head and told me to stop pushing because the next push would be the push and we’d meet our little one! It was such a surreal experience and when I was told to push again, I pushed hard and could feel Ryder’s body sliding out of mine and into the world. It was unbelievable.
We asked that Ryan be the one to announce our baby’s sex but when our midwife held him up, we both saw our wiggling naked baby together for the first time. “It’s a BOY!” I cried and then a rush of the most intense emotions took over and I started sobbing.
I looked up at Ryan and saw his eyes fill with tears as we looked back and forth from each other to our son.
He was finally here!
I would love to say that Ryder’s birth was all about Ryder and in many, many ways it was but it also felt like the very best possible ending to an intense journey of loss, hope, prayer, more loss, continued hope and prayer.
A huge part of me is so aware that Ryder wouldn’t be here if the two babies we lost were born. I thought of this the minute he was placed on my chest after he was born and I was overcome with emotion. All of the disbelief I felt during my pregnancy with Ryder and the guard I kept up for the past nine months finally came crashing down as I held our son. I soaked up every inch of his soft skin and chubby cheeks. I stroked his wet, dark hair and kissed his perfect pink lips. And I cried. Ryder is our miracle and he’s a miracle I dreamed about and longed for with every piece of my heart.
I still feel pain and I still feel grief when I think about our two babies in heaven. I know that this will never fully subside nor do I want it to go away because we love all of our babies and always, always will. But now, somehow, through all of the pain and all of the tears and all of the grief, the fear, the hopelessness and the overwhelming sadness, we have the most perfect proof of answered prayers.
A beautiful baby boy.
Ryder came into this world right on time. He was born right when he was supposed to be born. He’s our little miracle and I feel so overwhelmingly blessed and so lucky to have another son. A sweet boy I will love with every ounce of who I am.
He has made everything beautiful in its time. (Ecclesiastes 3:11)
Welcome to the world, Ryder Thomas. You are so, so loved.
![\"Quantcast\"/](\"//pixel.quantserve.com/pixel/p-1e3-7hOJ_U8Bg.gif\")
Wonderful birth story and man, I feel you with those contractions. With our second baby, the contractions were so intense and strong and back to back. I was a wreck in sweat and pain and that epidural couldn’t have come sooner. The nurses in the hall were crowding around the monitor of all the rooms’ contractions in disbelief that mine were so intense.
Hug that bundle of joy and let the magic begin in this new life of 4. Can’t wait to read as you go. XOXO
CONGRATULATIONS to your family and welcome to the world Ryder! Can’t wait to read about your journey as a mom of 2!
This is absolutely so beautiful! I had tears in my eyes the whole time and am so happy for you! Brought back the feelings 6 months ago when I delivered my twins and whisked them away to the NICU.
Enjoy your beautiful boys and family! I am so happy for you! So blessed ??
I just love the photos of you right after he was born–so much joy and emotion there. I had my son the day after you (also my second child), and I think the contractions ARE stronger the second and subsequent times you labor just because your body has done it all before.
So glad your boy is home in your arms now so your emotions and hormones can get a chance to rest and be at peace!
Julie and fam! Welcome sweet Ryder to the world! I felt so emotional reading this! I’m so happy for you! 🙂 And also glad he is finally home too!
So beautiful!
So so sweet! Such a blessing. And yes epidurals are awesome. I never hesitated to get the epidural both times. Like my friend said, “you don’t have to be a hero.” Lol. Seriously, I think God blessed women and men with the call to be anesthesiologists to bless his female children with epidurals. And their thankful baby daddy’s. ??
Reading this brought me to tears!!! Congratulations you guys! He’s beautiful and what an amazing story you guys have!
Ok, well, you just brought me to tears as I sit in my allergy shot office waiting and reading your story! Every birth story is so amazing and yours is no exception. Loved reading it-thank you for sharing and God bless that sweet baby and your family! Glad all is well.
What a beautiful post! Thanks for sharing the story with us. I’m so glad to hear Ryder is home now! Congratulations again – so, so happy for you and your family 🙂
Congratulations! I am so happy that Ryder is home with you guys. He is so handsome and really a spitting image of Chase.
My daughter was born on her due date too, so punctual haha.
PS – I actually love your “ugly pajamas” haha.
What a beautiful birth story and what a beautiful little boy! Thank you for sharing. We just found out that our IVF cycle worked and we are expecting our second double rainbow baby in Feb. Right now I’m in the thick of the first trimester with so much nausea and vomiting, but reading your story is reminding me of all the joy and the miracle to come, and that all of this sickness is more than worth it in the end. The sheer joy and happiness on your face in these pictures made me cry. I’m so happy for your family! Welcome sweet Ryder!!
Congratulations! So happy for you and your sweet family. My son (my second, also have a 2 year old daughter) was also born a week ago on 6/18! It’s a good day to be born. Enjoy all the baby snuggles at home 🙂
HUGE congratulations, Julie! I have a baby girl, born 3 weeks after Chase, and a baby boy, born about 3 months before Ryder. I’ve loved following your journey. And we have one other similarly — my epidural with my second baby didn’t work either! Except they never did get it working 🙁 It was so, so hard to endure that unbelievable pain when I had thought I was minutes away from relief. And I had back labor 🙁 Easily the worst pain I’ve ever felt. So I won’t mind if I don’t have to endure labor again any time soon 😉
Best of luck to you all as you go through the fourth trimester!
YAY!!! A huge congratulations!!
He is adorable.
I hope you are doing well!
PS-I was right like Chase. I knew you were having a boy once you announced your pregnancy.
