Since I don’t feel like I’ve really had a chance to chat with you guys since Monday, I wanted to stop by today to share a quick glimpse into our Wednesday. It wasn’t anything special but sometimes it’s the day-to-day normal life stuff I find myself drawn to writing and reading about most.
Morning
My morning began like most mornings do around here with a quick and easy breakfast that I ate while working my way through my devotionals. I made myself a bowl of triple chocolate protein oatmeal (served in a glass storage container because all of our bowls were in the dishwasher) and loved every chocolaty bite!
I’ve had a few people ask about the devotionals I’m doing right now and I’m actually making my way through two. The Women’s Devotional Guide to the Bible is the one I’m loosely following that actually gets me reading my Bible. (I have the Life Application Bible which is FABULOUS for anyone who needs serious help deciphering scripture… ME!) When I say I’m loosely following the women’s devotional, I mean it. The devotional is quite intense and I use it more or less as a reading plan that I break up over the course of a week. Trusting God Day by Day is a much faster, easier devotional featuring a new scripture everyday, followed by a few paragraphs from Joyce Meyer breaking the scripture down, applying it to real life and diving into it a little deeper.
Once I wrapped up my devotional, said goodbye to Ryan and got about 30 minutes of work done, Chase was up for the day and ready for mom’s attention. When I heard him making noise on the monitor, I went into overdrive and packed his lunch for preschool but left half of his peanut butter and jelly sandwich on the counter in plain view. You can probably guess what instantly became his breakfast when he caught sight of the sandwich…
Plus some sliced strawberries and blackberries on the side!
I wanted to report back here on some of the struggles we’ve had related to battling Chase’s strong will and rapidly-increasing preferences and opinions that center around everything from getting dressed and going to bed to leaving the house, diaper change protests and more. For a solid month or so now, I’ve felt like I’ve been going into battle with a two-year-old multiple times a day for one reason or another. Whether it’s forcing Chase to wear anything other than his reindeer footie pajamas (the HORROR) or telling him we have to leave the house when he’s 100 percent enamored with his trains, I’ve felt completely exhausted by the end of the day multiple days a week. Fortunately, I’m slooowly beginning to see some light at the end of the tunnel (sometimes) and I owe a lot of it to DISTRACTIONS.
Chase’s curiosity is at an all-time high and he feeds off my moods and my excitement so I’ve been trying my best to approach certain situations that often escalate into battles with a distraction on hand and ridiculous mom enthusiasm. Here are a few examples:
- Diaper Change Battles: I come equipped with something new to show Chase to distract him enough to avoid a kick and wiggle-filled diaper change. These “new” things range from one of mom’s lockets/bracelets, Chase’s forehead thermometer, a toy he hasn’t seen in ages, dad’s electric toothbrush, etc. Nothing special, just something different that instantly piques his interest.
- Car Seat Battles: UGH. These are HORRIBLE mainly because Chase somehow turns into a mini-Hulk when he fights his car seat and I can feel my adrenaline rise and my temper begin to flare as he thrusts his hips up and does everything he can to resist the buckle. My current solution: Orange Monster! I don’t know where this came from, but Chase loves oranges, so I’ve been slicing up an orange in a small bowl to give to him during car rides. We hype up the orange before loading him into the car and say Chase is the Orange Monster. We make ridiculous growling noises and the whole nine yards. Lord help me if we run out of oranges one morning!
- Bed Time Battles: Chase was often morphing into a wild man before bed and I think a lot of this had to do with the fact that we were skipping bath time some nights since we spent so many days inside when the weather turned cold and he wasn’t really dirty at the end of the day. Big mistake! Bath time helps him unwind and CHILL OUT and we try to make this the last thing we do before pajamas, stories, prayers and bed. No more running around and playing on his PlasmaCar five minutes before bed! He was waaay too hyped up to settle down and meltdowns occurred on the reg.
- Getting Out of the House Battles: When we need to leave the house and Chase is protesting, giving him a “job” seems to really help get him out the door. He’s all about setting our house alarm, pressing the button to open the garage door, giving Sadie a treat, etc. Anything to distract him and make him feel like we need his help to get out the door often serves as a good motivator for him to put his toys down and get a move on!
