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7 Months Postpartum with Baby #3 Update

April 5, 2021 by Julie 24 Comments

When I shared Rhett’s six month update on the blog a couple of weeks ago, I wrote that I was considering sharing more about postpartum life from my perspective as a mom. When you guys encouraged me to do just that, I made a mental note to type up my thoughts when I had a moment and today’s blog post is diving into postpartum life from my perspective now that we’re seven months into life with three kids.

Adjusting to Life with Three

I am so grateful to a couple of my close girlfriends who had a third baby before me who gave me the “real deal” on postpartum life with three kids. Every single one of them told me that the crazy kicks up a million notches and that things can just get really, really hard. Ryan and I talked about setting realistic expectations before Rhett’s arrival and I think this was so key to how we adjusted to life with a baby, a toddler and a big kid. I knew we’d need to truly be a team and we have been and that has saved me.

Christmas 2020 Ryan Julie Chase Ryder Rhett

When sleep was so horrific in the beginning, Ryan would frequently take Rhett from 4 – 7 a.m. so I could sleep in and that was so incredibly crucial to my overall wellbeing so I didn’t start the day feeling like a complete zombie. He was also instrumental in handling the big kids’ bedtime and often took Chase and Ryder away for a few hours on the weekend so I could have one-on-one time with Rhett in the first few months and get some work done to keep my business afloat.

In the beginning, I often joked that the big kids were still harder than the baby (with the MAJOR caveat being Rhett’s sleep) because my tolerance for brother battles and whiney kids was at an all-time low when I was so exhausted. I also felt like I couldn’t intervene during a fight over toy or discipline Chase and Ryder exactly the way I wanted to when Rhett needed me. I often felt (and can still feel) incredibly defeated. Yelling out for Chase and Ryder to stop or give each other space became the normal for a while there but now that Rhett is getting easier to put down for more than a second without crying, I feel like I’m getting back to a place where I can discipline from a place of learning and explain what/why what they’ve done is not okay or hurtful in the moment versus waiting to have that talk until after I’ve settled Rhett.

One thing that helps me a lot is shifting “no” or “don’t do that” statements to a statement that looks like, “I can’t let you ____ because  ___.” (i.e. I can’t let you knock down your brother’s tower because he worked hard to build it and he decides when it comes down.”) That has been really helpful and generally gets a much better response from our boys than just yelling at them to stop doing something without any reasoning other than Mom seeming upset. They learn and I feel better. Win, win. Taking a deep breath and keeping this phrase in my back pocket has helped me a lot during this transitional time.

I feel like a lot of what I wrote above focused on the overwhelming aspects of life with three but please hear me when I say life with three kids is actually really, really awesome. Chase and Ryder are BFFs and despite normal sibling squabbles, they get along very well. I’ve never felt more grateful for their close bond than I have in this phase of life. They love each other fiercely and I’m so, so glad that love has extended to their littlest brother, too. They have such genuine interest in Rhett and seem to want to help, hold and include him in their games and antics. Already they say they want “brother private time” with just the three of them and celebrate any little baby milestone (first tooth! trying new food!) with the sweetest big brother enthusiasm. Three boys = Three times the the chaos and a million times the love!

Asking for Help

For months after Rhett was born, I kept waiting for naps to normalize, the pandemic to get better or some free time to just magically appear. Spoiler alert: That never happened. I felt like every spare second I had needed to be dedicated to work just to keep this blog and my business afloat. To be honest, I still feel like that and, aside from reading before bed at night, I use almost every moment of any time I might have to myself to work and I still often feel like I’m barely squeaking by.

But there has been one huge shining light to make this phase of life feel more manageable. Madison! Ryan has always encouraged me to get help if I needed it to free up time to work but I just never wanted to because I love being a mom so much and somehow felt like I could manage both mom life and blog work without any help. I feel like this blog allows me the best of both worlds — I can work and support my family but also be home with my kids — but eventually I realized that working in random 30 minute increments was and is incredibly inefficient.