Congratulations! He is so so beautiful, and you are such a strong mama <3
This brought me to tears! Congrats and welcome to this world Ryder! I just had my first on Memorial Day, so I still remember all the details! Mine came a few days late and ended up being induced since I wasn’t having contractions and it had been 15 hrs since my water broke and whoa boy did that get things going! The were strong and on top of each other and while I wanted to hold out as long as possible before getting an epidural, the dr couldn’t come soon enough! Something similar happened with my epidural as well and I could still feel all the pain so the dr had to come back and give me an extra dose through the IV and then I felt amazing! Although my labor went a lot slower than yours. The epidural kicked in around midnight and our little girl didn’t make her arrival until noon the next day! So we were able to get some rest for the night! Can’t wait to follow along on this new chapter of your life! Congrats again!
Congratulations Julie! I’ve been a reader for a long time, and I’ve been following along since you and Ryan and Sadie were still in Ocala.
Thank you for sharing this personal, wonderful story. I know how happy and proud you and your family are. I teared up a bit reading this. Enjoy your precious moments with Chase and Ryder together. I can’t wait to see them grow up together and become best friends and partners in crime.
PS: Tell Ryan I dig the shaggy hair!
Oh Julie! I’m just sitting here bawling after reading that lovely post. I’m 22 weeks pregnant with our second daughter right now, and I too experiences losses inbetween. Everything you said is exactly how I’ve been feeling (and in so many ways feel unable to express). Thank you for sharing your journey and openly talking about your thoughts and feelings. It’s been an immense comfort.
And congratulations on your perfect baby boy. Welcome to the world Ryder!!
What a beautiful post, Julie!! Congratulations!!!!!!
And I just wept. !
…and am curious about the Cheezits!?!??!??
What a beautiful retelling of Ryder’s birth story! I was definitely welled up in tears especially at the part when both you and Ryan cried.
Congratulations to your whole family. Ryder is a little miracle <3
I’ve been following along every minute here and on instagram, and so happy to hear the full story! Yayyyyy!! Congrats again on welcoming Ryder into the world! And lol that he’s a little brunette! So cute! And I mentioned this somewhere, but little Ryder looks kind of like your dad, Julie!
I’m in awe of (and “shooketh” with) the miracle of humans making little humans. It seems so extraordinary to me that our bodies can do all that. If that isn’t a miracle I don’t know what is. Congrats on being a family of 4 humans and 1 furbaby! Woo hoo!!
Also – the prayers worked!
What a wonderful story! Congratulations, again, to you and your family!!
So so beautiful!! Congratulations!! Thank you for sharing Ryder’s birth story with us. He is absolutely precious, and I’m so happy he’s able to be home with you all. Sending lots of love!
So happy for your family! Although I admit I read the first line too fast and it was “…sitting with a squishy newborn…” LOL. I’m so glad Ryder is doing so well and I wish you all the best of luck as a family of five (can’t forget Sadie!!).
What a wonderful story to read today! Congratulations!!
This was beautiful and he is perfect! So glad he is home and all is well now! Chase has his new bestie and bud for life!
This is just so SO wonderful. He is beautiful and your joy is contagious. Thank you for sharing! I wholeheartedly agree that epidurals are a gift from the Lord! ????❤️
Oh Julie, you’ve placed your heart in every one of these words, I feel so emotional reading it and just can’t even fathom the level of emotion you must have felt and continue to feel.
Manny many congrats again on the birth of your sweet boy!
Oh Julie, I’m so happy for you, for your family! And your little guy is home now, that is just the best news. As a loss mama too, I thought you wrote about everything so beautifully. Big big congratulations on your new little guy <3
Beautifully written! Now I can’t wait for the arrival of my precious baby in the short months to come! Thank you for being so open throughout your journey. I can tell you are a wonderful mother who loves her boys unconditionally. Awesome!
Congrats Julie! Such a beautiful baby boy. So glad you are all home together as a family 🙂
Congratulations on this sweet angel!!! I really love that name. It seems fitting!
Did you really only push two times?!?! That is crazy and wonderful at the same time. Also, who did you delegate to take pictures? I need to do a better job of this next time!
congratulations on your new addition to your family! he is so precious!
Love this story so much! I just had my third, and two of the boy names that we had were Ryder and Chase. I have a three year old boy and he LOVED the idea of having a baby brother from the Paw Patrol!! ?
I cried seeing *you* cry! Congrats, my friend! <3
Congratulations to your whole family! he looks so much like Chase in the first photo <3 I think it is insanely sweet that you guys included Chase's name for your baby!
Congrats on a second BOY! Your birth story is beautiful!
Such an incredible story! Congratulations again! Ryder, you are loved and were prayed for by so many, you are truly a blessing to your family!
What a beautiful story! Welcome to the world Ryder!! Congratulations Julie, Ryan, Chase and Sadie!!!
Oh gosh, now I’m crying at work!!! Julie you are one of the strongest mamas I know and I just love seeing the love and courage you have poured into every heartache and happy moment and now Ryder is here and I am so overcome with emotion having followed a similar journey of heartache..I can’t imagine that feeling of knowing your baby was here and then a BOY!!! Sending you all the love again on your very special delivery xo ( I have continued to stalk your instagram and sending you ALL THE LOVE! )
What a lovely (& appropriate!) Bible verse to end with. Congrats to u all! <3
Congrats, Julie!
Ryder is so beautiful and you are such a strong mama!
Chase is going to be a such a great big brother!!
xo xo
I have also read your blog on and off for years and just felt the need to check in. Congrats on your little miracle. I am so sorry you all had to experience such loss to get to where you are today. Best wishes!