Of course these don’t work like a charm every time, but they are helping a bit so I wanted to pass them on just in case any of you out there are in the phase of toddler meltdowns, too! And if you guys have any tips for handling toddler meltdowns, I’m all ears!
Chase and I managed to get out the door without too much of a struggle (thank you, Orange Monster!) and made it to preschool on time. He ran into his classroom without so much as a “See ya, Mom” and I headed off to Burn Boot Camp for a workout with my friend Laura.
We went through a leg workout that ended up being a serious booty burner!
My glutes were on fie-ah after that one!
After the gym, I rushed home, ate an RXBar and went into blogger mode, quickly assembling everything for a mini food photo shoot for a crock pot recipe I hope to share on the blog next week. I made the recipe earlier in the week, so it just needed to be photographed which made the process much faster than usual. Phew!
(Still 100 percent loving my $15 food photo backdrops from Esty! I’m using the 2ft x 2ft size in the above pic.)
After snapping a ridiculous number of pictures, I sat down at the computer to do some photo editing and responded to a few emails before I couldn’t ignore my body’s need for a shower any longer. I quickly showered, worked on the computer for a little longer and then made myself a smoothie that looked like a gray cloud of despair.
(In my smoothie: Almond milk, spinach, peanut butter, chocolate protein powder, cocoa powder, chia seeds, frozen banana and wild blueberries.)
Afternoon
With smoothie in hand, I headed off to a quick 10-minute eyebrow appointment before it was time to pick Chase up from preschool.
A little over a month ago, I got my eyebrows done for the very first time in my entire life and I’m SOLD. I hope to keep up with them as much as possible and notice a huge difference not only from the waxing/shaping but from the tint! The tint has been KEY for me as a natural blonde. I was always so terrified to do anything to my brows because they’re so light and I worried that waxing them would make them disappear but the tint has been a game-changer.
Here’s a before/after from yesterday’s appointment:
I’m far from having enviable eyebrows but I think it’s an improvement! (Note: Both the before and after are photographed without any eyebrow makeup/fillers.)
I picked up from Chase immediately following my appointment and we headed home for an early afternoon snack, playtime at his train table and a reading of Green Eggs and Ham before nap.
And yes, we are now the family who has a GIANT giraffe and a GIANT train table in their living room.
Thankfully Chase went down semi-easily and I was able to make myself lunch (reheated crock pot leftovers) and knock out some additional work for about 90 minutes before he was up again.
Once Chase was up, we spent the rest of the afternoon at home, making cupcakes for a birthday party play date we have on the agenda this afternoon, playing and doing some household chores in preparation for my father-in-law’s visit later today. Ryan arrived home from work right in time for us to pile into his car and head out to an event we had at our church in the early evening.
Evening
The event included dinner (totally forgot about that one when I made this week’s meal plan) so we filled up on baked ziti while we learned about child dedication.
When we arrived back home, we did an express version of Chase’s bath before settling him in his crib. Ryan and I climbed into bed a little after 9 p.m. and then I read my face off because I absolutely could not put Final Girls down.
After I mentioned feeling less-than-enthused about the previous book I read on the blog, both Courtney and Heather highly recommended Final Girls to me, saying they both read it in only two days because it was so suspenseful. Well, apparently this book has a two-day reading window because after beginning it on Tuesday night, I ended up reading for waaay too long last and also finished it in two days. Talk about a page-turner! I’ll share more about it in tomorrow’s Things I’m Loving Friday post, but it was a GOOD one.
Now I’m off to the gym to squeeze in a quick workout before welcoming my father-in-law in town today! Hope you guys all have a great Thursday!
![\"Quantcast\"/](\"//pixel.quantserve.com/pixel/p-1e3-7hOJ_U8Bg.gif\")
I’m glad you found a book you’ve been enjoying more and that you’ve had better luck getting Chase out of the house!
I’ve been trying to search old posts but I’m having a hard time finding if you’ve mad one with your gym bag essentials?
I actually don’t think I have done a post like that! Good idea for the future. Thanks for the suggestion, Brittany!
Thank you for sharing the devotionals! I am just completing one with my husband and was on the search for a new one and can’t wait to check out the two that you recommended!
Of course!! Let me know if you need more info/have any specific questions! 🙂 What devotional are you and your husband finishing up? I’d love to do one with Ryan!