I still do that every single day but a few weeks ago, we hired Madison, the boys’ pre-pandemic favorite babysitter to watch Rhett and Ryder for three hours on Monday mornings while Chase is at preschool. The three hour block I now have to crush work without any interruptions is AMAZING. I look forward to Mondays so much now which shows me how much I genuinely love this blog and what I do, even if mom life always takes priority. Thank goodness for Madison! (And yes, I realize one three-hour block for work isn’t much, but it feels great to at least have something and Madison has another job we’re working around, too.)

Postpartum Fitness

I’ve worked out less than ever in this postpartum phase of life for two main reasons:

1. I wanted to be incredibly intentional with my pelvic floor recovery. Looking back, I did way too much too soon after I had Chase. I did plyometric exercises and ran sprints at Burn Boot Camp when I was 8 weeks postpartum and I’m convinced I experienced some serious incontinence because of it. I was smarter about my recovery after Ryder and even more cautious about my recovery after Rhett.

I bought @TrainerPaige‘s 12 week postpartum fitness program when I was about 2 months postpartum this time around and loved the way it gently eased me back into exercise and focused on TVA and pelvic floor recovery in a smart and safe way.

Note: I HIGHLY recommend any new or expectant mamas out there listen to this podcast episode from The Fitnessista’s podcast with Jessica Valant where they discuss safe postpartum recovery. It is incredibly informative.

2. The pandemic was in full swing and since I wasn’t willing to go to a gym with childcare, in order for me to work out with three kids in the mix , I had to work out at 5 a.m. and I wasn’t willing to sacrifice sleep when sleep was so incredibly awful for months and months. At seven months postpartum, I am just now beginning to slowly find a rhythm to my workouts and this looks like three to four 30-45 minute workouts a week  with an emphasis on strength training. Once I hit six months postpartum, I began slowly incorporating plyometric exercises and a little bit of running back into my workouts and it feels good! My best workouts typically happen on the weekends now when I have Ryan to help watch the boys and I can still work out without waking up at 5 a.m.!

Physical Changes + Postpartum Weight Loss

Ya know postpartum hair loss you read about? I experienced it after all of our babies but started losing massive amounts of hair way earlier this time! Every shower I found myself with clumps of hair in my hands and brushing through knots after a shower took some serious elbow grease. I am still losing a lot of hair but I’m thinking it may be on the verge of slowing down since the volume of hair I’m losing seems to be ever so slightly decreasing.

I also experienced intense postpartum night sweats soon after Rhett’s arrival but they went away within a few weeks.

Now let’s chat about postpartum weight loss since that seems to be a focus for moms after baby. With every baby I’ve had, I’ve found myself feeling less and less concerned with losing the baby weight and the overall appearance of my body. Does that mean I haven’t found myself feeling frustrated with my body or envious of the first-time moms I see on Instagram whose bodies bounced back in a month? Heck no! But it does mean that those feelings are fleeting.

Honestly, a big part of this shift can be attributed to getting older, realizing how much of what we see online is fake/unrealistic, shifting my priorities and being too darn busy to really focus as much on my physical appearance. I am more comfortable with myself and my body because I’ve come to a place where I realize that if someone is judging me for my body and the way I look, that is 1,000 percent their problem and not mine.

My body birthed three babies so thinking it will look the same as it did when I was 25 or even the same as it did after my first baby is crazy. I have love handles that think it’s cool to spill out over anything that’s not high-waisted, more cellulite in my hips and butt than ever and I look softer all over but it is what it is and I’m okay with it. I also know that after the birth of Chase and Ryder it took me a solid 9 months to a year to lose the weight I gained during pregnancy and I have a feeling my body may be following a similar timeline this time around as well. I do not weigh myself regularly but the last time I stepped on the scale a few weeks ago, I was about 8 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight.

