My legs were not yet ready for an intense leg workout at the gym this morning. Still recovering!
I kept things light and began with 20 minutes on the elliptical before doing three sets of 15 repetitions of the following exercises at a lighter-than-usual weight:
- Step ups
- Deadlifts
- One-legged leg press
- Lunges
- Hamstring curls on exercise ball
Though my legs still feel a bit fatigued, they’re almost back to normal and lightly working them out felt good!
I rounded out my workout with another 10 minutes on the elliptical while reading Better Homes & Gardens magazine which reaffirmed my disinterest in gardens (totally skipped that section) and also made me feel bad about my lack of interior design skills. At least I found a great recipe to try!
Breakfast
Initially I wanted to make banana bread protein pancakes this morning, but we only had a small amount of oatmeal, so I made a batch of Stonewall Kitchen gingerbread pancakes and added some oats to the mix!
Topped with cinnamon chia seed granola and syrup!
Dating Duration Before Engagement
Last week I finished reading American Wife, the book we selected to read for the PBF October Book Club.
The book follows the life of Alice Lindgren, a Wisconsin girl who grows up, gets married and inevitably finds herself in Washington D.C. as the first lady of the United States.
In the book, she falls in love with Charlie Blackwell and they are engaged within a couple of months.
I remember taking a child development class in high school and I had a teacher who was adamant when she said that couples should date for at least three years before getting engaged because during a three-year timeframe, you’re likely to go through a significant change together, have some serious fights and weather a few dramatic events.
Ryan and I met my freshman year in college and dated for 5 1/2 years before getting engaged. Oddly enough, when we did get engaged, I still wasn’t sure we waited long enough (I was only 24!) even though I definitely knew he was “the one” and absolutely saw a future with him. Big decisions take a long time for me to make because I tend to over think them, almost to a fault. Getting married was a huge deal to me and I wanted to do it once and do it right.
To be totally honest, if Ryan would not have said “we’re getting a dog,” I’m not sure we’d even have Sadie. Yes, I wanted a dog, but I was so worried about being a good dog owner and giving a dog enough exercise and attention that I always talked myself out of it. Now I can’t imagine life without Sadie!
Though I tend to be overly cautious with big decisions, I absolutely love the stories of couples who met, got engaged on the third date and were married for 65 years. That kind of spontaneity and passion makes the romantic side of me turn to mush!
In the end, I think the ideal amount of dating time before an engagement completely depends on the couple.
Question of the Morning
- If you’re married, how long did you date your spouse before getting engaged?
- If you’re single or dating, how long do you think you’d like to be with someone before getting engaged (assuming you want to do so one day)?
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i just got married in september. prior to being engaged, we were together *unofficially* about 4 years…
I met my husband in Jan 2009, we were engaged June 2009, and married Feb 2010. We knew instantly and were ready to take that step. Also I was 26 when we got married and he was 34. Both of us had careers and everything in order.
It’s funny to read all these comments because where I’m from, usually people only date for a short period of time (a few months) before getting engaged and married. I live in Utah, so the majority of the people here are Mormon. Because of the church’s standards, most people choose to get married quickly so they don’t break any rules 🙂
I think it just depends on the couple! Most of my friends dated their husbands for less than a year and are completely happy.
I’ve always thought 2 years was a good amount of time to get to know someone before you get married. But as I get older (I’m 28) I could totally see myself being that person who meets someone and is married 6 months later. I am established in my career and know what I want out of life, and I’d hope that I’d find someone in the same boat as me considering my age (not that I am all that old).
But I don’t think you can put an exact number on how long you should date someone. i think that is one of those things that you know when it is right and you can’t really put a definite number to it.
I met my husband, who I went to high school with, at a pizza place after a fair when we were 15. I dated his best friend off and on for 3 years and we were good friends, but not “like that”. Although we did our share of flirting.
After graduation, our school threw a huge post grad party for the newly graduated seniors and we hung out all night where more harmless flirting continued.