Here is a link: https://shop.unveiledwife.com/products/husband-and-wife-after-god-devotional-bundle it was a very easy going devotional, that fit right in with our busy schedule! The woman who wrote the book also has an awesome blog!
My toddler now hates all PJs, I mean what! We were at Aldi Monday and they had a pair that I asked him if he would wear and he said yes, so those have been our go to lately. Sometimes he hates clothes but if i pick two pairs of pants/shirts out I make him choose SOMETIMES that helps. We went outside to play in the snow on MOnday and when I made him come in you would have thought I cut off his arm. The tears were unbelievably! The next day I bribed him with a cookie to come in, NOT my best mom moment ha. These toddlers are crazy it was like one day he became a monster!
ooooh i am not above bribery! haha! i’ve used candy as a bribe for sure! and yesssss to coming in from outside — COMPLETE meltdown territory. i definitely do NOT have a solution for that one at all yet. it’s killer.
also, getting chase dressed is one of the low points of our day and it’s also one of the FIRST moments of our day so it can also leave me feeling super defeated first thing in the morning. if i can strip him out of his pajamas in his crib, that tends to help, but it’s rough right now!
Stay strong mama! *insert hunger games symbol* haha
Ha, my husband and I passed in the hallway this morning after an extremely rough night/morning with our two kids. We made that symbol and laughed so hard. 🙂
LOLLLL! That is amazing! Sometimes humor is the only way to get through!
I’m glad you’ve found some ways to try and mitigate toddler battles! Kids are cute until they don’t want to do something and it’s shocking how much anger/fight they have in them about it. I’ve been looking for a good thriller and Final Girls sounds perfect. I’m adding it to my list now. Have a great day Julie 🙂 I hope your father-in-law has safe travels.
seriously! the passion chase has for the word “NO!” is somethin’ fierce. 🙂 and you will LOVE final girls… just be prepared to get completely sucked in!
I am putting that book on my list! Love the creepy ones..I know I’m crazy.
And your eyebrows look amazing! I haven’t had mine done in ages!
it is SO creepy. i was thankfully able to sleep pretty well once i finished it, but the first night when i was only halfway through i was tossing and turning for so long because i couldn’t get it out of my head. hope you like it!
Toddler tantrums are the worst!! These are some good ideas, thanks for sharing!
I’ve found my daughter needs warnings that transitions are coming….so I try to give her a heads up at intervals a few minutes before diaper changes or we’re leaving. I’ve also found it effective to have her say say “bye” to her toys – it’s silly but it works. Choices are good, too – “Do you want the whale diaper or the bubble one?”, “Which toy do you want in the car?” Things like that – similar to the tasks idea, I think choices help her feel in control.
And I always try to remember tantrums are usually because she is frustrated or feels out of control and is trying to communicate something but maybe isn’t sure how yet. Sometimes this helps me control my reaction (sometimes not though, haha).
great ideas!!! chase is just now beginning to understand the concept of time, so saying “you can play with x, y, z for five more minutes and then it’s nap time” does seem to help with the transition a bit.
Yes!!! We did “say goodbye to the toys” with both of our kids. I remember being at the doc’s for a check-up with our now five year old, and he was so enamoured with all the toys, I thought it might be a rough departure, but he happily said goodbye to like, twenty toys, and was happy to go. Our kids always did better with ample warning (ten minutes…five minutes…one minute) and they both still appreciate a long heads up on fun things like coming in from the snow, getting out of the bath/shower, etc. I’ve also found that laying out clothes (with their help) the night before can help spur them to get dressed. And I’ve come to terms with letting them wear whatever they want, wherever they want, which means sometimes I go for groceries with a fully outfitted Ninja Turtle by my side 😉
great ideas!
Have you read Janet Lansbury’s writing/blog? I find her so helpful with understanding and responding to my almost 3 year old. It’s no fun when you start dreading certain activities b/c you expect a battle, and the negative expectation can start to feed into them too, I think. Ugh.
I haven’t but appreciate the recommendation. And YES to dreading certain activities! It’s tough when you find yourself approaching them with negativity because you expect a disaster to unfold!
Ditto Janet Lansbury!