Food + Nutrition

Man oh man eating well-rounded meals has been a rollercoaster in this postpartum phase of life. Throw sleepless nights, exhaustion and three kids in the mix and my desire to do any real cooking or meal planning was at an all-time low for months. Some things that helped: Doubling recipes and freezing half. Easy crock pot or Instant Pot recipes. Ignoring recipes all together and sticking with the basics (protein + veggie + starch). Daily Harvest deliveries. Breakfast for dinner. Instacart deliveries!

At seven months postpartum, I’m finding my cooking groove again and since I’ve always been one to genuinely enjoy cooking, baking and meal planning when I have the time, it feels good! I almost always do dinner prep during Rhett and/or Ryder’s naptime and then we re-heat the meal for dinner because trying to cook at 5 p.m. when everyone is awake is just mayhem.

I also have go-tos I reach for at certain mealtimes and that helps me a lot. For breakfast, this typically looks like oatmeal, oat bran or overnight oats of some sort. Lunch is often leftovers, a Daily Harvest bowl with some protein/beans added in or a big smoothie. Dinner is up in the air but as you can see from my March roundup of weeknight dinners, I’m keeping things simple and just try to buy a bunch of produce, grains and proteins at the grocery store each week so I can whip up something tasty in 30 minutes or less. We’re in a better place with food right now which feels really good.

Emotionally

How am I doing emotionally? I’m doing well. I’ve had pretty good postpartum recoveries from an emotional standpoint but feel deeply for mothers who struggle with postpartum depression and anxiety and hope that if that is you, you feel no shame in this and are able to find help and support during this intense phase of life.

While I wouldn’t say I struggle with postpartum anxiety, I absolutely do feel more anxious and worry more than ever as a mom. Worrying about my kids and their health and safety is at the top of my mind every day. Worrying about silly things, overanalyzing things related to my kids and their health and development… yep, I feel that, too.

On a lighter note, if you feel like you can never stay on top of cleaning your house with kids in the mix, ooooh boy do I feel that as well! Like I mentioned in my post about the transition from 2 to 3 kids, my motto as a mom of three was and continues to be “let it go!”

As for how I feel day-to-day, I can confidently say that on any given day I feel all of these feelings: Overwhelmed. Loved. Exhausted. Grateful. Frustrated. Joyful. Fully aware that I’m in the middle of living a time in my life I’ll long to live again.

The joy I find in motherhood every single day is rooted deeply in gratitude. In my bones and in my soul, I feel so lucky to have three kids I love with the most pure, vulnerable, intense and overwhelming love imaginable. I thank God every single day for our boys, for my husband and for the life we have because I know we’re so fortunate. Some days are easier than others and some days are downright hard but every day there is joy and every day I feel it when I look at my boys.

So that’s a not-so-brief look into postpartum life with three kids now that we’re seven months in. It’s chaotic, wonderful, hard and overwhelming and filled with cuddles, kisses, diapers and messes and that’s mom life in a nutshell for ya!

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Filed Under: Motherhood Tagged With: motherhood, postpartum, postpartum life

About Julie

My name is Julie and I am a full-time blogger, new mama, fitness enthusiast (certified personal trainer and group exercise instructor) and food fanatic (mostly healthy... but also not-so-healthy) living in North Carolina with my husband, dog and baby boy. Thank you for visiting Peanut Butter Fingers! I hope you enjoy little glimpses into my life and have fun trying the sweaty workouts I frequently share and making some of my favorite recipes along the way!

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Comments

  1. Joanna says

    April 5, 2021 at 8:27 am

    Julie, this is a great post! I have two boys closer to Chase and Ryder’s ages but found myself nodding at many of your points. Like the discipline tip I forget when yelling out for them to stop is sometimes used more! We also live away from family (from Chicago and recently moved to Charlotte!) and I still have a hard time asking for help outside of my husband. It’s something I need to get over, my me time is always appreciated! I’m with you on the food points. I also try cooking earlier in the day so we have the rest of the afternoon to do other things. This has totally helped my sanity because starting later makes me feel frazzled and the “I’m hungry” comments don’t stop! I also cook larger portions and we love leftovers. We’ll miss these crazy busy messy days and I feel so much gratitude for everything we have! You’re doing a great job and I enjoy your blog!

