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Waiting

August 22, 2016 by Julie 266 Comments

I cannot begin this blog post in any other way than with a big thank you to all of you for your thoughtful comments and incredible support on my Friday blog post. Being a blogger is kind of weird sometimes. Despite never having met the vast majority of you, I feel very connected to many of you and your words truly do touch me, especially during hard times. Your comments were so incredibly kind, compassionate and supportive and they meant so much to me (and to my family who also read them). Your emails and Snapchat messages brought me to tears. Thank you.

We hoped to receive answers to some unknowns on Friday and unfortunately we are still waiting. While I am not ready to share a lot of details in this space just yet, I do want to fill you guys in a little bit because I am so grateful for your thoughts and prayers.

A little more than a week ago, during Chase’s one year pediatric visit, we had some precautionary blood work done. Though Chase’s pediatrician has always assured us that Chase looks great and is growing well “on his own little curve,” I’ve undoubtedly let myself stress out over his small size since the moment he was born. Chase’s doctor recommended a few additional blood tests during his visit to rule out any major issues.

Early last week, I spoke with a nurse who told me that one of Chase’s blood tests (ironically not related to his small size) came back a little concerning. I’ve felt stressed out and concerned over a myriad of things related to our baby boy since he was born but speaking with the nurse about a concerning blood test was the first time I felt truly scared.

I couldn’t stop the tears and within an hour, we were back at the pediatrician’s office on Tuesday to meet with our doctor and undergo some follow up blood tests.

And that is where we are right now. Waiting.

Waiting and praying and believing in the good.

Friday was a tough day because I was told that we’d likely receive the results from Chase’s follow up blood work “by Friday at the latest.” I obsessively checked my phone and eventually, at 4 p.m., I spoke with a nurse who told me she reached out to the lab who explained that one of Chase’s tests was more involved and results would likely not be available until Monday or Tuesday. While I was disappointed to hear this, I also felt myself exhale as I realized I let myself get in my head and worry about the reasons why it was taking so long to get Chase’s results back.

The waiting is hard. The unknown is harder. But I know in my heart we are waiting on GOOD news. I believe this with all that I am. When I picture the phone call from our pediatrician’s office, I imagine myself receiving only good news.

I am taking my cues from Chase. He is strong, energetic, joyful and happy and I should be too. I look at my baby boy and see what I already know in my heart is true: He is fine. He will be fine.

I just want those darn blood tests to confirm it.

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Filed Under: Motherhood Tagged With: baby, Chase

About Julie

My name is Julie and I am a full-time blogger, new mama, fitness enthusiast (certified personal trainer and group exercise instructor) and food fanatic (mostly healthy... but also not-so-healthy) living in North Carolina with my husband, dog and baby boy. Thank you for visiting Peanut Butter Fingers! I hope you enjoy little glimpses into my life and have fun trying the sweaty workouts I frequently share and making some of my favorite recipes along the way!

« Things I’m Loving Friday #148
Joy, Relief and Gratitude »

Comments

  1. Megan says

    August 23, 2016 at 9:12 am

    Though I don’t know you personally, I certainly know you’re anxiety! I am 5 months pregnant with our first and we already know our little one will have some health and learning disabilities, including heart surgery in his/her first 6 months. It so SO so scary to have such a huge unknown but your sweet Chase will be OK no matter the test results. Take everything one day at a time – you can do this! Lots of love and prayers headed your way!

    Reply
  2. Brittany says

    August 23, 2016 at 9:24 am

    I’ve been praying for you, Chase and Ryan while sending all the positive, reassuring vibes I can. Hopefully the wait will be over soon and all will be well. xoxo <3 <3

    Reply
  3. Lindsey says

    August 23, 2016 at 9:49 am

    Thinking about you and your little fam, Julie! Hope you get good news!

    Reply
  4. Meghan says

    August 23, 2016 at 9:55 am

    Sending prayers and good vibes your way!! The waiting period is the hardest, so glad Chase is still his happy little self!!

    Reply
  5. Becki says

    August 23, 2016 at 10:19 am

    Massive hugs, all will be well!

    Reply
  6. Laura says

    August 23, 2016 at 10:22 am

    Saying prayers for all of you.

    Reply
  7. Kate says

    August 23, 2016 at 10:36 am

    Prayers for you, Ryan, and sweet Chase!

    <3

    Reply
  8. Jen says

    August 23, 2016 at 10:43 am

    I just wanted to add my good wishes for you and your family. Thinking of you guys and hoping for the best!

    Reply
  9. Emily says

    August 24, 2016 at 11:23 am

    So SO thankful that the reports are good Julie! <3

    Reply
  10. Lainey Graham says

    August 25, 2016 at 9:21 pm

    Hi Julie,

    I was an ADPi sorority sister of Leslie’s and am a Jax native. I LOVE your blog and your positive attitude about live is inspiring! Always love seeing her posts and yours about Chase – he is adorable.

    As someone who had bloodwork done on a Thursday and was told the same thing, I feel for you as waiting is one of the most trying things that you live through. Please know I am praying for your family and for Chase. 🙂 Stay strong

    Reply
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Hi! I’m Julie and I am a mom to two energetic boys and a personal trainer and blogger living in Charlotte, North Carolina. Welcome to my blog! Peanut Butter Fingers follows my life and my interests in food, fitness, family, travel and (mostly) healthy living.
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Instagram post 2191873802065169562_40044681 Slow Cooker Holiday Mulled Wine: The simple, low-maintenance, crowd-pleasing holiday beverage you've been looking for to make for your next holiday party! 🍷✨ This is my go-to recipe because it's warm and comforting and just sweet and cinnamon-y enough to feel like a festive holiday drink. ⁠⠀
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Here are the steps:⁠⠀
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Throw everything into a slow cooker⁠⠀
Allow mulled wine to warm up on “low” for an hour⁠⠀
Reduce to “warm” and top with a sprinkle of thinly-sliced oranges and cranberries⁠⠀
Walk away and enjoy your party⁠⠀
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And the ingredient list is simple, too! Find the full recipe on the blog here: https://www.pbfingers.com/slow-cooker-holiday-mulled-wine/⁠⠀
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Oh and please do not feel the need to splurge on an expensive red wine for this recipe! I once had a sommelier friend of mine tell me that when it comes to making mulled wine, simply choose a red wine you like to drink. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy but it simply has to appeal to you without all of the added ingredients that morph it into a deliciously sweet holiday favorite. For this batch, I made the Slow Cooker Holiday Mulled Wine with a $6.99 bottle of Wellsley Farms’ Cabernet Sauvignon from @bjswholesale. Once you pour it into the slow cooker and fancy it up with thinly-sliced oranges 🍊 and pops of cranberry, no one will know you used a bottle of wine that cost less than $7 in the recipe anyway! Enjoy!!! #ad #mulledwine #holidaydrinks #holidayrecipes #slowcooker
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