I second Janet Lansbury! She has been soooo helpful for me in reframing toddler tantrums as emotions they need to let out and my role is to remain the calm leader for them…I have twin boys who are 2.5 and we just hit the tantrums too! It’s rough
Thanks for the tips on toddler tantrums. We do a lot of the same things for my 20 month old. Like another comment said we do “bye” to toys, but also to the house every morning as we head out the door. It is part of the routine of leaving and seems to help (most of time time). Honestly, the tantrums for diaper changes and getting into the car seat are the worst for me. Toddlers can make it extremely difficult. This morning I had to do a diaper change with her standing because she would not calm down. We do the treat for the car as well and it mostly works. We have also switched out toys she can take in the car or let her pick one stuffed animal for taking in the car.
You always give such good book recommendations! I recently started a book club with my girlfriends and I am adding this one to the list 🙂
Hope you guys like it! I was hooked from the first page!
I’ve read your blog every day for five years, and I absolutely LOVE these kinds of day in the life blog posts. My daughter is 2, so I can relate to the toddler tantrums-she doesn’t resist her car seat buckle often, but it sure does get my heart rate up when she does! She has screamed through nearly every diaper change since she was born, though. I think she is just so independent that she has a hard time letting me do something for her. I’ve noticed a huge improvement since I started letting her hand me wipes ?
Your eyebrows look fantastic! I over-plucked my brows in high school and college, even though my mom warned me against that, and now they are very thin, so I use a brow pencil to fill them in. But this post is making me strongly considering trying a tint. Do you go to a specific brow salon for that? Or is that something your hairdresser does?
Thank you! The tint was HUGE for me because I was so scared about waxing them and being left with nothing. I went to a brow/waxing-specific place (called Brow Lounge) to have it done but did some research on Yelp for reviews/pics before taking the plunge.
My 2 year old often struggles with transitions…moving from playing go head up to bath,leaving the house, etc. We have started using timers…we will tell her “Mommy’s setting a timer for 3 minutes, and when the timer goes off, it is time to go upstairs and take a bath. What do we do when the timer goes off?” And she almost always repeats back what we said. When the timer goes off, she is quick to say “Timer! Upstairs” and for some reason listens to the timer wayyy better than us!
LOVE this! And that doesn’t surprise me at all about the timer working better than mom saying something! And getting your daughter involved in remembering what the next step after the timer is would totally be something that would excite Chase. Totally using this!
I have a toddler boy just a few months younger than Chase. Have you read Happiest Toddler on the Block? I like to implement some of those ideas to avoid/minimize battles! Maybe it will help. 🙂
You described my life exactly. Everything is a fight with my (almost) two year old … the choice thing works for me 50% of the time. Eg if I say would you like to wear your purple sweater or your orange sweater? And she gets to choose …. As opposed to “get dressed and put this damn sweater on now!” (Which is what I’m thinking in my head …) lol. You’re not alone!!
Oh and huggies little movers slip on diapers … changed my life! Every diaper change is done standing and she tolerates that so much better than having to lay down (except the messy ones …that’s another story)
Our little girl is a bit older than Chase and similarly strong-willed. At one of the parenting workshops at her school, the administrators recommended a book on setting limits (i.e. dealing with the battles without giving in or going crazy). It’s called No Bad Kids by Janet Lansbury. It has been hugely helpful for us AND is a quick read… she also has an excellent blog.
You are not alone in the toddler battles. Holy tantrums over here. I feel like my 2 year old daughter is sometimes a 12 year old teenager. What you said about bath time is often crucial for us! We usually do a bath every other day, but we’ve DEFINITELY noticed that she calms down and goes to bed much easier after a long warm bath! It just soothes her and like you said, makes her chill out!
Thank you for sharing which devotional you are reading! I was wondering about that, since I started one but I’m not too crazy about it. I’m glad you found a book that keeps you interested! I am going to have to read that next! I hear you on the toddler battles; I’ve witnessed it many many times with my nephews. Enzo actually has very similar meltdowns. You are totally not alone with these battles!! Xoxo
My now almost 4yo did the same thing around Chase’s age. What made it super awesome was that I was breastfeeding my second (was around 6 months) and trying to get to work by 8am. I was seriously late for work for at least 6 months.
