73 questions Archives - Peanut Butter Fingers

Living a Life Fueled by Healthy Food and Fitness

Home
About
Recipe Index
Workouts
Pregnancy
Baby
Shop + Favs
- Blogging
- Books
Travel
- Orlando & Florida
- Blog Travel

73 Questions

May 13, 2019 by Julie 29 Comments

Hi friends! How are you today? I hope you had a good weekend! Ours was great — a combination of time with friends on Friday night and Saturday night and family time all day on Sunday as we celebrated Mother’s Day. I had every intention to share a weekend recap with you guys today but…

Filed Under: Random Musings Tagged With: 73 questions, survey

Hi! I’m Julie and I am a mom to two energetic boys and a personal trainer and blogger living in Charlotte, North Carolina. Welcome to my blog! Peanut Butter Fingers follows my life and my interests in food, fitness, family, travel and (mostly) healthy living.

NEVER MISS A POST!

Search

Instagram post 2159184040305302556_40044681

This kid. 😍 I swear he smiles with his whole body. 😄

Instagram post 2158933131486578315_40044681

Smothering this one in kisses since 2015 💋😘

Instagram post 2158255760358234334_40044681

Just in case you want to round out a weekend trip to the pumpkin patch with a festive (and easy!) pumpkin treat, I’m sharing a recipe for these Pumpkin Spice Rice Krispie Treats on the blog! 🎃 Made with only five ingredients (pumpkin, Rice Krispies, marshmallows, butter and pumpkin pie spice), they come together quickly and disappear almost as fast! 🤩 Find the recipe on the blog at bit.ly/pumpkinspicericekrispietreats and all of the ingredients for these yummy treats at @bjswholesale! #ad #pumpkinspice #ricekrispietreats #pumpkinrecipes #pumpkindesserts

Instagram post 2155511501699785324_40044681

Miscarriage is horrible and hard and painful and isolating and just when you think you’re “handling it” and “doing okay” something will smack you in the face and the grief will bubble up and you’ll find yourself breathless and crying in your car. Today’s tears began flowing as I read stories from mothers sharing their heartbreaking losses as they remember their precious babies during Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I’m so glad a day like this exists even if it is really, really sad. It helped me cry tears I clearly needed to cry. ⠀
⠀
As I read words filled with so much longing and grief, my heart began aching and it all came rushing back. ⠀
⠀
I thought about the first two babies we lost. I thought about the moments before my two previous D&Cs when I found myself sobbing because I knew I was moments away from never being physically close to my babies on earth again. I thought about our most recent loss. I thought about the moment I had to quickly stop playing “adventure hikers” with Chase because I felt cramping and a throbbing pain and I ended up passing our baby in the bathroom.⠀
⠀
To be honest, I feel like I’ve handled this loss with just about as much strength as I have inside of me but for some reason today I felt the grief from our losses compound. I found myself feeling so impossibly sad that I now have three babies in heaven that I cannot snuggle and love on and chase after every day. I felt the weight of everything and began spiraling down an unhelpful road of “whys,” “should bes” and “if onlys.” I felt my strength waver. ⠀
⠀
And then I had this thought: Maybe it’s okay NOT to be strong sometimes. Maybe it’s okay to be really sad and frustrated and angry and heartbroken. Maybe it’s okay to dissolve into tears the second I reach my car after keeping it together in public. Maybe it’s okay to feel really freaking thankful for my two wonderful healthy boys one moment and really freaking sad about the loss of three babies the next. ⠀
⠀
I know from my past experiences that this loss will make me softer but it will also make me stronger. I may not feel that strength today or tomorrow but it will come... eventually.

Beauty Favorites

Items I Swear By

Shop My Toddler Essentials

Shop My Baby Essentials

check out my ebook for meal planning help!

Quick Links

Favorite Posts
Recipe Index
Workouts
Fashion
Pregnancy/Baby
Family

Disclaimer

I am not a registered dietitian. My blog is simply a documentation of my life. The views I express are mine alone, based on my own experiences, and should not be taken as medical advice. I DO NOT post everything I eat. Though I am a certified personal trainer, the workouts I post may not be right for you. Please speak with a medical professional before making any changes to your current routine.

Affiliates

Please note that affiliate links may pop up on PBF from time to time. I greatly appreciate your support!

Blog Designed by SWOON CREATIVE

73 Questions

Quick Links

Recent Posts

Categories

Archives

Disclaimer

Affiliates