    Reply
  2. Julie says

    April 5, 2021 at 9:28 am

    Interesting and beautiful post, Julie! I enjoyed reading. I think you are doing just great! I admire how you and Ryan are a team and handle things together. Thanks for sharing your life with us!

    Reply
    • Haley says

      April 5, 2021 at 1:54 pm

      Agreed! Such a great balance of realness and positivity!

      Reply
  3. Megan says

    April 5, 2021 at 10:30 am

    Loved this update! I am 6 months postpartum so can definitely relate to a lot of it. Exhaustion is such a doozy but you’re right, there is so much joy in these days as well. <3

    Reply
  4. Jill says

    April 5, 2021 at 10:44 am

    Thank you for sharing. I appreciate you that you are always candid, but that you always try to focus on the positive and find joy. It’s a great reminder to focus on what matters (the love and the memories, not the sink full of dishes).

    Reply
  5. Torrie @ To Love and To Learn says

    April 5, 2021 at 11:13 am

    I relate to this so much, as I also have 3 kids and my youngest just turned a year old in December. YES to not caring nearly as much this time around about how quickly my body “bounces back”—I’m just grateful for all that it’s done and all that it continues to do, and like you said, I’m honestly way too busy to worry if other people are judging me based on my appearance! It’s so freeing.

    My husband and I worked out a system after our third baby with the first several sleep-deprived months—one of us would sleep out on the couch for half the night by the baby so the other could get a half night of uninterrupted sleep and then we’d switch when the baby woke up to eat in the middle of the night. It seriously saved my sanity! We don’t think we’re done having kids, so we’ll definitely do that again with our next baby.

    Reply
  6. Erin says

    April 5, 2021 at 11:21 am

    Such a sweet and relatable post, Julie! You are inspiring to all of us as we experience motherhood together. Thank you!

    Reply
  7. Jane says

    April 5, 2021 at 11:44 am

    Just wondering, did you do the placenta encapsulation this time around again?
    What are your thoughts and opinions of doing or not doing it?

    Reply
  8. Coree says

    April 5, 2021 at 2:48 pm

    Really, really appreciate that you are honest about how hard this stage of life can be! I always tell people my two little boys are simultaneously the hardest and the best things I have ever done. One does not cancel out the other, and I feel too often mothers fall into the trap of toxic positivity as to not seem ungrateful or like they don’t love their kids more than anything.

    Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
  9. lori says

    April 5, 2021 at 5:08 pm

    I am not a momma but I love reading your post as it make me more empathetic to my sisters and friends!

    Reply
  10. Lauren says

    April 5, 2021 at 8:19 pm

    I love your perspective and honesty on all of this! Enjoy every moment with your kiddos, they grow up in the blink of an eye!

    Reply
  11. Julie says

    April 5, 2021 at 8:23 pm

    Thank you for your honesty in this candid post! I am 7 months pp with our second and last baby. You hit the nail on the head with the comment ” Fully aware that I’m in the middle of living a time in my life I’ll long to live again.” I try to keep this thought in mind as well when I am feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. It truly is a crazy and awesome phase of life for sure! Thank you for “normalizing” the hard parts such as dividing time between kiddos, not enough time to always eat and exercise the way we want, caring less about our appearances etc. It’s comforting to know we’re not alone when we may not feel like we are handling this crazy phase as well as the IG supermoms make it look, or choosing to prioritize things differently then before !

    Reply
  12. Lindsey Humphrey says

    April 5, 2021 at 11:53 pm

    Love this post! I also have 3 boys – ages 4, 2, 5 months – and so I really relate to what you talk about! Can you tell me more about how you prep and then reheat dinner? I get it started during that afternoon nap sweet spot but haven’t been able to figure out what to do with it if I make the whole meal early – low temp oven? Cover with foil? Help 😂

    Reply
    • India says

      April 14, 2021 at 1:13 pm

      Agreed! This would be a great post.