I found the transitioning from playing to doing anything else was hard. We did have some success giving him warnings so that he knew what was coming. “5 minutes till we have to leave” kind of deal. It definitely feels like nagging, but they like to know what’s coming. I also tried to tell him the night before what we were doing the next day so he was, in theory anyway, prepared. It does get easier. I’d say for like 6 months he was really bad, but once he rounded 3 he co-operated, sometimes. I’m just now getting to work on time regularly, lol. Of course now #2 is getting ready to turn 2 in April. I can only say that at least I’ll have one to provide a good example and that I’m not breastfeeding a third.
Perhaps you already have this mantra, but if not, it may at least give you that extra little bit of energy when a toddler battle is really draining you. These traits will serve him well when he is an adult. These traits will serve him well as an adult. You are helping a strong, determined, and persistent child grow into an adult who can stand up for what he believes in, can work hard through challenging times, and can stay focused on goals.
I was a toddler FULL of battles — as in by ~18 months old I held green beans in my mouth for 30 minutes because I didn’t want to eat them and my mom made me take one bite. I had green juice dripping down my chin before she ‘lost’ the battle and let me spit them out. (My mom says she quickly learned to choose her battles wisely.) The persistence, determination, and strength of conviction that makes no sense when it comes to sitting in a car seat (or whatever the battle may be) has served me enormously well in my adult life — both in personal and professional avenues. And I think the reminder can be helpful at riding out the tide, as well as focusing on cultivating the traits into a positive future. Best of luck!
I only have a one year old, so I’m not much help on the toddler tantrums yet, but have you heard of the instagram account “simplyonpurpose”? They are in the middle of a “no yell” challenge and sometimes I get the best advice from other mom’s in the comments. She is currently dealing with how to handle your frustrations with your child and stepping back. But she covers all sorts of topics in a way that makes it seem totally manageable for you to try..
Hi Julie! I’m flying tomorrow and need a good book to get me through. How were you able to download? It says it won’t be released until the 23rd when I clicked the link to amazon.
so strange! it let me download it to my kindle immediately. it was released in 2017, so it should be available! i’m not sure why it is not working for you but I’m sorry for the headache!
It works now! So weird… thanks for the response and sorry to have bothered you. Hope you and fam have a great Thursday 🙂
I have an 8 month old and work full time with a long commute. So… I am just beat some days.
Sometimes I count down the minutes until it is bedtime. And it makes me feel horrible. But some days I am exhausted and my patience is so so thin. Tuesday, I sucked as a parent…. I had a short temper, sped up bedtime routine, not engaging. I still feel bad about it but I was just done for the day. But yesterday, I dominated the parenting thing. Sang songs, was in a good mood for baby, had fun at dinner time.
I am finally learning that you win some, you lose some. Glad I am not alone!
YES. That is parenting in a nutshell. Some days I am just daydreaming about the moment I can crawl into bed with my book at the end of the day and others are just the most amazing days. It’s such a rollercoaster but so helpful to know so many of us are riding that SAME rollercoaster full of tons of challenges and joy together!
I’ve been looking for a new book, so I just downloaded Final Girls! Can’t wait to dive in. I love those type of books. Thanks for the reco! Good luck with Chase 🙂 Not a mom, so no motherly advice except hang in there! I love the tactics though 🙂
How do you like your Kindle vs print books? I’m considering getting one, but I’m on the fence. I stare at a computer screen all day at work and don’t want to feel like I’m on screentime overload. Does it feel like just another screen/device, or do you not even notice that you’re not holding a “real” book in your hand? Thanks for any thoughts on this! (And I am adding this book to my list. Thanks for the recommendation.)
I resisted the Kindle BIG TIME. I honestly only began using it because my mom gave me her old one and I was desperate to read for distraction purposes after my first miscarriage and devoured a ton of books back-to-back so it helped me feel like I could download a book to begin reading in the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep. Now the primary reason I love it is because there’s a backlighting setting so I read with a black background and white text which is WONDERFUL for nighttime reading. It’s more soothing, easier on the eyes and great for the nights when I find myself reading for much longer than Ryan. I love my Kindle SO much and I truly never thought I would.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who is hesitant to the idea of Kindles at first! I think you’ve persuaded me give it a try. Thank you!
