My legs were not yet ready for an intense leg workout at the gym this morning. Still recovering!
I kept things light and began with 20 minutes on the elliptical before doing three sets of 15 repetitions of the following exercises at a lighter-than-usual weight:
- Step ups
- Deadlifts
- One-legged leg press
- Lunges
- Hamstring curls on exercise ball
Though my legs still feel a bit fatigued, they’re almost back to normal and lightly working them out felt good!
I rounded out my workout with another 10 minutes on the elliptical while reading Better Homes & Gardens magazine which reaffirmed my disinterest in gardens (totally skipped that section) and also made me feel bad about my lack of interior design skills. At least I found a great recipe to try!
Breakfast
Initially I wanted to make banana bread protein pancakes this morning, but we only had a small amount of oatmeal, so I made a batch of Stonewall Kitchen gingerbread pancakes and added some oats to the mix!
Topped with cinnamon chia seed granola and syrup!
Dating Duration Before Engagement
Last week I finished reading American Wife, the book we selected to read for the PBF October Book Club.
The book follows the life of Alice Lindgren, a Wisconsin girl who grows up, gets married and inevitably finds herself in Washington D.C. as the first lady of the United States.
In the book, she falls in love with Charlie Blackwell and they are engaged within a couple of months.
I remember taking a child development class in high school and I had a teacher who was adamant when she said that couples should date for at least three years before getting engaged because during a three-year timeframe, you’re likely to go through a significant change together, have some serious fights and weather a few dramatic events.
Ryan and I met my freshman year in college and dated for 5 1/2 years before getting engaged. Oddly enough, when we did get engaged, I still wasn’t sure we waited long enough (I was only 24!) even though I definitely knew he was “the one” and absolutely saw a future with him. Big decisions take a long time for me to make because I tend to over think them, almost to a fault. Getting married was a huge deal to me and I wanted to do it once and do it right.
To be totally honest, if Ryan would not have said “we’re getting a dog,” I’m not sure we’d even have Sadie. Yes, I wanted a dog, but I was so worried about being a good dog owner and giving a dog enough exercise and attention that I always talked myself out of it. Now I can’t imagine life without Sadie!
Though I tend to be overly cautious with big decisions, I absolutely love the stories of couples who met, got engaged on the third date and were married for 65 years. That kind of spontaneity and passion makes the romantic side of me turn to mush!
In the end, I think the ideal amount of dating time before an engagement completely depends on the couple.
Question of the Morning
- If you’re married, how long did you date your spouse before getting engaged?
- If you’re single or dating, how long do you think you’d like to be with someone before getting engaged (assuming you want to do so one day)?
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My fiancé and I were together about 2 and half years before getting engaged and we’ve been engaged a year NOW on nov 20th and won’t be getting married until aug 2012…so by the time we’re actually married we’ll have been together 4 years!!!
My fiance and I were together for almost 3 years before he proposed this July 4th. I would have gladly gotten engaged after 1 year though:) I think any sooner than that is just too quick unless they have a long engagement.
I got married 11/19, too!!! Congrats!!!!
I started dating my fiance when I was a sophomore in high school, and we got engaged 7 years later in the same spot where we met. We have had a nearly two year engagement since then, and now we are getting married in 10 days (11/19)! I feel like we’ve been through just about everything together; a year of long distance when he left for college a year before me, four years of college, two amazing fur babies, a huge move across the country for his job, and now in just over a week we will finally be husband and wife! This wedding has been a decade in the making, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way! I’m so excited!
I love this thread. I think it’s so important to have life experiences together so you can see how well you react to the punches. I think we do pretty okay, and we have always got each others’ back. So far we have gotten through:
– Living thousands of miles apart and a 7 hour time difference for over a year
– A stressful visa application
– Living together – bills, working, cooking, bills, living together stuff, bills!
– Talking about everything with him.
We believe firmly in COMMUNICATION – he’s not psychic and I’m not a mind-reader either, so we have to TALK. I believe the year apart really made us connect on a whole other level, but it was hard.
And, last but by no means least, my wonderful, amazing, fantastic mother passing away this summer. I don’t know what I will do without her, but I’m taking it one day at a time and knowing he’s got my back just makes it a little bit brighter.
I do love him xxx
We were together 4 years before getting engaged. I actually would have liked it to be sooner, but my hubby is SLOW with that stuff. I’m the same way you are about the dog though, we wouldn’t have one if it had been up to me because I was so worried about it. My husband had to take the reigns on that decision!
Ryan (my fiance) and I were together for 2 years before we got engaged, but knew each other for 3. I knew I wanted to be with someone for around 2 years before we got engaged, but some people still think that’s a short time!
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year and a half and moved in together about 2 months ago. We have talked about marriage and where we are heading but both feel that we should take our time and be more settled in our careers. He is just starting his own business and I just graduated from law school and am looking for an attorney position (not fun in this economy). We both think it is more responsible to make sure that your life is settled before you commit to a huge event though we both know that we want to be with each other forever.
My question is, how long do you think someone should be engaged for???
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years, living together for the past year. We both know that we are going to get married. I am ready and he is really good at throwing me off so I honestly have no idea when we will get engaged..it doesn’t help that I work in the wedding industry and basically have my whole wedding already planned. 🙂
I’ve been dating my guy for 6 years and am just now even thinking about marriage. I’ve never been all that interested in getting married (child of divorce, way too independent) but now I’m 29 and I love him more than ever. We’ve always been post-college relationship-wise and have raised a dog together and lived together for the past 2.5 years. I see myself with him for the long haul so who knows?