      Reply
  13. Nat says

    April 6, 2021 at 7:10 am

    Hola!

    Zero kids here, but hair loss: maybe try on Monday mornings or overnight before hair wash days, or even a few hours before showering Castor oil or Amla oil massaged into the roots. Both are beneficial to help with hair loss and some say those pesky white hairs that pop up (still waiting on that one!). Castor oil takes a bit of work to massage it in, amla’s easier!

    Reply
    • Alexis says

      April 6, 2021 at 2:12 pm

      Thans, Nat! I have heard that about castor oil… maybe worth a try for me :).

      Reply
      • Nat says

        April 7, 2021 at 7:12 am

        Hi Alexis,

        No worries! Always hair to share tips!

        I’ve recently started with amla oil. It’s a lot easier to work with and my hair after is sooo silky soft (fine hair prone to any damage easily) after washing. Castor’s really thick but it has worked on my eyebrows. I also started washing my hair every other day which has helped it’s health condition. Make sure they’re 100% Castor or amla. You can mix them with other oil, check no sneaky petroleum mineral oil! I do an oil mask x2 a week using each one individually. I’m not sure if that’s too much but generally they say once a week! Castor makes me look really greasy so plan the oil mask 😂

        Reply
        • Alexis says

          April 12, 2021 at 1:34 pm

          I will try that, thanks, Nat!!

          Reply
  14. Maggie says

    April 6, 2021 at 8:08 am

    Yes to all this — the sometimes yelling, the not caring about the extra pounds, the dinner simplicity and the overall gratitude. Celebrated the first birthday of my third little guy over the weekend and feeling all of it. Thanks for articulating all the complexities of where many of us are with you! Really resonated with the awareness that I’ll look back and long for these crazy days of messy floors and toddler dance parties.

    Reply
  15. Alexis says

    April 6, 2021 at 2:09 pm

    Thank you so much for posting this, Julie. I have one baby boy (funny enough, a Chase also) who is a couple of weeks older than Rhett and my husband and I are both working full time (from home) while taking care of him. SO many days I feel like it’s impossible and so so hard to balance all of it and maintain a good relationship (he also isn’t one for good napping, but great at night at least!) and, at the same time, I look at him and almost melt into tears of gratitude for this perfect little boy. I wouldn’t presume that your life is perfect, of course, but I have found myself wondering how on earth you do it all and how it looks so easy 🙂 (especially the dinner thing, my gosh it’s hard to meal prep/cook dinner at 5pm!). Getting this real look and seeing the similarities balancing motherhood and life in the comments makes me so relieved that others have the same struggles and we’re all growing in this season together. Thanks again! P.s. the postpartum hair loss is reeeeeeaaaal. I think we have 5 gallons of draino at this point ha!

    Reply
  16. Kat Miller says

    April 6, 2021 at 3:47 pm

    Thank you for sharing your experience Julie! I am not a Mom but I so enjoy learning more about what IRL looks like for Moms. Very beautiful blog post. All I can say is “you’re doing amazing sweetie!” – Regina George’s Mom (typed with the utmost sincerity)

    Reply
  17. Kaitlin says

    April 14, 2021 at 1:58 pm

    Such a great post, Julie!

    Reply
  18. Audrey Davis says

    April 21, 2021 at 10:31 am

    Love reading these posts! You are such a sweet mom! Could you share the details (color&style)/provide a link for your jeans? I love them!

    Reply
    • Julie says

      April 21, 2021 at 2:04 pm

      yes!! they’re agolde — here’s my exact pair: https://bit.ly/3ewb3z0

      Reply

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Hi! I’m Julie and I am a mom to three energetic boys and a personal trainer and blogger living in Charlotte, North Carolina. Welcome to my blog! Peanut Butter Fingers follows my life and my interests in food, fitness, family, travel and (mostly) healthy living.
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