I was resistant to Kindles as well!! I love the feel of a real book..but I also inherited one & it has worked perfectly for nighttime reading. There is no more battle with my husband over the lights being on while he’s trying to sleep! & it’s great for travel….I love reading when I travel & have been on a few trips where I finished a book or two & didn’t bring a backup, which made me super sad! I’m still resistant to purchasing e-books though, so I just take many out from my local library on the Overdrive app.
Hi Julie – You may already be doing it, but one thing that may help with transitions (like leaving the house) is giving a 5 minute (or whatever) warning. Amazon has some cool timers you or he could flip to count down. Miracle Cube Timers
In a way it’s refreshing to see another Mom battle with her two year old – my son (now three) was the same way, some days seemed impossible! My husband was convinced only our son acted like this and there was something wrong with him. “uh no honey, its called toddlerhood” haha. He can still be stubborn as heck some days and sometimes I feel like I’d make a really great hostage negotiator. But he’s out grown some of the things Chase is doing now and he’s grown into new things. All things are temporary I keep telling myself! I’m always looking for the flowers among the weeds! Hang in there! #mommysolidarity
ahhh, the toddler battles! i have a 21 month old and we actually phrase everything mostly as “questions” so it all seems like “her idea” – lol. so for example, the last 2 mornings right when she woke up, i ask her “can we change your diaper?” she said “no” and started to get upset. And if i would have put her on the changing table at that very second, she would have gone into hysterics. so i walked out of the room with her, and just after a couple minutes, ask her again (and while she might not say YES) lol, if she doesn’t say no, she’s usually game. This also kinda works for us in getting her out of the house – asking if she wants to see the birds outside and go in the car. And even if she seems like she doesn’t want to at first, she usually comes around and thinks its a great idea within a couple of minutes. We do this for changing diapers, going outside, going to bed, taking a bath…really anything. I think it makes her feel like she is making the decisions and we are listening to her. That has kinda worked for us in preventing epic tantrums/meltdowns – but in reality, i know she totally owns us and we have no idea what we are doing 😉
Thank you for sharing your toddler struggles and tips Julie! Oh those little toddler brains…My 2yo daughter will pretty much only wear clothes with kitty cats on them at this point lol. If i see a shirt or PJ’s with kitties, I buy it (thankfully they make a lot). That’s the only way I can be sure she will get dressed without a fight. Also, she hates being dirty (boys probably are not like this haha), so in the mornings I tell her we need to get her dirty clothes off and put on clean clothes, which helps too.
Also, as someone suggested earlier, I give a few minutes warning before a transition (outside to inside, turning off cartoons, etc.) but I actually set the timer on my phone so she can hear when the time is up. For whatever reason, she responds to that most of the time.
As for the diaper changes, we use pull-ups and diapers that have animals on them, so I try to make it fun. We make the noises the animal makes and talk about what the animal does, etc. AND I give her a choice of which animal she wants to put on. Offering a choice between two things helps tremendously in all situations. They just want a little control!
These are such great ideas for dealing with a strong-willed toddler! I’m going to keep this in mind for when Alice hits that point!
I just finished The Final girls last week! So good! I have the same battles wit my 18 mo old but started 3 months or so ago as far as the car seat and diaper changes! I pray it doesn’t last until 2.5 years old! Good luck! As miserable as it is and sometimes I cry, I guess we are lucky to be home with our boys to share those battles with because they will be off to college before we know it!
Chase is adorable. Sending encouragement for the hard calling of being a mama!
I have a 2.5 year old, so I totally feel ya on the toddler battles. On the clothing front, we’ve started picking out her clothes the night before. And when it comes to picking out clothes, if she’s being a pill, I either give her choices or I tell her if she doesn’t pick something out, I will pick it out for her. Those strategies have been working so far. (Along with bribery as a last resort)
We had a phase with my stepson ( he is 3 now) where he battled getting into the car seat. We found if we had a snack or one of his favorite toys, that always seemed to help…or at least make it a little easier! I love the orange monster idea!