To make a long story short(er)…we started seeing each other 5 months later and dated for just over 4 years before we were engaged 🙂 We also had a 2 year engagement, which my family teased me about…but I had a lot going on and didn’t want to rush the details!
We’re celebrating our 3rd anniversary in January!
I was with an ex boyfriend for about 2 1/2 years when we got engaged (I was 21). Unfortunately things did work out, he was 7 years older than me and I think it was much too young – he wanted to have children soon afterwards (scary thought!!!). I’ve been with my boyfriend now for 3 1/2 years and we’ve talked about the future and getting married. Quite alot of my friends have gotten married recently (I’m now almost 26) and although I was a bit reluctant at the thought getting engaged again I most definately would love to now (HINT HINT Mr Watson ;o) ) LOL
I meant *didnt…. D’oh!
My husband and I dated for only a year before we were engaged. We were engaged for a year and 7 months before getting married 🙂 Now we’ve been married for a little less than 6 months!
i don’t believe the whole 3 years thing, because my husband and i have been together for a total of three years and we have had less than 3 arguments our entire relationship, literally! and all three of those were solved within 3 hours. Some people just know sooner than other i suppose, but it definitely doesn’t hurt to be apprehensive when getting married. It’s a HUGE decision and deserves all the time and thought you could give before making the decision! 🙂
When I saw Andrew, I knew that is it. He had my heart immediately. We have been doing for a bit over 4 years and will know each other for 5 in February. He got me a ring, a year after we met as a “claim” ring to keep the boys away…Its like an engagement ring, but not LOL. I want another 3-4 years before we get married so maybe another 2 years for the proposal…we will have been together for 6 years then! I will be 26 soon, and I think 28-29 I would like to be married 🙂
My hubby and I met when we were 19 and freshman in college…however we didn’t start dating until I was almost 23 years old and only dated a year before getting engaged, and then our engagement was a year. A lot of people felt like it was fast, but we had been such good friends for so long, when knew when we started dating it would be forever. 🙂
My husband and I got engaged two weeks before our fifth anniversary. I probably felt like I was ready 12-18 months before that but I also needed major orthodontic work and didn’t want to get married until it was all over (no braces in wedding photos, thanks).
During our five years together we lived interstate away from both our families and friends for two years then came home, got a cat and bought a house together so we were pretty well committed.
I know some people have moral or religious objections, but I couldn’t imagine getting married without living together first. I had to learn that my husband isn’t perfect but that I love him FOR that, not despite of it. My husband’s brother and his wife didn’t even kiss before their wedding day though and they’re going strong after five years so, as always, different things work for different people.
We only dated for a year and half before our wedding day (and we were only engaged for 3 months).The military forced us to speed things up if we wanted to be together, but I will forever be grateful for that. I’ll take as many days married to my best friend as I can get!
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years, and prior to meeting him I always said that at the 3 year mark if you’re not engaged, something is wrong. Well, now of course I know that there is a lot more that goes into it, and although I know I’m ready to be engaged like yesterday, other factors like finances, family, work etc play a big role in the process. I do hope I don’t have to wait TOO much longer 🙂
six months of dating and a one month engagement 😀
maybe a bit quick but it felt right. we’ve been married a year and a half now.
I love how open minded everyone is! My boyfriend was my high school crush. Right after he left our small town for college and I began my senior year of high school, we became a couple. I am excited to celebrate 6 years with him this weekend. We have been living together for four years and talk about marriage and that he doesn’t want to talk about when we will get engaged because he wants to be able to surprise me with it. That’s both the sweetest … and smartest thing for him to say haha. As long as I get to spend my life with him, I’m in no rush.
My husband and I just got married exactly 1 month ago. We were engaged for 8 months and dated for 5 and 1/2 years. Our senior high school prom was our very first date!! I am so in love!
My fiancee and I met while filling up our cars at a gas station. We had our first date at an Italian restaurant a few days later where we sat for 4 hours just talking and people watching. I knew after our first date that I was going to marry him. We dated a year before getting engaged, and we are getting married in 12 DAYS!