My husband and I both work in law enforcement for the same department. We worked out of the same station for over a year but never spoke. One of our mutual friends introduced us, though we were both very firm that neither of us wanted to be in a relationship. We started talked on the phone daily and waited an entire month before going out on our first date. We hit it off instantly, and were engaged 3 months later, married 9 months after than, and became pregnant with our first child 4 months after getting married. Now, we are in our early 30’s with two beautiful children and have been married for a little over 7 years. I never pictured that is how it would happen, but I wouldn’t change a thing!
my now husband of 4 years , proposed to me after 8 months of dating. He is 5 years older than me, and when i first met him i couldnt believe that he actually called when he said he would, wanted to meet my parents and friends, and was completely no sense.
i had no idea that he bought my engagement ring 5 months after we met, and that he had decided in his heart to ask me to marry him – i assumed that since i was 25 at the time, i’d have to wait and see where things went. I didnt wait very long because 3 months later he asked my parents permission and then asked me .
when i tell people that we got engaged 8 months after meeting, they will either look at me like im a freak, or tell me a similar type of story. We’ve now been married for almost 5 years, spent our first years together travelling, building our savings, fixing our home and now look forward to starting a family.
I do not regret that we got engaged so soon, i fully embrace it now, knowing that we spent our first crucial years together learning how to communicate, grow and live together as a couple.
One of the sweetest things my new boyfriend said to me recently was, “It may take me a year, it may take me five years, but I will ask you to marry me one day.”
And even though we’ve only been together 3ish months and things could change tomorrow, it’s a pretty exciting way to feel.
Just catching up on some posts….oddly enough I got engaged last night! I am beyond excited and didn’t expect it at all! We have been together for just over a year and I had recently realized that it may be awhile before we got engaged and I was okay with that, and then boom, it happened. Isn’t that the way it always is – when you least expect it!
I just got married this year. My husband and I met in late 2006, but didn’t begin dating until March 2008. Two years to the day after our first date, he proposed while we were in Florida for baseball spring training. And we married three weeks before our our dating/engagement anniversary in 2011. So juuuust under three years for us.
I actually thought my husband was moving pretty fast–my college boyfriend and I stayed together for six years without getting engaged or married, so I was not expecting a mere two years to engagement with my husband. 🙂 As others have said, it depends on the personalities. But it also depends on age. My 20s were spent with my college boyfriend, and I learned SO much about what a relationship should and should not look like, that it was easy for me to see that my husband and I were a really good bet to go the distance.
Such a fun post! I am loving reading all of the comments… too. All I know is that Ryan and I have been dating for almost 3 years now, and I am definitely ready for whatever is to come. Pretty sure Ryan is too, as he’s dropped some hints that things are in the works. This was a few months ago, though… so who knows what he has up his sleeve!
Just catching up on your blog and I’m loving reading all these comments! I met my husband when I was 16 & we became friends with my family. He went to college in our town and he and his friend ate lunch with my family every Sunday after church for years! Then we started dating when I was 18, engaged when I was 20, and married when I was 21 and he was 23. We were (and still are) babies. haha We’ve been married for 2 and a half years. We got married freakishly young, but we’re so happy! Also, we couldn’t live together for religious reasons so that definitely affected how long we wanted to date. Happy to say, I LOVE being married and enjoy it much more than i ever enjoyed dating or being engaged. Probably because it’s so much fun to live together, even though his workout clothes smell SO bad after he plays basketball with his friends 😉
I just got engaged after five years with my boyfriend (two of them cohabiting). All told, we started dating at 19 and 22 and will get married at 25 and 28.
More than anything else, moving in together and adopting our beloved dog definitely made me feel ready to tie the knot. Any other differences aside, spending my life and sharing my home with him just feels so natural and good… and I can’t wait to see him as a dad one day!
Have you heard of keeping a “checklist” for your perfect guy? I never actually did when I was single and looking, but after a few years with my honey, I realized that he met pretty much every single criterion I could think of.
Getting married is a big leap of faith these days, but I feel lucky to be jumping in headfirst with someone who really gets me. <3
It was fast for us. We met, were apart for 6 months, one in one country and another in one , then he came back, we got engaged and married. And all this happened in a year. We have been married for a 6 years now.
I am so happy that this was one of your top posts of 2011 because I am new to PBF and have very strong feelings on the topic. I was engaged to my husband after 8 months of dating, and married seven months thereafter. We got a lot of flack from people who didn’t know us as a couple, but our engagement made total sense to us and those who knew us well. We knew each other was the one after the first date. We were just beginning to get settled into our careers and shared the same dreams and values. Biding time didn’t make sense to us. In between our engagement and wedding, we bought a house. It was a very stressful time and not without fights. Yet, with the tremendous amounts of respect and trust we have for each other we were able to overcome the times when we didn’t quite see eye to eye. Not every relationship is the same. I understand, but for us the timing was right. Thanks for the soapbox and Happy New Year!!!
I know this post has been here for almost over a year, but it just reassured me about the relationship I’m currently in. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a little over two years. We started dating my freshman year of college and now I’m a junior. Two of my best friends from high school are getting married this summer, but I feel no where ready. I still have two more years of undergrad and he will be going off to law school next fall. I just don’t feel like I would be the wife he needs me to be for a good while. I know he’s the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with, but I just want to wait before making that commitment. Luckily, he feels the same way and wants to be financially established before he adds me on to his bank account haha Anyways, I’m sooo glad I stumbled upon this post because it showed me that I’m not the only one in this situation.
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I know this post has been up here a long time but I stumbled across it and had to comment!
My husband and I dated for 9 1/2 years, lived together for 5 years before he proposed. We ended up getting married the same day he proposed, it was perfect for us. We met in high school and definitely had a lot of growing up to do before we could get married.