I’m not a parent, but I’m a teacher & an aunt, so I’ve had my fair share of battles & the struggle is soooo totally real with 2-3 year olds! It sounds like many of your strategies are definitely working, especially the bath. My MIL swears that when my husband & his brother were kids, the bath would calm them down. Their nighttime routine would be a bath, change into jammies, grab a quick snack, brush teeth, & read a book. Even turning the lights down low too, keeping the tv off, etc, can signal the body that it’s time to unwind. While toddlers seem super human at times, lol, think about what we need as adults..a bath makes us relax immediately & we have a hard time shutting off after running around like crazy!
I’d also recommend a timer…I use this often in my classroom. You can use your phone on & set it for 5 minutes or so, then give another warning at 1 minute!
I definitely recommend reading the book “Raising the Spirited Child”. It is such a great resource for helping me understand my 3 year old. The go over every type of personality type and help break down and open your eyes to what your kid is trying to communicate. Whether he needs a countdown for transitioning from leaving his trains to going outside, to maybe a picture schedule to help.him get ready for bed and even how to tell when they’re becoming over stimulated at the store or just out and about. It’s been a great help for us!
I’ll echo the recommendations for Janet Lansbury- she has been incredibly helpful for us too! My kiddo is about 2.5, and she started in preschool this fall, and i read that it can be really overwhelming for 2 year olds to be in preschool, even if they love going and are thriving. She was really resisting everything, so I basically followed her lead and things have gotten so much better. She is only in preschool 3 mornings a week, and she has to go to that (and get dressed, etc.), but the other days we are home and just do free play inside and outside. I let her wear her jammies if she wants too. We still have a routine and set meal/snack/nap times but otherwise she gets to play how she wants. It was hard for me to pull us out of music and soccer class, and I’ve been running most errands at night, or on the weekends, but she is a much happier kid overall. If we do have to leave the house to do something, she is much less resistant. I think sometimes we (definitely me!) overschedule kids, and for us, cutting way back made a huge difference. She’s still only 2 years old! Just my two cents!
Also I’ll add that I’m a stay at home mom too, so it’s a total privilege to be able to do this!
Ugh I totally hear you. I wish I could say three is better, but my son has still been challenging. Honestly, I feel like it got bad right around 2.5, and my son is ALMOST 3.5, so I hope and ? that we are about to turn a corner. And everyone tells me 4 is the magic number and literally overnight they are back to being little angels. Time will tell I guess…..I sometimes get so frustrated since I work and when I am home, I hate having to spend so much time disciplining. Parenting is so hard sometimes! It sounds like you have some great strategies in place though. I think a lot of it is just riding out the phase.
On a totally different note, so happy that you liked Final Girls! It seemed like it was right up your alley. Try Beartown if you want an excellent, thought-provoking read.
Have a great night, Julie!
My daughter is older now (8yrs) but I feel like I still have some of these battles! I’ve just started reading a book called Breathe Mamma Breathe. It focuses on some meditation and what she calls “mindful breaks” to help you during trying times especially with children. I’m only halfway but I already see my interactions shifting with my family.
I haven’t read through the other comments so sorry if these ideas have already been mentioned. I work with children and on top of what you’ve already doing these things are helpful..
– to help with transitions we use visual timers and lots of prompting
– give the child 2 or 3 choices for things like what outfit to wear, what they want to drink, what book to read, etc. Kids never get the opportunity to be in charge and they crave that sometimes. This allows them the ability to have some control
-he may like a visual schedule that has pictures of things like get dressed, bath, clean up toys, etc. Kids like seeing what is next in their routine and visually seeing their completed tasks. You can make your own or I’ve seen cute ones on etsy.
Good luck, I have a toddler of my own so I know exactly what you’re going through. 🙂
Hi Julie and happy new year to you and the family. I have two teenage boys and your comments above made me remember the things I now laugh about but didn’t at the time.
Yes, these toddlers ARE strong willed (and our first one was way way more than our second at that age, though now have flip flopped). The car seat hip thrust? oh my, you have me giggling with memories of that. Diaper change battles? Oy! I developed a lot of leg strength throwing it over my boy to keep him down. Clothing? Sheets? Food? It’s just getting started but keep patience, know it’s NORMAL developmental stuff, and it’s also NORMAL to get frustrated as heck and lose it.