November 20th is our 21 month-iversary. Even though we have known each other less than 2 years, it feels like it’s been a lifetime. (As cheesy as it sounds) when you’ve found the right person, you just know they’re it.
🙂
My husband and I dated for nearly 9 years before getting married. We started dating when he was 19 and I was 20 when we met…we went through long distance, his law school, my masters and 6th year degree, fights, make-ups, deaths, and a ton before we got married, and we’re still learning! 😉 I think it definitely depends on the couple!
My husband and I were dating for 3 weeks before getting engaged and married in less than a year, BUT we had met at work 12 years earlier. We knew there was a connection there, but never really got it right. He was already involved with someone and I ‘m not the sort of person to cheat or encourage it, then I transferred with work, met someone and we sort of lost touch for a couple of years and then one day we bumped into each other (literally) at the races, got talking, discovered that we were both single and that was that 🙂 happily Ever After
I met my husband January of 2010. Our first date was end of march. Didn’t date too seriously. I was the queen of flings. Hated commitment. Then in the end of July we got serious. He proposed in October. Married end of December 2010. I can honestly say he is the love of my life. I fall in love w him every single day! I’ve never been happier in my entire life! It’s almost been a year. The newly we’d phase never has to end. That is our motto. Sorry I tried to keep that short!!
my boyfriend and i have been together for 3.5 years! We first got together when he was 15 and I was 18! (Yes I was that scandalous senior robbing the freshmans cradle!) But we’re still together, he is now a freshman in college and I have a full time job. We hope to be engaged in the next 2 years, If we could afford to live together (we both still live with our parents) i’m sure we would, and if we could afford it i’m sure we’d be engaged already. I know we belong together forever 🙂
my hubby or i aren’t impulsive people. neither of us had been married previously. but we were engaged within 4.5 months of dating and married about 6.5 months later! by that time we were 35 and 32. i guess by then you’ve been thru a lot, finished education, started a career, dated plenty. . . and we just knew. there were never any reservations, and there still aren’t 🙂 he’s shown himself consistent and true as the day i met him. and we’ve had to weather A LOT of major storms with regard to family illness and such.
i really think it depends on the people. but i do think it’s wise to go thru several life “seasons” with someone to see what they’re made of, how they react, etc. unfortunately, i know of a lot people and friends who really didn’t know who they were marrying, and it’s led to a lot of heartache.
My boyfriend and I met in college and have been together 7 years – and we are very close to an engagement! I think it all depends on the couple, but generally I would say the longer the better, just so you know each other as well as you can. And the more you go through together, especially the tough times, the better you can tell how your partner will support you when you need it and vice versa. But my parents met and got married within 2 months and they’ve been together for 32 years! So I don’t think there’s really a right or wrong way to do things! It’s so personal.
Hi Julie, this is my first comment – i live in Australia and just recently came across your blog & now i’m addicted! Hahaha. I feel like i’ve found my twin when reading your posts and in regards to your love of a healthy lifestyle but incurable sweet tooth 😉
Im single currently but my old pastor used to always say that a year was a good length to date as you can experience life together through all the seasons which i think is a good little piece of wisdom. However i think when you know, you know 🙂
Thanks for writing such a great blog!!
4 1/2 years! Long time 🙂
I think your age definitely tends to play a factor…at least it did for me! We also met freshman year of college, after only being there for a couple of months. So even after a year or so when we realized we wanted to be together forever we didn’t feel like we were emotionally mature enough for “marriage.” Since we were still in school, our parents were helping us quite a bit and it just didn’t feel like the way I wanted to start off our married life. We got engaged on my 21 birthday, so we had been dating for about three years and then got married about a year and a half after that, which was a year after we graduated college.
So even though we had been dating 4.5 years when we got married we were only 22, which is pretty dang young, but it felt like perfect timing and we’ve been married a year and a half now and I love married life 🙂 i kind of wish we hadn’t waited quite so long actually!