No magic buttons to cure it, but I love your creative workarounds. Just know that like everything, those tricks will have to change as the kid changes, but remember, it will end at some point. Heck, toilet training may be around the corner if he hates the diaper changes that much. Or let him stew in it. Tell him (and believe me, he understands everything) that without cooperation, he will have to stay dirty. Good luck and let us know how it goes.
We’ve been in the toddler battle stage too for quite awhile now. My son just had a great stint where he wasn’t too terrible, but he’s back to being difficult again. He also stopped sleeping through the night (like 9 months ago) so exhaustion makes me a smidge less patient with his antics! Thing that seem to help are telling him in the morning what our plans are for the day (he’s only 2.5 but somehow this helps!), giving him two shirt and two pant options and letting him choose, and letting him pick a toy. A lot of days though I just end up wrestling with him! Toddlers are crazy and exhausting, but it’s all just a part of them learning how to navigate this world.
One trick that has been very effective for us is when we leave a place that he doesn’t want to leave, we talk about whether we want to come back another day. Focusing on being able to come back another day helps him be ok with leaving. Sometimes we just talk about it, sometimes we read a sign about when they will be open, sometimes we ask whoever is in charge (other parents, someone that works there, etc) if we can come back another day. Then I try to follow up and take him back sometime in the near future if I can but he usually forgets about it 🙂 it’s amazimg now he immediately bypasses the meltdown and starts asking anyone who will listen if he can come back another day!
Ahh, I remember when my little boy was in a “no” phase and one tip from a friend worked so well for us so I’ll pass it along. She said that kids thrive off schedules and routines and I’ve found that to be true with my kids and they are 10 now. She said to give them a head’s up before the next activity. For instance, “in 5 min, we’re going to…” You can also utilize timers, etc. to help with that. I find that mine just sometimes need a little time to stop what they’re doing. It’s like when someone expects us to stop what we’re doing exactly when they need it (hard for me to stop reading a book, at an exact moment). Now that my kids are older, they may ask if they can finish their task before doing what we ask and that’s OK. Also, letting them make their own decisions helps as well. Give them a choice between two options (we want) and they feel like they had a say in it which helps a lot. Anyways, hope that helps. I know different things help for different kids.
The toddler stage is so cute, but so hard! My son is just entering toddlerhood, and I have been listening to the podcast Unruffled with Janet Lansbury obsessively. She talks all about parenting young children and her work has made me much more comfortable with the inevitable tantrums. I highly recommend it! http://www.janetlansbury.com/podcast-audio/
Oh gosh, our sons are twins right now. The battles are endless!!! I find the ONLY thing ( and that’s not even working well right now) is to prep Sully for anything we are doing. Like okay bud 5 minutes until we leave for daycare, 5 minutes until we turn off paw patrol, 5 minutes to dinner so he’s prepared and sometimes I do a countdown. I swear over the holidays I don’t know how many times I said to my husband, ‘hes going to kill me…’ I’m going to have to run away lol…hang in mama..we are in this together! So glad you see the light at the end of the tunnel xo
Hi Julie!
I loved your tips today! We are battling the same things at our house lately. I have a question. What are your favorite protein powders? I want to try incorporating them in our recipes and would love to know your favs.
Oh my goodness we are in the EXACT same boat. Except our footie pajamas are moose ones!
You must read “Behind Her Eyes” by Sarah Pinborough- I could NOT put it down.
For years now, I’ve followed along with an online Bible study/devotional group called “She Reads Truth.” You might enjoy if you haven’t already heard of it!
First I feel you on tantrums! We are in the trenches with you!
What kind of high hair do you have for Chase? We have a regular freestanding one but that’s been one of our battles as she wants to be by us when eating!
Oh the joys of toddler battles! This too shall pass….
But you might make not keep your sanity that long. Ha! Of course everyone has their tips and tricks. I always loved hearing them so I figured I’d share… A trick that helped toddler get out of the house/change in to Jammies/go to bed was setting a timer. Once the timer went off, we went and did whatever activity or thing we discussed to do prior to setting the timer. I let her set it and stop it when it goes off and it’s been a huge success for us! The other thing we try to do is offering l choices when possible so they feel like they still have some opinion and say. Would you like “x” or “y” for breakfast.? Would you like “x” shirt or “y” shirt for school? Best of luck to you!