I have only been dating my boyfriend for 2 months. He just told me this weekend he wants to marry me someday. he didn’t propose or anything. I could see us getting engaged before we’ve even been dating a year though.
My sisters were just saying this summer I would be the person to get married in Vegas or something spontaneous.
I think it also makes a difference that I am 27 and my boyfriend is 33. We are also both well established in our careers.
We were together for two years before getting engaged. I’ve been in longer relationships where I wasn’t comfortable with talking about marriage but with him I kind of always knew where it was heading. When he did propose, it completely took me by surprise but I knew I had gotten to a point where no matter when he decided to ask I was going to say yes.
My parents met in December at a Christmas party my aunt was hosting and were married in the next July…so met, dated, and engaged in 7 months! They’re still going strong after 37 years!!
My hubby and I knew each other in high school (we’re 2 years apart in school years) but never dated. After not talking or seeing each other for 5 years or so we reconnected and began dating. 9 months later he proposed on a beach in Greece! Our engagement was rather long though, and pushed us over the 2 years together mark once we finally said our vows. I got married a bit younger than I had anticipated (at 23) but knew that he was the guy for me and was ready to start my life with him before he asked! It sounds rushed to a lot of people, but since we were friends in high school it took out some of that “getting to know you, what’s your background, what kind of person are you?” learning curve.
We have a really similar story! I was friends with my soon-to-be-fiance in high school and we started dating 5 years later. We plan to get married next fall, so that will be 2 years from our first date. We’ll also be getting married at 23 🙂
Thanks for sharing! So often we get some taco-neck action (think about how you eat a taco…tilted head) and a confused look from people who don’t understand how we never dated in high school but reconnected and ended up married. I definitely had a crush on my hubby in high school, and there was some mutual flirtation action but nothing more than friends back then! It was so funny when I told my old friends that I was dating him. Always the same reaction: a pause, “huh” and encouragment because they knew we were a good match because of our personalities.
Good luck as you plan your wedding, it’s stressful but so worth it and fun!
I think one year would be my minimum before getting engaged. I don’t think you can honesty know a person and have gone through enough to be ready to get married before that.
My husband and I knew each other from introduction to wedding for 7 months. And we’ll be married 10 years next May. Funny thing is, I knew who he was before he even knew I existed. I told my BFF that I was going to marry him, and I did 🙂
My husband and I met when I started college, but he is 5 years older than me (he was going on and off, finally finished after 10 years! and I finished after 6!) and we were friends for A LONG TIME (7 years) before we started dating. I knew there was something special about him when I first met him, but we stayed friends instead, and we were both dating other people. Once we started dating, we were engaged within a year and a few months and married less than a year later. We just knew we wanted and were supposed to be together! Once you know, you know! It’s good to know each other’s history and personality thoroughly! Now we’re living and teaching overseas and I’m pregnant with our first baby! 🙂 Patti Stanger on Millionaire Matchmaker says you should know within a year if you want to get married, lol! 🙂
My husband and I dated for 11 months before getting engaged but 3 months after we met we talked about getting married. I think you gotta do what you are comfortable with!
Kyle and I dated 6 months, married 9 months after that, currently married 2 years 2 months. It felt fast, but right and at 24 I felt young too.
I’m getting engaged this winter & I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 10 months 🙂 We plan to get married just under 2 years after our first date; however, we’ve been friends for 8+ years, so we know each other better than some couples might after dating for less than a year, ya know? I’ve dated quite a few guys & never been in love until this fellow!
My fiance and I moved in together after a year and a half, we bought a house together which was a huge commitment in my mind. We got engaged 3 months before our 3rd ”anniversary” together and we are getting married this summer on exactly the day of our 4th year together 🙂
Engaged after 9 years, married after 11 years from our first date. We were 19 when we met so we still had a lot of growing to do and wanted to finish undergraduate AND graduate school before we settled down. Of course I started to get impatient but I think it was right for us. If I could go back, I would do it the same way all over again. We finally got married two months ago!
My fiance and I dated for 6.5 years before he proposed. From the very second that I first met him I knew he was the one. Within minutes we were best friends and there hasn’t been a day since that our relationship has done anything but grow. I’m as cliche as they come, I know but it’s true! We’re in our 4th year of college (undergrads) and have been engaged for 5 months. My finance is everything I could ever dream of and so much more!
My boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly 3 years now, juniors in college. I know we’re still young and have our lives ahead of us after school, but I can’t help and think about our future together. Married, two dogs, eating dinner together, watching TV. Sounds pretty ordinary, but our whole relationship has been long-distance. With busy schedules and no car on my end, it’s lucky we are able to see each other each month. He’s truly my best friend, and I don’t take for granted the time we have with each other so every seemingly mundane thing (eating together, watching Hulu together, running together) is so special to me. The idea of being able to see him every day…can’t even imagine.
The problem is I don’t think any sort of engagement will happen anytime soon. Our life plans are completely different and based in completely different cities. He wants to go to med school more than 8 hours away and eventually wants to do Doctors Without Borders overseas. The thought literally breaks my heart. But I’m willing to wait 15 years if it means I could still have him in my life. So I’ll guess we will see!
I actually met and was close with my husband’s family before I ever met him. He lived in another state with the military, and his mother just “happened” to introduce us when he was visiting once. She had it right, because we just fit so well together. The transition was easy for us, and I’ve never doubted anything since the first date.
We were a bit older and established in our careers. Being established and on your own, and also having dated A LOT of wrong people made it so easy for me to know. We were together 4 months before he deployed for the first time for 6 months- made it through that- and were engaged just before our 1 year anniversary of dating. We married a week later in a wedding by ourselves, but had a formal wedding 6 months later. We may have moved quickly, but in that short amount of time we endured a lot as a couple and got to see each other in many stressful and unpleasant situations. I’ve never looked back:) Many people thought we were crazy, but I’ve also known people who dated for 7 yrs before marriage and then were divorced in less than 6 months. I think it is all about when you know, you know and don’t do it if you are having serious doubts.
My boyfriend and I started as a long distance relationship. We met accidentally. He’s from TX, I’m originally from MD but after graduating in May I spontaneously moved to FL (no job, knew no one, just free spirit). His best friend moved in across the street and Bryan came to help. I knew his best friend before that. As soon as I met Bryan and saw those crystal blue eyes I knew there was something different about him and I haven’t stopped smiling since. We started as best friends, neither of us were looking for anything but in each other we found this indescribable comfort and bond. We told each other things even our lifelong friends and family didn’t know. We fell in love and after spontaneously taking a 700 mile roadtrip to TX to visit him we officially began dating. Now we live together with our 2 year old mutt, Lily in Austin, TX and still laugh and love like little kids. He’s the best friend I’ve ever had, my biggest confidant, my greatest supporter, my partner in every walk of life from scaling the tallest mountain in TX together to making a home out of an old, once shabby 579 square foot apartment. Yesterday we designed my engagement ring and while we’re not officially engaged yet, we’ll be getting married October 13, 2012. Life works in mysterious ways and the best things in life often aren’t planned.
My husband and I dated for about 3 1/2 years before we got engaged. I had begun to get a little impatient, since we had both known for quite awhile that we wanted to be together. He proposed in an amazing way, and we had a 9 month engagement. When we got married I was 23 (very mature for my age, though) and he was 26.
Looking back, yes, we could have gotten married sooner, but it was so wonderful how by that time we knew each other so so well. Even though we didn’t live together before getting married, we knew that we worked so well together. Very similar personalities.
We will be married for 3 years in April, and will also be welcoming our first baby then!! We are so excited for our little one, and are just enjoying life so much together!
Our one year anniversary is this month! Alex and I met in Fort Myers, Florida and dated a few months before I pretty much moved in with him. 7 months after we started dating we picked a city on the map and moved to Nashville and I couldn’t be happier! There is nothing I would change about our relationship or where we decided to live. We know we were made for each other (plus he loves my shih tzu Charlee). I adore their relationship too 🙂 engagement is something we talk about and have decided to give it a few years until we get our careers on the right path.
I recently got out of a relationship with my boyfriend of a year. I’m only in my second year of university, but I really did think that this guy was the one. Unfortunately, he didn’t feel the same. It’s been about two months since we broke up and it’s still just as hard as the day it happened. Everyone around me says that I’m just upset because he was my first love, and that it will take me about half the time our relationship lasted to get over it, but I want to start enjoying things like university life and my amazing friends wholeheartedly again. I want to start having hope that I will find someone, who might be a better fit for me than this guy was. Your story gives me some hope because you had a long term boyfriend when you met Ryan. I guess it just goes to show that not every guy you date, no matter how much you care about him, is YOUR one. Sorry for the blah-ness amongst all the amazing stories of people falling in love and getting married (which I probably shouldn’t be reading at a time like this ;)).
Currently dating, we’ve been together for almost 3 years and I’m definitely ready! I’m not sure there’s a magic number, I think as long as the couple is mature and truly in love I think it’s okay. However, I do think it takes some time, maybe a year at least, to get to know most things about your significant other.
My husband and I met at the end of my 8th grade year (he is a year older). This was junior high of course, my cousin met his friend at a local fair. After talking with his friend for a few weeks he said he had a friend he wanted me to meet, my future hubby apparently. I do still remember bits of that first phone conversation. So we agreed to meet, waited a year before we became an official couple, dated for 6 months, broke up, couldn’t be friends, re-connected after high school, dated for a year, engaged for18 months and married for 11 years now.
I do believe that we were meant to meet at some point in our lives. Our famliy and circle of friends overlapped many times and we never knew it. There was a moment a few years ago that it hit me, if we had not met when we did we would have met at that exact moment. Which leads me to really believe we were meant to meet.
My husband and I met on a Saturday, the following Sunday I moved into his house and then 2 weeks after that we were engaged. (Mind you we were online friends for 4 years). We had 18 months before the wedding and now we’ve been married for almost 3 years. Life is sweet. x
What a loaded question! There are so many different views about this topic… and the views vary so much. I think the decision kind of comes from religious beliefs, personal expectations and compromises. Not saying certain religions say “Oh you’ve been dating for a year. Time to get married!” But I do think beliefs affect when a person wants to get married. I mean the sex before marriage issue, the living together issue. Everyone has a different opinion. And even though I believe one thing, I think people should base it on what they know and where they came from.
Me: I really don’t want to live with my boyfriend of two years before marriage, even though we have discussed being the one for each other way back when we first started dating as seniors in college. My reasons stemmed from my religious beliefs and the relationship of my parents, who have been married almost 27 years.
But his personal expectation was to wait till a certain age, live together for a while (it worked for his sister, why not us?) and then get married.
Between the two of us… we are compromising 🙂
In the end, I know what I think is right, but we have to make compromises with each other. We are living separately, but may have to live together a while while engaged… (We have discussed that my lease may run out too early… But no, we aren’t engaged.)
I, personally, figured that if we were going to build a life with each other after college, why not make the commitment to REALLY build a life together? Oh well. I can compromise 🙂
(Did I write a long enough book? Geez this is a long comment!)
We dated 8 months, were engaged for 3 months, and now we’ve been married for 2 years. I couldn’t even drink alcohol at my wedding, since I was barely 20.
When we were dating he was diagnosed with cancer… That sped things up for us.
No regrets though. I am still so completely in love and can’t wait for the next 5, 10, 50 years…!
My fiance and I started dating in high school and by the time we got engaged (this past June) we had been together for about 4.5 years. When we get married this coming summer we’ll have been together for 5.5 years!
Like you said, I think the amount of time before an engagement/marriage completely depends on the couple. When you know it’s right, why wait I guess! : )